Saturday, April 29, 2017

Straw Dogs (1971)

Straw dogs movie poster.jpg  Earlier this year, I watched the remake of this film, which you can find at this link.  I always like to see the original first but it just didn't work out that way because they were on competing lists (the server I got from Rob and Netflix).  Plot-wise, both movies match up pretty well but there are some key differences.

David (Dustin Hoffman) and his wife Amy (Susan George) have moved from the United States to her childhood home in England to get away from the pervasive violence happening at that time.  David is working on a mathematical explanation of stellar phenomena and Amy is bored.  They hire locals to re-roof the garage, one of whom is Amy's former boyfriend (Del Henney).  The locals start a campaign of harassment against David in particular, mostly out of jealousy, becoming more brazen every time he doesn't react.  An accident involving a local mentally disabled man (David Warner) leads to a showdown/siege of David and Amy's home.

Some of the differences I liked, and some I thought were interesting choices.  There wasn't really anything in the movie that I hated, but I wouldn't rush to see it again.

The casting of the original is definitely better than the remake, especially the character of Henry Niles  (played by David Warner) who was changed to Jeremy Niles in the remake (and played by Dominic Purcell).  There is a world of difference between the tall, gangling awkwardness of Warner and the hulking form of Purcell.  Personally, I thought Warner seemed more authentic, especially during the siege when he panics at the thought of being handed over to the mob.

The rape is handled with more ambiguity in the original.  Let me be clear here.  Both are very obviously rape scenes but the Amy character reacts slightly differently in each movie.  2011 Amy (played by Kate Bosworth) shuts down completely after being overpowered by Charlie, the former boyfriend (played by Alexander Skarsgaard), withdrawing into herself to cope with the trauma.  Charlie recognizes it and is ashamed, which factors in later on in the film.  1971 Amy is also overpowered by Charlie (played by Del Henney) but about halfway through, she starts to respond to him.  This could have just been to make it a little easier on herself, to reduce the amount of violence being used, but it also kind of indicates that she might still have feelings for Charlie.

I would like to reiterate that it's still very much rape.  Neither incarnation of Amy ever gave any kind of non-coerced consent.  It's just interesting to me to see how differently the directors handled the same material.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Maybe, Maybe Not (1994)

Der-bewegte-mann-1994 poster.jpg  Our little odyssey through one hundred years of German cinema is drawing to a close.  We're now in the reunification period of the early 90s, a terrible decade.  After producing about thirty years of avant-garde government-subsidized cinema, German directors said "Fuck it, let's make money!" and started copying Hollywood in earnest.  That gives us this "relationship comedy" that is somehow better and worse than its American counterpart.

Axel (Til Schweiger) is one of those guys that never really seems to do much but somehow always lands on his feet.  After his girlfriend, Doro (Katja Riemann), kicks him out of their apartment for once again cheating on her with another woman, Axel is in desperate need of a place to stay.  One of his buddies runs a men's group for sad-sacks terrified of their girlfriends/wives and hiding it with fake  enthusiasm for feminism.  They invited Walter (Rufus Beck) to provide perspective from the gay man's viewpoint.  Walter takes one look at Axel and starts plotting.  First, he invites Axel to a drag show, then pours liquor into him like it's going out of style.  Axel, fearing a trap, announces that he is going to live with Walter's friend Norbert (Joachim Krol), a sweet, slightly befuddled man who keeps getting taking advantage of by his boyfriends.  This sparks an unlikely friendship.  Norbert thinks there might be more to it, but things are complicated by Doro being pregnant and Axel being a total idiot.

Seriously, I think everyone knows at least one person like Axel who seems to skate by on looks even when they're short on brains, falling into one piece of good fortune after another and always leaving someone else holding the tab.  Best case, they're entertaining yet infuriating.  Worst case, they're manipulative assholes.  Axel falls towards the entertaining end of the spectrum but he's not really the main character here.  How can he be, when he demonstrates virtually zero growth over the runtime?  Norbert is the reluctant lead, finally learning to stick up for himself after having to deal with one bullshit scenario perpetuated by Axel after another.

The humor is broad and rather crass, with a hefty amount of generalizations about gay men (like, all gay men do drag or are Leather Daddies).  But it does show more fluidity in sexuality than American films even in the last few years.  So, plus and minus.

