Scream-O-Rama 2023 Day 28: The Leftovers season 1 (2014)

  Is this horror?  Is it just sci-fi?  I don't know, but I do know it sucked.  Content warning:  blood, dead animals (deer, dogs), burned bodies, some gore

Three years after a global event that saw the disappearance of 2% of the population, a small New York town struggles to find meaning.

I gave this three episodes but I just couldn't finish it.  I didn't care about any of the characters, their motivations were unfathomable to me, and I was bored when I wasn't outright disgusted.  Maybe slow-burn mystery-box shows are your thing.  If so, all three seasons are streaming on (sigh) Max.  I couldn't get into it.

Scream-O-Rama 2023 Day 24: The Terror season 1 (2018)

  I tried to watch this last year but I ran out of time.  Content warning:  gore, body horror, dead animals, cannibalism

In 1843, two ships of Her Majesty's Royal Navy, Erebus and Terror, disembarked on a journey to find the Northwest Passage through the Arctic and promptly disappeared.  Aboard the ships, a combination of bad luck and hubristic decision-making sees them encased in pack ice and hunted relentlessly by an Inuk monster of legend, the Tuunbaq.  Captain Crozier (Jared Harris) of the Terror urges that they should flee south as soon as possible, having survived an Antarctic expedition previously, but Captain Franklin (Ciaran Hinds) will not have it, until of course, it's far too late.

If you're feeling a little too warm and cozy, throw this on for a weekend.  It doesn't emphasize the horror the way a movie would; at ten episodes, it has time to focus on the characters, to really make you feel for these men and how they suffered.  And oh boy, do they.  By episode 10, you'll know more about scurvy than you ever wanted.  It used to be on Hulu but they took it off.  You might have to search for a free copy, but it's worth a rental if you're going to binge it. 

For added context, I also suggest the book The Wolf in the Whale by Jordanna Max Brodsky.  It features an Inuk protagonist and goes much more into depth about their culture.  It filled a lot of gaps for me while watching this.

Scream-O-Rama 2023 Day 5: True Blood season 5

   Is this the season that's finally shitty enough to make me stop my absurd need for completion?  Nope!  Content warning:  gore

Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) continues to deal with the fallout that is her life and learns more about her Fae heritage.  Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) are arrested by the Authority, a vampire ruling council, and tasked with finding Russell Edgington (Denis O'Hare) or be killed themselves, only to discover they are actually pawns within a religious schism.  Meanwhile, back in Bon Temps, Jason (Ryan Kwanten), Hoyt (Jim Parrack), and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) try to navigate their broken relationships with each other, a new hate group is targeting shifters, and Terry's (Todd Lowe) past from Iraq catches up with him.

This show remains the junk food of vampire TV.  It is so bad, but when you are in the mood, just satisfying enough to make you hate yourself later.  This is probably the most disconnected season and felt the furthest removed from its beginning.  Almost nothing revolved around Sookie's magical faerie vagina and which buff super-dude gets to have it.  That's kind of an improvement, if it wasn't immediately replaced by Hot Vampire Ladies in Your Area.  It was like someone at HBO was going to die if there wasn't a naked woman on screen every 10 minutes per episode.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-nudity but this show has always had a problem with how Male Gaze-focused it is.  At least they finally let Rutina Wesley be hot instead of constantly dialing her down.

The entire series is streaming on (sigh) Max.  This was a massively popular show a decade ago.

It's Been a While So Have Some TV

I've been watching a lot of TV recently, so I thought I'd do a recap because it's been a while and I'm trying to get ready for 31 Days of Horror which is kicking off in about a week.

I tried to watch The Sopranos, consistently rated one of the best shows ever made, and I just couldn't get into it.  I just didn't care about any of the characters and I was annoyed by the whole thing.  A mobster reluctantly sees a therapist in order to work out the problems in his life.  Gave it three episodes and it just wasn't for me.  It's streaming on (sigh) Max.

I finally got around to watching season 3 of Riverdale and it was exactly the kind of trashy fun I was looking for.  Season 1 was a murder mystery, season 2 was a serial killer, so to keep upping the ante, season 3 features an evil cult and references the Satanic Panic, Dungeons & Dragons, Fight Club, and Silence of the Lambs.  I love that this show is unabashedly wearing its heart on its sleeve for the things it likes.  It's streaming on Netflix.

The Pretender is one of those very rare shows I wouldn't actually mind seeing rebooted.  It was made in the 90s and the plot is that a super-secret private organization has been training Very Special Children to model and predict events until adult Jarod (Michael T. Weiss) runs away and uses his chameleon-like abilities to right wrongs while trying to find information on his birth family.   The parallels to autism are very in-front and I like that his superpower is basically empathy.  It's streaming on Amazon Prime.

