Cinema Lucyano
I review movies, so you don't have to.
Sunday, May 24, 2026
Brat (1997)
Saturday, May 23, 2026
Assa (1987)
Content warning: homophobic slurs, racial slurs One of Movie Club's members is in a Russian film and literature class so this week, we helped her with her homework, and indirectly helped me with this blog because I have been trying to catch up on TV while I'm waiting for my new job to start. I've watched season 4 of Downton Abbey, season 1 of Severance, season 8 of Game of Thrones, tried to watch Carnival Row and bailed, and now I'm on season 3 of Sons of Anarchy.
Alika (Tatyana Drubich) is on vacation with her gangster sugar daddy, Krymov (Stanislav Govorukhin), when she meets a young musician named Bananan (Sergei "Afrika" Bugaev). While Krymov is running around setting up all his little schemes, Alika and Bananan see the sights of Yalta in winter.
The plot is really very simple, but it's so meandering that it feels like it should be more complicated. But it's just boy meets girl, girl has mobster boyfriend, mobster boyfriend gets jealous of boy. Everything else is a distraction. It's probably a metaphor for the dissolution of the Soviet Union and massive social change that happened in the late 80s/early 90s. Cold War Russia is not one of my areas of expertise. At least, not the parts that actually happened in Russia. It also has a weird subplot about the assassination of a Tsar, again I assume a more heavy-handed metaphor.
If you are into music, this features a band called Kino that was apparently very famous for bringing Russian underground rock into the mainstream. I don't even watch Eurovision so again, not my area.
The whole thing is streaming on YouTube in very good quality, either in one complete shot or in two parts. It was entertaining enough, in that cold, bleakly humorous Russian way.
Monday, May 18, 2026
The Farewell (2018)
Just a depressing-ass trio of family movies this week.
Billi (Awkwafina) is devastated to learn that her beloved grandmother, Nai Nai (Zhao Shu-Zhen), has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Nai Nai is the only one who doesn't know, and Billi is told repeatedly by other family members that the knowledge must be kept from her so as to keep her from succumbing to despair. As an American, Billi struggles with this cultural clash but agrees to keep the secret. The family organizes a wedding for Billi's cousin (Chen Han) as an excuse for everyone to see Nai Nai for potentially the last time.
Once again, this was billed as a comedy but it is extremely not funny. Cancer sucks and watching someone die from it also sucks. As an American, I vehemently disagreed with withholding someone's medical information, but I also know it's not my job to police other cultures. Part of building empathy is exposure to new and unfamiliar ideas and practices.
So, once you get past the idea that this is somehow meant to be funny (and even the director called it a "nuanced drama" not a comedy), you can focus on the performances which are good but a little underbaked for my tastes. The movie focuses a lot on how adorable and feisty Nai Nai is and how much everyone loves her but I didn't really get much of a sense of who they were outside of their grief. If anything, I felt terrible for the cousin who was pressured into marrying his girlfriend of three months to sell this lie. I think he maybe has four lines of dialogue, the fiancée maybe two. Felt like the antithesis of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
It's streaming on Tubi for free or Kanopy with a library card.
Sunday, May 17, 2026
Kajillionaire (2020)
Saturday, May 16, 2026
Beautiful Boy (2018)
Content warning: drug use, overdose
David Sheff (Steve Carell) struggles with his son Nic's (Timothée Chalamet) drug addiction, sending him to rehab after rehab only to watch him relapse time and again.
This came to me highly recommended as a tearjerker and maybe, for other people, sure. I was sympathetic but not empathetic. If you're a parent, maybe you have a stronger emotional response.
I don't think I like Timothée Chalamet. I've now seen him in several things and he seems very one-note. And I don't find him attractive, so I can't forgive that. Maura Tierney and Amy Ryan aren't given a lot of work here. They most just hover anxiously in the background. This is very much The Carell Show and to his credit, he does a solid job playing a fairly unlikeable protagonist.
It was not for me, but it is streaming on Amazon Prime if you think it may be for you.
Monday, May 11, 2026
Female Trouble (1973)
If I just said this was a John Waters film, would that count as a content warning? Just in case it doesn't, Content Warning: blood, attempted sexual assault of a minor, child abuse, general lechery
Dawn Davenport (Divine) is a bad seed. Expelled from high school and a teenaged runaway, she hooks up with the first dude who picks her up hitchhiking, Earl (also Divine), and gets knocked up. Unsurprisingly, Earl is a deadbeat who refuses to support her, so Dawn takes a series of crap jobs before joining her friends Chicklette (Susan Walsh), and Concetta (Cookie Mueller) as a house burglar. She meets Donald (David Lochary) and Donna Dasher (Mary Vivian Pearce), a couple who have a fetish for photographing crime, and continues to spiral further out of control.
If you are not into John Waters' filmography, this is not going to be a good entry point. It is one of his earliest features and way before he became anything approaching mainstream. It is a cult classic, however, and surprisingly sweet. NOT in content, but in how Waters very obviously loves his cast and crew. He films them with such an eye for their humanity, even as he allows them to be disgusting.
(It might get a little confusing pronoun-wise because Divine the actor never used she/her, only he/him, but in this instance he was playing a female character, so I'm going to use she/her when I'm talking about Dawn, and he/him when I'm talking about Divine.) As I said, this was early in the partnership between Divine and Waters, but it's very clear that Divine was born to be a star. He's utterly magnetic in this, even when shrieking and chewing scenery. Everyone else is...trying their best.
This movie was made for approximately $27.50 and features Waters' beloved Baltimore as well as good-natured family and friends, including Susan Lowe's literal newborn son. I cannot stress enough that this is NOT for everyone. Hell, it's not even for mostly anyone. But it's available for rent on Amazon. For some reason, I had $9.99 in credits so they literally gave me this movie for free and I still don't know if I'd ever watch it again. But I'm enough of a freak that I probably will.
Sunday, May 10, 2026
Turbo Kid (2015)
In the post-apocalyptic future of 1997, The Kid (Munro Chambers) scavenges for relics of a bygone age, especially media of a comic book superhero, Turbo Man. The Wasteland's water supply is controlled by Zeus (Michael Ironside), a warlord who kidnaps people to fight to the death for his entertainment. Zeus kidnaps The Kid and his manic pixie dream robot Apple (Laurence Leboeuf) and force them to fight for their lives.
I think I was just not in the right mood for this. I can see how it could have been a really fun watch, maybe with a group of friends, but it just hit me the wrong way. I didn't find it funny and I think it succeeded a little too well at pretending to be a shitty 90s action movie. It would have been one thing if it acknowledged every bad, lazy trope and had something to say about it, but it just presents them as is. As a parody, this could have been great. But instead, it's an homage and what exactly are you celebrating?
Maybe for you it's a so-bad-it's-good film to watch with your friends, Mystery Science style. If so, it's streaming on Tubi. But this was not for me.