It is a rom-com from the 90s, which means it's totally bonkers anyway.  If you can find it, it's worth a watch.  I'm personally going to try and order a copy for Christy.  She needs this in her life.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Official poster shows The X-Men Team with Professor X sitting in his wheelchair, surrounded by friend and foe mutants, with the film's titular enemy Apocalypse behind them with a big close-up over his head and face, with nuclear missiles flying into the air, and the film's title, credits, billing, and release date below them and the film's slogan "Only The Strong Will Survive" above.  Since I'm so terribly behind on my Christy Experiment, we've decided to try something a little different.  I bought this movie a while back but hadn't gotten around to seeing it yet (alphabet).  Christy also owned it, so for Easter we watched it together.  Separately.  In our own homes.  900 miles apart.

CIA agent Moira McTaggart (Rose Byrne) discovers a cult belonging to what is purported to be the world's first mutant, a being known as Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac).  After being betrayed by his followers in ancient Egypt, Apocalypse is ready to try again in a new millennium.  He recruits the four strongest mutants he can find to his side, including Storm (Alexandra Shipp), Angel (Ben Hardy), Psyloche (Olivia Munn), and Magneto (Michael Fassbinder).  That last one raises a few eyebrows over in Westchester, New York.  Professor Xavier (James McAvoy), Beast (Nicholas Hoult), Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence), and Quicksilver (Evan Peters) scramble to put together a team of young, untrained mutants to stop Apocalypse and his Horsemen in time to save their friend.

This wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  I remember the critical response was pretty negative so I had really low expectations going in.  It's not the best X-men movie by a long shot, but it's not horrible.  I liked the representations of the characters, especially Storm.  If they gave Alexandra Shipp her own spin-off to explore the character's background and rise to power, I would not be mad.

As seems to be the trend since the introduction of his character, Quicksilver completely stole the show.  He also takes the prize for Best Use of a Eurythmics Song.

This particular trilogy got progressively weaker with each installment I think, because they tried to cram as many baby versions of famous mutants as they could with less emphasis on the story.  I think the next iterations of the characters should focus on individuals, more in the pattern of Logan or the Marvel universe.

Friday, April 21, 2017

The All-Round Reduced Personality (1978)

  This might be the first truly avant-garde film I've ever seen.  I can't say that I necessarily enjoyed the experience, but according to my professor, that's not the filmmaker's intention anyway.

Edda (Helke Sander, who also wrote and directed) is a single mother in West Berlin trying to also make it as a freelance photographer.  She is involved in a women's photography group who have been commissioned to put together an exhibit on working, emancipated, happy women to highlight "women's issues" but the photographers want to do an exhibit on the Berlin Wall and how social and political institutions are also women's issues.

It is intentionally shot in black and white in a documentary style, with long takes of the wall and the city, interspersed with the daily tasks of a working mother.  Compared to 90% of the other movies I've ever seen, it is excruciatingly boring.

And yet (she said, triumphantly).

This is the most accurate portrayal of a working mother that is not a documentary that I have ever seen.  Sander provides a voiceover for parts of the film, not necessarily directly connected to what is being shown, but providing a wry irony.  Let me explain with a scene.  In a voiceover, Sander describes the Secretary General of the UN releasing a message to go out with Voyager I into deep space, proclaiming to any listening aliens that the human race extends nothing but peace and brotherhood to them, while her character drives through a city at the epicenter of a decades-long cold war between rival superpowers.

So I can't really recommend it for casual viewers.  Hell, I don't think I'd ever watch it again.  But as a representation of feminist film, German film, and experimental film, it is top-notch.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines movie.jpg  And now we move into the shitty phase of this franchise where we've replaced the badassness of Linda Hamilton with the coldness of Kristanna Loken.

Look, I get it, Jonathan Mostow.  You saw the first two James Cameron films and thought, "This franchise needs a girl robot!"  It's not a bad thought.  It just probably should have stayed under fan fiction and not an actual produced film.

Judgment Day has come and gone, and the world remains as it was.  John Connor (Nick Stahl), now 25, struggles to find purpose in a world that no longer needs him to be the savior of mankind.  Still, old habits die hard and a motorcycle injury sees him breaking into a veterinary hospital for supplies, rather than risk his name going into any system.  It's a good thought, but the vet assistant, Kate Brewster (Claire Danes), manages to get the drop on him and locks him in a dog kennel.  Meanwhile, a new terminator, the T-X (Kristanna Loken), has arrived to eliminate Connor and all his future top lieutenants, including Kate Brewster.  So another T-101 (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is sent to protect Connor and Brewster so they can eventually lead the Resistance.

