Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (2023)

  Another easy watch.  Content warning: blood, clowns

Sasha (Sara Monpetit) has a moral imperative not to eat human beings, which is a problem because Sasha is a vampire.  Her parents, dad (Steve Leplante) especially, have tolerated it as a quirk --the cryptid equivalent of being a picky eater-- but at 68, it's time for some tough love.  They send Sasha to live with her cousin, Denise (Noémie O'Farrell), in the hopes that she will learn a killer instinct.  Instead, she meets Paul (Félix-Antoine Bénard), a suicidal teen willing to be Sasha's first victim.

Longtime followers of this blog (or really, anyone who's ever mistakenly engaged me on this subject in real life) know that self-hating vampires are one of my biggest narrative pet peeves.  It's hard to see someone live out your dreams, much less be ungrateful about it.  Nevertheless, this is a very cute movie.  It's a little Amelie, a little Girl Walks Home Alone at Night with some Only Lovers vibes.  It toes right up to the line of being twee but the supporting characters save it.  It's currently streaming on AMC+ and Shudder, which I get through Amazon Prime.  Check it out if you like cozy horror.

The Taste of Things (2023)

  Are you overwhelmed by *gestures broadly*?  Do you like watching highly competent people cook things?  Do you like beautiful presentation in food?  How about genial anecdotes delivered in soft-spoken French?  Try The Taste of Things!

Dodin (Benoît Magimel) is a retired professional chef who now only cooks with Eugénie (Juliette Binoche), his loving co-chef who refuses to give up her independence by marrying him.  They prepare beautifully balanced multi-course meals for a small circle of gourmand friends and mentor a young prodigy (Bonnie Chagneau-Ravoire) in their country home in the late 19th century.

This is a very easy watch.  There's no villain, no real conflict, just lovely food being prepared by gifted people.  Currently streaming on Hulu and Kanopy if you have a library card.  It would make a good companion piece with Chocolat, if you want a double dose of Binoche.  

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

  We continue the martial arts trend with Crouching Tiger, the OG for a lot of people (including myself) for an introduction into the genre.  I saw this in theaters my first year away from home and it was a transformative experience for me.

Li Mu Bai (Chow Yun-Fat) has decided to give up his quest for vengeance against the murderer of his master.  To symbolize his resolve, he makes a gift of his sword, the Green Destiny, to a long-time patron, Sir Te (Sihung Lung), trusting his friend Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh) to deliver it.  Unfortunately, the sword is stolen the first night.  Shu Lien believes the culprit is the governor's daughter, Jen (Ziyi Zhang), rebelling against her upcoming marriage, but has no proof.  The truth is both stranger and darker.

There is a lot going on in this movie.  It is very operatic in its themes, balletic in its movements.  I normally hate this descriptor, but it has a very dream-like feel, especially in its transitions between present and past.  This can make it seem slow-paced if you are used to more traditional action movies.  I love it, though.  It holds up really well for being 25 years old.  It's streaming on (sigh) Max but I've literally owned the DVD since 2000.

House of Flying Daggers (2004)

This was the movie I chose to introduce people to wuxia, wire-fu, and Zhang Yimou.  I remembered it as being beautiful and sad.  I did not remember it as being borderline rapey.  There's at least two scenes of sexual assault and one of a peeping tom.  Content warning on that.  Also, as I was dragging this post back to the front page, I realized I never actually described the plot.

Jin (Takeshi Kaneshiro), a police officer, goes undercover to discover the leader of the Flying Daggers, an anti-government resistance movement that has eluded capture, by ingratiating himself to Mei (Ziyi Zhang), a blind dancer, but as the stakes get higher, Jin begins to have real feelings for Mei that complicate his mission even further.

It's very twisty, lots of shifting loyalties, lots of beautifully shot action sequences.  I stand by my choice.  Originally posted 26 May 2010.    I remember the first time I saw this movie in theaters. It was 2004 and I was living in Georgia. My (at the time) husband and I went to see this because we were both big Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fans.

I was so pissed over the ending. I felt completely cheated and I didn't understand at all, which made me hate it. And yet... The imagery and story stayed with me. I found myself mulling over it at the oddest times during the next six years. So I bought it. It's rare for me to feel anything for longer than a moment, and I always want to reward (or at least possess) things that accomplish that.

I re-watched it for the first time since on Wednesday. Maybe I'm more cynical now, but the ending made a depressing sort of sense. Don't get me wrong, I seriously doubt I would ever do the same, but it didn't feel like a betrayal. I was able now to see it as an even more highly stylized operatic fantasy than CTHD. The vividness of the colors, the shifts in season that don't correspond to reality, and of course the spectacular stunt-work combine to tell a story that I can at least respect, even if I can't identify with it.

My last boyfriend was a Chinese linguist and we had numerous discussions about Asian films. I don't think we referenced this one by name (I think we were talking about The Curse of the Golden Flower) but I mentioned how depressing it was that **SPOILER ALERT** everyone dies **END SPOILER** at the end of every Chinese movie. He said that it was just part of the style of film-making over there. Even their comedies end like that. Call me culturally insensitive, but I prefer to have at least ONE major character live to see the end credits. Still, I can't fault them. They told a story and they told it well. It may not be how I would have written it, but I can't hold that against them.

Rambo: Last Blood (2019)

  Talk about a series with diminishing returns.  Content warning:  gore, rape (off-screen), violence

John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) has settled into retirement on his family farm in Arizona, spending his time training horses and raising his niece, Gabby (Yvette Monreal).  But when Gabby goes missing in Mexico on an ill-advised attempt to find her birth father, Rambo has to dust off all the skills he thought he put away for good.

And I thought Rambo was bad.  At least that was so over-the-top it was entertaining.  This was a humorless slog.  There's nothing really new or interesting happening in it and the cinematography is so muddied you couldn't tell if there was anyway.  Stick with the original three.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (2015)

  I took last week off to adjust to having a new job. For the last four years, I have worked from home but now I'm in the office five days a week and it was kicking my ass.  Content warning:  cancer

Greg (Thomas Mann) is trying to get through high school without any meaningful relationships.  He has one friend/co-worker, Earl (RJ Cyler), with whom he makes parody films, and a teacher (Jon Bernthal) who lets him watch movies with Earl during study hall, but that's it.  All's well until his mother (Connie Britton) makes him hang out with Rachel (Olivia Cooke), a girl his age who has cancer.  

I don't have anything against the "kids with cancer discover romance" genre but it's not really my bag.  This one isn't bad, though.  The supporting performances from adults like Bernthal, Molly Shannon, and Nick Offerman really help leaven the schmaltzy overdramatic teen drama.  Cyler gets reduced to kind of a caricature and that's a shame because he's very charismatic.  

I started watching this a couple of weeks ago, right after the Oscars and it took me days to get through so pace yourself.  It's streaming on Hulu.

No Other Land (2024)

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature    The last of the nominees I managed to watch (32 in total this year!) before the ceremony and it was the winner of its category.  Content warning:  dead people, gun violence

A young Palestinian man and his Israeli friend document the ongoing destruction of Palestinian homes in the West Bank of Gaza by the Israeli army.