Tyler and I watched season 1 of The Diplomat and I fucking loved that show.  I'm super excited it's getting a second season, although in these uncertain times, that means nothing until it's actively in front of my eyeballs.  A career diplomat is prepared to receive an assignment to Afghanistan but is shocked to find herself transferred to the UK.  It's a wildly different posting that she is determined not to turn into a fluff piece, unaware she's being groomed for something larger.  It's streaming on Netflix.

Once we finished that, we started season one of The Bear on Hulu.  We're only about four episodes in but we like it so far.  A highly-acclaimed fine dining chef moves to Chicago to take over the sandwich shop bequeathed him by his dead brother and finds himself embroiled in all kinds of emotional entanglements as he tries to bring order and standards to the shop.

Tyler is a big Star Trek (star anything, really) fan and Star Trek: Strange New Worlds came to us very highly recommended by our friends, the Ballards, so I (a casual watcher at best) strapped in.  I was very pleasantly surprised by how entertained I was, and we blew through seasons 1 and 2 before I even knew it.  I loved the musical episode so much.  La'an Noonien-Singh is my favorite and I would die for her.  The storybook episode?  My heart.  It's streaming on Paramount+.

On my own, I tried to watch Nip/Tuck because it was again highly recommended to me by my cousin, Christy.  I made it through three episodes but I could not get into it.  The misogyny was so built-in that I couldn't take it.  Two Miami plastic surgeons deal with professional and personal hijinks while trying to build their practice and manage their personal ethics.  It's streaming on Hulu.

I'm currently watching Secret Diary of a Call Girl season 2 on Tubi.  The video quality is bad -- it's extremely fuzzy -- but after a few minutes, I can just ignore it.  Independent escort Belle (Billie Piper) navigates managing her clients while mentoring a young protégée and trying to find a work/life balance between her persona and her real self.

And lastly, Tyler and I have been watching Ahsoka over on Disney+ (see, I told you about the star thing).  He watched Star Wars Rebels and has a much deeper knowledge of what the hell is going on between the characters but even as a neophyte, I found it easy enough to follow.  Ronin Jedi Ahsoka Tano (Rosario Dawson), former padawan to Annikin Skywalker, is trying to stop the Empire from regaining control of the universe and bringing back Grand Admiral Thrawn (Lars Mikkelsen), who has been exiled to an unknown location.

So you can see that I've been very busy sitting on my ass in front of my TV.  All for you, readers.

NCIS: Westeros

 Okay, no, but can you imagine a police procedural in Game of Thrones?  Madness.

Anyway, my quest to watch ancient TV continues through season six of the aforementioned, widely considered to be the Last Good Season before the abrupt drop in quality.  I have to say, I found it kind of a slog to get through.  Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is up and down in Mereen, Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) is offered a new Hand, somebody finally kills Ramsey Bolton (Iwan Rheon), and Arya (Maisie Williams) sheds faces like she's wanted for tax evasion.  A lot of stuff happens but I found it really hard to care about any of it.  This will not stop me from watching the rest of it eventually.  Save your breath warning me off.  I know the last two seasons suck.  I'm going to watch them anyway.  Game of Thrones is streaming on HBO Max.

I have also just finished watching season three of NCIS, a piece of copaganda now running into its 19th year.  I'm just praying the quality goes up at some point in its near two decades worth of episodes.  This season introduces Ziva David (Cote de Pablo), an Israeli operative working as a liaison officer.  She is replacing Kate Todd (Sasha Alexander), a move that might have meant more if anybody had bothered fleshing out either one of their characters beyond "brunette says flirty banter".  Yeesh.  

The only reason I even started watching this show was because my brother thinks Ziva reminds him of me.  Which is not the worst thing I've ever heard.  But it does make me wish her character gets some improvement in the next season.  She's on the show for 194 episodes so maybe?  Somewhere in there?  A third dimension?  NCIS is streaming on Paramount+.

Next up is season three (?) of Supergirl, so don't get your hopes up I'll watch anything more recent than 2017 for a while.

Scare-a-Thon 2021 Day 31: Criminal Minds s5 (2009)

  We did it!  We made it to Halloween!  Now it's just a fast, dark slide into winter.  

The Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI is busy chasing serial killers in this fifth season.  The Big Bad for about half of it is George Foyet, AKA The Reaper (C. Thomas Howell), a character introduced in season 4 as a nemesis to Agent Aaron Hotchner (Thomas Gibson).  This season also introduced a backdoor pilot for a spinoff series, Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior, starring Forrest Whitaker that only lasted one season.  My girl Penelope Garcia (Kirsten Vangsness) takes a larger role and gets a spiffy red dye job, while Agent Derek Morgan (Shemar Moore) takes control of the team for a little bit.  