This wouldn't have been so bad if the ending hadn't managed to ruin the entire mythology.  By going for the nihilism, it betrays the one dictum of the previous movies:  There is no fate but what we make.    For that alone, I can't recommend this to anyone except as a curiosity.  This actually killed any interest I had in the franchise, so I haven't even seen any of the ones that came after it.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Passengers (2016)

Berkas:Passengers 2016 film poster.jpg  This is one of those movies that's all right up until about the last fifteen minutes and then it's awful.

Jim (Chris Pratt) wanted a new life, so he signed up for a 120-year journey to a new planet, Homestead II, along with 4999 other people.  A malfunction in the ship's computer causes his hyper sleep chamber to wake him up ninety years too early.  He can't get to the ship's crew or the control center of the ship.  He can't go back to sleep in the hyper sleep chamber.  His only company is an android bartender (Micheal Sheen) and the vastness of space.  After being totally alone for a year, Jim almost literally stumbles across the sleep chamber of Aurora (Jennifer Lawrence), a writer who volunteered to go to Homestead II to write a story about the colonists, then return on another 120-year journey to Earth.  Jim makes the decision to wake Aurora up so that he will have a companion.

We'll explore that a little further in the piece.

Aurora adjusts to the news that she will likely never see Homestead II and she and Jim settle in to their relationship.  But things keep going wrong with the ship, leading to critical malfunctions all over.  The couple must find the root cause before a catastrophe occurs.

Okay.  From here, there might be some spoilers specifically regarding the ending.  You've been warned.

Let's talk about the flagrant consent issues first.  Here's Jim, stranded all alone (essentially) on a ship with no hope of rescue.  He has 4999 people he could choose from to help him a) get back to sleep or b) wake up the crew and figure out what went wrong.  He has access to the passenger profiles so he can get really good information on who is going to be the most useful.  And who does he pick?  Not an engineer.  Not a computer systems expert.  The beautiful, blonde writer.   Which, yes, as a writer, I can totally approve of because writers are awesome.  However, of the skill sets provided, that is not the most useful.  Which Jim knows.  By the time he has made this decision, he has given up on hope of rescue and just wants a companion to live out his days with.  He made a conscious decision to wake this woman up to serve that purpose and only that purpose.  And that's wrong.  Medieval fairy tales wrong.  Rape of the Sabines wrong.

Here's something else fun.  Jim is a regular class passenger.  He uses his ID bracelet to get food, a room, clothes, and sundries from the ship.  Aurora is a gold class passenger.  Her ID bracelet gets a marked difference in quality of the same goods.  Because let's perpetuate existing class distinctions on our way to a shiny new utopia.

Here's where we talk about the ending.

After all the drama over Aurora finding out that Jim deliberately woke her, and being angry over what is assuredly the world's most drawn-out murder, Jim presents her with an option to return to sleep after all, but only her, leaving him to die alone on the ship after living out his entire lifespan.  And she decides to stay awake with him.  So when the rest of the ship wakes up, Aurora has left them a written record of the time she and Jim have had, and also turned the main open deck into a tropical jungle.

Yes.  It's Adam and Eve in space.  We're supposed to believe that in ninety years, these two people just said "fuck it, this is where we live now.  Let's make the best of it," and just did whatever the hell they wanted without ever trying to wake anyone else up.  They never got bored of each other and wanted someone else to talk to.  They never had a fight where one said, "I want a divorce," and decided to go pick another spouse from the remaining passengers.  They never had children.  Can you imagine if they did?  Talk about class war.  And, really, following the source material, what should have happened was that they had two sons, one of whom was totally on board with just being a caretaker to these sleeping innocents and one of whom resented them for their suspended animation, ultimately attempting to wake them up and killing his brother instead, for which crime he is jettisoned into space in an escape pod.

But hey, maybe you like this kind of thing.  Space Genesis!  Starring Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence.  Knock yourself out.

Friday, April 14, 2017

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

So this version of the Spider-man mythos did not do well.  The character is now back in the loving arms of Marvel, its parent company, for yet another reboot that now stars an even younger kid.