I'm glad this won.  Even if it feels like too little, too late.  It will be an important record in the future, the way the documentaries about Syria and Ukraine will be.  I'm not going to go on a long-ass rant about it.  

It has no distribution in the United States so dust off that VPN.  Maybe an Oscar win will overcome some cowardice, maybe not.  It's worth searching out.

Black Box Diaries (2024)

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature    Content warning:  description of rape

Journalist Shiori Ito documents her legal and social battle after publicly accusing a prominent news anchor of raping her.  

Every year we have to have this conversation.  And every year it is just as infuriating.  Please realize that women put their lives at risk to call out rapists, especially prominent ones who can weaponize police forces and have government leaders on speed-dial.  Civil suits are often the only way to get any kind of justice but there is literally no amount of money that can un-rape someone.  

Anyway, it's streaming on Paramount+.

The Six Triple Eight (2024)

Nominated for Best Original Song    The women of the 6888 deserved better than this.  Content warning:  war violence, blood, racial slurs

Lena (Ebony Obsidian) decides to join the Women's Auxiliary Corps after her boyfriend (Gregg Sulkin) is killed during WWII.  As a Black woman, the only unit available is the Six Triple Eight, led by Major Charity Adams (Kerry Washington).  MAJ Adams has been training these women but never receiving any orders to actually do anything useful until General Holt (Dean Norris) assigns them to be the new postal battalion in the European theater.  It sounds like a meaningless job until MAJ Adams realizes that her battalion is meant to organize, sort, and deliver over 17 million pieces of mail in six months.  They were set up to fail but they persisted.

This is a remarkable story that deserved better than this vehicle.  It's schmaltzy, filled with montages, poor characterization, and abysmal dialogue.  Washington, Obsidian, and Milauna Jackson do their level best to rise above the material but this could have been a Hallmark special.  It's honestly insulting but it's also the only attempt made to bring this story to a wider audience.  That is a shame on behalf of the entire film industry.  It's streaming on Netflix.

Elton John: Never Too Late (2024)

Nominated for Best Original Song    Content warning:  descriptions of child abuse, domestic partner abuse

Elton John reflects on the highlights of his career as he returns to Dodgers Stadium for his final touring performance.

There's really nothing here that you couldn't have gotten from Rocketman except archival footage and more in-depth coverage of his friendship with John Lennon.  And that Elton John has a podcast on Apple Music where he promotes new artists.  That was news to me.

This feels like a PR puff piece that will get trotted out with a sad music overlay when Elton John dies.  It's not interested in challenging any narratives or delving into the psyche of the artist.  It is a broad overview of a narrow time period.  Anything remotely approaching a rough edge has been sanded down to a glossy shell.  

The original song was written by Brandi Carlisle (among others) and she duets on it.  It will be a nice moment during the Oscar ceremony and that's about it.  Don't bother with the film, just listen to the song on the radio.  Never Too Late is streaming on Disney+.

A Complete Unknown (2024)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Sound, and Best Costume Design   Full disclosure:  I hate Bob Dylan's singing voice.  This movie was like nails on a chalkboard.

Nineteen-year-old Bob Dylan (Timothee Chalamet) arrives in New York to visit his idol, Woody Guthrie (Scoot McNairy), in the hospital.  There, he meets folk singer Pete Seeger (Edward Norton) and gets introduced into the folk scene.  He is lightning-in-a-bottle, getting signed by Albert Grossman (Dan Fogel) onto the same label as Joan Baez (Monica Barbaro).  But touring and general emotional unavailability put strain on his relationships and the more his star rises, the more alone he finds himself.

Honestly, this movie makes Dylan look like a complete asshole.  I have no idea if that's true, but it's definitely the impression I got.  He's a shit to women, takes people for granted, and generally behaves like he walks on water.  I don't get the appeal, but then I am not a fan.  

Barbaro is electric.  She steals every scene and I hope this is the start of a very promising career for her. Chalamet looks the part but there's just something uncharismatic about him.  I can't figure out what it is but it's there.  Norton is always good but he's been better than this.  Frankly, Scoot McNairy deserves more of a mention.  His character is a man dying of Huntington's and he still manages to give an incredible portrayal.  That is the definition of a "phone it in" role and he didn't have to go that hard with it.

As a biopic, it's fine.  If you're really into folk or rock from the 60s, this would probably be worth a watch.  We covered the 1965 Newport Folk Festival in my History of Rock and Roll class, so I know it was a big deal.  It'll be on streaming pretty soon.

September 5 (2024)

Nominated for Best Original Screenplay    

ABC studios sent their sports broadcasting crew under executive Roone Arledge (Peter Sarsgaard) to film the 1972 Olympic Games in Munich, West Germany, with live reporting by Peter Jennings (Benjamin Walker).  During the Games, the terrorist group Black September took 9 Israeli athletes and two coaches hostage in their Olympic Village hotel room.  Arledge seizes the opportunity, refusing to turn coverage over to the ABC News team, and authorizing George Mason (John Magaro), head of the video control room, to use all measures to get the story.  Mason scrambles to get Jennings and cameras in place before the police clear the area of journalists, and has their translator (Leonie Benesch) listen to the police scanners.

This is based on real events.  My mom remembers seeing it live.  It was a major moment in broadcast journalism as the first terrorist hostage-taking shown on live television.

I don't want to knock the movie.  It's very well done, it tells an interesting story and does so in an interesting way.  (It's also only about 90 minutes, which is refreshing as fuck.)  But I do lament the timing of it.  It feels really suspect that a film centering on the murder of Israelis by Palestinian terrorists is coming out while the news is dominated by stories of Israelis systematically starving and murdering Palestinians.  I don't think that was the intent of the film-makers.  The wiki page states that they spent months going through archival footage and researching.  It's not a conspiracy; it's just really shitty timing.  Unfortunately, if I've made the connection, I'm betting other people will have as well.  And that sucks.  The movie doesn't deserve to be tarred with that brush.

It's not up for Editing, which feels like a slight since they did manage to make the archival footage look pretty seamless.  I don't think it will win but hopefully the exposure will put it in front of more eyeballs than it would have gotten if Paramount had just dumped it on streaming.  Which it's not on yet, by the way, but keep a lookout.

Nickel Boys (2024)

Nominated for Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay    Content warning:  child abuse, sexual assault, torture

Elwood (Ethan Herisse) was on his way to early admission at college when he is arrested for being a passenger in a stolen car.  He is sent to Nickel Academy, a segregated juvenile detention facility where he is abused and forced to do hard labor.  Elwood never loses his sense of justice, keeping a careful record of the transgressions, despite warnings from his only friend inside, Turner (Brandon Wilson).  When the facility undergoes an inspection, Elwood sees his chance to drag the Academy's sins into the light.

The camera switches between first-person POV of both boys.  It's neat enough.  There aren't any moments of confusion between the two, but it felt a little gimmicky.  Also, I cannot stress how much I hate shaky cam.  I can only assume the book is better at conveying the two different perspectives.  

Herisse and Wilson should both have incredible careers.  I hope they get more opportunities to shine, like they do here.  Of all the Best Picture nominees, Nickel Boys most deserves the win but I doubt it will.  The Academy is still too racist to pick something this raw and unflinching. Adapted Screenplay is fast becoming the "Good But Too Black" category and I find that frustrating.

