Total Recall (1990)

In honor of Movie Club, I'm reposting this.  Originally posted 08 Jul 2012.    I know, it's practically a crime for me to have never seen this film, especially since the remake is coming out in about a month.  I remember flipping channels when I was a kid and seeing the part where he cracks his facemask on Mars and his eyeballs bug out and it completely creeped me out so I changed the channel.  The image stayed with me, though, as my young brain filed away moments like this for a later date when I would be able to understand them.  Now I know that scene is literally right after the opening credits and is nothing more than a nightmare of the protagonist.

Doug Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is an average dude with a blue-collar job and a smoking hot wife (Sharon Stone).  He keeps having recurring dreams, however, about mountain climbing on Mars with a brunette.  His wife thinks it's a reaction to watching constant news of the Martian colonies struggling with rebellion and advises him to turn the TV off for a while.  But when Doug hears an ad for Rekall, a company specializing in implantable memories, he can't resist taking off for a little faux vacation.  He signs up for the deluxe "secret spy on Mars" package and next thing he knows is that he's been dumped in a cab with no memory of where he was.  Then a co-worker inexplicably tries to murder him, telling him that his life has just been a cover-up implanted over his real memories which had been erased.  Which are that he's a secret spy from Mars.

No wonder he sounds like he's gargling rocks.  The man's had so much brain work done it's amazing he can walk without drooling all over himself. 

Doug escapes by yelling and swinging wildly at the stunt people until they all fall over and runs home.  He tells his wife the whole story and she immediately also tries to murder him because, wouldn't you know it, she's an evil secret agent too and she's really married to some other guy (Michael Ironsides).  Doug manages to escape and pick up a briefcase containing a video message from ...himself, or the self he used to be named Hauser.  Hauser was a secret agent who turned on his boss, Cohaagen, the governor of Mars (Ronny Cox), and got caught.  But before his brain got wiped, he made this video tutorial for himself about how to stop Cohaagen's evil plans. 

Doug/Hauser goes to Mars and meets up with the rebellion in the form of Melina (Rachel Ticotin), a prostitute who looks remarkably similar to the woman he keeps dreaming about.  They get shot at a lot but such is the business of trying to stop an evil corporate overlord, right?  Except that there's no guarantee that this is anything other than the stay-cation Doug paid for. 

When I heard they were remaking this movie, I thought "oh, great, Conan wasn't enough?  We gotta have another Total Recall too?" but after seeing it, I think it's ripe for a reboot.  This version did the best it could with practical effects (by the legendary Rob Bottin) and some early blue screen but we can take it so much further now.  From what I've read, it looks like the new one is dropping the Mars angle completely, and also going back to the original source ("We Can Remember It for You Wholesale" by Philip K. Dick) for inspiration. 

I can see why this version has its fans because it's fun in a completely campy way but I'm now looking forward to seeing what the new one will be like.

Pokemon the First Movie (1999)

Happy Labor Day!  Here's a movie about gladiatorial combat with cute, fuzzy creatures!  I am not the target audience for this movie.  I was too old when Pokemon came out.  But my partner is a huge fan.  He collects the cards, has all the games, goes to conventions, all the things.  Everything I know about Pokemon, I have learned through osmosis.  It's a surprising amount, though, because I was well-prepared to watch this movie.

Junior Pokemon trainer Ash Ketchum (Veronica Taylor) is having a picnic with friends when a mysterious invitation is delivered.  Someone calling themselves The Master is holding a grand tournament on a private island to see who can Be the Very Best, Like No One Ever Was.  Ash is very excited and heads out right away, only to be told that a massive storm has disrupted the ferry to the island and no one can cross.  Several other trainers see it as no obstacle, using their Pokemon to brave the hurricane.  Ash, Misty (Rachael Lillis), and Brock (Eric Stuart) do the same.  When they arrive at Kindergartner Kumite, they learn their host is actually a genetically engineered Pokemon named Mewtwo (Philip Bartlett) who has become obsessed with world domination.  He has staged this tournament in order to isolate the best Pokemon genetic sequences that he plans to clone and turn into his own private army.  The children are very upset by this because apparently forcing Pokemon to fight their clones is bad, despite it being the basis of their entire society.  Unsporting because it's an existential crisis, maybe?  Anyway, a literal actual demigod named Mew shows up, and everyone learns about the power of friendship.