Notable guest stars include Gavin Rossdale, Sean Patrick Flanery, William Sadler, Beth Grant, Jonathan Frakes, John Pyper Ferguson, and Tim Curry.  

This is a comfort show for me in a lot of ways.  The Monster of the Week format is predictable, therefore soothing, the gore and violence are mostly implied (it's a network TV show, so there's a lot of shit they just can't show but they toe that line as much as possible), and the characters are familiar.  It did take me about a week to watch all 23 episodes but I made it in time, and that's all that counts.  It's currently streaming on Paramount+, Netflix, and Hulu.

Well, that wraps up my month-long journey into horror.  Adding TV was somewhat more stressful, just because it takes a lot longer to watch, but I would probably do it again.  Tomorrow we go back to our regularly scheduled nonsense and postings on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (when I can, sometimes I forget).

Scare-a-Thon Day 22: Santa Clarita Diet season 2 (2018)

  I love this show.  Unlike some other zombie shows I could name, Santa Clarita is bright, fun, and colorful.  

Sheila (Drew Barrymore) and Joel (Timothy Olyphant) have weathered Sheila's turn to the undead and managed to create the serum that stops her from deteriorating.  All is not roses, however, as the string of murders Sheila is forced into for sustenance are bringing the cops closer and closer to their trail, a pair of professional rivals (Joel McHale and Maggie Lawson) threaten to take their realty listings, and their daughter Abby (Liv Hewson) roasts them constantly.  Oh, and Sheila's not the only zombie game in town. Can Sheila and Joel discover what's behind the zombie outbreak, stop those bitches Chris and Christa from getting their development deal, and be good parents/people?  After all, killing Nazis is practically community service, right?

This is a super quick watch, only ten episodes at a half hour each.  It's funny, bloody, heartwarming (and eating!) with one of the most perfect casts in television.  It's streaming through Netflix.

Scare-a-Thon 2021 Day 20: The Walking Dead season 4 (2013)

  Ah, The Walking Dead.  The show that bravely continues to ask "what if the worst people you know were the only survivors of an apocalypse?"  I actually started watching this between Maggie and It Follows and I had all sorts of jokes about zombies ganging up on you but it took so long to get through the season, I had to stop for a bit and watch movies instead.

Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) has made a home for himself and a thriving community for people in the prison of season 3 and hopes to basically retire from leadership so he can focus on raising crops and attaining a small measure of peace.  A virulent strain of flu and the return of an old enemy put paid to that idea and soon the full cast is split into twos and threes, each group trying to make their way to a mysterious beacon called Terminus.

The first half of the season was fine but as soon as they brought back The Governor (David Morrissey) I lost all interest.  The second half I just started fast forwarding through anything I found boring.  There are a lot of speeches in this show and a lot of people staring meaningfully at each other.  I just find it harder and harder to care about any of the characters.  If I want to see a bunch of depressed, traumatized people wracked with survivor's guilt, I could just go to the VFW.  

It's currently streaming on Netflix.

Scare-a-Thon 2021 Day 12: The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

  I was sleeping on this one.  I really thought it couldn't live up to the hype so I just dumped it into my queue.  Now I'm invested.

The Crain family bought Hill House as a fixer-upper, a project to flip in a summer to make a tidy profit and build their forever house.  The house had other ideas.  Twenty years later, the survivors have found various ways to cope, or not.  Steven (Michiel Huisman) wrote a "fictionalized" account and made an assload of money writing a series of ghost stories he doesn't believe in, Shirley (Elizabeth Reaser) runs a funeral home, Theo (Kate Siegel) is a child psychologist, Luke (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) is a heroin addict, and Nellie (Victoria Pedretti) is desperately trying to keep her family from fracturing even further.  Another tragedy brings them back to face the house and their own demons once more.

Each episode focuses on one member of the Crain family, exploring the same events through different perspectives, unraveling the trauma over a slow burn of ten episodes total.  It is a masterclass in how to do horror.  Every positive thing critics said about it is absolutely true.  The cast is spectacular, the writing is top-notch, and the cinematography is *chef's kiss*.

I have one quibble.  And it's not even specific to this show but a trend I've noticed over a couple of horror movies.  It is kind of spoiler-y so I'm going to put it in white just because if you are not bothered by this, I don't want it to ruin the whole show for you.

**SPOILER-ISH TALK FOLLOWS**  Okay, so there is a thing recently where ghosts aren't remnants of the past but premonitions of a future.  I don't like that and here's why:  it's too literary.  It feels like the ultimate foreshadowing, like an English teacher's assignment, too neat, too pat.  In that sense, it's almost smug.  Also, it raises discussion of predetermination and fate versus free will, which again feels pretentious and smug.  It's that kind of philosophical circle jerk every asshole brings up at least once in college.  Most damning, it echoes Greek tragedy.  The defining feature of Greek tragedy is that the protagonist knows exactly what their downfall is and does nothing to change it, or can't do anything to change it.  It's already decided.  Which is both nihilistic and smug.  So much smugness.  **END SPOILER-Y RANT**

That one tiny issue aside, this was an excellent show from start to finish and well worth watching.  It's streaming on Netflix.