Nickel Boys is currently only available to rent or buy.  It might still be playing in some theaters.  It's not my favorite, but it's still definitely worth watching.

The Brutalist (2024)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Original Score, Best Original Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Film Editing, and Best Production Design    Content warning:  rape, drug use

Lazlo Tóth (Adrian Brody) escaped the Holocaust and immigrated to America.  While working at his cousin's furniture store, he garners the attention of business magnate Harrison Van Buren (Guy Pearce), whose patronage allows Tóth to stretch his creativity and design a community center.  But Tóth's self-destructive behaviors combined with latent anti-semitism and Van Buren's overbearing need for control threaten to destroy everything he has built.  

I couldn't engage with this on any level.  It was one of the nominees I was most looking forward to and my disappointment is severe.  

There is zero reason this needed to be nearly three and a half hours long.  Tectonic plates move faster than this movie.  It's so interested in subtext it forgets to have actual text.  It doesn't have anything noteworthy or different to say and it's not fun to watch.  

That being said, the cinematography is really beautiful.  Also, the use of editing to allude to events without showing is extremely well done.  If it wins anything, I hope it's one of those.  But I sincerely want it to lose everything else.  It's not my most hated film of the year but it's a close second.

Anuja (2024)/A Lien (2024)/I'm Not a Robot (2023)

Nominated for Best Live Action Short Film    I managed to find three of the Live Action shorts so I just shoved them all into one post.  This one is on Netflix.  

Anuja (Sajda Pathan) is 8-years-old and working with her older sister (Ananya Shanbhag) in a textile factory.  A math whiz, she is offered a chance to take a placement exam at a boarding school but the factory owner (Nagesh Bhonsle) makes a counter-offer:  work in the office for slightly more money or he will fire Anuja and her sister.

It has an open ending but it's still a little fucked up that an 8-year-old child has to weigh her entire future and choose between opportunity but being separated from her only family and crushing poverty but not being alone.

  Content warning:  deportation  

This one is on Vimeo.  Oscar (William Martinez) is in the Immigration office for his final interview before he receives his green card when he is targeted by ICE for deportation.  His frantic wife (Victoria Ratermanis) struggles to find the paperwork that will keep their 7-year-old daughter (Koralyn Rivera) from being taken as well.

Here's your friendly reminder that ICE is an evil organization and should be abolished.

  Content warning:  suicide  

A woman (Ellen Parren) fails a Captcha test at work and spirals into an existential crisis.  

This is also fucked up but at least it's funny, like a Black Mirror episode filmed by Wes Anderson.  It's on YouTube and The New Yorker website.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

Nominated for Best Visual Effects  After the main trilogy, this is kind of depressing.  Content warning:  dead animals (apes, eagles)

Noa (Owen Teague) sets out on a journey of revenge after his tribe is murdered by rival apes.  He learns the teachings of Caesar from Raka (Peter Macon), a scholarly orangutan, and grudgingly tolerates a human, Mae (Freya Allen), following him.  He learns his tribe has been forcibly assimilated into the kingdom of Proximus (Kevin Durand), who yearns to have unquestioned dominion.  The key to this is hidden inside a bunker filled with weapons, locked away during the human wars.  Only Mae knows the way in, but she has an agenda of her own.

This movie feels extraneous but it does serve as a decent bridge between the Caesar trilogy and the original series or the 2001 Tim Burton remake, whichever you prefer.  Where the Caesar trilogy ends on a hopeful note (for some characters at least), this has a more ominous tone.  Which is fine, inevitable, really, I just wasn't in the mood to be brought down.  

The effects are good.  I don't know that they're great.  I feel like it's getting harder now because there's so much CGI in everything.  I wouldn't be mad if this won, but I feel like Dune 2 is going to take it.

Nosferatu (2024)

Nominated for Best Costume Design,  Best Makeup and Hairstyling, Best Cinematography, and Best Production Design  Content warning:  blood, child death, rats, maggots

Solicitor Thomas Hutter (Nicholas Hoult) has to cut short his honeymoon to his beloved Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp) to travel to Transylvania and provide a real estate contract to Count Orlok (Bill Skarsgård).  What Hutter doesn't know is that the Count is an ancient undead who has been stalking psychically sensitive Ellen since childhood and now wants to claim her as his own.  Ellen has been having seizures and sleepwalking and generally being a nerve-wracking houseguest to the Hardings.  Friedrich Harding (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) summoned a doctor (Ralph Ineson) who called in a specialist, Professor von Franz (Willem Dafoe) who figures out the whole "accidentally bound to a vampire" thing pretty quickly.  Hutter tries to make his way back home while plague ravages the land and Orlok exerts his influence over Ellen.

The original Nosferatu was a plagiarized version of Bram Stoker's Dracula because the widow Stoker wouldn't sell the movie rights.  Which was fine in 1922. (I mean, it's not, don't plagiarize shit, but you know what I mean.)  But both Dracula and Nosferatu are now in the public domain and there's zero reason to not use the original.  Because if you don't use the original, none of the boat scenes make sense.  Nosferatu (2024) is set in Germany.  Transylvania --.> Germany is an overland trip.*

And that is me being pedantic.  The voyage of the Demeter is iconic whether it makes logical sense or not.

Production Design is impeccable.  The movie looks great.  There was clearly a lot of effort made to keep the spirit of the original while modernizing and adding a lot more backstory for Ellen.  Depp gives a towering performance.  If I'm super honest, Skarsgård was a little disappointing.  Loved the look.  He had the bushy Hussar mustache and bald head.  It's giving anorexic Dr. Robotnik.  Also appreciate that they kept him gross.  But his performance was a lot of growling and Christian-Bale-Batman-voice.  Everybody else got a chance to really shine, however, so maybe it's just the trade-off.

This is only my second Robert Eggers film and I flat hated the first one I saw so this is a marked improvement, but I still wouldn't rave about it.  It's not available quite yet so whip out that VPN.

*Reddit/Robert Eggers apologists have put forward that the boat took the Black Sea through the Dardanelles and then the Mediterranean, Gibraltar, and around the coast up to Germany but that sounds like a lot of people trying to justify when the real answer (plagiarism moved the setting from England to Germany) is much simpler.

War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

  This is not the Planet of the Apes film nominated this year, but I couldn't watch Part 4 if I hadn't seen all previous entries.  I had seen Rise and Dawn but I missed War when it came out.  I don't know what I was expecting but "Ape Schindler's List" wasn't it.  Content warning:  war violence, concentration camp imagery, torture

Caesar (Andy Serkis) vows revenge on the Army colonel (Woody Harrelson) who killed his family.  He takes only his two closest friends and sends the rest of the tribe to a rumored sanctuary while he tracks down the colonel.  Along the way, he finds a mute human child (Amiah Miller) and a zoo escapee named Bad Ape (Steve Zahn).  Bad Ape knows where the colonel is holed up but Caesar is unprepared to find that his entire tribe had been captured and forced to work shoring up the defenses of the compound.  The colonel has gone rogue and is using the apes as slave labor to prepare for an assault by the rest of the military.  Caught between a psychopath's private army and the rest of the actual army, Caesar must decide whether to save his people or pursue his personal vendetta.

