I know I said I wasn't going to do another one of these but then my friend was like "Let's do another one!" and I was like "Oh no" and she was like "Oh yeah" and I was like "why did you turn into the Kool-Aid Man and who's going to fix that hole in my wall?"
Ashley (Britt Roberson) was a Broadway dancer in the annual holiday show, Jingle Belles, for 14 years, until she was replaced mid-season by a younger dancer (Bella Shephard). Lacking other options, Ashley returns to her small home town only to find that her parents' bar, The Rhythm Room, is financially underwater and if they don't get $30,000 by January 1st, it'll get turned into a juice bar. So Ashley decides to put on an all-male revue, recruiting a hot handyman (Chad Michael Murray), hot bartender (Colt Prattes), hot brother-in-law (Marc Anthony Samuel), hot cab driver (Hector David, Jr.) and hot barfly (Maxwell Caulfield). She teaches them like six routines in 2 days and turns them loose to rave reviews and an audience of twelve people. Somehow, they still make money and it seems like all Ashley's plans are working out until she gets a call from her old boss (Meredith Thomas) offering her a raise and her job back if she will ditch that town and do the big Christmas show with the Jingle Belles.
I don't even know where to begin. This is a movie for people that thought Magic Mike XXL had too much plot and characterization. It's so two-dimensional it should count as an animated feature. Nothing in this made sense. A trope-y script is a given, I understand it's part of the draw of this kind of movie, but even the tropes made no sense. Nobody fires their headliner without cause midway through a performance season. But the movie is so committed to Ashley being blameless, because otherwise they'd have to add actual dialogue and humanity to basically a paper doll in a slouchy hat. Also, everybody's hair is weird and plasticky.
Clearly, I am not the audience for this. I hope everyone involved had a very nice time on set and got paid a lot of money. That's the only reason this should exist. It's streaming on Netflix. You can do better.