Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)

  If you grew up watching this on TV in the 90s, like I did, I urge you to find an unedited version.  The full movie is almost two and a half hours and TV cut so much for time and content.  

Homeless orphans Carrie (Cindy O'Callaghan), Paul (Roy Snart), and Charlie (Ian Weighill) are sent to the  English countryside during WWII.  They end up in the reluctant care of Miss Price (Angela Lansbury), a spinster heiress pursuing witchcraft as a solution to the Nazis.  But the war has necessitated the closure of her correspondence course, so she takes the three children to London via a magical bed (which sounds like the worst euphemism but it's not) to find her professor, Mr. Emelius Brown (David Tomlinson), and get the final spell she needs.

I cannot overemphasize how much of a disservice the TV edit is to the original.  It removes so much context, character building, and at least one entire musical number while cutting others down sharply.  If you watched this as a kid and thought it was mid- to lower-tier Disney, please give it another try.  If you still don't like it, that's fine.  

Hopefully, the full version is on Disney+.  I have no idea.  I bought this on DVD ages ago.

Funny Lady (1975)

  This is the sequel to Funny Girl, the Fanny Brice biopic.  

After her disastrous relationship with Nick (Omar Sharif) ends, Fanny Brice (Barbara Streisand) just wants to throw herself into her work.  Unfortunately, Ziegfield's is closing and finding a new show is difficult.  A new impresario, songwriter, club owner, and general entertainment polymath named Billy Rose (James Caan) wants to design an entire show around Fanny but personality-wise, they are oil and water.  As always, success comes at a price.

This is also a musical, but the songs aren't nearly as good.  Partly because Caan isn't a singer.  Streisand could have carried the entire movie but it would have been nice to have her duet with someone who could match her.  Costumes are top-notch and there are some very lovely sets and shows-within-a-show, especially the synchronized swimmers but this definitely feels like a lesser entry.

It's not currently available on any services, except to rent or buy.  Dust off your VPN, I'd say, rather than pay actual dollars for this.

In other news, I watched the miniseries Escape at Dannemora, about two prisoners serving life sentences who escaped from a prison in upstate New York after seducing a worker in the textile sweatshop.  It's a monumentally depressing series and an indictment of the for-profit prison system in general.  But it is competently told with excellent performances from Paul Dano, Benicio del Toro, and Patricia Arquette.  Currently streaming on Paramount+.

I tried to watch Melvin at Dinner, an independent film directed by Bob Odenkirk, but it was so fucking boring I couldn't make it more than 30 minutes.  I also DNF'd an Australian film from 2007 called Vigilante.  It is Margot Robbie's debut, but everything else about it is terrible.  And I made it about one and a half episodes into Club de Cuervos, one of Netflix's first "original" shows but I was not in the mood to suffer through the amount of misogyny required of a Mexican soccer show.  Ted Lasso it ain't.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette? (2019)

  I assume the book is better.  Content warning:  miscarriage (discussion)

Once a rising star in the architecture world, Bernadette Fox (Cate Blanchett) has been living in obscurity with her insanely wealthy family in Oregon, rapidly becoming an antisocial borderline agoraphobe, until her daughter, Bee (Emma Nelson), announces that she'd like to do a family trip to Antarctica.  Preparations bring Bernadette's marital, social, and legal problems to a head as it's discovered her "digital assistant" is actually a crime ring and her husband (Billy Crudup) thinks she should be committed.  So Bernadette vanishes, leaving Bee to reconstruct her mother's likely decisions.

This is meant to be heartwarming but the dialogue feels so fake and contrived, it's hard to acknowledge any actual emotion.  The novel this is based on is by Maria Semple, but she was not listed as one of the screenplay writers.  Having not read the novel, I don't know if the dialogue is the same as the book.  I hope not.  No offense to Newman, but it would have taken a much stronger actress to make Bee's lines remotely believable.  Anything good in this movie comes from Blanchett, who gives it her all, as usual.

It's not terrible, but it's not one I'd rush to rewatch.  It's streaming on the Roku Channel with ads.