Bet you thought I was kidding about that Schindler's List comparison.  There are other obvious parallels to Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now, but there's a lot of Ralph Fiennes' Amon Goeth too.  Maybe because the plot is so dark, this is also the only film in the trilogy with a genuine Comic Relief character.  Now whether or not you find Steve Zahn funny is a matter of personal taste but it was interesting to note.

I saw the first two films in theaters but this was the first time watching them back-to-back and it is kind of astonishing how well they work together.  Especially since Rise had a different director.  It's to Matt Reeves' credit that he was able to craft two pretty seamless sequels and bring a satisfying conclusion to the trilogy.  And of course, this would never have gotten off the ground if it weren't for Andy Serkis.  If there ever is an award for motion capture work, it should have his name on it.  

Alien: Romulus (2024)

Nominated for Best Visual Effects    I almost watched this for my 31 Days of Horror feature last year but it didn't quite make the cut-off.  This is the cover of the comic book, which I hope is better than the movie.

Rain (Cailee Spaeny) is desperate to get off the mining colony she is indentured to but the mandatory quota of hours has just been raised and her transfer is denied.  She learns that a small group led by her ex (Archie Renaux) has a plan to "borrow" some cryopods from a derelict research station before it is obliterated by the planet's ring and escape to hopefully greener pastures outside the grasp of Weyland-Yutani.  But they need her Synthetic, Andy (David Jonsson), to bypass the security inside.  Once aboard, they discover that the station was researching xenomorphs, but of course, by then it's too late.

This is set between Alien and Aliens and borrows plot points from everything through Covenant.  I can tell the plan was to unify all the films into one timeline but it really just seems like they were shoved in a blender and set to Chop.  I don't get the hype around Fede Alvarez.  He has not improved a single legacy franchise, as far as I'm concerned.

Visual effects are hit and miss.  The deepfake Ian Holm is atrocious and some of the CGI xenomorph movement blurs and looks a little fuzzy.  Not my favorite.  

A Different Man (2024)

Nominated for Best Makeup and Hairstyling     Our second Sebastian Stan performance and the one that should have gotten him nominated.

Edward (Sebastian Stan) has a rare cancer that causes tumors to grow on his face.  He joins an experimental drug trial that gives him back the life he thinks he should have had.  By chance, he discovers the neighbor he had a crush on (Renate Reinsve) has written a play about a man with facial deformities and the girl who loved him.  You can see where this is going.  He auditions for the part, using his old face as a mask but is quickly upstaged by Oswald (Adam Pearson), a man with facial deformities who is comfortable in his own skin.  Edward's life spins out of control as he grapples with a number of truths.

This just in:  Local man discovers beauty means nothing without a personality (and money but mostly personality)!  News at 11!

I called this The Substance for dudes and I'm not wrong.  Frankly, if either protagonist had a single (1) friend, neither one would have ended up where they did.  And/or a therapist.  Stan does a good job here but the material is frustratingly navel-gaze-y.  Pearson is a bubbly delight, but Reinsve feels underwritten in a Manic Pixie Dream Girl way.  For once, that actually serves the story since Edward mostly perceives her as an archetype, not a person, anyway.

Pacing is glacial.  There are long moments where the camera just pans between characters like Iñárritu in molasses.  I respect the attempt but it didn't work for me.  I just started fast-forwarding in 30-sec jumps and missed nothing.  

I thought this movie was a hot mess but it's streaming on (sigh) Max so you can see for yourself.  

Better Man (2024)

Nominated for Best Visual Effects    Content warning: drug use, attempted suicide

British singer Robbie Williams recounts his rise to fame as a member of a boy band, his split amid a haze of drug and alcohol abuse, success as a solo artist and crash as a human being, before getting clean and resuming his career.  But, you know, as a mo-cap chimp.

This is an absolutely bog standard musician biopic with the only difference being the mo-cap.  Is that enough of a novelty to win over an entire-ass franchise devoted to mo-cap chimps?  Who knows.  The musical numbers are fine.  I think the mo-cap is distracting.  I would have preferred just a straightforward film but this was clearly someone's vision.  

Is Robbie Williams famous enough for the biopic treatment?  According to this movie, he is very famous in Britain but is he Elton John famous?  Freddie Mercury famous?  Hell, I would have thought Mick Jagger would have gotten a biopic before this guy.  The entire movie is filled with his catalogue and I recognized precisely one song and didn't even know it was by him.  And I've been listening to pop music for 40 years.  

But he is definitely too famous to read this blog, so I feel okay talking shit.  LOL

This is not out on streaming yet so if you're really interested, feel free to dust off that VPN.

Gladiator II (2024)

Nominated for Best Costume Design    Content warning:  dead animals (CGI rhino), war violence, blood

Hanno (Paul Mescal) lived fairly happily outside the Roman empire until a legion led by General Acacius (Pedro Pascal) came and conquered them for the glory of the twin emperors Geta (Joseph Quinn) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger).  Hanno is sold to the gladiator stable of Macrinus (Denzel Washington), a highly ambitious man with his own desire for vengeance, who recognizes a kindred spirit.  As Macrinus ingratiates himself to the emperors, Hanno competes and waits for his chance at the General whom he blames for all the excesses of the imploding empire.

Zero reason for this movie to be made.  It says nothing differently from the original and references it relentlessly.  It would be one thing if it had a point that it was trying to make, but it doesn't.  It's just nostalgia bait.  The costumes are good but they're also basically the same as from the first movie.  And there's so much CGI, you can barely focus on them anyway.

Washington walks off with this movie and it's not even a contest.  He's Macbeth in a toga.  Pascal is cashing a paycheck and Mescal is trying out his Russell Crowe impression.  You've seen better from both of them.

There are three speaking roles for women.  Two of them are fridged and the third is a spy with one line that doesn't further the plot in any way.  She is basically an extra.  

It's streaming on Paramount+ but so is Gladiator and if you have to choose, choose wisely.

The Apprentice (2024)

Nominated for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor    I have no idea who the target audience for this is.  If you already liked Donald Trump, nothing you see here is going to change your mind, and if you already disliked Trump, you're probably sick of the sight of him and aren't going to watch this.  Content warning:  rape, homophobic slurs, antisemitism

In the late 70s, young real estate heir Donald Trump (Sebastian Stan) wants to move out of his father's (Martin Donovan) shadow so he attaches himself to the coattails of notorious lawyer Roy Cohn (Jeremy Strong).  Cohn blackmails, threatens, and blatantly lies his way through the dismissal of a discrimination lawsuit filed against the Trumps, earning Donald's admiration.  But as Trump's fortunes rise, Cohn lives long enough to regret the monster he in part created.

Sebastian Stan is fine in this.  He's basically doing a caricature.  At this point, I don't even think Olivier reborn could make me have an iota of empathy for Donald Trump.  I just don't have it in me and I resent the attempt.  But Jeremy Strong is so good, so good, that I did care a little bit about Roy Fucking Right-Hand-of-McCarthy-Let's-Kill-the-Rosenbergs Cohn.  Which means I am now rooting for him to win Best Supporting Actor.  Sorry, Yuriy.  

Zero reason for this movie to exist.  The good news is that it's not streaming anywhere and it will probably get buried in the next couple of months and we won't hear about it again until ten years from now or when Trump dies.  Whichever is sooner.