This movie has a 17% on RottenTomatoes, which isn't really fair.  I don't know shit about Pokemon and I thought it was okay.  Actual fans probably really enjoy it.  I know my partner remembers seeing it in theaters at 10-years-old.  You can't tell him this isn't a cinematic masterpiece.  Anyway, Pokemon is a cultural juggernaut and you probably know at least one child who is super into it.  This is for them.  It's not currently streaming anywhere but the Blu-ray triple-feature with all the movies is like $10 on Amazon.

Fargo (1996)

  I didn't post last week because I had a couple of deaths in the family.  I can't believe I've never posted a review of Fargo but it got picked for Movie Club so I re-watched it.

Car salesman Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy) has a problem:  he has committed fraud and needs almost half a million dollars or he'll get caught.  He knows his father-in-law (Harve Presnell) has the money, so he comes up with a scheme to hire two criminals (Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare) to kidnap his wife, Jean (Kristin Rudrüd), and hold her for ransom.  Things do not go to plan and as the body count rises across multiple jurisdictions, police chief Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) begins pulling apart the various strands leading back to Jerry.

This was pretty much an instant classic when it came out and it continues to be held in high regard.  I have had my ups-and-downs with the Coens but I can't deny that Fargo is a great movie.  It's got the alchemy of a great cast, great writing, and great direction.  Sometimes you can have all three and still not work out, but when you do, it really is movie magic.  There are still some things I would change (because I'm an asshole) but not enough to even talk about.  If you've never seen it, you definitely should.  Also, the TV show is very good as well.  It's streaming on Kanopy with a library card or Tubi and Roku for free with ads.

Striptease (1996)

  This is one of the last few Christy-owned movies left in my queue.  It wasn't available for a long time but it just popped up on Paramount+ this month.  Content warning:  domestic partner violence, dead animal (snake, cockroach)

Erin Grant (Demi Moore) had to quit her secretarial job because her deadbeat ex-husband (Robert Patrick) cost her a security clearance so she has taken up stripping for money while she fights for custody of the couple's daughter (Rumer Willis).  This leads to an altercation between a handsy patron (Matt Baron) and a drunk Congressman (Burt Reynolds).  The Congressman is rushed out by his security but not before an enterprising stalker of Erin's, Jerry (William Hill), snaps a picture.  Jerry wants to blackmail the Congressman so he can White Knight himself into Erin's life, but doesn't realize Congressman David Dilbeck is being sponsored by a sugar baron and his hired guns.  Bodies start dropping and Miami detective Garcia (Armand Assante) finds Erin thong-deep in this mess.

This movie is fine.  It's bizarrely cast but that's (probably) part of the charm.  Ving Rhames is a scene-stealer and Robert Patrick is giving his all, but Moore is kind of wooden, Reynolds is in a different movie, and Assante seems mildly concussed.  The book is probably better.  Carl Hiaasen has written very good mysteries for many years.  But let's face it:  the only reason anyone saw this is because Demi Moore is playing a stripper.

I love strippers.  Every one I've ever met has been really cool and an extremely good judge of human nature.  Because it was the 90s, of course, the core of Erin's character has to be "oh no, when will I be able to quit stripping and be respectable" which is lame and self-loathing.  Real strippers deserve better representation.  But you could easily pair this with Hustlers as a double-feature and have a pretty good time.  Especially if you like Annie Lennox.

Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

  Content warning:  abuse

In fair Verona, nope.  In fair Loggins and Messina, no.  In some random Italian town where people have jobs like "Frolicker" and "Spoken Word Poet," Duke Leonato (Richard Briers) prepares to receive Don Pedro (Denzel Washington) and his entourage, fresh from winning a battle over Don John (Keanu Reeves), the prince's brother.  The duke is very excited about spending an enormous amount of time and money on an uninvited houseguest and his 40 best friends because he's hoping to catch the prince's eye with his daughter, Hero (Kate Beckinsale).  Don Pedro notices that his retainer, Count Claudio (Robert Sean Leonard), likes Hero and agrees to set up the match between them instead.  All seems well, so well that Don Pedro adds a side quest of getting his friend Benedick (Kenneth Branagh) and Hero's cousin Beatrice (Emma Thompson) to hook up.  But Don John, inexplicably allowed to walk around freely and consult with henchmen despite having just been arrested for treason, arranges to ruin the union by making it appear that Hero is unchaste.  Fuckery ensues.  Feelings are hurt.  Reputations are ruined.  Blood oaths are sworn.  And it looks like Don John is going to have the last (stilted, wooden) laugh until the humble friar (Jimmy Yuill) comes up with a plan to save the day.

This is one of my favorite Shakespeare adaptations but I will freely tell you that the gender politics of it are complete trash.  Also, Leonard and Reeves are woefully miscast and Michael Keaton is acting in a completely different film.  

But (!) if you can ignore those things and maybe drink a couple of glasses (bottles) of wine and break out the charcuterie board, this is still a really good time.  Thompson and Washington are the stand-outs here but the cast is filled with pros and it very much seems like everyone understood what they were doing and why.  I found the third act a little choppy in terms of pacing, but your mileage may vary.  Overall, it's a solid hazy summer movie with beautiful sets and very pretty people.  It's streaming on Tubi for free.  

The Mummy (1999)

You can really tell that I was on drugs when I wrote this.  This came up as a choice for Movie Club and I was very excited to revisit it.  

Egyptologist Evelyn (Rachel Weizs) is excited to find that instead of his usual junk, her brother Jonathan (John Hammond) has discovered a key from the lost city of Hamunaptra supposedly from someone who had actually been there.  Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser), a French Foreign Legionnaire turned adventurer, reluctantly agrees to serve as guide back to Hamunaptra after Evie frees him from his prison sentence.  Unfortunately, Rick isn't the only one who knows the location and a race ensues between two rival treasure seeking groups.  In their zeal to be the first to unlock all the city's secrets, the groups accidentally awaken Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo), a former advisor to Pharaoh Seti I who was cursed into undeath as a mummy.  Now, Rick, Evie, and Jonathan must discover how to stop Imhotep before he fully regenerates and spreads across the earth as a plague upon mankind.

 Originally posted 16 Jan 11.    As you may have surmised from the "Personal Collection" tag, this is one of my favorite movies.  Also, if you're a regular reader (and I have no idea if you are or not since no one ever leaves me any comments {except Christy}), you'll note that this means I have made it approximately halfway through my movie collection.  For those just joining, I watch my movies in alphabetical order.  Commence your judging.

I've been down with some sort of pestilence the past week and self-medicating with cherry NyQuil when at home and DayQuil when at work.  I do not respond well to drugs, possibly because I am undead or a robot, and have spent half a fortnight feeling fuzzy but irritable, like a spiky cloud.

It was in this mindset that I watched The Mummy.  I could only stay awake for about 20 minutes at a time, which means it took about 5 days to watch all the way through, but that was okay since I live alone and shun all human contact.

I actually felt quite a bit in common with the eponymous character this time around.  I, too, was greatly in need of fluids, everyone around me referred to me as a walking plague, and it was exceedingly difficult to get laid.  I was not, however, able to turn water into blood, achieve mastery over the sands, or command legions of insects.  I will keep trying.

Except for the bug thing.  I hate bugs.

Batman Returns (1991)

  This remains one of the best Batman movies of all time.  Let's say it was a formative experience for Baby Me.  Content warning:  clowns, attempted infanticide

Oswald Cobblepot (Danny DeVito) rises from the sewers as The Penguin and Gotham  department store magnate Max Shreck (Christopher Walken) sees an opportunity to challenge the current mayor (Michael Murphy) for control of the city.  Cobblepot has his own agenda but is flattered by the attention from normal citizens.  Meanwhile, Shreck's overworked, underpaid secretary Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer) awakens from her attempted murder with a good deal fewer reservations than she had previously, unlocking a dangerous alter ego.  With multiple villains running around, how will Batman (Michael Keaton) prioritize?