But we'll discuss that when it comes out.  For now, I'm going to confine myself to re-watching the Andrew Garfield vehicle.

I stand by what I originally said.  This kicks the shit out of the Tobey Maguire franchise.  Garfield and Stone are perfect together on screen, even if it didn't work out in real life.  Originally posted 08 Jul 12.    A lot of people lost their minds when it was announced that Sony was rebooting the Spider-man franchise barely six years after the third film to star him came out.  I wasn't looking forward to it, either.  Not because I thought the original trilogy was the be-all end-all of superhero films, but because I've never cared for the character of Spider-man and thought they could have spent their time on a superhero that didn't suck.

Seriously, he's my second least favorite right under Superman, because fuck that guy.

Despite thinking that they didn't need another Spider-man movie or any previous ones, I was actually intrigued when I heard the cast list.  I love Emma Stone and have since Easy A and Andrew Garfield was the only person in The Social Network that I didn't want to dick-punch into oblivion.  Plus, Rhys Ifans, Sally Field, Martin Sheen, and Denis Leary?  I'm in.

Abandoned by his parents as a small lad, Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) is raised by his Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen) and Aunt May (Sally Field).  A phenomenally bright teen with an interest in photography, Peter is picked on at school for being a powerless wimp.  One day, while clearing the flooded basement of Uncle Ben's house, Peter comes across his father's briefcase.  Inside is a picture of his father with noted herpetologist/geneticist Dr. Curtis Connors (Rhys Ifans) and an Oscorp ID badge. Peter smooth-talks his way into the intern program but is almost busted by his crush, Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) who legitimately works there.  She lets him go and he follows a shady looking executive (Irrfan Khan) into the restricted wing.  Peter almost immediately walks into Oscorp's experimental biocord area and gets bitten on the neck by a genetically modified spider.  Spidey powers bloom and he is finally able to exact some sweet sweet revenge on the high school bully.  Uncle Ben bawls him out for it but Peter tunes out most of the "comes with great responsibility" speech and cozies up to Dr. Connors.  He even helps him solve an equation on cross-species genetic splicing.

If your warning bells are going off, congratulations, you're smarter than a teenager, even if he is a genius.

Initially excited by the discovery, Dr. Connors is horrified to learn that Shady Executive Guy is planning to rush ahead with human trials at the Veterans Hospital.  He injects himself, intending to stop Shady Executive Guy, but you all know what path is paved with good intentions.  Meanwhile, the law of unintended consequences is catching up to Peter in a big way as Uncle Ben gets capped by a dude Peter ignored.  Now, filled with resolve, Peter vows to stop the abomination that used to be Dr. Connors...just as soon as he meets Gwen's parents.  Police captain daddy (Denis Leary) is not pleased especially when Peter starts spouting pro-vigilante rhetoric at the dinner table.  Peter quickly goes back to swinging from buildings and getting the shit beat out of him, since that's what he's good at.

I never liked Tobey Maguire as Spider-man because I never felt like he pulled off being a teenager.  It just didn't feel believable.  Despite being only a year younger, Andrew Garfield is much better at pulling off that angsty and confusing time period.  Even all his annoying banter seems more natural since most of the real teenagers I see can't shut up about themselves either.

I know a lot of people really enjoyed the first three films, but if you let yourself, you'll have plenty of room in your heart for this one as well.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Ali: Fear Eats the Soul (1974)

Alifeareats.jpg  We're moving back in time a little bit and over the Berlin Wall to examine a piece from the Western part of Germany.

Emmi (Brigitte Mira) is a widowed cleaning lady of a certain age.  One night, during a downpour, she takes refuge inside a bar frequented by guest workers.  As a joke, one barfly dares Ali (El Hedi Ben Salim), a much younger Moroccan,  to ask the older lady to dance.  This sparks a romance that leads to marriage.  Although happy with each other, Emmi and Ali face criticism and social ostracization for their relationship on all sides.

Watching this film, the obvious parallel is Harold and Maude, but I couldn't help but be struck by how similar it was to Loving.  I don't know if Germany (East or West) had miscegenation laws, but they don't exactly have a good track record of welcoming others who do not fit the categories of White and German.