The Girl with the Needle (2024)

Nominated for Best International Feature    Content warning:  facial disfigurement, PTSD, drug use, attempted abortion with a knitting needle, infanticide, child abuse

I am so serious about these warnings.  

Karoline (Vic Carmen Sonne) works as a seamstress making war uniforms but not making enough to cover her rent.  She applies for a widow's stipend since she hasn't heard from her husband (Besir Zeciri) in over a year, but there's no record of him.  She has an affair with her wealthy boss (Joachim Fjelstrup) and thinks the resulting pregnancy is her ticket out of poverty but surprise!  It's not.  Desperate and poor, Karoline tries to self-abort in the baths but is prevented by Dagmar (Trine Dyrholm), a candy shop owner, who offers to take the baby and find a foster home if Karoline carries to term.  Since Karoline also needs a job after being fired by her Baby Daddy, she goes to work for Dagmar as a wet nurse, caring for the abandoned infants until they can be placed.  Things seem to be on the upward swing until she discovers what Dagmar is actually doing.

The Academy decided to embrace Women's Horror this year.  I'm still sad they didn't pick The Devil's Bath, which is almost the exact same movie, but I can guess why this one made the cut instead.  **DEEPLY CYNICAL SPECULATION AND ALSO MAYBE SPOILERS**  GwtN has an ostensibly happy ending (because she reconciles with her husband and adopts Erena, creating a stereotypical heteronormative family) and TDB does not.  Karoline shows remorse but lets Dagmar take the fall alone and faces zero consequences for her part while Agnes confesses and is executed.  Both are deeply tragic but GwtN pushes the horror onto a scapegoat and that one step away creates enough emotional distance for Academy voters to feel virtuous, instead of forcing them to confront the ways society has historically failed and punished women for existing, where TDB keeps the focus on Agnes, refusing to look away.  Also, the Academy fucking loves war and war-adjacent movies and dramatic uses of black-and-white film.  **END SPECULATION AND SPOILERS**

Every year, there's at least one film that is such a depressing slog it wrecks my timeline for watching.  This movie cost me three solid days.  It is unrelentingly bleak and I cannot stress the content warnings enough.  Do not put your mental health at risk for this.  It's streaming on Mubi, a stupidly named niche arthouse service, exclusively for now.

The Seed of the Sacred Fig (2024)

Nominated for Best International Feature   Content warning:  protest violence, blood

Najmeh (Sohelia Golestani) is trying to keep her family from falling apart after her husband (Missagh Zareh) gets promoted to Investigator for the theocratic Court in Tehran.  The position requires complete anonymity because of the fear of reprisal, so Najmeh cautions her two daughters against anything that would identify them or cause suspicion.  But Rezvan (Masha Rostami) and Sana (Setareh Maleki) are tired of the propaganda they've been fed their whole lives, and want to be involved with the on-going protests for women's rights.  When their father's gun goes missing, Najmeh must decide which is more important:  protecting her daughters or appeasing her husband.

The story itself is pretty basic --youth rebelling against authority-- and only elevated by the inclusion of actual protest footage that made it past the social media bans in Iran.  That is a hard watch but necessary.  Framing it in a fictional story probably had the added benefit of giving real-life authorities fewer people to target.  

The performances were good, especially Rostami, who acts as a moral compass for the film.  Pacing lags a bit, especially between setting changes, but that's a pretty minor complaint.  You might be able to catch this in theaters if you live near an arthouse one, but most likely you'll have to clicky-click that VPN if you want to watch it at home before the Oscars.

Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl (2024)

Nominated for Best Animated Feature    No content warnings needed for this one!

Faithful companion Gromit feels the sting of rejection when Wallace (Ben Whitehead) invents a "helpful" robot gardener called Norbot (Reece Shearsmith) and seems to prefer its company.  But the pair's old nemesis, Feathers McGraw, is plotting revenge from his prison cell/enclosure and hacking Norbot is the first step.  Gromit must stop the rogue AI garden gnomes from destroying Wallace's good name and reputation and framing him for theft before Wallace is locked away.

At this point, the "turn evil" button/setting on robots is old hat but still funny.  I would have liked more focus on Feathers McGraw and less on the cops but I understand you need some characters to talk in your movie.  

If you are already a W&G fan, congrats on another successful entry.  If you're not, this won't make you one.  Head on back to Memoir of a Snail, fellow degenerate.  It's currently streaming on Netflix.

Memoir of a Snail (2024)

Nominated for Best Animated Feature   Content warning:  animated nudity, child abuse, bullying, conversion therapy, homophobic hate crime, child death

Orphaned and separated across the continent, Australian twins Grace (Sarah Snook) and Gilbert (Kodi Smit-McPhee) dream of one day being reunited.  Grace retreats further into herself, becoming a hoarder and snail collector, while Gilbert rails against his cult-like foster family.

This is not a movie for children unless you feel like explaining a bunch of stuff.  This is in the vein of Mary & Max, also written and directed by Adam Elliot, and should not be confused with family friendly movies by LAIKA.  It ends up heartwarming but it takes its time getting to that point.  Still, we love stop-motion and it's always nice to see it represented.  

It's currently only available to rent or buy and if you like quirky, off-kilter characters, it's worth tossing some cash at for a one-time watch.

Inside Out 2 (2024)

Nominated for Best Animated Feature    I was prepared to write this off as the obligatory Pixar inclusion but I actually really loved it.  

Riley (Kinsington Tallman) is a teenager now and her emotions: Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Fear (Tony Hale), Anger (Lewis Black), and Disgust (Liza Lapira) have been working overtime to keep up.  But with new stressors --hockey camp, meeting her high school idol, finding out this is her last year with her best friends-- comes new puberty-enhanced emotions like Anxiety (Maya Hawke), Embarrassment (Paul Walter Hauser), Envy (Ayo Edibiri), and Ennui (Adèle Exarchopoulos).  Joy has been carefully tending Riley's Sense of Self only to have Anxiety begin to threaten her artfully chosen memories.

Once again, the Inside Out characters delve into thorny psychological concepts with wit and humor overlaying true understanding.  I love that the Core Memories from the first have become a garden of Beliefs that form Riley's sense of Self and how delicate they can be, but also how mutable.  The Self isn't static; it's constantly responding to new stimuli and changing into new shapes.  And that Joy's blithe insistence on only holding on to positive beliefs actually weakens Riley so that the first negative thing that happens causes her to spiral into anxiety.  

I don't want to go too deeply into the ending but I found it to have really powerful imagery that's mostly unspoken.  **SPOILERS FOLLOW**  She floods Riley's memory pond with conflicting --even negative-- emotions, forcing her confront her actions and sparking introspection, a more nuanced sense of Self, and enhanced maturity.  **END SPOILERS**  It's given the context of "feeling your feelings" but it was more than just that for me.  How we feel influences how we see ourselves and toxic positivity is just as damaging as its opposite.

Inside Out 2 is currently streaming on Disney+.

Flow (2024)

Nominated for Best Animated Feature and Best International Feature  This movie stressed me out.  

A cat must navigate a world threatened by rising water, finding relative safety on a boat with a crew of other random animals as they search for high ground.