To Be or Not to Be (1942)

  This was a Movie Club pick from last week but I had to get through some other stuff first.  

Polish WWII resistance learns that a supposed ally, Professor Siletsky (Stanley Ridges), is actually a German spy about to present a list of family and friends of Polish RAF officers to the Gestapo.  A pilot, Lieutenant Sobieski (Robert Stack), has flown to Warsaw and used his pre-war connection to famed actress Maria Tura (Carole Lombard), now leading the resistance, to have her intercept Siletsky.  Tura's husband, Josef (Jack Benny), pretends to be the Gestapo commander to get Siletsky to hand over the documents.  Identities switch back and forth as Josef and Maria give the performances of their lives.

So the plot does not give an indication of how funny the movie actually is.  It's a comedy about how dumb the Nazis are and that seems really relevant today.  Sometimes the only way to combat evil is to point out how ridiculous it is.  Lombard is luminous in this, effortlessly seducing every single man she comes across.  Normally, it would seem like lazy writing that she's just so beautiful men fall over themselves to offer her state secrets, but with her it seems completely believable.  

It does feel a little dated, mostly because everyone has a different accent and that's just not addressed at all, but it is still very good and remains funny thanks to a very sharp script and fast, glib dialogue.  

There is a 1983 remake starring real-life husband and wife Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft that is also very good.  Either version is well worth watching, but the 1942 one is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel, Kanopy, and (sigh) Max.

Brighton Rock (1947)

  The poster is washed out but that's a baby Richard Attenborough.  

A gang leader (Richard Attenborough) bumps off a journalist (Reginald Purnell) but finds out there's a witness, a waitress named Rose (Carol Marsh), that can throw off his carefully constructed alibi.  He decides to cozy up to the girl, easily winning her over despite pressure from a nosy small-time theater performer named Ida (Hermione Baddeley).  Ida had met and liked the dead journalist and didn't believe the suicide story being floated by the cops.  She took it upon herself to figure it out, following the breadcrumbs right to Rose and her new beau.  

It's so funny to watch old movies and realize that absolutely zero things have changed.  All Ida needed was a podcast and she could have been an OG true crime legend.  

If you're into noir at all, this should be part of your curriculum.  The story is a little underwritten, I think, but the performances are all really solid.  It's streaming on Kanopy with a library card, the Criterion Channel until the end of the month, and (sigh) Max.  Give it a shot.

Three Identical Strangers (2017)

  I had my eye on this documentary for a while but it was on/off various streamers and I couldn't get a hold of it.  I think it overplays the "mystery" angle but it's still worth watching.  Content warning:  suicide (discussed)

Bobby Shafran grew up in upstate New York and went to a local community college, only to be completely confused his first day by how well-known he seemed to be.  Turns out he was a dead ringer for a guy named Eddie Galland who had dropped out the previous year.  The two met, compared backstories, and discovered that they were twins separated at birth and adopted into two different families.  The local news picked up the story as a feel-good piece and it made its way through the wire to David Kellman, living in Long Island, who picked up the paper and saw his own face in duplicate.  The three young men met, instantly connected, and began building their lives around one another.  Their respective families hit the roof and initiated proceedings to sue the adoption agency for failing to disclose that the boys were a matched set but were stonewalled.  It took a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist to break open the real story.

I don't want to spoil it for anyone because the movie does go to some lengths to tease this out.  I don't agree with this choice, I think it weakens the ending, but that's me.  It's currently streaming on Tubi with ads.

Palm Springs (2020)

  This was better than I thought it would be.  It got nominated for two Golden Globes and won the Critics Choice award for Best Comedy but 2020 was a shit year so my expectations were still really low.

Sarah (Christina Milioti) is Maid of Honor at her sister's (Camila Mendes) wedding and is just trying to hook up with moderately charming guest, Nyles (Andy Samberg), when he is shot by a bow-wielding lunatic named Roy (J.K. Simmons).  She follows him into a glowing cave only to find that this has now trapped her in a time loop, reliving the same day over and over.  Nyles, who has been stuck in the loop for God knows how long, explains the ropes:  nothing matters, choices are immaterial, and the future is forever but always the same.  Slowly, these two immature adults grow as people while confronting their own demons and Roy, who is pretty pissed about the whole "trapped in time" thing.

