Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

  This is another one of those films from the 80s that I completely missed growing up.  Unfortunately, the sensibilities espoused within have mostly not aged well and watching it now (minus one exceptionally hilarious cameo) is mostly an exercise in cringe.  (Sorry, Hollie!)

After being stood up, teenager Chris (Elizabeth Shue) takes a babysitting job for two kids in the suburb, Sara (Maia Brewton) who is obsessed with Thor, and Brad (Keith Coogan) who is obsessed with Chris.  After about five minutes of being in the house, Chris receives a panicked phone call from her friend, Brenda (Penelope Ann Miller), who has run away from home, run out of money, and is stuck in a train station in the middle of Chicago.  Chris agrees to come get her so Brenda won't have to call her parents and the two kids plus Brad's obnoxious friend Daryl (Anthony Rapp) tag along for the ride.  On the way into the city, Chris's car has a blow-out sparking a chain reaction of events ranging from dangerous to highly improbable.

I don't know if it's because I never lived in a suburb growing up but this concept of people being terrified to venture more than fifteen miles from their houses is unreal to me.  Chris and the children have such extreme reactions to every single stranger they meet it's hard to believe they aren't shut-ins from a bunker somewhere. 

And yet, when faced with actual potential danger they are somehow completely nonplussed.  Chris gets hit on repeatedly by a guy (George Newbern) at a frat party who does not back off even after she tells him she is in high school and eventually follows her to the house she is babysitting but that is treated as charming and endearing instead of a PSA against date rape.

Also, the fascination of yuppie white kids with being allowed entrance to and finding acceptance in predominantly black spaces is an 80s trend that should never be revisited.  Chris and the children manage to sneak into a blues club and are told they cannot leave without singing the blues.  Chris comes up with a narration on the spot that viewers are to believe is so relateable that not only are they not booed off-stage, they are celebrated with applause and encouragement.  Weird Science has a similar scene where Lisa takes the boys to a blues club to prove they are "cool" by gaining acceptance therein.  I would like to think that is deliberate irony but it's probably just racism. 

The only thing that made this movie worthwhile was Vincent D'Onofrio's cameo as a mechanic who bears a striking resemblance to a certain god of thunder.  I don't think I have laughed so hard in my whole life.