Inside Out 2 (2024)

Nominated for Best Animated Feature    I was prepared to write this off as the obligatory Pixar inclusion but I actually really loved it.  

Riley (Kinsington Tallman) is a teenager now and her emotions: Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Fear (Tony Hale), Anger (Lewis Black), and Disgust (Liza Lapira) have been working overtime to keep up.  But with new stressors --hockey camp, meeting her high school idol, finding out this is her last year with her best friends-- comes new puberty-enhanced emotions like Anxiety (Maya Hawke), Embarrassment (Paul Walter Hauser), Envy (Ayo Edibiri), and Ennui (Adèle Exarchopoulos).  Joy has been carefully tending Riley's Sense of Self only to have Anxiety begin to threaten her artfully chosen memories.

Once again, the Inside Out characters delve into thorny psychological concepts with wit and humor overlaying true understanding.  I love that the Core Memories from the first have become a garden of Beliefs that form Riley's sense of Self and how delicate they can be, but also how mutable.  The Self isn't static; it's constantly responding to new stimuli and changing into new shapes.  And that Joy's blithe insistence on only holding on to positive beliefs actually weakens Riley so that the first negative thing that happens causes her to spiral into anxiety.  

I don't want to go too deeply into the ending but I found it to have really powerful imagery that's mostly unspoken.  **SPOILERS FOLLOW**  She floods Riley's memory pond with conflicting --even negative-- emotions, forcing her confront her actions and sparking introspection, a more nuanced sense of Self, and enhanced maturity.  **END SPOILERS**  It's given the context of "feeling your feelings" but it was more than just that for me.  How we feel influences how we see ourselves and toxic positivity is just as damaging as its opposite.

Inside Out 2 is currently streaming on Disney+.

Flow (2024)

Nominated for Best Animated Feature and Best International Feature  This movie stressed me out.  

A cat must navigate a world threatened by rising water, finding relative safety on a boat with a crew of other random animals as they search for high ground.

This was the Oscar submission from Latvia and it's one of the strongest animated showings I've seen in years.  I felt genuine distress every time that cat was in danger.  I was a little distracted at first because the collection of animals is weird: a capybara, a secretary bird, a ring-tailed lemur, and a golden retriever, all of which are from different continents, but the architecture of the human (?) built structures is also weird so then I didn't care as much.  It's obviously some sort of fantasy setting.  (Tyler suggested it takes place in Hyrule.)  

There's no attempt made to anthropomorphize the animals so it's completely wordless, which means you have to pay attention to every frame.  This is not the movie to have on while you play on your phone.  

The animation is very soft and almost dream-like.  I generally don't pay attention to the score but it is also very soothing.  It reminds me of music you'd hear in a video game, present but not calling attention to itself.  In fact, I would not be surprised to find that this started out as a cut-scene or demo of a planned video game like Stray.  Too lazy to look it up though.

It's currently only in theaters (if you're lucky) or available through your handy-dandy VPN.

Conclave (2024)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Original Score, Best Film Editing, Best Production Design, and Best Costume Design    Man, I love movies about popes.  This is not to say that I love the Roman Catholic Church as an institution or organized religion in general, but every story about a papal conclave is so full of drama and intrigue.  It's like the world's highest-budget Real Housewives of Jesus.

As Dean of the College of Cardinals, it is Father Lawrence's (Ralph Fiennes) job to convene a conclave to choose the next pope.  It is a hugely political affair with rival factions behind the hardline traditionalists led by Father Tedesco (Sergio Castellitto), the moderates behind Father Tremblay (John Lithgow), and the reformists represented by Father Bellini (Stanley Tucci).  Moments before the doors are closed to sequester the priests away, a newly created cardinal, Father Benitez (Carlos Diehz), is admitted.  Dean Lawrence must keep the cardinals from being influenced by the outside world, but soon discovers that corruption may have already been spread.

There's at least one major spoiler.  I thought it was pretty obvious but that doesn't mean I'm going to ruin it for others.  Fiennes has always been great and he's very good here.  I don't know if he's going to win because I haven't seen anyone else in the category yet, but an excellent performance regardless.  Isabella Rossellini's nom feels like one of the Academy's belated Lifetime Achievement awards.  She doesn't have a lot to do here.  Tucci steals every scene.  The man does more with a look than most people do in their entire careers.