This was the Oscar submission from Latvia and it's one of the strongest animated showings I've seen in years.  I felt genuine distress every time that cat was in danger.  I was a little distracted at first because the collection of animals is weird: a capybara, a secretary bird, a ring-tailed lemur, and a golden retriever, all of which are from different continents, but the architecture of the human (?) built structures is also weird so then I didn't care as much.  It's obviously some sort of fantasy setting.  (Tyler suggested it takes place in Hyrule.)  

There's no attempt made to anthropomorphize the animals so it's completely wordless, which means you have to pay attention to every frame.  This is not the movie to have on while you play on your phone.  

The animation is very soft and almost dream-like.  I generally don't pay attention to the score but it is also very soothing.  It reminds me of music you'd hear in a video game, present but not calling attention to itself.  In fact, I would not be surprised to find that this started out as a cut-scene or demo of a planned video game like Stray.  Too lazy to look it up though.

It's currently only in theaters (if you're lucky) or available through your handy-dandy VPN.

The Wild Robot (2024)

Nominated for Best Original Score, Best Sound, and Best Animated Feature     Dreamworks with a very strong showing this year.  Content warning:  animal death (animated, mostly off-screen)

A helper robot named Roz (Lupita Nyong'o) crashes onto an island with wildlife as the only inhabitants.  Her attempts to "help" the natives are met with fear, distrust, and in some cases, violence until she accidentally hatches a goose egg and the gosling imprints on her.  Raising an infant of a non-programmed species is hard, so she enlists the help of Fink (Pedro Pascal), a fox, to fill in the gaps of her knowledge.

The moral of this story is Kindness is a Survival Skill, which is frankly a bold choice in this, the worst timeline.  It's a little simplistic when you really scrutinize it (wtf is the lynx supposed to do in this socialist utopia?  It can't just eat acorns) but for a kid's movie, it's a good baseline.

It does kind of feel like two movies smashed together.  There's the expected "robot learns to feel" storyline which takes up the first half, and then it just...keeps going.  This isn't necessarily a complaint.  We've seen dozens of the "robot learns to feel" stories, but because the beats are so familiar going beyond them can almost feel like fatigue.  Like when you watched the first half hour of Up and then you're like, Jesus, there's a whole-ass movie after this??  But life doesn't just stop once your kids leave the nest (ha ha, get it?) and it's nice that the movie acknowledges that.

It's streaming on Peacock.

A Real Pain (2024)

Nominated for Best Supporting Actor and Best Original Screenplay    Content warning:  Holocaust, concentration camp imagery

David (Jesse Eisenberg) booked a trip to Poland with his slacker cousin Benji (Kieran Culkin) to honor their late grandmother.  Benji is by turns charming and abrasive, causing friction in the rest of the tour group and leaving David to deal with the emotional turmoil left in Benji's wake.

This movie said nothing and showed even less.  There's a lot about familial guilt but zero acknowledgement that sometimes you have to let people go when they don't want to be helped.  Instead, it wallows in vague bad feelings.  

A slog and not worth your time, but streaming on Hulu.

Anora (2024)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Film Editing    Content warning:  homophobic slurs

Ani (Mikey Madison) is a stripper/sex worker who thinks she's hit the lottery when she meets Ivan (Mark Eydelshteyn), the son of a Russian oligarch.  Ivan spends money like water, loving the freedom that comes from being young, rich, and 8000 miles away from his parents.  He knows it's his last trip to America before joining his dad's company and wants to make the most of it.  So he flies Ani to Vegas and marries her.  And then posts it on social media because he's an idiot.  His mother (Darya Ekamasova) immediately dispatches Toros (Karran Karagulian), who was supposed to be supervising Ivan, to have the marriage annulled.  Ivan bolts, leaving Ani to deal with the fallout.  

There is nothing original here and I have no idea why this got six nominations when Hustlers --a film about strippers directed and written by women starring a woman of color and based on a true story-- didn't get a single one.  I mean, I have an idea why, obviously, a film about a stripper written and directed by a man starring a white woman got nominated, but it's not polite.

Sean Baker is a rising star whose previous films have focused on marginalized people.  That is good and I fully support that.  Anora feels regressive and more like a story that would have been made in the early 2000s.  Madison doesn't bring anything really noteworthy to the character, other than being young, beautiful, and willing to be traumatized on screen (always Academy catnip).  Ani grimly clings to a fantasy so hard it moves past naïveté and into delusion, all while being completely unsympathetic.  Points for realism, I guess, because everyone knows a girl like this, but most people have the good sense to cut ties with them pretty quickly.  

But by far the most egregious nomination is for film editing.  This movie is two hours and 18 minutes long and it could have been cut by a third.  So many scenes were repetitive and added nothing we didn't already know.  Baker probably could have hired out for this instead of trying to do it himself.

Yuriy Borisov is a literal angel and deserves this nomination.  #TeamIgor You deserved so much better, my darling.

Conclave (2024)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Original Score, Best Film Editing, Best Production Design, and Best Costume Design    Man, I love movies about popes.  This is not to say that I love the Roman Catholic Church as an institution or organized religion in general, but every story about a papal conclave is so full of drama and intrigue.  It's like the world's highest-budget Real Housewives of Jesus.

As Dean of the College of Cardinals, it is Father Lawrence's (Ralph Fiennes) job to convene a conclave to choose the next pope.  It is a hugely political affair with rival factions behind the hardline traditionalists led by Father Tedesco (Sergio Castellitto), the moderates behind Father Tremblay (John Lithgow), and the reformists represented by Father Bellini (Stanley Tucci).  Moments before the doors are closed to sequester the priests away, a newly created cardinal, Father Benitez (Carlos Diehz), is admitted.  Dean Lawrence must keep the cardinals from being influenced by the outside world, but soon discovers that corruption may have already been spread.

There's at least one major spoiler.  I thought it was pretty obvious but that doesn't mean I'm going to ruin it for others.  Fiennes has always been great and he's very good here.  I don't know if he's going to win because I haven't seen anyone else in the category yet, but an excellent performance regardless.  Isabella Rossellini's nom feels like one of the Academy's belated Lifetime Achievement awards.  She doesn't have a lot to do here.  Tucci steals every scene.  The man does more with a look than most people do in their entire careers.

So far this is my favorite.  It's currently streaming on Peacock.

Emilia Perez (2024)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, Best Original Song (x2), Best International Feature, Best Original Score, Best Sound, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Makeup and Hairstyling, and Best Film Editing    Content warning:  kidnapping, discussion of medical procedures, cartel violence, mass graves, dismemberment (fingers cut off)

Overworked, underpaid, underappreciated Mexico City lawyer Rita (Zoe Saldaña) gets an offer she can't refuse from a cartel leader looking to make a change.  In exchange for several million untraceable dollars, Rita researches and compares doctors worldwide to find a reassignment specialist and helps her client fake an appropriate death.  Years later, Rita is approached once more by the new and improved Emilia Pérez (Karla Sofia Gascón) who feels the heat has died down significantly enough to renew her relationship with her former wife, Jessi (Selena Gomez), and children.  