 

Scare-a-Thon 2021 Day 10: Teen Wolf season 1 (2011)

  It's werewolves so it counts, even if it is more of a Riverdale/Vampire Diaries teen show.  

Scott (Tyler Posey) is just an average high schooler when he is bitten in the woods one night.  He turns into a werewolf, becomes a lacrosse star, and catches the eye of the hot new girl, Allison (Crystal Reed).  All good.  Except Allison's parents are werewolf hunters and the werewolf that bit him is a killer on a path of revenge.  Scott has to navigate his interpersonal relationships with his mom (Melissa Ponzio), his best friend (Dylan O'Brien), and the antagonistic captain of the lacrosse team (Colton Haynes), as well as other werewolf Derek Hale (Tyler Hoechlin) whose motives remain inscrutable, while not getting caught by the cops, or killed by hunters or werewolves.  And he's failing chemistry.

This is very much a teen show.  Your mileage will vary based on your tolerance for such but I found it surprisingly palatable.  O'Brien's fast-talking best friend is easily the most entertaining character, with Holland Roden's Lydia a close second.  There are a lot of half-naked dudes in this show.  Posey especially seems to never be within reach of a shirt.  All well and good, except they are all supposed to be teenagers so it's a little squicky.  Except for Hoechlin who is very age-appropriate eye candy.

All six seasons are currently available on Hulu but I'm stopping at one.  Got over half a month left to go, after all.

Scare-a-Thon 2021 Day 6: Stranger Things season 3 (2019)

  Finally caught up on Stranger Things, and only two years late!  Of course, there's no telling when I'll get to season 4 but that's a different story.

It's 4th of July weekend in Hawkins, Indiana and a lot has happened to the gang.  Mike (Finn Wolfhard) and Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown) are an item, as well as Lucas (Caleb McLaughlin) and Max (Sadie Sink), leaving Will (Noah Schnapp) feeling left out.  Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo) has his friendship with Steve Harrington (Joe Keery) to fall back on, while Nancy (Natalia Dyer) and Jonathan (Charlie Heaton) intern at the local paper.  It seems like just a summer of growing up and moving on, but of course it isn't.  An accident sees Max's brother Billy (Dacre Montgomery) become a host for the Mind Flayer, trapped on this plane after Eleven closed the gate in season 2.  It quietly begins building an army of hosts to take down Eleven.  Joyce (Winona Ryder) and Hopper (David Harbour) are investigating why all her magnets became demagnitized, which leads them down a rabbit hole of Russian invasion.  An invasion already discovered by Steve, Dustin, and co-worker Robin (Maya Hawke) at the new mall, which is concealing a massive facility dedicating to re-opening the dimensional gate.  The bonds of friendship and love will be sorely tested in this new battle against the otherworldly.

Not only is this a good show on its own merits, it's also filled with Easter Eggs for other 80s movies like The Terminator, Aliens, Jaws, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, a little True Lies, a little Jurassic Park, Ghostbusters 2, and probably a lot of others.  I'm pretty sure the hospital logo is the exact same as Halloween 2's Haddonfield Memorial Hospital, but that may be just because I've seen it so recently.  Anyway, season 4 is supposed to be coming out in 2022 so if you need to catch up, you have time.  The seasons are only eight episodes each, so if you haven't started, you have time.  It's currently streaming on Netflix.

Scare-a-Thon 2021 Day 5: American Horror Story: Coven (2013)

 Yes, I'm including TV this year.  There are a ton of horror shows and frankly, I'd never get to any of them if I just waited.  Unfortunately, this one sucked.

Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) is a young girl who's just learned she comes from a line of witches.  She is packed off to an exclusive boarding school in New Orleans for other witches, run by Cordelia Fox (Sarah Paulson).  Delia's mother, Fiona (Jessica Lange), is the Witch Supreme, but despairs over her own mortality until she hears about Madame LaLaurie (Kathy Bates), a woman cursed with everlasting life as a punishment for her cruelty.  Fiona decides to track down Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett), who laid down the curse, and cajole/threaten/bribe/bully her into putting it on Fiona.

Honestly, I only made it two episodes before giving up.  I've now tried to watch three seasons of this anthology and I couldn't make it to episode three on any of them.  I just don't get the point of this kitchen sink approach to storytelling.  It's not shocking or horrifying.  There's no humor.  I was incredibly bored and I hated all of the characters.  Also, the first episode centers on a gang rape, which is unnecessary and gross.  