So far this is my favorite.  It's currently streaming on Peacock.

To Be or Not to Be (1942)

  This was a Movie Club pick from last week but I had to get through some other stuff first.  

Polish WWII resistance learns that a supposed ally, Professor Siletsky (Stanley Ridges), is actually a German spy about to present a list of family and friends of Polish RAF officers to the Gestapo.  A pilot, Lieutenant Sobieski (Robert Stack), has flown to Warsaw and used his pre-war connection to famed actress Maria Tura (Carole Lombard), now leading the resistance, to have her intercept Siletsky.  Tura's husband, Josef (Jack Benny), pretends to be the Gestapo commander to get Siletsky to hand over the documents.  Identities switch back and forth as Josef and Maria give the performances of their lives.

So the plot does not give an indication of how funny the movie actually is.  It's a comedy about how dumb the Nazis are and that seems really relevant today.  Sometimes the only way to combat evil is to point out how ridiculous it is.  Lombard is luminous in this, effortlessly seducing every single man she comes across.  Normally, it would seem like lazy writing that she's just so beautiful men fall over themselves to offer her state secrets, but with her it seems completely believable.  

It does feel a little dated, mostly because everyone has a different accent and that's just not addressed at all, but it is still very good and remains funny thanks to a very sharp script and fast, glib dialogue.  

There is a 1983 remake starring real-life husband and wife Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft that is also very good.  Either version is well worth watching, but the 1942 one is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel, Kanopy, and (sigh) Max.

The Phantom of the Paradise (1974)

  This movie is bananapants bonkers and I don't know if I love it for itself as much as I love the idea of inflicting it on others.  But I love the latter reason a whole lot.  Content warning:  drug use, mild gore

Winslow Leach (William Finley) has spent his life writing a major cantata of the story of Faust only to see it stolen and bastardized by pop music impresario Swan (Paul Williams).  Discredited, disfigured, and disgusted, Leach sets out to sabotage Swan's music palace, The Paradise, only to succumb to the lure of fame and the talent of Phoenix (Jessica Harper), his muse and unrequited love.  But when Swan sets his greedy sights on Phoenix, Winslow knows he must destroy the monster once and for all.

There is A LOT to unpack in this movie.  It is Faust, Phantom of the Opera, The Picture of Dorian Grey, and a searing satire of Phil Specter and the history of rock-n-roll all tossed in a blender with a fuckload of cocaine and directed by giallo-noir pioneer Brian DePalma with a soundtrack of parody and an actual Faust musical written by the Muppets' "Rainbow Connection" guy who is also the villain of the movie.  Somehow it came out a year before Rocky Horror which feels like the fakest part but is true.  

In the words of the prophet Stefani, it is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.  

This was a major flop that has become kind of a cult classic but still isn't hugely known.  It's streaming on Amazon Prime and words truly do not do it justice.  If you liked Rocky Horror and its very lesser-known sequel, Shock Treatment, this will feel like a long-lost sister film.  If you didn't, stay far away.  

Kwaidan (1965)

  Some bonus post-Halloween ghost content for your All-Souls Day.  

This is an anthology of four traditional Japanese ghost stories.

The Black Hair - a samurai (Rentarô Mikuni) regrets the choices he made in service of ambition.

The Woman in the Snow - a woodcutter (Tatsuya Nakadai) has a terrifying run-in with a snow demon (Keiko Kishi).

Hoichi the Earless - a blind monk (Katsuo Nakamura) is summoned to perform a historical epic for its victims.

In a Cup of Tea - a samurai (Kan'emon Nakamura) is tormented by a ghostly presence reflected in his teacup.

I don't throw the word "masterpiece" around very often so trust me when I say it.  Kwaidan is a masterpiece of Japanese cinema.  The scare factor of this is very low while the art factor is extremely high.  Every scene is basically a painting that moves.  It is a stunning film.  The performances feel a little wooden, a little stage-y, but it just adds to the vibe.  It does run a little over three hours but I did not feel it.  