It's funny how this could have been super-dated but instead turns out to be insanely relevant with billionaires attempting to buy elected officials in order to continue exploiting the environment and people to enrich themselves further in the stupidest possible way.  And committing violence against women.  Love this timeline.

Anyway, this movie is a stone-cold classic and a Christmas film!  Very jolly!  You should own it.  But it is streaming on (sigh) Max which is almost as good.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

  I'm sorry, I just don't buy that anyone ever thought Hugh Grant was attractive.  

Charles (Hugh Grant) sees Carrie (Andie MacDowell) at a wedding.  Sparks and some bodily fluids are exchanged but then Carrie goes back to America and Charles loses track until another wedding where they are again both guests.  Over a year or so, the pair keep running into each other but the timing is never exactly right.

MacDowell is charming enough but most of the ensemble felt terribly underwritten.  I could not have cared about any of Charles' friend group and the humor felt very flat.  Kristin Scott Thomas was criminally underused, although John Hannah had a very good role.  In fact, for the mid-90s, this was great LGBT rep (even if it still falls prey to the Bury Your Gays trope).  

I am very clearly not the target audience for this.  I remember when it came out and it was all people could talk about.  My mom rented it.  I'm pretty sure she liked it.  But I was 13-ish and this held no interest for me.  Still, it won a bunch of awards so a lot of people must have enjoyed it.  Maybe you will too.  It's currently streaming on (sigh) Max.

Point Break (1991)

Movie Club has made a liar of me.  I swore I was never going to watch this movie again, but it got picked for last week and I (mistakenly) thought enough time had passed and I wouldn't be able to speak to specifics.  Except that the specifics don't matter!  Because this movie is dumb!  It's barely trying to be a Dramatic Buddy Cop thing because it's succeeding too hard at being an Overtly Homoerotic Star-Crossed Lovers thing.  This should have been airing on Bravo the way A Christmas Story was on TNT.    Obviously, Kathryn Bigelow went on to do bigger and better (?) things until they gave her an Oscar.  I'm not a huge fan of the stories she chooses to highlight but I think she's a good director.  It's currently streaming on Paramount+ and on Tubi for free.  Originally posted 04 Apr 16.    This might get me a lot of hate but it needs to be said:  Point Break is a terrible movie.  I'm not saying you can't like it because it's bad; I like all kinds of bad things.  Just recognize that it is bad.

FBI agent Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves) is a young hotshot trying to make a name for himself in the Los Angeles field office.  He is assigned to a gruff older partner (Gary Busey) who has a theory on a gang of bank robbers.  He believes that they are surfers who use the scores to fund their international wave chasing.  Utah agrees to go undercover and infiltrate the surfing community to determine who are the most likely suspects.  He meets a young lady (Lori Petty) and convinces her to teach him how to surf but it isn't until he meets surfing guru Bodhi (Patrick Swayze) that it all starts to click.

There is a lot that has been made out of this movie.  Christy used the word "bromance" in her description, and I think that's what a lot of people got out of it.  I wonder if they just blanked out everything after the whole "firing a gun in the air because you can't shoot your buddy" scene.  Maybe it's been romanticized because Patrick Swayze is just so damn cool.  The impulse is to make him out to be some kind of tragic Robin Hood-like figure.

Maybe it's me.  Maybe I missed how it's really about standing up to The Man or finding out how you respond under pressure and what that teaches you about life.  Maybe it's just a nostalgia thing for early 90's action movies and I am out of the loop because I'm only seeing it now.  I don't know.  The surfing and skydiving scenes were beautifully done and that might be enough to push it over the edge into guilty pleasure for you guys.

I thought it was a big, dumb action movie and I'm okay with that being all it is.  It's just not a big, dumb action movie that I could watch again.

Jawbreaker (1999)

  Another dud.  We are on a streak here.

A birthday prank goes wrong and Liz Purr (Charlotte Ayanna) ends up dead at the hands of her three best friends:  Courtney (Rose McGowan), Julie (Rebecca Gayheart), and Marcie (Julie Benz).  Their attempt to cover-up said murder is interrupted by social misfit Fern Mayo (Judy Greer), who just wanted to drop off Liz's homework.  Courtney decides to reinvent Fern as Vylette, newly hot and eager to ingratiate herself, but Julie starts having second thoughts as the lies spin ever faster and Vylette begins to assert her newfound dominance.  

