Oops! All Horror - Day 12 - D(e)ad (2025)

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day.  Here's an unrelated horror movie.    This was the Movie Club pick from the 3rd but I had a bunch of stuff watched before then.

Tillie (Isabella Rowland) cut off contact with her alcoholic, emotionally manipulative dad (Craig Bierko) years ago.  Even on his deathbed, she couldn't bring herself to see him.  So it gets really ironic that after death, he haunts every single person in her family through the mirrors, except for her.

I know we're all tired of horror movies as an allegory for grief, so good news:  this is just a comedy with ghosts.  Rowland is one of the recurring members of the Internet sketch show Dropout and if you're familiar with it, you will likely recognize a lot of the supporting characters.  Fortunately, you don't have to have any prior knowledge to enjoy the movie on its own merits.  It is incredibly funny but also a very good examination of what it means to love someone who kind of sucks.  

Unfortunately, it's not streaming anywhere except to rent or buy so you're going to have to break out that VPN to watch it.  Or have a seance.  Your choice.

Oops! All Horror - Day 11 - Hannibal season 3 (2015)

  Content warning: blood, gore, dismemberment, cannibalism, dead animal (elk, birds, pig), hanging, disembowelment, medical horror, body horror, amputation 

Will Graham (Hugh Dancy) has recovered from being attacked by Hannibal Lector (Mads Mikkelson), physically, at least.  Mentally, that's a whole different story.  He pursues the cannibalistic gourmand to Florence, Italy, where the good doctor has taken a new identity.  The cat-and-mouse game between them is complicated by the multiple people also seeking revenge against Hannibal.

I love this show so much.  Aesthetically, I think it's perfect.  The cast is flawless and the writing is that style of pompous overdramatism that soothes my corroded little soul.  Gorgeous art direction and production design!  However, I will say that season three feels a bit rushed since they had to cram in the entirety of Red Dragon in the last half because they knew they were getting cancelled.  I would have loved for this show to run another three seasons, but alas, we can't have nice things.

It is almost never on streaming but the whole series is currently on Netflix.  Watch it now before it's gone again.

Oops! All Horror - Day 10 - The Gingerdead Man (2005)

  Content warning:  blood, some gore

Millard Findlemeyer (Gary Busey) murdered Sarah's (Robin Sydney) father and brother while robbing a diner, so she testified and sent him to the electric chair but she's never been able to escape the trauma of that day.  Her family bakery is under pressure from a greedy developer (Larry Cedar), her mom (Margaret Blye) is drinking too much, and oh yeah, Millard is back in the form of an evil, possessed gingerbread man.  What's a girl to do?

This is the epitome of So Bad It's Good.  It is a terrible movie that somehow has three sequels.  Insane.  And yet, somehow, it's fully watchable.  The special effects aren't great and the performances scream "student film that Gary Busey wandered into" but it manages to be kind of charming instead of grating.  Also, it's not a Christmas horror movie.  I think it actually takes place during the summer but it's set in Texas so I can't really tell.  I can't explain the alchemy and I don't think I could bring myself to watch the sequels, but all of them are on Tubi if you want to give it a shot.  Try not to think at all during the film and it'll go much more smoothly for you.

Oops! All Horror - Day 9 - Content (2026)

I started watching The Salamander but it became very apparent that despite being labeled horror, it is a political thriller and does not count.  So I will come back to it in November.  Content warning:  blood

Nia (Hailey Kilgore) has built a successful podcast searching for missing Black and indigenous women.  While taking a break from her latest case, a fashion influencer named Tamika Shaw who went missing in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Nia is threatened by a masked man outside her AirBnB, possibly the same man who took Tamika.

This is the second home invasion movie I've seen this week where it wasn't the person's actual home.  Weird.  Probably says something about the state of the economy that you can't even be menaced in a home you own.  Anyway, the script is a little generic and underbaked.  The villain is exactly who you think it is. But the horror still works because the world remains unsafe for women.  

It's streaming on Tubi.

Oops! All Horror -Day 8 - Blind Sun (2018)

  Content warning:  dead animal (cat)

Ashraf (Ziad Bakri) has been hired to guard a rich family's empty vacation home in Greece.  There's a drought and widespread unrest among the locals, while the house is owned by a private water bottling company executive.  Ashraf is just trying to make enough money to survive but soon suspects that he's not alone.

Remember how I was talking about how fun Dolly Dearest was for not having Meaningful Subtext?  This movie is all Meaningful Subtext.  The horror comes from the creeping dread of isolation, the feeling that Ashraf is in danger but can't call out for help.  He is harassed by the local cops for not belonging, because he is foreign and poor.  The wealthy family is out of the country, completely indifferent to his well-being as long as the property is okay, and he has no friends or family.

The heat is its own character here, merciless and seething, leaching the goodwill from people and leaving only desperation and rage.  You could consider it environmental horror in addition to home invasion.  If you're not quite ready to let summer go yet and/or need the coals of class war stoked, Blind Sun is streaming on Amazon Prime.

Oops! All Horror - Day 7 - The Vault of Horror (1973)

Content warning: blood, dismemberment 

Five men find themselves on the sub-basement floor of a building with no way to call the elevator back.  To pass the time, they each share a recurring nightmare they have.

This anthology is based on stories that mostly appeared in the Tales from the Crypt magazine, in case they feel familiar.  It is also absolutely packed to the rafters with British talent, with Tom Baker, Denholm Elliott, Glynis Johns, and Terry-Thomas.  Normally, these kinds of movies have one, maybe two decent segments but all of these are pretty on par with each other, if not particularly outstanding.  It works more as a curiosity piece at this point.  Fortunately, the whole thing is streaming on YouTube.  My personal favorite is **SPOILERS FOLLOW** the guy who was just so annoying that he was condemned to relive his own murder for all eternity.  Like, everyone else was out for money or revenge and this guy was just a pedantic shit.  **END SPOILER**  Give it a shot for some vintage thrills.

Oops! All Horror - Day 6 - Dolly Dearest (1991)

 Content warning: blood, dismemberment, dolls

The Wade family has sold all their things, left L.A., and taken possession of a doll factory in Mexico so Elliot (Sam Bottoms) can pursue his dream of creating handmade dolls.  Except the real estate agent neglected to mention the hazardous, outdated equipment or the open archeological dig site next door.  Soon, daughter Jessica (Candy Hutson) begins acting strangely towards the Catholic housekeeper (Lupe Ontiveros) and grows increasingly inseparable from Dolly, one of the factory's leftover dolls.  Dr. Karl Resnick (Rip Torn) is at the dig site investigating a Mayan splinter cult called the Sanzia, who worshiped a Devil Child, but the myths couldn't possibly be true.  Could they???

This is some old-school, classic killer doll shit and it was downright refreshing.  No meta-anything, no social commentary, just some passive racial bias, and an inanimate item that is trying to kill your whole family.  Yes, it's very clearly a Child's Play rip-off but who cares?  It's super fun and dumb!  There's a 10-year-old who dresses like a middle-aged accountant!  Fake cult lore!  Surprisingly good emotive doll faces! Clueless parents!  Denise Crosby looking gorgeous!  Explosions!  

The whole thing is available on YouTube for free.  Throw it on and have a blast.