For some ungodly reason, this is streaming on Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime.  I don't get the appeal.

A TV Post

 It's been a minute since I updated which TV shows are worth watching.   

Obviously, I'm watching Loki.  There's only been one episode so far but after WandaVision and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, I am committed.  Fortunately, this looks to be more of the same Marvel magic that has sustained through the last decade.  The odds are increasingly against them but I for one will keep rooting for them to succeed.  Currently on Disney+.

  Watched the first two episodes of Shadow & Bone, the splashy Netflix adaptation of a YA book series by Leigh Bardugo.  It's a world divided by a giant rift of darkness called the Fold and only the coming of a near mythical Sun Summoner can destroy it.  Wouldn't you know, there's a plucky mapmaker named Alina who's just come into her power.  The story could go either way, depending on how hard they lean in on the YA elements for me, but I am all in on the aesthetic.  The costumes, the sets, the magic.  *chef's kiss*  This might hold me over until The Witcher comes back.

  I did watch six episodes of Bridgerton, sort of the marzipan to S&B's devil's food.  I had read the first book in the series and wasn't impressed, and the show did nothing to improve that opinion.  Too much talking by too many characters that I couldn't care about if you paid me.  But excellent costumes and music choices.  Currently on Netflix.

I'm re-watching season one of Ash vs. Evil Dead and burning it to my hard drive.  

  I got a cancelled-too-soon British series from Netflix called Jekyll.  It stars James Nesbitt as a descendent of the infamous Jekyll, complete with his own Hyde.  Halfway through that and it's fantastic.

Also watching season 2 of Grimm, my cop show but make it monsters.  It was off to a slow start but I'm on episode six now and it's starting to pick back up.  Currently on Amazon Prime.

And, because I found the pandemic to be very stressful, I am watching the fourth cycle of America's Next Top Model as my Smooth Brain, No Thoughts show.  I had already burned through two seasons of Blown Away, two seasons of Glow Up, and what I had left on Repair Shop.  ANTM is streaming all 22 seasons (!) on Hulu.

So that's the state of my TV watching.  Back to regular scheduling on Saturday.

TV TV TV

 Still trying to get through some TV.  I'm about 2/3 through season 2 of Hannibal on Netflix.  I had always heard about the slash fiction concerning Hannibal Lector and Will Graham and I thought it was just the Internet being horny, as usual.  But season 2 is waaaaaaay more homoerotic than season 1 so now I see where they're coming from.  

Also about 2/3 of the way through season 1 of Fargo.  I was steaming along through the first eight episodes but hit a wall at episode nine.  I don't know if it's the year time jump or if I thought the season was over at eight or what but I'm having a hard time pushing on.  I really like the show so I'm going to stick with it, just having a sticky spell.

I got through another disc of season 7 of Arrow.  Hopefully, it will pick up a little now that the Diaz storyline is over.  I was so so so sick of it in season 6 and it has really quelled my enjoyment of this show. Pretty much the only saving grace so far has been the (out-of-context) Elseworlds crossover episode.

Only one disc left for Birds of Prey and every episode just makes me mourn for what could have been.  

And I got through the 3rd season of Agents of SHIELD.  Next up is the Ghost Rider/LMD season, one of my favorites, so I'm looking forward to that.

In personal news, I spent all weekend painting my new living room.  Next week we fully move into the new place so don't expect to see a lot of posts between now and then, although I will try my damnedest.

Can I Offer You Some TV in These Trying Times?

This blog has been a shitshow recently.  I'm aware.  I've found it difficult to use my normal process in these extraordinary times.  All the things on my TBW list are depressing Oscar nominees for the past ten years, grimdark prestige TV dramas, or humanitarian crisis documentaries.  I honestly didn't know I was going to be so badly affected but I have fucking struggled to get through them.  Even horror movies!  My life blood!  I got through an hour and a half of The Last House on the Left and turned it off.

So what have I been watching?

Crazy Delicious on Netflix.  It is bright, colorful, and British that almost soothes the ache of no new GBBO episodes.  But binge carefully.  There are only six episodes and they go by like a snap.

Tried to watch The Mentalist on Amazon.  Maybe in happier times I could have appreciated this for a fun, brainless watch-while-scrolling-on-my-phone show but I just couldn't get settled with it.  I think it was trying to be a darker, more serious Psych and it just didn't work for me.

Repair Shop is great if you need to cry at every episode watching people get cherished heirlooms repaired by master craftsmen with charming accents.  Watch out for s2 ep1 though.  It suckers you in with a sweet little old lady and then hits you with concentration camp survivor's story.  On Netflix.

Zumbo's Just Desserts.  I just tried the first episode last night while I was searching for something similar to Crazy Delicious.  It is an Australian dessert competition and it's more closely aligned to American shows than GBBO.  The judges are a little bitchier, freer with a backhanded compliment than their British counterparts.  Maybe you like that, though.

