Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

This continues to be a surprisingly smart "stupid" movie.  This time I noticed that they made Napoleon seem like a total dick, but so did Ridley Scott, so...  Originally posted 01 Feb 2012.    I hadn't seen this movie in ages.  Probably not since middle school. 

Bill (Alex Winters) and Ted (Keanu Reeves) are high schoolers convinced that their band, Wyld Stallyons, will be the Next Great Thing.  As soon as they can get Van Halen on guitar.  Oh, and possibly learn how to play themselves.  But things do not look rosy as they are about to fail their history final and if they do, Ted's father (Hal Landon, Jr.) is sending him to a military school in Alaska.  Not to worry, though, because the boys are getting a little help from the future in the form of Rufus (George Carlin) and his time-traveling phone booth.  See, if Wyld Stallyons gets broken up, the future he comes from will not exist.  So the guys zip across space-time, kidnapping historical figures like Socrates (Tony Steedman), Billy the Kid (Dan Shor), Napoleon (Terry Camilliari), and Joan of Arc (Jane Wiedlin).  But will time run out before they can give their report?

I never noticed when I watched it as a kid that all the "historical" figures were restricted by language.  Socrates only speaks Greek, Napoleon only speaks French, Freud speaks English and German and so forth.  It's a small detail but a cute one and bravo to the film-makers for including it.  Granted, this movie is just a harmless piece of 80's frippery and you should definitely not expect mind-blowing things from it but it is still fun to watch.  There were a couple of lines that startled a laugh out of me but I'll admit that I'm not the target audience, nor have I ever been.  This was purely nostalgic for me.

Mischief (1985)

 Another day, another boring coming-of-age story.

Seventeen-year-old Jonathan (Doug McKeon) is desperately infatuated with classmate Marilyn (Kelly Preston) but is too afraid of rejection to approach her.  His new neighbor, Gene (Chris Nash) is a little older and a lot more knowledgeable when it comes to girls.  He takes Jonathan under his wing, mentoring him while also pursuing a love of his own in Bunny (Catherine Mary Stewart), the local rich girl.

If you like the 50s aesthetic as filtered through the 80s, you might enjoy this movie at least visually.  The story itself is paint-by-numbers.  The main character is bland and uninteresting.  The female characters are basically objects with no interior lives.  It even has the trope of the girl who takes down her hair and is suddenly hot.  Production design is good but you've seen better.  Forgettable nostalgia-bait but it is streaming for free on YouTube.

Breakin' (1984)

 Happy 4th of July!  Here's a movie about an American art form.    

Kelly (Lucinda Dickey) is a jazz dancer trying to break into a very competitive world.  For fun, she hangs out with breakdancers Ozone (Adolfo "Shabba Doo" Quiñones) and Turbo (Michael "Boogaloo Shrimp" Chambers).  When Kelly's dance teacher, Franco (Ben Lokey), sexually harasses her, she quits and forms a new dance group with Ozone and Turbo.  Kelly's agent, James (Christopher McDonald), is initially skeptical about breakdancing's mainstream appeal but gets the group booked for a very high-profile audition, where they must face off against Franco and his elite dancers.

This is the debut of Ice-T, in case you only know him as the Law & Order guy and might be the youngest performance I've ever seen of McDonald, most famous (probably) for being the antagonist in Happy Gilmore.  Also, yes, that is Jean-Claude Van Damme hanging out in the background of the Venice Beach dance sequence.

The plot is really simple and the performances are not great because almost no one in this was a professional actor.  However, the dance scenes are great and that is what matters here.  This movie paved the way for "white girl uses her privilege to highlight Black art" films like Save the Last Dance and Bring It On.  It's streaming on Amazon Prime.

Educating Rita (1983)

  The rom-com streak continues. 

Susan White (Julie Waters) is a hairdresser looking to better herself. She's not sure what she wants, except More.  So she decides to call herself Rita and begins taking lessons in literature from a Cambridge professor, Dr. Frank Bryant (Michael Caine), a disillusioned alcoholic. 