This is basically a Heathers rip-off with More Male Gaze.  The characters are one-note and the note is flat.  Gayheart comes out the best of a bad bunch here as far as showing any kind of progression.  Greer is always good but underutilized.  Benz is horrendously annoying, and McGowan has played some version of the Mean Girl a number of times now.  There's also an icky cameo by noted abuser Marilyn Manson, who was dating McGowan at the time.  Don't waste your eyeballs on this.

It's only available for rental, thank God.  No need to inflict this on an unsuspecting public.

Tombstone (1993)

Somehow there are still people who have never seen this.  Several in my Movie Club, even!  Obviously, being the humanitarian that I am, I had to fix that.  

Doc Holliday and Mad Martigan are the two hottest roles Val Kilmer ever took.  Do not argue; I will fight you.  The showdown between him and Ringo is the highlight of the film.  Seconded by every scene with Kurt Russell threatening people.  I love this movie so much *sob*.  Originally posted 28 Jan 12.    I shouldn't even have to describe this movie.  I should just be able to put up the poster and have everyone recognize it as badass.  But there are still people who have never seen this movie.  Up until last night, Rob was one of them.  I can't say he was anxious to watch it since he's pathologically afraid of trying new things but I persevered.  He liked it.  Not as much as I thought he should have, but he was preoccupied with thoughts of Star Wars:  The Old Republic.  What can I do?

This tells the (highly embellished) story of the shootout at the OK Corral but starts months before that with the arrival of the Earp brothers and their wives to Tombstone, Arizona, a silver boomtown.  Middle brother Wyatt (Kurt Russell) had made a name for himself as a lawman in Kansas but retired and moved out west with his family to settle down and make money.  Not long after he arrives in Tombstone, he ousts a foul-mouthed card dealer (Billy Bob Thornton) from The Oriental saloon and takes over, beginning a lucrative job and running into his old friend Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer).  But things are not all wine and roses.  The town is under the thumb of The Cowboys, a mangy group of psychopaths led by Curly Bill (Powers Boothe).  After the US Marshal in town is shot, Wyatt's brother Virgil (Sam Elliott) steps up to take his place, with all three Earps earning the enmity of The Cowboys. The movie spirals into more and more bloodshed as grudges are settled and made anew.

There are so many stars in this movie it's ridiculous.  Everybody from Michael Biehn to Billy Zane.  I can only imagine how crazy casting must have been.  Still, it is one of the absolute best Westerns of all time.

Out of Sight (1998)

  This was last week's Movie Club pick, along with Jackie Brown as an Elmore Leonard double feature.  It was an interesting juxtaposition of two different directors handling similar source material.  So let's talk about Steven Soderbergh.  Content warning:  attempted rape, moderate gore

Jack (George Clooney), a bank robber, breaks out of prison but has the bad luck to be spotted by U.S. Marshal Karen Sisco (Jennifer Lopez) in the parking lot.  He takes the Marshal hostage and the two experience a brief moment of mutual attraction.  Sisco then makes it her mission to track Jack down and foil whatever plan he has.  Jack finds his schemes further complicated by an accomplice who can't keep his mouth shut (Steve Zahn) and a psychopath (Don Cheadle) intent on taking over the score: uncut diamonds held by Richard Ripley (Albert Brooks), a white collar criminal himself.

I had seen this before, probably when it came out or shortly thereafter but all I remembered was the chemistry between the leads.  Watching it this time, I was surprised by how depressing it actually is.  **SPOILERS** Jack is a career criminal adamant about Not Going Back to Prison.  So much so that the climax of the film is him attempting to have his law enforcement lover kill him as Suicide by Cop rather than be arrested.  **END SPOILERS**  There are cute, flirty elements but the crux is two people who can never be together without violating their principles.  And some laws.  

