Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters (1985)

  Content warning: suicide (disembowelment), mild blood 

Celebrated author Yukio Mishima (Ken Ogata) and four acolytes prepare to make an extreme political statement, interspersed with dramatizations of several of Mishima's novels, and flashbacks to his youth.

Man, I hate that I hated this biopic so much.  It's so pretty.  The art direction in the novel dramatizations is immaculate.  Also this was the debut of Eiko Ishioka, one of the greatest costumers to ever live. 

It is unfortunately ruined by the main character who whines about art and beauty and purity which are all just synonyms for youth.  If you've been in or around the gay community in the 90s - 00s, you've met at least 10 dudes just like this.  But none of them have probably tried to hold a military leader hostage.  Seriously, the main character here is so far up his own ass he could rent himself to Sesame Street as the letter O.

I have no idea how similar this is to the actual person it's based on and I'm afraid to look.  Fortunately, you really have to go out of your way to find this so you're not going to stumble across it accidentally.  Visually, it is stunning so if you must, I understand.  But watch it on mute.

Passport to Pimlico (1949)

  Happy All Souls Day!

A handful of children accidentally explode a piece of German ordinance and uncover a treasure trove of the Duke of Burgundy, which includes a document stating that their street is actually not part of England.  The local shopkeeper, Mr. Pemberton (Stanley Holloway), hires an expert (Dame Margaret Rutherford) to authenticate and declare that since the decree had never been rescinded, their neighborhood in London is rightfully the Duchy of Burgundy and thus, no longer subject to His Majesty's rules.  The citizens initially celebrate the end of post-war rationing, but soon find self-governance tricky.  There's borders and customs, currency issues, and national defense to think of, and that's before some French guy (Paul Dupuis) shows up, claiming to be the descendent of the last Duke.  

This is a very cute Ealing comedy that perfectly captures the British wartime spirit.  The characters feel like slight exaggerations of real people, not quite archetypes, but familiar enough to be instantly recognizable.  It's still very much a product of its time so the dialogue is a little antiquated, but well worth seeking out.  And you don't have to look very far, either.  It's streaming for free on Tubi.

Oops! All Horror - Day 31 - Lake Mungo (2008)

 Happy Halloween, everyone!  We're finishing strong with a stunner of a film.   Content:  drowned corpse

An Australian family is devastated when 16-year-old Alice (Talia Zucker) drowns during a family vacation.  Soon after, the family begin experiencing disturbances around the house, leading them to seek out a local psychic and radio personality (Steve Jodrell).  

Okay, I am late to the party on this one, which is very well-regarded in horror circles.  I was initially hesitant because of the words "found footage" but this is not shaky-cam.  This is a spectacularly done documentary-style film that's a little like Presence mixed with Ghostwatch.  It is so well-executed I can see someone believing that it's a real episode of a haunting show.  The performances felt really natural, all the "twists" were exactly like the ones you'd see in a documentary, and it has just enough verité to make you wonder.  I am going to get a little spoiler-y so as always, highlight the text to read it.  **SPOILERS FOLLOW**  One of my complaints about Presence was the "time is a flat circle" nature of the haunting which reads as predestination and inability to escape fate.  I don't love that.  Lake Mungo neatly sidesteps all that by making Alice see her fetch, a death omen from Celtic folklore.  Maybe that's the same effect for you, but for me, adding a slightly supernatural element made it seem less philosophical and therefore less depressingly nihilistic.  **END SPOILERS**  

Lake Mungo is streaming on AMC+, Shudder, and Amazon Prime.