Hannibal is now on Netflix and I've been rewatching parts of s1 to refresh before I jump into s2.  Got bogged down by ep 10, though, so it's taking a bit.

Same with Agents of SHIELD.  I got through s2 again but I feel like it's taking too long.

Season 7 of Arrow is a masochistic slog at this point.

Tyler and I were watching Supergirl but got to the crossover with the Arrowverse and switched to The Flash to catch up.  We got up to season 3 of Flash but it has also bogged down because Barry is being an idiot and that annoys the shit out of Tyler.

Legends of Tomorrow killed off one of our favorite characters and we're mad at it.

Watched two episodes of Veep but I don't have the attention span for more at the moment.  It is funny, though.

That's all I can think of at the moment.  See, it's not that I'm not watching stuff.  It's just that I haven't finished anything.  I keep bouncing from thing to thing hoping for that one hit of dopamine but I haven't found it yet.  When I do, I'll let you know.

Good Omens (2019)

  Okay, I'm cheating a little bit with this one because it's a limited TV series and not a movie.  But I went on an impromptu trip to the beach yesterday and didn't post anything and I don't have anything in draft either so it's this or nothing.

Armageddon is happening.  The Antichrist (Sam Taylor Buck) has been born and the forces of Heaven and Hell are readying for the final battle.  Except things have slightly gone wrong.  Instead of being switched with the just-born child of the American ambassador (Nick Offerman), the Antichrist has been given to an unassuming couple in Tadfield, England.  And the infernal and celestial representatives on Earth, Crowley (David Tennant) and Aziraphale (Michael Sheen), respectively, maybe have their own agendas with not wanting the Earth to be destroyed in a giant pissing match.  Can these two manage to transcend their jingoistic compatriots and call off the end of the world?  Maybe!

So, this is a six-episode limited series streaming on Amazon Prime and I unequivocally loved it.  I read the book (by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaimon, two great tastes that taste great together) so many times I wore out my copy and had to buy another.  One of only three books I can say that about.  (The other two are Maskerade by Terry Pratchett and White Fang by Jack London.)  The series is a loving homage and one of the very few adaptations to truly nail it by being both true to the source and expanding on it at the same time.  I wanted to cry actual, genuine tears because I loved it so much.  And then read the book again.

It's six hours of your time.  Less than a drive from Maryland to the Outer Banks.  Do it.

At Eternity's Gate (2018)

  Maybe it's just seeing this so soon after Loving Vincent, but I really didn't need another movie about Van Gogh's last days.

Vincent Van Gogh (Willem Dafoe) struggles to find peace so he can paint, moving from Paris to Arles in search of the perfect place.  His mental health issues and inability to relate to the villagers cause him to be ostracized, further exacerbating his mental decline.

Dafoe is excellent, as always, but this movie really has no reason to exist.  It's not compelling, it's not presenting any new information, or new angles on existing information.  It's fine enough but there are better films about Van Gogh out there.  I'm surprised it was nominated for anything but if it had to be, Dafoe performance is the standout.  Otherwise, this movie is a hard pass.

Recap of the 91st Oscars (2019)

There was a lot of weirdness with the Oscars this year, but it's okay if you don't remember how much weirdness because 2018 was 4000 years long.  Anyway, back in August, the Academy was like "how about a Popular Movie category?" and the world said No in no uncertain terms.  So they walked that back.  Then there was the whole round-the-mulberry-bush with a host or no host or a surprise host or maybe just let the Avengers do it.  Then there was the Nick Vallelonga Twitter thing, the Peter-Farrelly-shows-his-dick-to-unwitting-people thing, and the Bryan Singer thing.  Then the Academy said "We're going to cut some categories because nobody cares about cinematography or animated short films" and the world said No, once again, and they had to walk that back.

So yeah.  Lots of weirdness.

Honestly, I barely noticed them not having a host.  They had a monologue from Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Maya Rudolph and if someone had told me later that those three ladies were credited as hosts I would have believed it.  Otherwise, it was the same 400 people presenting awards and no filler bullshit in the form of audience participation or lame skits.

In that spirit, here are the winners of the night.

Best Supporting Actress went to Regina King for If Beale Street Could Talk.  Her speech wasn't as good as the one from the Golden Globes but she looked phenomenal.

Best Documentary Feature went to Free Solo.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling went to Vice.

Best Costumes went to Ruth E. Carter for Black Panther.  She is the first black woman to win in this category.

Best Cinematography went to Alfonso Cuarón for Roma as it should have.

Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing went to Bohemian Rhapsody which I have serious disagreements with and were my first upsets for the night.

Best Foreign Language Film went to Roma.