I was concerned this was going to be a gross Pygmalion story, kind of a modern My Fair Lady, but thankfully, it is not.  Waters is very good as Susan née Rita, channeling the vulnerability and desperation of seeing a life you don't want rolling out in front of you.  Caine is fine.  He's given better and worse performances.  There's a subplot about Bryant's girlfriend cheating on him with his friend that's clearly meant to be funny but comes off as tone-deaf.  The whole thing could have been cut and it would have changed nothing.

This is not available for streaming without a VPN, unfortunately, but it's surprisingly good for it's age so keep an eye out while you're sailing the Bay, matey, yarr.

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

Happy Father's Day!  Here's a completely unrelated movie.  This is one of my friend Bethany's favorite movies.  It's consistently rated as one of the best comedies ever made but I had never gotten around to watching it until this weekend.

Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) and Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) share a car from Chicago to New York and dislike each other immensely.  Over the next twelve years, they continue to run into each other, slowly growing to something approaching friendship.

It was nice to see Carrie Fisher again, even if it was just a supporting role.  I don't think this will ever be my favorite, but I didn't hate it.  The dialogue is still very funny and pretty timeless, which is great.  Obviously, it's a little overshadowed by the death of Rob Reiner but I think that will fade in time.  Crystal and Ryan are believable as characters and have solid platonic chemistry.  Really, the only detriment is that it's so iconic, it felt like a retread because it's been quoted, parodied, and referenced so many times.

This comes up perennially on streaming services but it's currently not on offer.  Keep an eye out though.

Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives (1986)

  Content warning:  blood, gore, worms/maggots

Tommy Jarvis (Thom Mathews) barely survived his encounter with Jason Voorhees (C.J. Graham) but managed to finally kill him.  That's not enough reassurance, however, so Tommy and his friend Hawes (Ron Palillo) dig up the killer's grave with the intention of burning the body.  Unfortunately, they accidentally turn Jason into an undead revenant --oopsies-- and set him loose on the unsuspecting inhabitants of Camp Forest Green née Crystal Lake.  

God, I love dumb, hilarious horror movies.  Full disclosure, I watched this out of order.  I've only seen the original Friday the 13th, but I didn't want to get left out of Movie Club so I skipped 2-5.  It's not a big continuity problem but I will probably go back and watch the ones in between at some point because I'm a completionist.

This isn't just so-bad-it's-funny, although there are plenty of cheesy moments.  It's actual meta-humor.  There's a fourth-wall break, two camp kids that are pre-pubescent Statler and Waldorf, and at least one character that explicitly mentions being in a horror movie.  It's really fun and requires zero brain power. The entire franchise is streaming on Paramount+.

The Elephant Man (1980)

  Content warning:  medical specimens, severe deformity, severe bullying, abuse

Dr. Frederick Treves (Anthony Hopkins) discovers a severely deformed man named John Merrick (John Hurt) being exhibited in a carnival freak show and bribes the showman, Mr. Bytes (Freddie Jones), to bring Merrick to the London Hospital for an examination.  Treves is later called back to the carnival because Bytes has beaten Merrick severely and then panicked that he might have killed his meal ticket.  Treves takes Merrick and installs him in the hospital but soon has to present a reason to his boss, Mr. Carr Gomm (John Gielgud), as to why Merrick can't be transferred somewhere else.  Treves believes Merrick is developmentally disabled as well as physically, but soon learns that Merrick is not only articulate, he is kind and artistic.  He's just been traumatized and abused for most of his life.  Treves immediately seeks to provide Merrick as normal a life as he can have.

There are really sweet moments in this but there are also a lot of horrifyingly bleak ones, too.  It really shows the range of human responses.  I'm a fan of David Lynch - person, but not so much a fan of David Lynch - director.  This movie showcases the deep humanity and compassion of David Lynch - person that I find lacking in the other films of his that I've seen.  Also I am a huge fan of sideshow freaks (complimentary).  The real Joseph (not John) Merrick willingly joined the carnival, rightfully concluding it was the only way for him to be able to earn a living.