Clooney is excellent with every other cast member.  He is Charisma Personified, a fact that Soderbergh took full advantage of in every film he made with the actor.  This is early in Lopez's film career, just a couple of years after her star-making turn in Selena, and you can see the bones of what could have been a solid indie character actor that unfortunately, Soderbergh doesn't seem to know what to do with here.  Every Sisco scene without Clooney is flat.  It's clearly written to show that Sisco is a dedicated LEO but the camera can't stop tripping over her ass or legs or lips as she bounces around the screen in designer clothes.  That's not Lopez's fault.  

Soderbergh has always been much better directing men than women.  Compare Ocean's 11 with Erin Brockovich.  I'm not saying he can't direct women (although Side Effects would lean towards that), he's just much better at directing men.  

Out of Sight is currently only available for rental unless you have a VPN.  

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

  This week in Movie Club was Mrs. Doubtfire, a 90s comedy that has not aged all that well.  Content warning:  transphobia

Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) is an out-of-work voice actor who is suddenly, from a clear blue sky, confronted with a divorce by his wife, Miranda (Sally Field), after 14 years of constant complaint.  Due to his current state of job- and homelessness, Miranda is awarded full custody with an option for Daniel to be re-evaluated after 90 days.  Daniel decides that is too much injustice and instead has his makeup/VFX artist brother, Frank (Harvey Fierstein), make him a full-face latex mask and bodysuit, transforming Daniel into Euphegenia Doubtfire, English nanny.  Thus equipped, he infiltrates his ex-wife's house in order to still be around his unwitting children.  

If, like me, you grew up in the 90s watching this on repeat, you will still have fond nostalgia attached to it but that does not exculpate the film from being dangerously insane.  In much the same way as Fifty Shades of Grey being one billionaire away from a Criminal Minds episode, Robin Willians' charisma is all that saves Mrs. Doubtfire from being a Dateline special.  But it is Robin Williams and therefore no one is clamoring for Daniel Hillard to do jail time for the litany of crimes he commits in this film, including attempted murder.

God, the 90s were so weird about women.  This film was based on a novel written by a woman with two female scriptwriters and it's still horribly misogynistic.  Every woman in this is either a shrew or eye candy with no lines.  There's a heart buried in there and a fairly decent message of "Sometimes it just doesn't work out and it's nobody's fault" but you really have to dig.  

To its credit, the film does normalize Frank's relationship with his partner and none of the characters bats an eye over two gay (if heavily stereotyped) men in a committed family.  Which makes Chris's (Matt Lawrence) reaction to finding out his dad is cross-dressing as the housekeeper make no sense.  If you already know Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack do drag, why are you being weird about touching your dad's hand in drag?  (It comes right after a scene where Daniel uses the bathroom and doesn't wash his hands but that's not given as the reason for Chris's reluctance.)  I understand confusion, alarm even, but not the weird transphobia.

Anyway, your mileage on this will vary but it is currently streaming on Disney+.

The Last Time I Committed Suicide (1997)

  This movie was so 90s-dude-bro, I instinctively covered my drink.  Content warning:  suicide attempt, sex with a minor

Neal (Thomas Jane) is having trouble coming to terms with the attempted suicide of his girlfriend, Joan (Claire Forlani), so he's avoided seeing her in the hospital.  Instead, he spends all his time at the pool hall with his buddy Harry (Keanu Reeves) and hitting on underaged girls.  He finally gets a chance to start over and have the life of his dreams, only to discover that past decisions have far-reaching consequences.

God, this movie was insufferable.  It felt very amateurish, a fresh-out-of-film-school pretentiousness in editing, music, and direction.  The acting was frenetic without being dynamic, with a brittle cokehead quality clearly meant to be profound.  

It is based on a letter from the collection of Neal Cassady, who the movie will tell you was a major influential figure on Jack Kerouac and the beatnik set, even though Cassady was a minor player in terms of published volume compared to his peers.  That appeals to a certain set of men, the kind that think Catcher in the Rye is the Great American Novel in middle school only to become full-blown Hemingway stans by high school before devolving into generic Rand-spouting parrots by the end of their undergrad and taking a job in daddy's investment firm where they'll never have to read another book as long as they live.

I hate this movie, is what I'm saying here.  It's misogynistic garbage masquerading as philosophy and everyone involved went on to better things so it can safely be consigned to the toxic waste section of the ash heap of history.