This leans into the nihilistic humor of Groundhog Day but manages to not lose the kernel of hopefulness that underlies that movie.  Samberg is Samberg and your mileage will vary on how much you enjoy his particular schtick, but Milioti is very good in this.  It's not a bad hungover/sick with a cold watch either.  It's light, entertaining, and isn't going to tax any brain cells.  Currently streaming on Hulu.

Hundreds of Beavers (2024)

  This was hugely popular in Movie Club but I will flat tell you, I didn't like it.  I don't care for slapstick.  Never have.

An alcoholic Apple Jack brewer (Ryland Brickson Cole Tews) must learn to become a fur trapper after beavers destroy his brewery, leading him on an epic journey to find love and purpose.

It's shot in black and white, mostly silent, and has early cartoon energy that takes a joke and keeps repeating it in more and more absurd ways.  Like I said, went over huge with normal people.  It's gotten a lot of word-of-mouth recognition and is poised to become a cult classic in the next ten years.  It was not for me.  However, if it seems like something you will like, I encourage you to seek it out on Kanopy with a library card, or Tubi with ads.  

97th Oscar Nominations (2025)

 So far, this month has been a shitshow and I have been struuuugglinnnnnng.  Similarly, the Oscars were supposed to be announced on Monday but got pushed back to today because of fires.  Like the dumpster fire that is my life.  Anyway, here's some nominees.

Best Picture

Anora
The Brutalist
A Complete Unknown
Conclave
Dune: Part 2
Emilia Perez
I'm Still Here
Nickel Boys
The Substance
Wicked

Best Supporting Actor

Yuriy Borisov - Anora
Kieran Culkin  - A Real Pain
Edward Norton - A Complete Unknown
Guy Pearce - The Brutalist
Jeremy Strong - The Apprentice

Best Costume Design

A Complete Unknown
Conclave
Gladiator II
Nosferatu
Wicked

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

A Different Man
Emilia Perez 
Nosferatu
The Substance
Wicked

Best Original Score

The Brutalist
Conclave
Emilia Perez
Wicked
The Wild Robot

Best Live-Action Short

A Lien
Anuja
I'm Not a Robot
The Last Ranger
The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent

Best Animated Short

Beautiful Men
In the Shadow of the Cypress
Magic Candies
Wander to Wonder
Yuck!

Best Adapted Screenplay

A Complete Unknown
Conclave
Emilia Perez
Nickel Boys
Sing Sing

Best Original Screenplay

Anora
The Brutalist
A Real Pain
September 5
The Substance

Best Supporting Actress

Monica Barbaro - A Complete Unknown
Ariana Grande - Wicked
Felicity Jones - The Brutalist
Isabella Rossellini - Conclave
Zoe Saldaña - Emilia Perez

Best Original Song

"Never Too Late" - Elton John: Never Too Late
"El Mal" - Emilia Perez
"Mi Camino" - Emilia Perez
"Like a Bird" - Sing Sing
"The Journey" - The Six Triple Eight

Best Documentary Feature

Black Box Diaries
No Other Land
Porcelain War
Soundtrack to a Coup d'Etat
Sugarcane

Best Documentary Short

Death by Numbers
I Am Ready, Warden
Incident
Instruments of a Beating Heart
The Only Girl in the Orchestra

Best International Feature

I'm Still Here - Brazil
The Girl with the Needle - Denmark
Emilia Perez - France
The Seed of the Sacred Fig - Germany
Flow - Latvia

Best Animated Feature

Flow
Inside Out 2
Memoir of a Snail
Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl
The Wild Robot

Best Production Design

The Brutalist
Conclave
Dune: Part 2
Nosferatu
Wicked

Best Sound

A Complete Unknown
Dune: Part 2
Emilia Perez
Wicked
The Wild Robot

Best Visual Effects

Alien: Romulus
Better Man
Dune: Part 2
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Wicked