This is a fascinating movie for a host of reasons.  It was produced by Mel Brooks who took his name off the film because he didn't want people to assume it was a comedy.  It was nominated for eight Academy Awards and is the reason we have a category for Best Makeup.  The cinematography is gorgeous and well-lit (!) despite being in black-and-white.  I was struck by the discordant sound design and I usually don't notice something like that in a film.  

It will not be for everyone.  There are points where it is a very hard watch, especially if you are sensitive to that sort of thing.  On a scale from 1 to Sarah MacLachlan dog commercial, this is probably an 8.  But it's also a great jumping off point to decide if David Lynch is for you.  It's streaming on the Criterion Channel.

Lust in the Dust (1985)

  Content warning:  sexual assault (played as a joke)

Rosie (Divine) is just trying to get to the town of Chile Verde when she meets a handsome, silent stranger (Tab Hunter) headed the same way.  The stranger attracts a lot of attention, especially from Chile Verde's saloon mistress, Margarita (Lainie Kazan).  The town is known for a riddle involving a Scotsman's buried gold and everyone is out to get rich.

I was really hoping this was going to be hilarious but it is kind of awful.  This was one of the very few movies Divine ever made without John Waters and while he does everything he can to save it, there's just no escaping how bad it is.  I've seen porn parodies with better scripts.  It's not sexy or funny or even outrageous enough to be interesting.  You'll recognize almost every character actor in it which may tempt you, but I am here to warn you.  Stay away.  Let this molder on the trash heap of history where it belongs.  It's streaming on Tubi for free and still too high a cost.

Assa (1987)

  Content warning:  homophobic slurs, racial slurs  One of Movie Club's members is in a Russian film and literature class so this week, we helped her with her homework, and indirectly helped me with this blog because I have been trying to catch up on TV while I'm waiting for my new job to start.  I've watched season 4 of Downton Abbey, season 1 of Severance, season 8 of Game of Thrones, tried to watch Carnival Row and bailed, and now I'm on season 3 of Sons of Anarchy.  

Alika (Tatyana Drubich) is on vacation with her gangster sugar daddy, Krymov (Stanislav Govorukhin), when she meets a young musician named Bananan (Sergei "Afrika" Bugaev).  While Krymov is running around setting up all his little schemes, Alika and Bananan see the sights of Yalta in winter.  

The plot is really very simple, but it's so meandering that it feels like it should be more complicated.  But it's just boy meets girl, girl has mobster boyfriend, mobster boyfriend gets jealous of boy.  Everything else is a distraction.  It's probably a metaphor for the dissolution of the Soviet Union and massive social change that happened in the late 80s/early 90s.  Cold War Russia is not one of my areas of expertise.  At least, not the parts that actually happened in Russia.  It also has a weird subplot about the assassination of a Tsar, again I assume a more heavy-handed metaphor.

If you are into music, this features a band called Kino that was apparently very famous for bringing Russian underground rock into the mainstream.  I don't even watch Eurovision so again, not my area.  

The whole thing is streaming on YouTube in very good quality, either in one complete shot or in two parts.  It was entertaining enough, in that cold, bleakly humorous Russian way.

A Christmas Carol (1984)

  Everybody has a favorite version of A Christmas Carol but this one is almost universally regarded as the definitive performance.  It's certainly the one I remember seeing the most.

Noted miser Ebenezer Scrooge (George C. Scott) is visited by the apparition of his dead partner (Frank Finley) on Christmas Eve and told that three more ghosts are coming to play This is Your Life, but in a bad way.  Scrooge is forced to confront his behavior and the chain of events that led him to this state.

Sure, Scott does most of the carrying but there isn't a single bad performance in this film.  Nobody plays a flat note, even the Dickensian cardboard cut-out side characters like the second-hand goods dealer.  Somehow that guy is just as interesting as Bob Cratchit.  Except, no, because Cratchit is being played by David Warner who managed to elevate The Secret of the Ooze.  But still.

Anyway, if you only ever see one Christmas Carol... it should probably still be The Muppets, but nobody is going to judge you for only seeing this one.  It's currently streaming on Hulu.

