The Elephant Man (1980)

  Content warning:  medical specimens, severe deformity, severe bullying, abuse

Dr. Frederick Treves (Anthony Hopkins) discovers a severely deformed man named John Merrick (John Hurt) being exhibited in a carnival freak show and bribes the showman, Mr. Bytes (Freddie Jones), to bring Merrick to the London Hospital for an examination.  Treves is later called back to the carnival because Bytes has beaten Merrick severely and then panicked that he might have killed his meal ticket.  Treves takes Merrick and installs him in the hospital but soon has to present a reason to his boss, Mr. Carr Gomm (John Gielgud), as to why Merrick can't be transferred somewhere else.  Treves believes Merrick is developmentally disabled as well as physically, but soon learns that Merrick is not only articulate, he is kind and artistic.  He's just been traumatized and abused for most of his life.  Treves immediately seeks to provide Merrick as normal a life as he can have.

There are really sweet moments in this but there are also a lot of horrifyingly bleak ones, too.  It really shows the range of human responses.  I'm a fan of David Lynch - person, but not so much a fan of David Lynch - director.  This movie showcases the deep humanity and compassion of David Lynch - person that I find lacking in the other films of his that I've seen.  Also I am a huge fan of sideshow freaks (complimentary).  The real Joseph (not John) Merrick willingly joined the carnival, rightfully concluding it was the only way for him to be able to earn a living.

This is a fascinating movie for a host of reasons.  It was produced by Mel Brooks who took his name off the film because he didn't want people to assume it was a comedy.  It was nominated for eight Academy Awards and is the reason we have a category for Best Makeup.  The cinematography is gorgeous and well-lit (!) despite being in black-and-white.  I was struck by the discordant sound design and I usually don't notice something like that in a film.  

It will not be for everyone.  There are points where it is a very hard watch, especially if you are sensitive to that sort of thing.  On a scale from 1 to Sarah MacLachlan dog commercial, this is probably an 8.  But it's also a great jumping off point to decide if David Lynch is for you.  It's streaming on the Criterion Channel.

I Know Where I'm Going (1945)

  Content warning:  dead animal (rabbit)

Joan (Wendy Hiller) has always known what she's wanted from life and gone after it with single-minded focus.  So when she decides to wed wealthy industrialist Sir Robert Bellinger (Norman Shelley), nothing is going to stand in her way.  Sir Robert has rented the island of Kiloran, the whole thing, in the Hebrides to the north of Scotland for their nuptials and Joan takes the English equivalent of planes, trains, and automobiles --in this case, train, ferry, and rowboat-- but finds herself stymied on the Isle of Mull due to weather, which stubbornly refuses to bend to her will.  Also trying to get to Kiloran is a Royal Navy officer, Torquil MacNeil (Roger Livesey).  The more Joan runs into Torquil, the less sure she is and the more her priorities shift, the more determined she is to correct them by getting back on track to her stated goals.  

This is another 40s rom-com and while I liked the story and the particular tropes (forced proximity, pride-and-prejudice, titled-but-poor) I didn't think Hiller and Livesey had any real chemistry together so their mutual declaration felt like a shock to them but also to me.  Also, the "curse" reveal ended up as kind of a shitty pun on the back of a legitimately horrifying backstory and that tonal whiplash was too much for me.  But if you're looking for a light, breezy Powell & Pressburger film shot on location, this one is lesser-known and available currently on the Criterion Channel.

His Girl Friday (1940)

  Content warning: racial slurs, attempted suicide

Walter Burns (Cary Grant) knows he has to do something big when his ex-wife and star reporter, Hildy Johnson (Rosalind Russell), storms into his office to announce that she's marrying a nice insurance salesman (Ralph Bellamy) and moving to Albany.  He convinces her to get a final interview for a man on death row scheduled to be hanged in the morning.  The Post has been running features and trying to pressure the governor into a reprieve in order to sway the upcoming election against the incumbent sheriff (Gene Lockhart) and mayor (Clarence Kolb).  Hildy knows it's a scam to get her to stay and reconcile with Walter but the story is too god to pass up. 

This is considered a screwball comedy because of how fast the dialogue is and how many sudden turns the story takes.  However, it is a little more mean-spirited than, say, Bringing Up Baby.  It is intensely cynical about the lengths reporters will go for a story, more like the comedy version of Ace in the Hole.  It is based on a play that was in turn based on a story written by two reporters and already had a film adaptation in 1931 under its original name, The Front Page.  For this version, the character of Hildy was gender-swapped and made into Walter's ex-wife, giving us one of the definitive performances of Rosalind Russell's career.  