It's streaming on the Criterion Channel and also (sigh) Max.  Treat your eyeballs.

31 Days of 2024 Horror - Day 31 - Cuckoo (2024)

  Happy Halloween!  Hope everyone enjoys their trick-or-treating/parties/demonic rituals responsibly and is extra nice to their goth friends because at midnight, we begin our long slumber until Christmas.  Content warning: blood

Gretchen (Hunter Schafer) reluctantly travels with her father (Márton Csókás), step-mother (Jessica Henwick), and mute step-sister (Mila Lieu) to a resort in the Bavarian Alps.  Gretchen hates it and wants to go back to the U.S. so when the creepy resort owner (Dan Stevens) offers her a job at the front desk, she seizes the opportunity to earn some cash.  Weird shit starts happening immediately.  Guests keep puking in the lobby, a blonde woman chases Gretchen down the road, she keeps losing bits of time, and a cop (Jan Bluthardt) wants her help tracking a serial killer.

I love cryptids!  Especially niche ones.  The only similar type I've seen is a character from Seanan McGuire's InCryptid series also described as a cuckoo, but that was based on wasps.  Monster design was good, story was a little basic but elevated by great performances from Schafer, Stevens, and Lieu.  Stevens in particular shines when he gets to play Weird Little Guys.  He gets to be a total Freak in this and we are all the better for it.  The Moonraker outfits, the weird flute playing, the German accent!  Like the anti-David Attenborough.  

Also, love a multi-layered meaning in a title!  Cuckoo as slang for crazy, as referring to the actual bird, a brood parasite, and also the phrase cuckoo child, how Gretchen feels alienated in her father's new family.  It's thoughtful and well put together from writer/director Tilman Singer.  It's currently only available to rent but it's definitely worth a watch.

31 Days of 2024 Horror - Day 16 - Exhuma (2024)

  This is a really good year for ghost stories!  Content warning:  dead animals, blood, some gore, infant in distress

A wealthy Korean ex-pat (Kim Jae-cheol) believes his family line is cursed so he hires a shaman (Kim Go-eun) and her team to cremate his grandfather's remains.  The team geomancer (Choi Min-sik) is deeply disturbed by the gravesite, which is nameless and alone atop a mountain, and the more the team digs into both the literal and metaphorical dirt surrounding the family, the more danger they find.

I love seeing the intersection of folklore and funerary rites.  I think it's fascinating.  So this movie felt tailor-made for me and I cannot be reasonable in my enjoyment of it.  Also, it's always great to see Choi Min-sik in stuff.  

There is a lot of Korean history wrapped up in this that may or may not send you down a rabbit hole of research, depending on your familiarity.  I have a very shallow background in Asian history but I didn't find it hard to follow.  It just made me want to learn more and isn't that all you can ask for from your horror movies?

Anyway, it's so so good and I highly recommend checking it out.  It's streaming exclusively on Shudder but I'm planning on buying this one.

31 Days of 2024 Horror - Day 13 - Blackout (2023)

  Halloween checklist:  vampires?  Check.  Demons?  Check, check.  Werewolves?  Check!   Content warning:  gore, drunk driving

Charley (Alex Hurt) has a problem.  Three nights a month, he goes on a bender and can't remember anything the next day.  Also, his late father might have been involved in shady shit with the local developer (Marshall Bell) to poison the town, his relationship with said developer's daughter (Addison Timlin) is on the rocks, and to top it all off, all the nights he can't remember are correlated with a series of brutal murders.  

This movie understands that all werewolf stories* are ultimately sad.  They have been sad since 1941.  At their heart, they are about loss of control and humanity, guilt and personal and societal responsibility.  

There are a number of references to the original Wolf Man.  The town is called Talbot Falls, the practical werewolf prosthetics are updated versions of the original look, and there are a couple of references to Lon Chaney, Jr.  It also stars a famous actor's son.  Alex Hurt looks so much like his father it is unreal.  Kid's mom's genes never stood a chance.  Horror legend Barbara Crampton appears briefly as the lawyer, Kate.  

I'm going to stress again that this is not a movie you put on for a good time.  But it is a good movie.  And it's streaming for free on Tubi.