Prancer (1989)

  We are kicking off the Christmas season with some childhood nostalgia for a movie I had never seen.  Content warning:  80s child endangerment

Jessica Riggs (Rebecca Harrell) loves Christmas so much that when she comes across an injured reindeer in the woods, she is immediately convinced it must be one of Santa's.  Prancer, to be exact.  Her dad (Sam Elliott) is distracted by economic concerns and bewildered by the grief of losing his wife and having to raise two children on his own, so Jessica has a lot more leeway to hide and care for Prancer until it heals enough to rejoin Santa's sleigh.  

This is one of those movies where the meaning is entirely different depending on how old you are.  As a kid, this is a heartwarming story about how to stand up against adults when you know you're right.  As an adult, this is a harrowing tale of sublimating grief and unhealthy attachments.  

Movie Club was very complimentary of the naturalistic performance Harrell gives.  She doesn't have the preternatural poise of other child actors and is able to just be the 8-year-old she is playing.  That's great, except the 8-year-old she is playing is incredibly annoying.  Your tolerance for that may vary.  Mine is not high, so I found her grating.  The reindeer is great.  Probably an enormous pain in the ass to work with, but great result.  Cloris Leachman is criminally underused, and Sam Elliott is Sam Elliott.

Here's the nostalgia part:  I remember seeing promos for this movie as a kid.  The marketing was huge.  I don't think I actually watched it, but I vividly remember the trailers being on TV.  

It's streaming for free with ads on Tubi so you get the full, early 90s experience.

The Burbs (1989)

  Movie Club is closing out October with The Burbs, a not-quite horror comedy.

Ray (Tom Hanks) is trying to have a relaxing stay-cation but he is drawn into increasingly unhinged conspiracies about the reclusive new neighbors who are only seen at night, digging holes in the backyard, and having mysterious lights and noises from their basement windows.  

This holds up pretty well, better than I was afraid it would, because most of the humor is physical gags.  Hanks has always been a natural comedian and is unsurprisingly good here.  I wish they had given Carrie Fisher more to do and Corey Feldman less, but that's me.  Also a shout-out to the late Henry Gibson for playing the creepy neighbor with just the right amount of plausible deniability.  

It's only available to rent, unfortunately, unless you want to watch it in 5-minute increments as a YouTube playlist.  (It gets the job done but it's not pretty.)  It is considered a cult classic that I think gets overshadowed by Hanks' other suburban disaster movie, The Money Pit.  Give it a shot if you can.

Horror Watch 2025 - Day 19 - Cutting Class (1989)

  The 80s are responsible for a lot of garbage.  Content warning:  blood

Creepy kid Brian (Donovan Leitch, Jr.) is finally released from the mental institution where he spent the last five years after killing his father to finish his senior year of high school.  He has a crush on Paula (Jill Schoelen) who is unfortunately dating his ex-best friend, Dwight (Brad Pitt).  And then the murders start up again and wouldn't you know?  Brian is suspect number one.

There is a kernel of a very good horror comedy here and I bet it was probably better in 1989 (it feels like Scream especially owes a debt to Cutting Class) but holy shit, this has not aged well.  Paula's character giggles every time a male character sexually harasses her and has very little agency.  She mostly just gets pulled from one scene to another, usually half-dressed.  The tension between Leitch and Pitt is very strong and if the movie were a little braver, that subtext would be actual text.  Make that triangle a pyramid, you know what I'm sayin'?

I can't dismiss it out of hand because it does have something but I am issuing a strong word of caution.  It's streaming on Tubi, Freevee (or whatever nonsense Amazon is calling their free shit now), the Roku Channel, and Crackle with ads or on Kanopy with a library card.  I would actually suggest you lean into the trashy sleaze of it and watch with ads.  

Horror Watch 2025 - Day 10 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers (1988)

  It's not a Halloween horror watch without a legacy franchise sequel.  Also, I ran out of streaming services really quickly so we're back to my TBW list.  Content warning:  blood, some gore

Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur) was confined to a state facility after murdering a whole bunch of people in 1978.  Now, a decade later, he is being transferred to a different one.  It seems safe since he's in a coma after being shot and set on fire by his former psychiatrist, Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance).  But one of the transfer doctors casually mentions that Myers has a 7-year-old niece, Jamie (Danielle Harris), living in his hometown, which snaps him out of it pretty handily.  Refreshed and looking to once again end his family line, Myers powerwalks to Haddonfield.  Loomis knows Myers is Evil Incarnate and is not looking to add another tiny victim to his conscience.  He reaches out to the Sheriff (Beau Starr) as well as the local drunk vigilante group, because he is taking no chances.