Best Film Editing went to Bohemian Rhapsody, which is slightly more justifiable than the sound editing/mixing but not by much.

Best Supporting Actor went to Mahershala Ali for Green Book, which I could have argued but I think he was the only person in that movie who deserved recognition.

Best Animated Feature went deservedly to Spider-Man:  Into the Spider-Verse.

Best Animated Short went to Bao.  Pixar remains unchallenged.

Best Documentary Short went to Period.  End of Sentence.

Best Visual Effects went to First Man.  Not a consolation prize, but it really should have won for Sound Editing and Mixing.

Best Live Action Short went to Skin.

Best Original Screenplay went to Green Book, the second big WTF moment of the night.

Best Adapted Screenplay went to BlacKkKlansman.  The difference between Samuel L. Jackson's reaction while presenting these two awards was very marked.

Best Original Score went to Black Panther.

Best Original Song went to A Star is Born, to the surprise of no one.

Best Actor went to Rami Malek for Bohemian Rhapsody.  Again, this wasn't so much a surprise as it was just kind of unwelcome for people.  I did think it was funny that absolutely no one said the words "Bryan Singer" all night.  They just accepted their awards, thanked Queen, and basically pretended it never had a director at all.

Best Actress went to Olivia Coleman for The Favourite, which was a shock to her even if it wasn't to anyone else.  Her speech was rambling, hilarious, and filled with sound effects.

Best Director went to Alfonso Cuarón for Roma.

And then Green Book won Best Picture and the Oscars lost a little more relevancy.

The Wife (2018)

Nominated for Best Actress   This speaks to a very particular experience and it's not one that will resonate with everyone.  It's definitely a film geared towards women, but specifically older women and somehow feels timely and yet also mired in the past.

Joe Castleman (Jonathan Pryce) is a bestselling novelist with a long career when he is notified that he will receive the Nobel Prize for Literature in Stockholm, Sweden.  His wife, Joan (Glenn Close), is proud but also bittersweet as she reflects on all the moments that led them to that point.  The ceremony is further complicated by their son David's (Max Irons) inferiority complex and a sly reporter (Christian Slater) stirring up drama.

This is set in the 90s and that's probably the most recent time period it could have been set to depict the circumstances.  That's both encouraging and depressing.  (I'm trying to not spoil the big reveal of the movie, even though it's pretty obvious once you think about it, so if this seems a little vague that's why.)  Encouraging because girls and women who are going to college and looking at jobs are much more aware of their own value and depressing because it has taken this long to get to that point.

Glenn Close is excellent in this role but I do feel like I need to highlight Annie Starke who played Joan in the flashbacks.  She only has five credits on IMDb and three of those have been alongside Glenn Close so her mimicry has got to be on point at this stage.  I think she's an up-and-comer, especially after this exposure.  

2019 Golden Globes Recap

This was supposed to go up yesterday but I was so tired I went immediately to sleep after work so you get a bonus/make-up post today!

The 76th Golden Globes ceremony was on Sunday night and was hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh.  I've never been a fan of Samberg nor have I seen Oh in many things so both hosts were relatively new to me.  I thought they had really good energy even when some of the jokes didn't land.  The ones that did were funny and I think they outnumbered the flops so we're going to call it a success.

Best Actor in a TV series, Musical or Comedy went to Michael Douglas in The Kominsky Method as the first award of the night.  Loved how he mentioned his 102-year-old father as if we wouldn't recognize his name outside of being a Hollywood legacy.  It was presented by Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga, two of the big frontrunners for awards themselves, who looked, respectively, like a waiter and the Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2.  I love Gaga but the matching hair with the giant poofy dress was a no for me.

First (and most welcome) surprise winner of the night was Spider-Man:  Into the Spider-Verse winning Best Animated Feature.  Here's hoping it can continue that momentum all the way to upsetting the Pixar stranglehold on the Academy Awards.

Best Actor in a TV series, Drama went to Richard Madden for Bodyguard.  I haven't seen it but Tyler said it was pretty good.

Best TV series, Drama went to The Americans.  Apparently it's a big deal because they had been snubbed in previous years and this was their final season.  Don't know but Keri Russell was looking FIERCE in that silver dress.

Best Supporting Actor in a TV series, limited series, or TV movie was Ben Whishaw, who gave an adorable speech, for A Very English Scandal.

Best Actress in a TV series, limited series, or TV movie was Patricia Arquette for Escape at Dannemora.  She really, really liked working with Ben Stiller.  That's all I got from her speech.

Festivities were interrupted slightly for one of the major awards, the inaugural Carol Burnett Award for Excellence in Comedy, being presented to Carol Burnett.  Steve Carrell gave a very nice speech but I really loved the clip show highlighting her work.  I loved watching her show.  The episodes always felt fresh even when they were reruns.  Her speech pointed out how insanely expensive it would be to do a variety show in this day and age and highlighted just how incredible it was to not only have a hit show run for 11 years but to be a female showrunner in an era still trying to get any sort of representation in front of or behind the camera.