Let me begin by saying that when I watched this I was unaware of the controversy surrounding it.  My first impression is that it was entertaining but had some significant flaws.  The plot meanders and could do with some tighter editing, and the songs (oh, it is a full-blown musical, by the way) are okay but lacked pizzazz.  I think contemporary musicals are like this.  You either embrace the OTT nature and lean in or you might as well just film a straight drama.  Saldaña is the star of this film and she should have been nominated for Best Actress, not Supporting.  No shade to Gascón, but Saldaña literally dances away with the movie.

So the main controversy is that this is a French film set in Mexico but filmed in Paris with no Mexican leads and the director admitted he did zero research and was plainly uninterested in any sort of nuance surrounding narcocultura, modern Mexico, or even transitioning.  And it shows.  This is very trope-y, generic, clichéd window dressing for a story that could have been set anywhere.  This could have been a Breaking Bad episode.  Audiard told reporters that he wanted to see if he as a 70-year-old white cis heterosexual man could make a film about transitioning without getting cancelled.  Is that a good enough reason?  Probably not.  But it happened anyway.  And Netflix has thrown a fuckton of money into campaigning for this Oscar season.  

As a piece of streaming entertainment, I thought it was fine.  If it were not nominated for 13 Oscars, it would probably just disappear into obscurity as a pandering, stereotypical cash grab.  But it is nominated, so now the question becomes is this outrage going to propel this film into being awarded Best Picture?

It's currently streaming on Netflix.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)

  If you grew up watching this on TV in the 90s, like I did, I urge you to find an unedited version.  The full movie is almost two and a half hours and TV cut so much for time and content.  

Homeless orphans Carrie (Cindy O'Callaghan), Paul (Roy Snart), and Charlie (Ian Weighill) are sent to the  English countryside during WWII.  They end up in the reluctant care of Miss Price (Angela Lansbury), a spinster heiress pursuing witchcraft as a solution to the Nazis.  But the war has necessitated the closure of her correspondence course, so she takes the three children to London via a magical bed (which sounds like the worst euphemism but it's not) to find her professor, Mr. Emelius Brown (David Tomlinson), and get the final spell she needs.

I cannot overemphasize how much of a disservice the TV edit is to the original.  It removes so much context, character building, and at least one entire musical number while cutting others down sharply.  If you watched this as a kid and thought it was mid- to lower-tier Disney, please give it another try.  If you still don't like it, that's fine.  

Hopefully, the full version is on Disney+.  I have no idea.  I bought this on DVD ages ago.

Funny Lady (1975)

  This is the sequel to Funny Girl, the Fanny Brice biopic.  

After her disastrous relationship with Nick (Omar Sharif) ends, Fanny Brice (Barbara Streisand) just wants to throw herself into her work.  Unfortunately, Ziegfield's is closing and finding a new show is difficult.  A new impresario, songwriter, club owner, and general entertainment polymath named Billy Rose (James Caan) wants to design an entire show around Fanny but personality-wise, they are oil and water.  As always, success comes at a price.

This is also a musical, but the songs aren't nearly as good.  Partly because Caan isn't a singer.  Streisand could have carried the entire movie but it would have been nice to have her duet with someone who could match her.  Costumes are top-notch and there are some very lovely sets and shows-within-a-show, especially the synchronized swimmers but this definitely feels like a lesser entry.

It's not currently available on any services, except to rent or buy.  Dust off your VPN, I'd say, rather than pay actual dollars for this.

In other news, I watched the miniseries Escape at Dannemora, about two prisoners serving life sentences who escaped from a prison in upstate New York after seducing a worker in the textile sweatshop.  It's a monumentally depressing series and an indictment of the for-profit prison system in general.  But it is competently told with excellent performances from Paul Dano, Benicio del Toro, and Patricia Arquette.  Currently streaming on Paramount+.

I tried to watch Melvin at Dinner, an independent film directed by Bob Odenkirk, but it was so fucking boring I couldn't make it more than 30 minutes.  I also DNF'd an Australian film from 2007 called Vigilante.  It is Margot Robbie's debut, but everything else about it is terrible.  And I made it about one and a half episodes into Club de Cuervos, one of Netflix's first "original" shows but I was not in the mood to suffer through the amount of misogyny required of a Mexican soccer show.  Ted Lasso it ain't.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette? (2019)

  I assume the book is better.  Content warning:  miscarriage (discussion)

Once a rising star in the architecture world, Bernadette Fox (Cate Blanchett) has been living in obscurity with her insanely wealthy family in Oregon, rapidly becoming an antisocial borderline agoraphobe, until her daughter, Bee (Emma Nelson), announces that she'd like to do a family trip to Antarctica.  Preparations bring Bernadette's marital, social, and legal problems to a head as it's discovered her "digital assistant" is actually a crime ring and her husband (Billy Crudup) thinks she should be committed.  So Bernadette vanishes, leaving Bee to reconstruct her mother's likely decisions.

This is meant to be heartwarming but the dialogue feels so fake and contrived, it's hard to acknowledge any actual emotion.  The novel this is based on is by Maria Semple, but she was not listed as one of the screenplay writers.  Having not read the novel, I don't know if the dialogue is the same as the book.  I hope not.  No offense to Newman, but it would have taken a much stronger actress to make Bee's lines remotely believable.  Anything good in this movie comes from Blanchett, who gives it her all, as usual.

It's not terrible, but it's not one I'd rush to rewatch.  It's streaming on the Roku Channel with ads.

To Be or Not to Be (1942)

  This was a Movie Club pick from last week but I had to get through some other stuff first.  

Polish WWII resistance learns that a supposed ally, Professor Siletsky (Stanley Ridges), is actually a German spy about to present a list of family and friends of Polish RAF officers to the Gestapo.  A pilot, Lieutenant Sobieski (Robert Stack), has flown to Warsaw and used his pre-war connection to famed actress Maria Tura (Carole Lombard), now leading the resistance, to have her intercept Siletsky.  Tura's husband, Josef (Jack Benny), pretends to be the Gestapo commander to get Siletsky to hand over the documents.  Identities switch back and forth as Josef and Maria give the performances of their lives.

So the plot does not give an indication of how funny the movie actually is.  It's a comedy about how dumb the Nazis are and that seems really relevant today.  Sometimes the only way to combat evil is to point out how ridiculous it is.  Lombard is luminous in this, effortlessly seducing every single man she comes across.  Normally, it would seem like lazy writing that she's just so beautiful men fall over themselves to offer her state secrets, but with her it seems completely believable.  

It does feel a little dated, mostly because everyone has a different accent and that's just not addressed at all, but it is still very good and remains funny thanks to a very sharp script and fast, glib dialogue.  

There is a 1983 remake starring real-life husband and wife Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft that is also very good.  Either version is well worth watching, but the 1942 one is currently streaming on the Criterion Channel, Kanopy, and (sigh) Max.

Brighton Rock (1947)

  The poster is washed out but that's a baby Richard Attenborough.  

A gang leader (Richard Attenborough) bumps off a journalist (Reginald Purnell) but finds out there's a witness, a waitress named Rose (Carol Marsh), that can throw off his carefully constructed alibi.  He decides to cozy up to the girl, easily winning her over despite pressure from a nosy small-time theater performer named Ida (Hermione Baddeley).  Ida had met and liked the dead journalist and didn't believe the suicide story being floated by the cops.  She took it upon herself to figure it out, following the breadcrumbs right to Rose and her new beau.  