This movie does not overstay its welcome, I can tell you that.  It is a tight 88 minutes and it gets right to the point.  It's also a lot more tame than I was expecting.  There's violence, sure, but not nearly as graphic or lurid as other entries.  There is a lot of crying, though.  Like a LOT.  

It's streaming on AMC+ which I get through Amazon.

UHF (1989)

  I didn't have anything to post yesterday because I DNF'd a bunch of stuff.  I've been having a hard time finding movies to watch lately.  Probably the aforementioned burnout.  Content warning:  some gore, animal death (dogs), child endangerment

George ("Weird Al" Yankovic) keeps getting fired from menial jobs for daydreaming until his uncle (Stanley Brock) lets him run the local UHF TV station, U-62.  George stumbles upon Stanley Spudowski (Michael Richards), a janitor fired from an evil network affiliate, and gives him a chance as host of a kid's show.  Stanley is an overnight success and catapults U-62 to the top of the ratings.  Evil Network Affiliate Boss (Kevin McCarthy) vows to crush the tiny upstarts.

Like a lot of 80s movies, there are aspects of this that have aged like milk and others that have remained staggeringly current.  If you saw Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, you probably already know if this style of humor is for you or not.  I liked it but I've been a Weird Al fan since I was in middle school.  

I'm not going to get super sappy about it, but it struck me that all of George's success comes from being kind and all of the villain's nastiness contributes to his downfall.  That sounds really simple, but a lot of modern shows and movies have moved away from direct narratives and more into post-modern and fatalistic "this is just how the world works; you can win for a little while but you'll eventually be ground down" mentalities.  Again, could just be the burnout talking but it was great just letting good guys win because they're good.  

Anyway, UHF is streaming on Kanopy for free with a library card. 

Lionheart (1987)

  You ever see something as a kid and it imprints on your little brain but then no one has ever heard of it and you can't find it anywhere so you start wondering if you made it up?  That's this movie for me.  I have an intensely vivid memory of watching this at home (my town didn't have a movie theater) so it must have been a rental from the corner gas station (I am extremely old, ladies and gentlemen) but I couldn't remember the name of it and no one ever seemed to know what I was talking about when I described it.  Thank God for IMDb because I was able to look up Eric Stoltz's entire filmography and find it a few years back to add to my TBW queue.  Because of course it's not streaming anywhere.  I feel like the only person who knew it existed (with the possible exception of Mr. Stoltz).  And that is a crying shame.  Because if you are between the ages of 9- and 12-years-old, this movie fucks.  Content warning:  child endangerment, blood, mild violence

Robert (Eric Stoltz) is a young nobleman desperate to join King Richard's crusade in the Holy Land.  He runs away from home and stumbles upon two circus kids, Michael (Dexter Fletcher) and Blanche (Nicola Cowper), heading to Paris.  Michael throws knives and Blanche sees the future in her dreams.  She recognizes Robert by his golden spurs and tells him his destiny is to meet King Richard the Lionheart by the sea.  There are dangers on the way, however, in the form of the Black Prince (Gabriel Byrne, looking all kinds of evil and fine), a notorious disillusioned knight who snatches children and sells them to the Moslems (I know.  It's lazy and racist.  Just grit your teeth.)  Robert must find allies and lead his charges to safety.

I cannot emphasize enough how many boxes this checked as a kid.  You had knights on white horses, kids with magic powers, kids with bonded animals (falcon), a female knight who's too badass to be tamed, played entirely straight with the kind of urgency that is super cringy in adults but seems completely natural to children.  It is basically Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with the cast of Oliver.

As I said, it's not streaming anywhere but LookMovie.to.  I found a DVD on Amazon for less than $9.  Physical media forever.