1974 was only about a generation and a half past the second world war and Hitler's regime.   The building of the wall caused a massive shortage of labor for West Germany.  Labor that had to be imported, which then caused resentment and fear over the sudden influx of culturally different guest workers, many of whom stayed long past the date on their work visas.  You can see the parallels now with countries arguing over refugees amid fears of terrorism and blaming the collective because of the actions of a few.  Fear eats the soul.  And the only way to combat fear is through knowledge.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Terminator2poster.jpg  I think you could make a strong case for this being a better film than its predecessor.

In the future, mankind has still been hunted almost to extinction, even though the original plan to kill Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) failed.  Another attempt is made, sending a more advanced Terminator, the T-1000 (Robert Patrick), back to the time line when John Connor (Edward Furlong) is a kid.  Future John manages to also send a reprogrammed older model of Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) back in time to protect himself.

I don't know what to tell you people that have never seen this, except that you have done yourself a grave disservice.  Everyone needs more of this movie in their lives.

Sadly, the copy I have on the server looked like it had been spliced together from separate clips so there were these weird overlap points of repeated scenes.  It just means that I have to buy another copy.  No big deal but it did detract a little from the experience.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Loving (2016)

  This was nominated for Best Actress at this year's Oscars. 

In 1958, Virginia still had miscegenation laws that prohibited marriage between races.  Richard Loving (Joel Edgerton), a white dude, married Mildred Jeter (Ruth Negga), a black woman, in Washington, DC, before returning to their home in Virginia.  They were subsequently arrested and jailed, then sentenced to exile.

Yes, really.  Exile.  Like the middle ages.

Fast forward eight years and three children.  The Lovings are living in a cramped row house in DC.  They are approached by a young lawyer from the ACLU named Bernard Cohen (Nick Kroll) after Mildred wrote a letter to Bobby Kennedy, who championed Civil Rights causes.  Cohen wanted to use the Lovings as a landmark case to push to the Supreme Court in order to overturn miscegenation laws across the country.

And that's it.  There wasn't anything particularly noteworthy about them as a couple.  They certainly weren't the first mixed race couple in America, or even the first to get married.  They happened to be married at a crucial junction in American history, and held up as an example to force legislation.  I don't know that it was necessarily fair to the Lovings as a couple.  They had to go through a lot of ostracization and fear, both from institutions like the state and local government and law enforcement, and from fellow citizens.  That kind of (justified) paranoia destroys your peace of mind.

As a piece of legislation and history, the importance of Loving v. Virginia can't be overstated.  As a movie, however, ehhhhh.  It is glacially paced, with quiet, subtle performances from its lead actors.  Important?  Yes.  Accurate?  Probably.  Fun to watch?  No.  So don't go in expecting big, dynamic, tension-filled moments of high drama.  That is not what this movie is about.  But if you want to see some beautifully restrained performances from Edgerton and especially Negga, by all means.

Friday, April 7, 2017

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Alien Resurrection poster.jpg  We're moving into more recognizable names now as we hit the end of the original quadrilogy.  I think I'll categorize Prometheus and its follow-ups as a separate series.  What do you guys think?  Continued lineage or cadet branch?  Tell me in the comments.

Weyland-Yutani may have knuckled under, but evil scientists remain evil.  Aboard a military vessel coasting outside the legal boundaries of space, General Perez (Dan Hedaya) accepts a shipment of very special cargo from the pirate crew of the Betty, in exchange for a hefty fee and some R&R.  On-board, however, the crew discover that Lt. Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) has been recreated from DNA particles recovered from Fiorina 161 and used to harvest a queen alien.  Call (Winona Ryder), the newest addition to the Betty's crew, knows that where Ripley goes, death follows.  But of course it's too late.

This was directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet and written by Joss Whedon, already marking a departure from the three previous films in the series.  Jeunet is known for The City of Lost Children, Amelie, and Delicatessen, while Whedon is best known for Firefly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and The Avengers.  Jeunet brought several of his go-to actors, including Ron Perlman and Dominique Pinon.  Whedon brought his space pirates.  Together, they created an Alien film that is totally different from any other Alien film.  Whether that is good or bad is strictly up to you.

