Turbo Kid (2015)

  Content warning:  blood, gore

In the post-apocalyptic future of 1997, The Kid (Munro Chambers) scavenges for relics of a bygone age, especially media of a comic book superhero, Turbo Man.  The Wasteland's water supply is controlled by Zeus (Michael Ironside), a warlord who kidnaps people to fight to the death for his entertainment.  Zeus kidnaps The Kid and his manic pixie dream robot Apple (Laurence Leboeuf) and force them to fight for their lives.

I think I was just not in the right mood for this.  I can see how it could have been a really fun watch, maybe with a group of friends, but it just hit me the wrong way.  I didn't find it funny and I think it succeeded a little too well at pretending to be a shitty 90s action movie.  It would have been one thing if it acknowledged every bad, lazy trope and had something to say about it, but it just presents them as is.  As a parody, this could have been great.  But instead, it's an homage and what exactly are you celebrating?  

Maybe for you it's a so-bad-it's-good film to watch with your friends, Mystery Science style.  If so, it's streaming on Tubi.  But this was not for me.

A Bigger Splash (1973)

  So I was actually supposed to watch the 2015 Tilda Swinton movie called A Bigger Splash but watched this one accidentally.  

This is another experimental 70s film.  It's kind of a documentary about David Hockney, a pop artist, and his breakup with partner/muse Peter Schlesinger.  There are elements that are fictionalized, flashbacks and so on, but mostly it's just following Hockney as he tries to recover his inspiration by wandering through 70s New York and southern California.

It is very meandering and even though it's barely more than an hour and a half, it feels way longer.  It's a little whiny and self-indulgent for my tastes, but I do think it's an important snapshot of queer life in the 1970s from someone who isn't Andy Warhol.  Probably why it's on the Criterion Channel.

Poetry (2011)

  Content warning:  suicide, rape (discussed)

An elderly, fragile woman, Yang Mija (Yoon Jeong-hee), takes up a long-dormant interest in poetry but finds herself struggling to connect with the beauty she feels it needs to be created, when all around her is ugliness.  Her grandson (Lee David) and five of his friends raped a girl from their school until she killed herself, and now the fathers of all the other boys are pressuring Mija to come up with the money to settle out-of-court with the dead girl's family.  So that this little incident doesn't ruin the boys' futures.  Mija feels isolated, torn between a lifetime of fading into the background and standing up for herself.

This is a very heavy movie.  It is beautiful in its way, but it's definitely not an easy watch.  Yoon gives a masterful performance as Mija.  You can see the delicacy of her character, the tatters of an easy, even frivolous life falling away as she's forced to confront the darkness.  

If you're prepared, give this a try.  It's streaming on Criterion.

The Preacher's Wife (1996)

  Happy belated May Day.  Here's a Christmas movie.

Reverend Henry Briggs (Courtney B. Vance) can feel everything slipping away: his church, his family, his faith.  Desperate, he prays for help.  And receives Dudley (Denzel Washington), a charming man claiming to be an angel.  Briggs doesn't have time for foolishness but he can't deny that Dudley seems to have a certain way about him, especially with regards to Briggs' neglected wife, Julia (Whitney Houston).  As Julia and Dudley grow closer, Briggs discovers that he might be focusing on the wrong things.

Man, I miss Whitney Houston.  Talk about a generational talent.  

The movie is fine.  It's got an incredible cast including Jenifer Lewis, Gregory Hines, Loretta Devine, and Lionel Ritchie with an uncredited appearance by Shari Headley.  If you like gospel music, the soundtrack is world-class.  It's the kind of easy, light Christmas movie that Hallmark has been churning out in batches for decades, diluting the appeal through sheer volume.  But it's worth tracking this one down.  

Celine and Julie Goe Boating (1974)

  Content warning:  child death, blood

Julie (Dominique Labourier) is minding her own business, learning witchcraft in the park --as one does-- when she sees a woman drop a scarf.  This simple act leads her to meet Céline (Juliet Berto), a stage magician and general pathological liar.  One of Céline's side-gigs is at a mansion in Paris that appears to be abandoned except for the days that she shows up.  She walks inside the house, and then some time later is violently pushed back out, remembering nothing, but with a piece of hard candy in her mouth.  Julie switches places with her one day, and the same thing happens.  Only when she eats the candy later does she remember the events, where two women --Sophie (Marie-France Pisier) and Camille (Bulle Ogier)-- scheme over a recent widower (Barbet Schroeder) with a sick child, Madlyn (Nathalie Asnar).  Julie or Céline find themselves in the body of Madlyn's nurse, Angéle, playing out the same events over and over, unable to stop Madlyn from being murdered.  The women decide that they must do something to save the little girl by figuring out whether Sophie or Camille is the killer.

This movie is 3 hours and 14 minutes long.  Just going to put that out there first.  It is incredibly shaggy, as in you just follow Céline and Julie around for like half the runtime before you even get to the central mystery.  That may put some of you off and I get it.  But if you give it a chance, this movie is incredibly entertaining.  Labourier and Berto are so charming and lively that it's not a hardship to watch them run-around like Lucy and Ethel on the set of a Twilight Zone soap opera.  

It's streaming on the Criterion Channel.

A Shock to the System (1990)

  Here's another one for you ambitious corporate ladder-climbers out there in the same vein as No Other Choice. 

Graham (Michael Caine) is passed over for a promotion at his company in favor of Bob (Peter Reigert), a younger yuppie with grand schemes of modernization.  He realizes that the fastest way to get ahead is to remove the obstacles --Bob-- before him.  But murder is a tricky thing, liable to get way out of control.

This is a pretty decent dark comedy, especially for its time.  There is one scene that could be read as date-rapey, but the movie leaves enough leeway that if you're feeling generous, you can still have some reasonable doubt.  

For whatever reason, Tubi has a very poorly censored version that is not marked as such, so I didn't know until about a quarter through.  There are very few things that immediately spark my ire like an outside party deciding what I'm allowed to hear and see.  So I would suggest finding an alternate viewing medium.

You Were Never Really Here (2018)

  Content warning:  child abuse, child trafficking, blood, suicide

Joe (Joaquin Phoenix) finds lost and stolen children while not dealing with years of trauma and abuse.  A senator (Alex Manette) hires him to rescue his daughter, Nina (Ekaterina Samsonov), kidnapped by a child trafficking ring.  Joe does, only for the rescue to turn south because --shockingly-- the politician may not have told him the complete truth.  

This was a highly stylized film and I completely understand if people don't vibe with it.  There are a lot of really heavy themes that the movie just asks you to sit with and if you don't want to, that's okay.

Personally, I liked it.  It was hyper-violent and also really short, clocking in at exactly 90 minutes.  I'm not a huge fan of Phoenix as an actor but he did some great work here.  Samsonov doesn't have a lot to do but it's always nice to see a not annoying child actor.  The ever-great character actor John Doman (a "that guy", you'll know him when you see him) also shows up and scream queen Judith Roberts plays Joe's mom and the emotional center of the film.  

It's an Amazon original so that's where you can find it.