After Hours (1985)

  I'm going to consider this a corollary to Women's Horror.  Content warning:  suicide

Paul (Griffin Dunne) is a typical 80s yuppie.  He's stuck in a job that pays well but is boring with no upward mobility, and he's lonely.  During a bout of insomnia, he meets Marcy (Rosanna Arquette) at a diner and decides to try his luck.  Thus setting in motion a series of events that results in the worst night of his life.

Okay, so we previously defined Women's Horror as "what if we just showed what women's lives are like" and believe it or not, this counts.

Paul spends the majority of the night second guessing the intentions of every woman he meets, being hounded, harassed, and at one point literally imprisoned as he grows increasingly desperate for help.  Now, because he is a man, this is played for dark humor.  If he were a woman, this would be a slasher/thriller.  Which drags us back around to dark humor, actually.

This was directed by Martin Scorsese and it is probably the biggest outlier of his filmography.  He has made movies with humor before but never an out-and-out comedy.  Now whether you consider this to be successful as a comedy or not is entirely your perception.  It's streaming on Kanopy for free with a library card.

Predator (1987)

   This movie is awesome.  Content warning:  gore, blood, animal death

An elite group of soldiers goes into the South American jungle on a purported rescue mission only to find themselves hunted by an invisible alien.

I don't love the Predator series as much as I love Alien but I do still love it.  I re-watched the original recently for Movie Club and it remains hugely fun.  Everyone has huge muscles, is lightly oiled, and carries the biggest guns they possibly can while getting absolutely merc'd by an interstellar dentist on safari.  Amazing.

Melvin and Howard (1980)

  This did not win Best Picture at the Oscars, in case you can't read that tiny print.  It won with the National Society of Film Critics.  Content Warning:  domestic violence

Melvin (Paul Le Mat) is an average guy with maybe more optimism than brains.  The kind of guy who would help an old man (Jason Robards) out in the desert get to Vegas, but also the kind that can't stop himself from spending every dime he has on a boat when his wife (Mary Steenburgen) wins on a game show.  Years later, Melvin sees that the old man he helped was actually Howard Hughes and a mysterious stranger (Charles Napier) leaves him a Last Will & Testament handwritten by Hughes bequeathing Melvin $156 million.  

This is based on a true story.  A handwritten will purportedly by Howard Hughes showed up at the Church of Latter-Day Saints temple in Salt Lake City, Utah, naming Melvin Dummar a beneficiary.  It was eventually ruled a forgery.

This was directed by Jonathan Demme and won Steenburgen a rightly deserved Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.  It's not a bad film, although it really does highlight how ubiquitous domestic violence was in society.  Break out your VPN if you want to watch it, though, because it is not streaming anywhere.

She-Devil (1989)

  File this under "crap movies that I unironically love," if you must.  Content warning:  dead animal (gerbil, dog), urine

Ruth (Roseanne Barr) tries to be a good wife and mother but it's hard when she isn't appreciated.  Bob (Ed Begley, Jr.) is an upwardly mobile accountant embarrassed by her frumpy appearance and gauche manners, so when he gets a chance to hitch his star (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) to beautiful glamorous romance novelist Mary Fisher (Meryl Streep), he abandons Ruth with the children.  Ruth has had enough, however, and she is not about to take this betrayal laying down.

The defense would like to call its first witness:  the gender politics are not that bad, considering when this was made.  Yes, the movie relishes the fall of Streep's Barbie-like character more than Bob's but it's not like he gets off scot-free, and she kind of has a redemption arc from being a home-wrecker.

"But Roseanne Barr!"  I know.  It was 1989.  I can't fucking change that.  Just like I can't change the fat-shaming inherent in the film.  I will say that Ruth's "glow up" remains firmly in the realm of achievable and realistic.  She doesn't have a drastic makeover, she just looks like herself with better grooming and wardrobe.  (There's a whole separate gushing conversation about Mary Fisher's transformation, but I don't have time to get into it because I have shit to do today.)

Is this movie a little dumb, a little (very) silly, and hugely dated?  Yes.  But I love it and I don't care.  It's streaming for free with ads on Tubi, the Roku Channel, and PlutoTV.