Oops! All Horror - Day 17 - Misery (1990)

  Content warning:  some blood, mild body horror

Novelist Paul Sheldon (James Caan) is excited to start a new era.  He has finally killed off his previous bestselling character, Misery Chastain, and is starting a brand new series.  He is on his way to deliver his manuscript to his editor (Lauren Bacall) when his car goes off the road during a blizzard.  Fortunately, Paul is rescued by a nurse, Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates), who just so happens to be a fan.  His number one fan, you could say.  As Paul begins to recover, Annie gets more demanding, more controlling.  The only way to pacify her is to write a new Misery Chastain novel.

There's something being said in the film about the parasocial demands of fandom that feels very prescient, given the well-publicized outcries about popular media, like the series finale of Stranger Things or the recent-ish Disney Star Wars sequels.  Apparently, the kid who plays Percy Jackson in the Disney+ show had to ask fans online to stop sending death-threats to his potential prom dates.  So there's a lot of angry, entitled people out there who only want to consume very specific things and when they don't get them, they take it personally.  

But also, there's something very ick about the villain in this movie being a woman who physically dominates a man.  It's infuriating because the way Paul walks on eggshells around Annie is just daily life for a lot of women in abusive relationships.  So is this an entry in Women's Horror, my pet category of Only Horror Because It's Happening to a Man?  I'm going to say no.  I think it's just garden-variety misogyny that the scariest thing a man can imagine is a woman having power over him and treating him the way he would treat her if their roles were reversed.  

Obligatory feminist rant out of the way, this is a very well-done film.  Caan and Bates are performing their asses off, and the banter between the sheriff (Richard Farnsworth) and his wife (Frances Sternhagen) feels very vintage William Goldman/Rob Reiner.  Barry Sonnenfeld was the Director of Photography and I had forgotten how good he was at capturing movement without feeling like you were going to hurl.  And no shaky-cam!  All in all, you could do much worse if this is your favorite horror movie.  It's a solid thriller that holds up even 35 years later.  It's streaming on HBO Max but only until the end of the month.

Oops! All Horror - Day 16 - In the Tall Grass (2019)

  Content warning:  blood, mild gore, animal death (crow, dog)

Becky (Laysla De Oliveira) and her brother, Cal (Avery Whitted), are on a cross-country trip to San Diego.  They stop by a field of tall grass so pregnant Becky can throw up and hear a boy (Will Blue, Jr.) calling for help inside.  Cal rushes in and Becky reluctantly follows.  The siblings soon discover that the field is seemingly endless, able to shift distances and sound, even time itself.

A good chunk of this movie is characters yelling each others' names, which very quickly got boring, but then Patrick Wilson showed up and improved it immensely.  It's kind of like Children of the Corn, if there wasn't even anything to eat.  Like, sure, you have a murderous cult but at least you weren't going to starve.  Wilson is obviously the standout here.  I love him in everything, but he is never better than when he is unhinged.  Fans of the show Lioness will recognize De Oliveira but the film doesn't really give her a lot to do other than be pregnant and yell.

It's fine.  There's some decent horror imagery, some straight out of a Renaissance triptych.  Vicenzo Natali is a solid director.  I just think the material is a little weak and relies too heavily on religious symbolism.  But it checks the box for Environmental Horror and it's streaming on Netflix, so at least it's convenient.  

Oops! All Horror - Day 15 - The Transfiguration (2017)

  Content warning:  blood, animal death (cow)

Teenaged Milo (Eric Ruffin) goes to school, tries to avoid the bullies and the gangbangers, and then goes out on the full moon to hunt strangers and drink their blood.  And then throws up, because he's not actually a vampire, just a serial killer.  But when Sophie (Chloe Levine) moves into his building, Milo begins to realize that there might be more to life than undeath.

I have...complicated...feelings about this movie.  I love vampires so I am disappointed this is not actually a vampire movie.  It is definitely horror, though.  The ending feels slightly too hopeful (?) and yet also correct.  Like, I approve, but I also find it a bit of an unrealistic note.  But I'm not an expert on serial killers, so what do I know.  

This is one of those movies that critics liked and audiences didn't and I get it.  If you're just trying to enjoy a horror movie, this is slow, too sad, and too much like real life.  If you're trying to critique a horror movie, this is "deliberately paced," "emotional," and a gritty, realistic take on vampire lore.  So bear that in mind when you're making your choices this spooky season.  It's currently streaming on Tubi with ads.