*This does not include book werewolves, whose defining characteristic is horny.  They can also be sad, but mostly just very horny.

31 Days of 2024 Horror - Day 10 - Oddity (2024)

  This was such a good movie!  Content warning:  gore

While renovating her new house, Dani (Carolyn Bracken) is violently murdered.  A year later, her blind twin sister, Darcy (Carolyn Bracken), shows up at the house determined to punish Dani's killer by any means necessary.  Dani's widower, Ted (Gwilym Lee), thinks Darcy is harmless if kind of a crackpot but soon can't explain the things she seems to know.

There are jump scares but no surprises.  The villain is exactly who you think it is and that could have made for a really boring movie but it's saved by being stunningly well-executed.  I think there's a particular dread? in the anticipation of something bad.  You see something, you think "that's about to do something bad," and then it does, and your thoughts and feelings are validated and reinforced.  Oddity has a cascading series of those moments, which feels vindicating especially if you've ever been told something is just your imagination playing tricks on you.

The characters have normal reactions to what's going on and that's always nice to see.  Performances are great across the board, but special shout-out to Tadhg Murphy as Ollin Boole.  I'll probably end up buying this one at some point.  It feels like the kind of movie that I will enjoy making other people watch and feeding on their reactions.

Currently streaming on Shudder.

31 Days of 2024 Horror - Day 5 - Abigail (2024)

  I love vampire movies!  Content warning:  heavy gore

Six strangers are recruited to kidnap a billionaire's 12-year-old daughter, Abigail (Alisha Weir).  The plan is to hole up in an isolated manor house and wait for the ransom demand to be paid.  But Abigail has some bad news for them.  Her father runs an underground crime empire and he's not about to pay to see her returned.  Also, she's not locked in with them; they are locked in with her.

This movie was such a fun time but I really wish the marketing hadn't spoiled Abigail's identity.  It would be so much more fun to anticipate, rather than know.  That being said, Weir is a tiny powerhouse in this role.  Also, shout out to Kevin Durand as the heavy.  He was hilarious.  

The idea of a bloodthirsty ballerina is such a Cabin in the Woods roulette wheel choice and I loved that.  I also enjoyed that nobody is afraid to say the word "vampire."  I hate when franchises use euphemisms like no one has ever heard of this kind of monster before.  

There is a lot of fake blood in this so if you are squeamish maybe give it a pass.  Otherwise, grab some friends, put on your sparkliest tutu, and settle in to enjoy some pint-sized ass-kicking.  It's not currently on streaming services unless you rent.  It was on Peacock for a while.  I bought it in anticipation of this month, so that's also an option.

31 Days of 2024 Horror - Day 2 - Late Night with the Devil (2024)

  I was very excited to get to watch this and it does not disappoint!  Content warning:  cancer, some gore

Late night host Jack Delroy (David Dastmalchian) has been riding Johnny Carson's coattails in the ratings for years.  Now, in 1977, with Night Owls on the brink of cancellation, Jack plans a desperate live Halloween episode featuring a renowned psychic (Fayssal Bazzi), a professional skeptic (Ian Bliss), and a parapsychologist (Laura Gordon) who claims to have rescued a patient (Ingrid Torelli) from a Satanic cult.

I had such a good time watching this!  Dastmalchian has become one of my favorite Weird Little Guy actors and it was so good to watch him play against type as Normal and Charismatic.  Plus, I am a total sucker for a good possession story.  

The film stays simple; doesn't try to get too flashy or bogged down in any more exposition than is necessary to set up.  Other than Dastmalchian*, the cast are professional character actors and their performances are great.  

*I actually have no idea if he counts as famous yet.  He's been in a bunch of really high-profile stuff but I don't know if regular people who don't watch 300 movies a year know who he is.

It's currently streaming on Shudder, which is available as part of AMC+ now?  I have it as an add-on to Amazon Prime but it doesn't matter.  Totally worth watching.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

  This movie is great because it suckers you in with Hot French Lesbians but then it's like, "Boom, women's rights and bodily autonomy, bitches!"  Content warning: abortion

Marianne (Noémie Merlant) is hired to paint a noblewoman's wedding portrait in secret because Héloïse (Adèle Haenel) objects to the match and won't pose for one.  She thinks Marianne is just a walking companion her mother (Valeria Golino) hired so she won't kill herself like her sister did.  But when Mom leaves to meet the fiancé, Héloïse and Marianne begin to bond in earnest.