It's streaming on the Roku channel for free, which is still too high a price.

Postcards from the Edge (1990)

Happy Pride Month!  Here's some camp!  This was supposed to go up yesterday but I got sucked in to watching like 7 episodes of Delicious in Dungeon so it didn't.  Content warning:  overdose, alcoholism, discussion of addiction

Suzanne (Meryl Streep) was born into Hollywood royalty as the daughter of legendary actress Doris Mann (Shirley MacLaine) but struggles with substance addiction and finding her own identity outside of her mother's shadow.  A near-fatal overdose sees her career jeopardized and the only way she can be covered by insurance is if she moves in with a responsible adult.  She doesn't know any so she's forced to live with her mother.

Carrie Fisher wrote the screenplay, which was based on her semi-autobiographical novel of the same name.  The movie feels so candid and realistic that it would be easy to omit the semi- part but that does Fisher an injustice as a writer.  She was immensely talented and consistently underrated.

Meryl Streep is Meryl Streep.  There's no praise that hasn't already been heaped on her.  For me, the stand-out of this movie, the star of the show is Shirley MacLaine doing the greatest Debbie Reynolds impersonation I've ever seen.  I was shocked to find out she got very little recognition for this part.  

Fisher, very famously, grew up under the scandal of her father, Eddie Fisher, leaving her mother, Debbie Reynolds, for real-life femme fatale Elizabeth Taylor.  Ironically, another famous cad, Warren Beatty, has his own six-degrees-of-separation in this.  Shirley MacLaine is his sister, his wife Annette Bening has a small role, and his ex-girlfriend Carly Simon did the music.  See, kids, Hollywood used to be so small all the actors had to rotate sexual partners.  You just had to wait your turn.

Shel Silverstein, yes, the same guy, wrote the ending song "I'm Checkin' Out" which got nominated for an Oscar.  Streep performs it in the movie, but Reba McIntyre was tapped for the ceremony and had to go out in front of a live audience and sing after learning her entire band had died in a plane crash.

We're talking Layers of Drama in and around this movie.

I caught this on the very last day it was streaming on the Criterion Channel but it's worth a rental if you can't find it anywhere else.

Funny Games (1997)

  Leave it to the Germans to weaponize politeness.  Content warning:  child death (off-screen), animal death (off-screen), mild gore, bullshit deus ex machina shenanigans

A family looking forward to a week at their lake house are terrorized by a pair of unnamed psychos.

This is supposed to be one of the Big Bads of French/German horror.  You will find glowing reviews calling it "blood-curdling", "terrifying", and suchlike.  But not here, baby!  

Don't get me wrong.  It starts off okay, ramping up the tension as the family slowly realizes that they are in serious trouble.  But then it stalls out for like 40 of the most boring minutes in the history of film.  And the last ten minutes are a smug, condescending, cheap cop-out.  I'm not going to spoil the twist, but know that I hated it.

This isn't as good as You're Next or even The Strangers.  But a lot of people who aren't me liked it a whole bunch so maybe you will too.  It's streaming on (sigh) Max and the Criterion Channel.  There's a shot-for-shot American remake if you don't feel like reading subtitles.

The Man in the Moon (1991)

  We continue our Weekend of Women, I guess, with another coming-of-age story, this time debuting a baby-faced Reese Witherspoon.

Fourteen-year-old Dani (Reese Witherspoon) has a crush on the boy next door, Cort (Jason London).  He (correctly) thinks Dani is too young for him and sets his eyes on her older sister, Maureen (Emily Warfield), sparking jealousy between them.

Honestly, this movie is pretty stupid.  Maureen states that she's going to college in like two weeks so all Dani has to do is wait and she'll have Cort's undivided attention with zero fuss.  But that's not apparently the point of the movie.  Anything more involves a major spoiler.

Cort feels icky about a three-year age gap between him and Dani, which plays well to modern viewers but is not apparently a sentiment shared by the camera, which delights in lingering over her pubescent body.  It's not quite as egregious as Fear but it's close.

If you grew up with this movie or it resonated with you for whatever reason, you probably still like it.  It's not nearly as condescending as some coming-of-age stories I've seen.  The only casting note is that Sam Waterston feels like the wrong choice to play Dani's dad.  He doesn't project authority to me.  Everybody else is fine.  