Oops! All Horror - Day 30 - Practical Magic 2 (2026)

  It's witches and witches are Halloween-y.  Shut up.  Content warning:  suicide

After the curse-related death of Gary (Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Film), Sally Owens (Sandra Bullock) renounces her magic and removes the memory of witchcraft from her two daughters, swearing her sister, Gillian (Nicole Kidman) to silence.  Ten years later, Sally's daughters return home for the wake of Aunt Jet (Dianne Wiest) and Kylie's (Joey King) boyfriend (Xolo Maridueña) shows up to surprise her, running straight into the consequences of the Owens curse.  Devastated and angry that her mother hid her heritage, Kylie takes one of Jet's books and leaves for the Owens' ancestral home in Thornfield, England to try and break the curse.  Sally and Gillian follow, meeting Professor Ian Wright (Lee Pace), to help unblock Sally's magic.

I was extremely skeptical of this when it was announced because I am a huge fan of the original movie.  It didn't need a sequel and I was very worried this was going to be some sort of horrible nostalgia-farming cash grab.  

Fortunately, it manages to keep enough of the charm that made the original great so that I'm not mad at it.  It still probably didn't need to be made but it's fine.  It's cute.  Lee Pace is a major upgrade from Aiden Quinn although I do feel a little bad that Sally has had three major love interests and Gillian only got a psycho ex.  Likewise, Antonia (Maisie Williams) also gets short shrift in the film.  There's just not enough story to go around.  Still, I don't mind an underbaked cookie as long as it's appropriately gooey, and this was a fun, easy watch.  It just came out on digital and if you wait a month or so, it will be on one of the streamers.  I bought a copy, though.  And the soundtrack.

Oops! All Horror - Day 29 - Dolly (2025)

  Content warning:  blood, gore, dolls, vomit, forced breastfeeding

Chase (Seann William Scott) takes Macy (Fabienne Therese) on a hike, planning to propose, but is distracted by the sound of a child's toy.  He accidentally interrupts Dolly (Max the Impaler) at a private ceremony and is attacked and left for dead.  Macy goes looking for Chase but only finds Dolly, who kidnaps her.  Macy has to learn the rules of Dolly's game in order to survive and escape.

This is not reinventing the slasher genre but it's at least a decent new addition.  Production values are good, character design is solid, and it has a couple of surprisingly famous names in the cast.  If I hadn't seen Barbarian, I might have liked this more.  As it is, it could still be a really good time for you, a group of friends, and low expectations.  

It's a Shudder original, but it's also on Hulu.

Oops! All Horror - Day 28 - Cronos (1993)

  Content warning: blood, bugs

Jesús Gris (Frederico Luppi) is just a mild-mannered antiques dealer in Mexico City when he discovers a strange artifact in the base of a wooden statue. The golden device takes a small amount of Jesús's blood and imbues him with new vitality. Obviously, something like that is in hot demand and Jesús begins to be harassed by a gangster (Claudio Brook) dying of cancer and his nephew/goon (Ron Perlman).

Guillermo Del Toro sprang fully-formed from the head of Calliope, I'm pretty sure. This is his first feature film and you can already see the director he would become. Now, whether you are on board with that or not is up to you.  Personally, I love it even if I would have liked a different ending. I can see the vision, though! 

Perlman is the most recognizable name in the cast for English speakers and he is so very young and brash. It is adorable.  Luppi was in all three of Del Toro's Spanish-language films, so aficionados may recognize him as well.  This is unfortunately not streaming anywhere except to rent or buy but it is well worth tracking down.  

Oops! All Horror - Day 27 - Harpoon (2019)

 Content warning: dead animal (fish, seagull), blood, mild gore

Jonah (Munro Chambers) and Sasha (Emily Tyra) join their abusive friend, Richie (Christopher Gray) on his boat for a day trip, unaware that all their secrets and resentments are about to be revealed.

This is billed as a dark comedy horror and I guess.  It's very light on the horror for my tastes.  Minus one scene, I would classify it as just a black comedy.  That being said, it's also not very funny.  For me, black comedies only work if they are based in irony or schadenfreude and at least one of the characters hasn't done anything to deserve what happens to them.  It is like the fourth movie I've seen this month to flirt with cannibalism so I guess it's on theme?

It's streaming on Prime but there are better options out there.