It's so funny to watch old movies and realize that absolutely zero things have changed.  All Ida needed was a podcast and she could have been an OG true crime legend.  

If you're into noir at all, this should be part of your curriculum.  The story is a little underwritten, I think, but the performances are all really solid.  It's streaming on Kanopy with a library card, the Criterion Channel until the end of the month, and (sigh) Max.  Give it a shot.

Three Identical Strangers (2017)

  I had my eye on this documentary for a while but it was on/off various streamers and I couldn't get a hold of it.  I think it overplays the "mystery" angle but it's still worth watching.  Content warning:  suicide (discussed)

Bobby Shafran grew up in upstate New York and went to a local community college, only to be completely confused his first day by how well-known he seemed to be.  Turns out he was a dead ringer for a guy named Eddie Galland who had dropped out the previous year.  The two met, compared backstories, and discovered that they were twins separated at birth and adopted into two different families.  The local news picked up the story as a feel-good piece and it made its way through the wire to David Kellman, living in Long Island, who picked up the paper and saw his own face in duplicate.  The three young men met, instantly connected, and began building their lives around one another.  Their respective families hit the roof and initiated proceedings to sue the adoption agency for failing to disclose that the boys were a matched set but were stonewalled.  It took a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist to break open the real story.

I don't want to spoil it for anyone because the movie does go to some lengths to tease this out.  I don't agree with this choice, I think it weakens the ending, but that's me.  It's currently streaming on Tubi with ads.

Palm Springs (2020)

  This was better than I thought it would be.  It got nominated for two Golden Globes and won the Critics Choice award for Best Comedy but 2020 was a shit year so my expectations were still really low.

Sarah (Christina Milioti) is Maid of Honor at her sister's (Camila Mendes) wedding and is just trying to hook up with moderately charming guest, Nyles (Andy Samberg), when he is shot by a bow-wielding lunatic named Roy (J.K. Simmons).  She follows him into a glowing cave only to find that this has now trapped her in a time loop, reliving the same day over and over.  Nyles, who has been stuck in the loop for God knows how long, explains the ropes:  nothing matters, choices are immaterial, and the future is forever but always the same.  Slowly, these two immature adults grow as people while confronting their own demons and Roy, who is pretty pissed about the whole "trapped in time" thing.

This leans into the nihilistic humor of Groundhog Day but manages to not lose the kernel of hopefulness that underlies that movie.  Samberg is Samberg and your mileage will vary on how much you enjoy his particular schtick, but Milioti is very good in this.  It's not a bad hungover/sick with a cold watch either.  It's light, entertaining, and isn't going to tax any brain cells.  Currently streaming on Hulu.

Hundreds of Beavers (2024)

  This was hugely popular in Movie Club but I will flat tell you, I didn't like it.  I don't care for slapstick.  Never have.

An alcoholic Apple Jack brewer (Ryland Brickson Cole Tews) must learn to become a fur trapper after beavers destroy his brewery, leading him on an epic journey to find love and purpose.

It's shot in black and white, mostly silent, and has early cartoon energy that takes a joke and keeps repeating it in more and more absurd ways.  Like I said, went over huge with normal people.  It's gotten a lot of word-of-mouth recognition and is poised to become a cult classic in the next ten years.  It was not for me.  However, if it seems like something you will like, I encourage you to seek it out on Kanopy with a library card, or Tubi with ads.  

97th Oscar Nominations (2025)

 So far, this month has been a shitshow and I have been struuuugglinnnnnng.  Similarly, the Oscars were supposed to be announced on Monday but got pushed back to today because of fires.  Like the dumpster fire that is my life.  Anyway, here's some nominees.

Best Picture

Anora
The Brutalist
A Complete Unknown
Conclave
Dune: Part 2
Emilia Perez
I'm Still Here
Nickel Boys
The Substance
Wicked

Best Supporting Actor

Yuriy Borisov - Anora
Kieran Culkin  - A Real Pain
Edward Norton - A Complete Unknown
Guy Pearce - The Brutalist
Jeremy Strong - The Apprentice

Best Costume Design

A Complete Unknown
Conclave
Gladiator II
Nosferatu
Wicked

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

A Different Man
Emilia Perez 
Nosferatu
The Substance
Wicked

Best Original Score

The Brutalist
Conclave
Emilia Perez
Wicked
The Wild Robot

Best Live-Action Short

A Lien
Anuja
I'm Not a Robot
The Last Ranger
The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent

Best Animated Short

Beautiful Men
In the Shadow of the Cypress
Magic Candies
Wander to Wonder
Yuck!

Best Adapted Screenplay

A Complete Unknown
Conclave
Emilia Perez
Nickel Boys
Sing Sing

Best Original Screenplay

Anora
The Brutalist
A Real Pain
September 5
The Substance

Best Supporting Actress

Monica Barbaro - A Complete Unknown
Ariana Grande - Wicked
Felicity Jones - The Brutalist
Isabella Rossellini - Conclave
Zoe Saldaña - Emilia Perez

Best Original Song

"Never Too Late" - Elton John: Never Too Late
"El Mal" - Emilia Perez
"Mi Camino" - Emilia Perez
"Like a Bird" - Sing Sing
"The Journey" - The Six Triple Eight

Best Documentary Feature

Black Box Diaries
No Other Land
Porcelain War
Soundtrack to a Coup d'Etat
Sugarcane

Best Documentary Short

Death by Numbers
I Am Ready, Warden
Incident
Instruments of a Beating Heart
The Only Girl in the Orchestra

Best International Feature

I'm Still Here - Brazil
The Girl with the Needle - Denmark
Emilia Perez - France
The Seed of the Sacred Fig - Germany
Flow - Latvia

Best Animated Feature

Flow
Inside Out 2
Memoir of a Snail
Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl
The Wild Robot

Best Production Design

The Brutalist
Conclave
Dune: Part 2
Nosferatu
Wicked

Best Sound

A Complete Unknown
Dune: Part 2
Emilia Perez
Wicked
The Wild Robot

Best Visual Effects

Alien: Romulus
Better Man
Dune: Part 2
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Wicked

Best Actor

Adrien Brody - The Brutalist
Timothée Chalamet - A Complete Unknown
Coman Domingo - Sing Sing
Ralph Fiennes - Conclave
Sebastian Stan - The Apprentice

Best Actress

Cynthia Erivo - Wicked
Karla Sofia Gascon - Emilia Perez
Mikey Madison - Anora
Demi Moore - The Substance
Fernanda Torres - I'm Still Here

Best Directing

Jacques Audiard - Emilia Perez
Sean Baker - Anora
Brady Corbet - The Brutalist
Coralie Fargeat - The Substance
James Mangold - A Complete Unknown

A lot of overlap here from the Critics Choice and Golden Globes, as to be expected.  Feeling pretty good about myself for having seen 3 Best Picture nominees already.  That's way more than usual.  

You guys know the drill by now.  This blog is now Oscar central until March 2.  Check back here for... I was going to say updates but that's kind of dumb since you'll be able to see all the posts from the side menu there.  I guess check here to see how many I get done?  All in one convenient list?