It's currently streaming on Kanopy.

Mermaids (1990)

  Finally, a coming-of-age story I semi-relate to!  Mostly because I, too, went through a phase in my teens where I wanted to be Catholic (specifically stigmata).  Then I got a little older and realized what I actually wanted was Attention.  And divine favor, which is really just Attention+.  Anyway...  Content warning:  child endangerment (drowning)

Charlotte (Winona Ryder) is a nice Jewish girl desperately wishing she could be a Catholic nun and tired of moving across the country every time her free-spirited mother (Cher) gets dumped.  When they land in a small town near Boston, her problems are intensified by a hard crush on the caretaker (Michael Schoeffling) of the local convent.  Her mom hits it off with a shoe salesman (Bob Hoskins) but her pathological fear of commitment stands to ruin both her's and her daughter's relationship.  

I remember watching this as a (very literal autistic) kid and being bitterly disappointed that there are no actual mermaids.  It is not a fantasy film at all.  So just in case you too were misled by the title.  I still have no idea why it's called this.  It's based on a book so I'm assuming it gets explained there.

The performances are mostly great.  Cher and Hoskins are magnetic together and this is the debut of tiny Christina Ricci, who is also good considering she's like 8-years-old.  I love Winona Ryder but Charlotte's voiceover/internal monologue was irritating as fuck.  I don't think I'd ever watch it again, now that I've completed it (I left it unfinished when I was a kid and it has always bothered me because autism) but it's not terrible if you like period pieces --the 1960s, New England in the fall, Cher, Bob Hoskins, or problematic age gaps.  (The caretaker is 27 or 29 and Charlotte is 15.)  It's currently streaming on (sigh) Max.

Jackie Brown (1997)

  I don't get why this is considered a classic.  It's fine? I guess, but I wouldn't call it something to write home about. 

Stewardess Jackie Brown (Pam Grier) is stuck between a rock --her gun runner boyfriend Ordell (Samuel L. Jackson), for whom she ferries money back and forth to his partner in Mexico-- and a hard place --the ATF agent (Michael Keaton) who will bust her for possession if she doesn't cooperate in their sting to take Ordell down.  But Jackie is nobody's fool and with a little help from a lovestruck bail bondsman (Robert Forster), she might just turn the tables.

This feels like a period piece of the mid-90s.  Tarantino is a lot of things but you can't say the man isn't consistent with the things he likes.  Including feet.  It's basically one of his auteur trademarks at this point.  This one just didn't gel for me.   It feels like a debut that's a little unsure, a little off-step, but a solid start for growth.  Finding out this was actually his 3rd feature was a little bit of a shock.  IMDb says that he drastically toned down the violence after receiving criticism and maybe that's what makes this feel like a weaker entry.  

If you want to see it, it's leaving Tubi on April 30 so you might want to hurry.

Back to the Future Part III (1990)

  This is my favorite of the trilogy but I was having trouble articulating why until I realized that this puts the focus back on Doc.  Christopher Lloyd is THE reason to watch this and he gets way more screen time in this, as opposed to Part II, and even more than Part I.  

After receiving a letter telling him that Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) was accidentally transported to 1885, Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) is seemingly stuck.  He finds the Doc Brown of 1955 and convinces him to help repair the DeLorean that 1885 Doc helpfully buried in an abandoned mine.  The pair stumble across 1885 Doc's grave, with a death date only a few days after the letter was written.  Instead of returning to his original time of 1985, Marty decides to go back a century and save his friend.    

Not only does this rectify the previous film's mistake of Not Enough Doc Brown, it also provides him a love interest!  The (frankly, not terribly well-written but a step in the right direction, kind of a Manic Steampunk Dream Girl, if you will) schoolteacher Clara Clayton, played by Mary Steenburgen.  Their romance was way more compelling than Marty's terrifying constant brushes with incest or abandonment of the conveniently unconscious girlfriend.  

It wrapped up all the threads of Part II and provided a satisfying conclusion to the trilogy.  And so far, nobody has tried to remake, reboot, or reimagine it, thank God.