There was so much hype about this movie in 2019.  Huge critical darling, plus the director caused some drama when she protested the inclusion of Roman Polanski at an awards show (too lazy to look up but I think it was the Césars) and called him a pedophile, and it was filled with Hot Girls doing Hot Girl Shit.  

Happy to say it lives up to all the praise.  Plus, every scene looks like its own painting.  Gorgeously shot, great lighting.  Merlant looks like an alabaster bust come to life.  The attention to detail is fantastic.  

This is a movie that celebrates being a woman with other women.  Yes, lesbians, but also just the unspoken help and support that comes from an innate understanding.  Fabulous.  Beautiful.  Can't praise it enough.  It's streaming on Hulu.

The Mummy (1999)

You can really tell that I was on drugs when I wrote this.  This came up as a choice for Movie Club and I was very excited to revisit it.  

Egyptologist Evelyn (Rachel Weizs) is excited to find that instead of his usual junk, her brother Jonathan (John Hammond) has discovered a key from the lost city of Hamunaptra supposedly from someone who had actually been there.  Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser), a French Foreign Legionnaire turned adventurer, reluctantly agrees to serve as guide back to Hamunaptra after Evie frees him from his prison sentence.  Unfortunately, Rick isn't the only one who knows the location and a race ensues between two rival treasure seeking groups.  In their zeal to be the first to unlock all the city's secrets, the groups accidentally awaken Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo), a former advisor to Pharaoh Seti I who was cursed into undeath as a mummy.  Now, Rick, Evie, and Jonathan must discover how to stop Imhotep before he fully regenerates and spreads across the earth as a plague upon mankind.

 Originally posted 16 Jan 11.    As you may have surmised from the "Personal Collection" tag, this is one of my favorite movies.  Also, if you're a regular reader (and I have no idea if you are or not since no one ever leaves me any comments {except Christy}), you'll note that this means I have made it approximately halfway through my movie collection.  For those just joining, I watch my movies in alphabetical order.  Commence your judging.

I've been down with some sort of pestilence the past week and self-medicating with cherry NyQuil when at home and DayQuil when at work.  I do not respond well to drugs, possibly because I am undead or a robot, and have spent half a fortnight feeling fuzzy but irritable, like a spiky cloud.

It was in this mindset that I watched The Mummy.  I could only stay awake for about 20 minutes at a time, which means it took about 5 days to watch all the way through, but that was okay since I live alone and shun all human contact.

I actually felt quite a bit in common with the eponymous character this time around.  I, too, was greatly in need of fluids, everyone around me referred to me as a walking plague, and it was exceedingly difficult to get laid.  I was not, however, able to turn water into blood, achieve mastery over the sands, or command legions of insects.  I will keep trying.

Except for the bug thing.  I hate bugs.

Batman Returns (1991)

  This remains one of the best Batman movies of all time.  Let's say it was a formative experience for Baby Me.  Content warning:  clowns, attempted infanticide

Oswald Cobblepot (Danny DeVito) rises from the sewers as The Penguin and Gotham  department store magnate Max Shreck (Christopher Walken) sees an opportunity to challenge the current mayor (Michael Murphy) for control of the city.  Cobblepot has his own agenda but is flattered by the attention from normal citizens.  Meanwhile, Shreck's overworked, underpaid secretary Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer) awakens from her attempted murder with a good deal fewer reservations than she had previously, unlocking a dangerous alter ego.  With multiple villains running around, how will Batman (Michael Keaton) prioritize?

It's funny how this could have been super-dated but instead turns out to be insanely relevant with billionaires attempting to buy elected officials in order to continue exploiting the environment and people to enrich themselves further in the stupidest possible way.  And committing violence against women.  Love this timeline.

Anyway, this movie is a stone-cold classic and a Christmas film!  Very jolly!  You should own it.  But it is streaming on (sigh) Max which is almost as good.