Best Original Score went to Justin Hurwitz for First Man, the only award that film would win all night.

Best Original Song went to "Shallow" from A Star is Born.  This was the expected winner and it won.

Best Supporting Actress in a Movie went to Regina King for If Beale Street Could Talk.  She went way over her allotted time but I don't think anybody was mad about it.  From what I can tell, her win was well-deserved, and any promises to provide 50% gender parity on subsequent projects are welcome.

Best Actress in a TV series, Drama, went to host Sandra Oh for Killing Eve, making her the first Asian-American woman to ever win that category.  Her mom still didn't look super impressed.

Best Supporting Actor in a Movie went to Mahershala Ali for Green Book, a movie that has been hugely divisive.  I haven't seen the film (but probably will because it's definitely getting nominated for an Oscar) but what I've read paints it as a rather tone-deaf story of race relations filtered exclusively through the experience of the film's white character.  The fact that Ali is only considered a supporting actor seems to bear that through. 

Green Book also picked up the award for Best Screenplay and was accepted by the real-life son of Viggo Mortensen's character.

Best Supporting Actress in a TV series, limited series, or TV movie was Patricia Clarkson for Sharp Objects, making her the second Patricia to win big that night.

Best Actor in a Movie, Comedy or Musical went to Christian Bale for Vice.  He thanked Satan for the inspiration to play Dick Cheney.  The Church of Satan actually issued a tweet thanking him for his kind words and that's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Best Foreign Language Film went to Roma to the shock of no one.

Best Actor in a TV series, limited series, or TV movie went to Darren Criss for The Assassination of Gianni Versace:  An American Crime Story.  I had no idea he was Filipino.

Chris Pine presented Jeff Bridges with the Cecil B. DeMille Award and it was clear that Pine thinks Bridges is the funniest dude in the world.  The video package highlighted exactly how few of his films I've ever seen, especially from his early career, and left out probably as many as it showed.  Jeff Bridges has worked a long-ass time.  Also, his speech was the most rambling, incoherent, hilarious one of the night.  At this point, the champagne had been flowing freely for about two hours just of broadcast time so probably at least two or three hours before that as well (because they get dinner at the Globes and then fast at the Oscars) and everyone was pretty sloshed.

Alfonso Cuaron also picked up Best Director for Roma.

Best Actress in a TV show, Musical or Comedy went to Rachel Brosnahan for The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I think for the second time.  And today I learned that show is also controversial because Brosnahan is not Jewish which raises concerns of anti-Semitism and now makes Samberg's joke about it make sense.

Best TV series, Musical or Comedy went to The Kominsky Method, which was somewhat of a shock because of how new it is but it is about old white dudes not aging gracefully and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association loves that.

Best Limited Series or TV movie went to American Crime Story.
     
Best Actress in a Movie, Musical or Comedy went to Olivia Coleman for The Favourite which pretty much guarantees her a nomination for Best Actress in a couple of weeks.  Also, she looked fabulous.

Best Picture, Musical or Comedy went to Green Book in its third win of the night.  This I thought was some bullshit on the part of the HFPA because nowhere did I see this movie being billed as a comedy.  Even the clip they played when they introduced it wasn't funny.

In the second biggest surprise of the night, Glenn Close beat Lady Gaga for Best Actress in a Movie, Drama, for The Wife.  Honestly, I think the person most surprised was Glenn Close but she's so good of an actress I could be wrong.  She also gave a really nice speech.

Best Actor in a Movie, Drama, went to Rami Malek for Bohemian Rhapsody.  I have actually not heard a lot of praise for the movie itself, but what I did hear was for Malek particularly.  This is another film embroiled in controversy for its treatment of Freddie Mercury's life, sexual orientation, AIDS diagnosis, and its direction by Bryan Singer, accused of sexual assault over several decades by multiple people.

In the Time's Up era, many are questioning the HFPA's endorsement of Singer, even tacitly, and especially in awarding the biggest prize of the night, Best Picture, Drama, to Bohemian Rhapsody.

I haven't seen the film (really, I have seen almost none of the films) but I am very conflicted about it.  I'm also a little irritated that it and A Star is Born were even in the Drama category when I would definitely classify them both as musicals.  I think if they were classified correctly it would have alleviated a lot of the ire.  Green Book should have been a drama and then, placed in consideration with BlacKkKlansman, Black Panther, and If Beale Street Could Talk, judged on its relative merits.  But I'm not in charge.

Anyway, Oscar nominations drop in a couple of weeks and then I will have until Feb 24th to watch all the nominees.  Stay tuned!