Oops! All Horror - Day 14 - Nope (2022)

  Content warning: blood, animal death (chimp, horses (off-screen))

After the death of their father (Keith David), siblings O.J. (Daniel Kaluuya) and Emerald (Keke Palmer) are struggling to keep up their family business of horse wrangling for Hollywood productions.  O.J. has even resorted to selling off stock to the rodeo/amusement park next door, run by former child actor, Jupe Park (Steven Yuen).  Jupe has been touting a new attraction, only available in the evenings, and O.J. realizes that Jupe has been courting a predatory force hiding in the clouds, luring it in with the horses.  He and Emerald decide to film the creature, hoping for fame and fortune.

This is the weakest film I've seen from Jordan Peele, but it's still not bad.  It's a little unfocused for my tastes, but it's at least an original sci-fi horror story with an impeccable cast, including the late Michael Wincott, who was one of my favorite character actors.  

I'm not mad at it; I just didn't love it.  It's currently streaming on Netflix.

Oops! All Horror - Day 13 - Interview with the Vampire season 1 (2022)

  Normally, it's way too hard to watch an entire season of a horror TV show, but I've been watching this the past few weeks with my neighbor and we finished in time for this list, so it's getting included.  Content warning:  racism, gore, blood, dead animals (rats), injured animals (pigeons), suicide

Twenty years after publishing a best-seller featuring an interview with a real vampire, journalist Daniel Malloy (Eric Bogosian) is flown out to Dubai to have the record set straight.  Louis de Pointe du Lac (Jacob Anderson) regrets some of the editorial choices made in his previous recollections and is willing to grant unprecedented access to his home and his memories, no matter how painful.

The show makes some departures from the book, moving up the timeline to the 1920s and adding new characters.  Purists will no doubt have an issue with this, but I think these are improvements.  Anderson has so much more agency with this new backstory and made Louis so much more entertaining for me, because you know how much a self-hating vampire irritates me.  I still can't watch the 1994 film because Brad Pitt's version was such a whiner.  Also, Sam Reid is electrifying as Lestat.  A truly excellent portrayal.  

It's available on both AMC+ and Netflix but the AMC+ version has behind-the-scenes commentary where there would be commercial breaks.  Fine if you're doing a rewatch but I wouldn't recommend it for first-time viewing.  The Netflix version is just the show.  

Oops! All Horror - Day 12 - D(e)ad (2025)

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day.  Here's an unrelated horror movie.    This was the Movie Club pick from the 3rd but I had a bunch of stuff watched before then.

Tillie (Isabella Rowland) cut off contact with her alcoholic, emotionally manipulative dad (Craig Bierko) years ago.  Even on his deathbed, she couldn't bring herself to see him.  So it gets really ironic that after death, he haunts every single person in her family through the mirrors, except for her.

I know we're all tired of horror movies as an allegory for grief, so good news:  this is just a comedy with ghosts.  Rowland is one of the recurring members of the Internet sketch show Dropout and if you're familiar with it, you will likely recognize a lot of the supporting characters.  Fortunately, you don't have to have any prior knowledge to enjoy the movie on its own merits.  It is incredibly funny but also a very good examination of what it means to love someone who kind of sucks.  

Unfortunately, it's not streaming anywhere except to rent or buy so you're going to have to break out that VPN to watch it.  Or have a seance.  Your choice.

Oops! All Horror - Day 11 - Hannibal season 3 (2015)

  Content warning: blood, gore, dismemberment, cannibalism, dead animal (elk, birds, pig), hanging, disembowelment, medical horror, body horror, amputation 

Will Graham (Hugh Dancy) has recovered from being attacked by Hannibal Lector (Mads Mikkelson), physically, at least.  Mentally, that's a whole different story.  He pursues the cannibalistic gourmand to Florence, Italy, where the good doctor has taken a new identity.  The cat-and-mouse game between them is complicated by the multiple people also seeking revenge against Hannibal.

I love this show so much.  Aesthetically, I think it's perfect.  The cast is flawless and the writing is that style of pompous overdramatism that soothes my corroded little soul.  Gorgeous art direction and production design!  However, I will say that season three feels a bit rushed since they had to cram in the entirety of Red Dragon in the last half because they knew they were getting cancelled.  I would have loved for this show to run another three seasons, but alas, we can't have nice things.

It is almost never on streaming but the whole series is currently on Netflix.  Watch it now before it's gone again.