Deadpool and Wolverine (2024)

  If you have superhero or multiverse fatigue, you may want to sit this one out.  Content warning:  violence, some gore

Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) is summoned by the Time Variance Authority and informed that his universe is going to fade from existence because its Anchor Being - Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) - has died.  Wade refuses to accept this, steals a timepad, and begins searching for a free Wolverine from another timeline.  Paradox (Matthew Macfadyen), the TVA section head, doesn't want a new Anchor Being.  He wants to go back to the old days when divergent timelines were pruned wholesale, so he dumps Deadpool and Wolverine into the Void, the space outside of time to be eaten by Alioth or killed by Cassandra Nova (Emma Corrin), a variant of Charles Xavier's dead twin.  Deadpool has to put together a team of discarded variants (multiple spoiler-heavy cameos) and also win over a jaded, defeatist Wolverine in order to get back to and save his timeline.

It does not have the same emotional heft as Deadpool 2 but it was still very entertaining.  I laughed a lot!  And, blessedly, everyone in the theater behaved themselves like they were out in public!  It was a very good outside-my-house experience!  (Until we left the theater and discovered that someone in the food court of the mall had been shot.  *Insert America.gif here*)

This is not going to change anyone's mind about Deadpool.  If you're mad that it invalidates Logan, that is understandable.  But personally, I don't feel like anything has been taken away.  Logan was an incredible movie that remains an incredible movie, regardless of how many spin-offs, sequels, or cameos happen.  Logan still exists as a piece of media!  You are not required to believe in any other timelines for continuity.  And Deadpool 3 acknowledges that.  

It's still in theaters but I will be buying a physical copy when it becomes available.  

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

  I am actually out of town this weekend and have successfully managed to prep posts to tide you over until I return!  Like a real adult!  Content warning:  animal death (monkey), melting Nazis

Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr. (Harrison Ford) is constantly looking for funding to finance his archaeological expeditions, although his involve a great deal more (rightfully) angry natives and poison darts than camel-hair brushes and potsherds.  As luck would have it, Indy is approached by the deep pockets of Uncle Sam himself.  The U.S. government has gotten wind that Adolf Hitler is looking for the fabled Ark of the Covenant in the sands of Egypt and by God, they are going to get it first.  The foremost expert on the Ark is Indy's former mentor but he's missing so Indy tracks to Nepal to find his daughter, Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), who has an artifact to help locate the Ark.  Adventure ensues!  There's digging!  Sand!  Inexplicable snakes!  Nazis!  Lore!  More sand!

This movie is exactly like having adventures as a kid using all your toys.  "And now they're on a submarine!  Why?  Because I have a submarine!"  It is the best, especially if you can let go of trying to do a close read of it and just let it wash over you.  It is basically the Ur-text of an action movie, the blueprint against which all successors must be measured.  Does it hew a little closer to its 1930s mindset that is strictly comfortable in this century?  Sure.  But at its heart, it's not trying to belittle or hurt anyone.  It's here to entertain.  

You should own this but I'm pretty sure it's streaming on Disney+.

Bathory (2008)

I guess I must have had some hearing loss between now and 2011 because I had to get Tyler to download some subtitles.  I mostly remembered this movie but I didn't find it as compelling as my first watch.  It's still pretty good, though.  Originally posted 30 Jul 11.    This one has been in my Saved queue for over a year with no release date.  That is bullshit.  So I'm not going to say precisely how I got to see it.  Maybe it's easier to find in other countries.  It's worth checking out.

I was supposed to have been watching a Russian sci-fi movie called Stalker but the disc was cracked and wouldn't play past the halfway mark.  Now it's going back to the bottom of the queue.

I heard about this movie last year.  Film School Rejects was doing a Movie World Cup and this was the submission for Slovakia.  Countess Bathory was one of my favorite historical figures so into the list it went even though the movie didn't make it far at all (got beat by LotR:  Return of the King).

The whole movie is in English, which I think is cheating, but whatever.  I know there are a lot of you out there who dislike reading a movie.  The costumes and sets are gorgeous and overall, the production is amazing.

There aren't a lot of special effects so it never devolves into campy creature-feature schlock.  I thought everyone involved with the movie did a great job, especially Anna Friel as the title character. 