Best Actor

Adrien Brody - The Brutalist
Timothée Chalamet - A Complete Unknown
Coman Domingo - Sing Sing
Ralph Fiennes - Conclave
Sebastian Stan - The Apprentice

Best Actress

Cynthia Erivo - Wicked
Karla Sofia Gascon - Emilia Perez
Mikey Madison - Anora
Demi Moore - The Substance
Fernanda Torres - I'm Still Here

Best Directing

Jacques Audiard - Emilia Perez
Sean Baker - Anora
Brady Corbet - The Brutalist
Coralie Fargeat - The Substance
James Mangold - A Complete Unknown

A lot of overlap here from the Critics Choice and Golden Globes, as to be expected.  Feeling pretty good about myself for having seen 3 Best Picture nominees already.  That's way more than usual.  

You guys know the drill by now.  This blog is now Oscar central until March 2.  Check back here for... I was going to say updates but that's kind of dumb since you'll be able to see all the posts from the side menu there.  I guess check here to see how many I get done?  All in one convenient list?  

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

  This was one of the Oscar nominees I didn't get to last year and I missed it again when it came up in Movie Club, so this has been kind of a catch-up week for me.  (Also, I completely missed the nominations for both the Golden Globes and the Critics Choice Awards so my TBW list has jumped up like 100 slots.  Thank God the Oscars don't drop until the 17th.)  

Koichi Shikishima (Ryunosuke Kamiki) chickened out of being a kamikaze pilot at the end of WWII, landing instead on a small island for "repairs" and inadvertently witnessing a local monster, Godzilla, which rampaged over the island and killed all the maintenance workers.  Shikishima returned to a war-torn Tokyo to find that his family is dead and his neighbor (Sakura Andô) hates him.  He takes in refugee Noriko (Minami Hamabe) and orphaned Akiko (Sae Nagatani) but refuses to allow himself to care for them.  And then Godzilla returns, angry over nuclear testing and even larger than before.  Shikishima needs to come up with a plan to stop the giant lizard before it ruins his life even further.

Maybe this was just overhyped to me, but I didn't think it was nearly as good as Shin Godzilla.  It felt more cynical, more depressed, and more like a Jaws riff than a Godzilla movie.  Maybe because Shikishima is not a sympathetic protagonist?  Nothing about this worked for me.  

It has a ton of critical acclaim and won the Oscar for Best Visual Effects so clearly other people like it.  It's streaming on Netflix.

The Man with the Iron Fists 2 (2015)

  This has nowhere near the level of quality as the first one but that did not bother me in the slightest.  It is a big, dumb, poorly written martial arts extravaganza in the style of the Shaw Brothers and I enjoyed it.  

On a quest to find inner peace, Thaddeus (RZA), the man with the iron fists, stumbles into a small mining village run by an evil gang called Clan Beetle.  The mayor (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) is ineffectual and the local union leader (Dustin Nguyen) is trying to avoid a violent showdown so he doesn't have to confront his own past.  Oh, and the ghost of some evil dude looking for immortality is killing young women, but nobody super cares about that until it's too late.

Yes, this does feel like an extended episode of Kung Fu: The Legend Continues.  This is a feature, not a bug, but your mileage may vary.  Some people's comfort media is romantic comedy, mine is martial arts.  Tropes abound, including classics like Lone Hero Reluctantly Takes Up Arms Again for Worthy Cause, Average Guy Hides Previous Occupation as Sociopathic Badass, Honor Challenges in the Octagon, Beautiful Highly Useless Girl with Astonishingly Stupid Name Gets Kidnapped/Held Hostage, and (a personal favorite) Ancient Monk Drops a Beatdown on Fools While Espousing Non-Violence.  That is my emotional support Wire Fu, please leave it alone.

Sadly, this did not get any kind of support or cult following so it's much harder to find.  You're going to have to dust off the VPN or shell out some money to rent it.  This was obviously a labor of love for RZA, and frankly, more millionaires should have silly creative outlets like this.