SuckerPunch (2011)

Don't let the poster fool you.  This movie sucked.  And I was so excited about seeing it.  I had been looking forward to this release since last summer.

It's less of a sucker punch and more like a slap in the face.

I will say that I didn't like 300 the first time I saw it.  I thought it was a chaotic mess and I didn't start to appreciate it until I had seen it 2-3 times.  I was super-excited about Watchmen when I heard it was being released because it's one of the most arresting graphic novels I've ever read, but I confess I was disappointed in some of the elements of the movie.

I wish I could say that SuckerPunch would get better after repeat viewings.  It won't.  It is all flash and no substance.  I was bored, bored, by halfway and by the final moments I was disgusted.  Transparent doesn't begin to cover how thin this movie's plot is.  Babydoll (Emily Browning) is a young girl locked in an insane asylum by her step-father so he can get her inheritance.  He bribes an orderly to ensure that she is lobotomized by a traveling doctor within five days.  So she rounds up some co-conspirators in Amber (Jamie Chung), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens), Rocket (Jena Malone) and her sister SweetPea (Abby Cornish) and embarks on a quest to find 5 items that will secure their freedom while trying to avoid detection by Blue the orderly (Oscar Isaac) and Madame Gorski (Carla Gugino).

I don't know how spoilery this is but it's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest meets Call of Duty.  In her mind, Babydoll thinks of the asylum as a high-priced burlesque club that's a front for Blue's prohibition-era gambling and whorehouse.  Every time she "dances" she imagines different video game levels (down to first-person-shooter) that involve each of the five items.  Unlike Chicago, there is no interspersing of reality beyond the first 15 minutes.  So there's no way to know what the fantasy pieces correspond to, if the girls are actually being sexually abused or how creative they have to be to get the items.  Their characters are one-note at best but that's okay.  It keeps you from getting attached to them.

Also, there is no actual burlesque dancing in the film, so those of you who really wanted to see those costumes put to good use will be even more disappointed.  Yeah, they make a big deal about how great Babydoll is at dancing, like she's the reincarnation of Gypsy Rose Lee, and then they show you absolutely nothing.

Emily Browning actually contributes some vocals to the soundtrack on no less than 3 songs, including a really creepy (read: awesome) cover of "Sweet Dreams", and Carla Gugino and Oscar Isaac (Gorski and Blue) have a duet as well, so I'm wondering if this wouldn't have played better as a musical, if that was an idea that got left on the cutting room floor.  Along with plot and a sense of mystery.  Seriously, they ruin the movie before the opening credits by telling you exactly why Babydoll got put in the asylum.  If they had held on to that card until right before the final fight scene, the movie might have had some genuine pathos but they didn't.

Update:  So, the blu-ray extended edition reconstitutes the musical aspects and adds in a key scene with Jon Hamm.  It absolutely elevates this movie from Waste of Time to Decent But Flawed.