Countess Bathory was the wealthiest landowner in 16th century Hungary, which was at war with the Ottoman Empire and also had some internal struggles between the Protestant Hungarian nobles and the Catholic Hapsburgs.  While her husband, Ferenc, is off fighting, Erzsebet is home seeing to the health and disposition of the serfs and running 17 castles.  As a present, her husband sends her a captured Milanese painter as a spoil of war.  His name is Caravaggio.  She and the painter strike up a friendship, sparking rumors of an affair.

The gossip only grows worse from there, fueled by a greedy neighboring landowner named Thurzo who has always wanted a piece of the Countess.  After being shut out completely, Thurzo starts building a case of withcraft against her, alleging that she bathes in the blood of virgins to retain her youth and beauty. 

The results of this smear campaign are pretty much the only reason anyone now remembers her at all.  Whether or not she actually killed people is moot at this point.

The movie paints a very sympathetic picture of a strong-willed, intelligent woman, nonetheless with a violent temper, who is being railroaded out of her money and property.  An interesting take on the legend, to be sure.

Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)

  This was the other pick for last week's Movie Club but I figured I had posted enough last week and didn't want to oversaturate.  Content warning:  child death

A gang targets a man (Martin West) in retaliation for killing one of their men and chases him to a police precinct that is being closed.  The precinct retains a skeleton crew, including Lieutenant Ethan Bishop (Austin Stoker), and a handful of prisoners on a medical stop during transport.  As the siege continues, the line between cops and criminals becomes less important than the one between alive and dead.  

I'm glad I saw this after I saw the remake because the 2005 version would never have held up the other way around.  The original is super low-budget, gritty, and doesn't have a single polished facet.  It is raw, undiluted genius from John Carpenter.  

There's obviously a huge influence from Night of the Living Dead and you can see the bones of what would become Halloween in some of the shot compositions, music, and editing, but don't think of this as a practice run.  It's solid on its own merits.  It's just that Carpenter had so many hits in such a short time, this was bound to get overlooked.  Consider this your gentle push to check it out if you haven't.  

It's streaming on Criterion Channel, Peacock, Tubi, Freevee, and Crackle so there's no excuse.

Tombstone (1993)

Somehow there are still people who have never seen this.  Several in my Movie Club, even!  Obviously, being the humanitarian that I am, I had to fix that.  

Doc Holliday and Mad Martigan are the two hottest roles Val Kilmer ever took.  Do not argue; I will fight you.  The showdown between him and Ringo is the highlight of the film.  Seconded by every scene with Kurt Russell threatening people.  I love this movie so much *sob*.  Originally posted 28 Jan 12.    I shouldn't even have to describe this movie.  I should just be able to put up the poster and have everyone recognize it as badass.  But there are still people who have never seen this movie.  Up until last night, Rob was one of them.  I can't say he was anxious to watch it since he's pathologically afraid of trying new things but I persevered.  He liked it.  Not as much as I thought he should have, but he was preoccupied with thoughts of Star Wars:  The Old Republic.  What can I do?

This tells the (highly embellished) story of the shootout at the OK Corral but starts months before that with the arrival of the Earp brothers and their wives to Tombstone, Arizona, a silver boomtown.  Middle brother Wyatt (Kurt Russell) had made a name for himself as a lawman in Kansas but retired and moved out west with his family to settle down and make money.  Not long after he arrives in Tombstone, he ousts a foul-mouthed card dealer (Billy Bob Thornton) from The Oriental saloon and takes over, beginning a lucrative job and running into his old friend Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer).  But things are not all wine and roses.  The town is under the thumb of The Cowboys, a mangy group of psychopaths led by Curly Bill (Powers Boothe).  After the US Marshal in town is shot, Wyatt's brother Virgil (Sam Elliott) steps up to take his place, with all three Earps earning the enmity of The Cowboys. The movie spirals into more and more bloodshed as grudges are settled and made anew.

There are so many stars in this movie it's ridiculous.  Everybody from Michael Biehn to Billy Zane.  I can only imagine how crazy casting must have been.  Still, it is one of the absolute best Westerns of all time.