By modern standards, these people are toxic, self-centered, and amoral.  But if you go in knowing that, this is still an incredibly funny movie.  It is blisteringly fast with jokes layered on jokes.  And not just from the main characters.  Nearly everyone (except Bellamy and Helen Mack, as the straight man and the emotional appeal, respectively) has unending quippy lines.  It is a classic comedy even if it stumbles as a romance.  It's streaming on the Criterion Channel and basically everywhere else because it's in the public domain.  It's even embedded in the Wikipedia page.

Lust in the Dust (1985)

  Content warning:  sexual assault (played as a joke)

Rosie (Divine) is just trying to get to the town of Chile Verde when she meets a handsome, silent stranger (Tab Hunter) headed the same way.  The stranger attracts a lot of attention, especially from Chile Verde's saloon mistress, Margarita (Lainie Kazan).  The town is known for a riddle involving a Scotsman's buried gold and everyone is out to get rich.

I was really hoping this was going to be hilarious but it is kind of awful.  This was one of the very few movies Divine ever made without John Waters and while he does everything he can to save it, there's just no escaping how bad it is.  I've seen porn parodies with better scripts.  It's not sexy or funny or even outrageous enough to be interesting.  You'll recognize almost every character actor in it which may tempt you, but I am here to warn you.  Stay away.  Let this molder on the trash heap of history where it belongs.  It's streaming on Tubi for free and still too high a cost.

The Croods: A New Age (2020)

  We're going to be charitable and chalk this up to a casualty of the pandemic.

Ever since the death of his family, Guy (Ryan Reynolds) has been searching for the far-off land of Tomorrow, a place of safety and abundance.  He loves Eep (Emma Stone) but finds the rest of the Croods overbearing.  Much to his elation, they stumble upon a walled garden inhabited by the Bettermans, friends of his family, and their now-teenaged daughter, Dawn (Kelly Marie Tran).  While Guy is made to feel right at home, the Croods face the brunt of the Bettermans' condescension.  Grug (Nicholas Cage) especially dislikes the estrangement, feeling that Eep is pulling away from the family.

Honestly, there's more to the plot but I literally got bored even remembering what happened.  I thought the first Croods movie was cute but this was a major step down.  It's overlong, overwrought, and not nearly as funny as it should have been.  The entire last third especially dragged and its the third with all the action and chase scenes.  I'm usually fine with kids movies being predictable, but waiting for them to get to the point they telegraphed was coming was excruciating.

A swing and a miss.  It's streaming on Peacock.

Carnival of Souls (1962)

 Happy Memorial Day!  Here's a movie about dead people.    

Mary (Candace Hilligoss) miraculously survives a terrible car accident that kills her two friends.  She moves to a new town and takes a job as a church organist but has recurring visions of a strange man (Herk Harvey) following her.  She feels it's somehow connected to an abandoned pavilion that once was a carnival and keeps returning to it, despite warnings from her boss (Art Ellison) and landlady (Frances Feist).

This isn't very substantive.  It's basically an extended Twilight Zone episode, but the vibes are absolutely impeccable.  Hilligoss is killing it as the disaffected Mary and the ghoul makeup is so simple but still really effective in black and white.  This would be a 10/10 instant buy if it weren't for the whiny loser who keeps bugging her for a date.  That guy was so annoying that I kept hoping a ghost would eat him.

It's considered a cult classic and I can see why.  It's moody and atmospheric without ever really being frightening, so it's good to show your horror-adjacent friends.  It's streaming on HBO Max, the Criterion Channel, and is also embedded into the Wikipedia article.  Score one for free education.

Brat (1997)

Content warning:  sexual assault, homophobic slurs, racial slurs, domestic violence

Danila (Sergei Bodrov, Jr.) has just completed mandatory service in the Army and is looking for a new path.  His brother, Viktor (Viktor Sukhorukov), has been working as an assassin for a gangster (Sergei Murzin) in St. Petersburg and outsources a hit to Danila.  Viktor knows that he's gotten a little too expensive and is hoping some new blood will throw off a possible double-cross.  Danila, flush with cash after a successful execution, seeks out life and music but the gangster is not so easily put off.

I didn't like this one as much as Assa.  It also meandered but less whimsically, which just made it boring instead of a journey.  Also, it didn't really feel like a complete story.  In an American movie, this would just be Act 1 and would probably only be a 30-minute montage of various criminal scenes to set up the rise of a new empire.  

According to Wikipedia, this was made for about $10,000 and it looks it.  Everything is appropriately grimy and DIY.  Music features very heavily, especially some band called Nautilus, who even make a cameo at a house party.  

There are better crime films and probably better Russian films.  This is not one to get very worked up over which is probably why it's not available for streaming outside of a VPN.