Personally, I like this combo.  I have liked every Jeunet film I've seen, Ripley is at her most badass, and most of Whedon's work is absolutely top-notch for creativity.  (I have issues with BtVS.  Sue me.)  There are some pacing issues for sure, especially if you watch the 2006 extended edition, which you shouldn't.  Seriously, even the director was like "IDK why this exists."  Just watch the regular theatrical release.  It's fine.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Solo Sunny (1980)

  I didn't get a chance to watch any other movies this last week except for my German class curriculum, so you're getting a twofer.

We're still in East Berlin, except now we've moved to the glam rock decade.  This film was not penalized like Trace of Stones and was actually a huge crossover hit.  The film's star won a Silver Bear at the Berlin Film Festival in West Germany for her performance.

Sunny (Renate Krossner) is a singer trying to make it big in the East German pop scene but just can't seem to break out of her rut touring with more traditional variety acts.

As a character, Sunny is a total badass, determined to live life on her own terms and to hell with anyone else.  Naturally, this puts her at odds with the socialist lifestyle, which emphasizes collectivism.  Everyone is equal, which means no one is a star.  She's also sexually liberated, which is constantly under threat from various men, from the guy desperately trying to claw his way out of the friend zone, the bandmate that just won't take no for an answer, and randos at every bar who think that "musician" equals "easy".  It's little wonder that she comes off as abrasive.

The film suffers from some pacing issues and some fairly cringeworthy editing.  I don't necessarily recommend it based on those flaws but it is an interesting portrait of a woman trying to break free of traditional gender expectations in order to express herself as a totality, instead of a collection of parts.

Trace of Stones (1966)

  Our continued tour of German films takes us to East Germany in the mid-60s.  This film was one of twelve (an entire year's output) that were banned by East German authorities as critical of the socialist regime.  It had an eight-day theatrical run because they had already spent the money to advertise for it, and then was promptly shelved until the Berlin Wall came down.

Told in a series of flashbacks, the story concerns the punishment of Werner Horrath (Eberhard Esche), the Communist Party leader of a struggling petrochemical plant.  Horrath had come on board to deal with the many issues, including material shortages, lack of communication between departments, and a rogue group of carpenters led by Hannes Balla (Manfred Krug).  What Horrath didn't count on was falling for Kati Klee (Krystyna Stypulkowska), the lead engineer.  Klee, Balla, and Horrath circle each other in an ever more destructive pattern, leading to the foregone conclusion of the frame story.

This movie was incredibly frustrating to watch.  The filmmakers were heavily constrained in what they could say and show, so a lot is alluded to but never makes an appearance.  Not that it made a damn bit of difference because the government shelved it anyway.  I'd like to think that if they knew that's what would happen, the writer and director would have just swung for the fences, but movies are as much about politics as they are about stories and that kind of thing just didn't fly at the time.

This is an interesting film in the context of expressions of German cinema and reflections of life at the time but not on its own merits.  Avoid unless you're taking a class.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

The Terminator (1984)

It's time to work my way through another franchise!  Hopefully.  I haven't had a lot of luck recently with finishing things.  I'm still not through all the Alien movies and I haven't finished any of the TV shows I was watching.  It's been a rough week.  Like an "I almost walked off my job and had to file and HR complaint against my management" kind of rough.  So I'm sorry I didn't get to post anything yesterday.

Honestly, I had kind of forgotten that I already reviewed this but it's always worth it to go back and shame Christy for never having seen this film until 2012.  Originally posted 24 Jul 2012.    Christy had never seen the original Terminator.  Apparently, she's been watching T2:  Judgment Day for years convinced that it was the first one.  The "2" in the title was some affectation, presumably.  After making fun of her for a while (you can't lob a softball like that at me and expect me to NOT swing), Rob and I got her a blu-ray of it and settled down to watch some glorious 80's sci-fi.

Mom jeans were not your friend, Linda Hamilton!



Anyway, if you haven't seen the original Terminator you should be mocked as thoroughly as those jeans.  But just in case you've been living in an Amish community for the last 30 years:

A killer cyborg (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is sent back through time to 1984 from the future in order to kill the mother of the human resistance fighters before he can be born.  To prevent this, a freedom fighter named Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) is also sent back to find and protect Sarah Connors (Linda Hamilton) so she can fulfill her destiny and become the mother to the savior of humanity. 

That's really all there is to it.  You can get it on blu-ray from Target for about $10 so there's really no reason to not see it.  The effects don't hold up as well as some of the other films from the time but they're good enough to get the job done.