Horror Watch 2025 - Day 12 - Host (2020)

  Okay, the first thing you need to know is that this poster is wildly overselling this movie.  It is not the scariest film of the past decade.  Not even close.  Content warning:  blood, violence

Bored in quarantine, six friends get together on a Zoom call to have a seance.  Only Haley (Haley Bishop) is a true believer; the rest are just there for a good time.  But when Jemma's (Jemma Moore) joking angers an entity, all the participants are suddenly fighting for their lives.

Before I delve too deeply, let me say that I enjoyed watching this.  It's not a bad movie.  Better than Paranormal Activity but not quite as good as Unfriended.  Maybe because I saw Unfriended first.  I had to get my praise in early, because the rest of this is probably going to sound super negative.  

This was filmed during the pandemic and it is not subtle.  All of the characters are isolated, forced to watch their friends suffering, unable to help or even help themselves as an invisible force invades their homes and kills them.  It is 56 minutes long, so it barely even qualifies as a feature-length film but that works to its advantage.  There's no time to really establish them as characters unless you have been part of a similar kind of friend group.  Then you can do some mental shortcuts.  Should they have spent more time fleshing them out?  Eh.  I was good with just the bare bones, especially since that meant there was more time to focus on the supernatural shit happening.  If anything, I would have put extra into the ending, since that did feel very rushed and unsatisfying.  Can't hate the hustle, though!  It's currently streaming on Netflix.

Horror Watch 2025 - Day 11 - Stay (2025)

  Man, if you think relationship counseling sucks, imagine if your therapist was a spirit.  Can't even escape your problems in death.  Content warning:  drowning, suicide

Kiara (Megalyn Echikunwoke) and Miles (Mo McRae) were a couple once.  But now they are separated, estranged, and trying to move the rest of their stuff out of what they thought was going to be their forever home.  Desperate to feel some kind of connection, Kiara performs a spell to reach back to the spirits of her ancestors, but frees something else instead, trapping her and Miles in the house.

This is like the sweeter, kinder version of Bring Her Back.  There's no gore, no blood, just a lot of crying and watching a couple Go Through It.  It's steeped in West African folklore, which is great to see.  I would have like a sharper script but honestly, I'm not mad at it.  It's nice.  This is a ghost story for people who don't like horror.  Which is fine!  Baby steps are still steps!  Maybe you just want a little something spooky  that isn't going to raise your blood pressure.  This is for you!  It's streaming on Hulu.

Horror Watch 2025 - Day 10 - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers (1988)

  It's not a Halloween horror watch without a legacy franchise sequel.  Also, I ran out of streaming services really quickly so we're back to my TBW list.  Content warning:  blood, some gore

Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur) was confined to a state facility after murdering a whole bunch of people in 1978.  Now, a decade later, he is being transferred to a different one.  It seems safe since he's in a coma after being shot and set on fire by his former psychiatrist, Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance).  But one of the transfer doctors casually mentions that Myers has a 7-year-old niece, Jamie (Danielle Harris), living in his hometown, which snaps him out of it pretty handily.  Refreshed and looking to once again end his family line, Myers powerwalks to Haddonfield.  Loomis knows Myers is Evil Incarnate and is not looking to add another tiny victim to his conscience.  He reaches out to the Sheriff (Beau Starr) as well as the local drunk vigilante group, because he is taking no chances.

This movie does not overstay its welcome, I can tell you that.  It is a tight 88 minutes and it gets right to the point.  It's also a lot more tame than I was expecting.  There's violence, sure, but not nearly as graphic or lurid as other entries.  There is a lot of crying, though.  Like a LOT.  

It's streaming on AMC+ which I get through Amazon.

2025 Horror Watch - Day 9 - Organ Trail (2023)

  This one is just a victim of its own marketing.  How are you going to call yourself Organ Trail and not have cannibals??  I don't even feel bad about it.  You did this to yourself.  Content warning:  dead animal (rabbit), blood, dog/wolf whimpering (not on-screen, but audibly a dog/wolf/coyote gets caught in a trap and chews its own foot off, then leaves a blood trail.  It's not part of the plot and is never referred to again so if you are sensitive, I would fast-forward about a minute before pressing play.)

A family in the wilderness come across another covered wagon that had its inhabitants murdered.  They take in the survivor (Olivia Grace Applegate) only to learn the hard way that she is not what she seems.  Now Abigale (Zoe de Grand Maison) must find a way to survive and avenge her family from the gang of murderers who would deliberately injure a woman to use her as bait.  

Ah, the return of Women's Horror proper.  This isn't terrible, but it's also not very good.  It's fine.  Clearly, a lot of effort and thought went into it.  It's just that the characters aren't compelling and the story is basic.  There's nothing about it that makes it unique or special.  It's not a rape-revenge, thank God, and it was written by a woman (also a plus) who gave her female characters agency and recognized that Black people existed in the Old West as landowners and contemporaries, not just slaves and servants.  All good.  I just don't think it went far enough.

If you like a little smashing-the-patriarchy with your Halloween candy, it's currently streaming on Paramount+.

2025 Horror Watch - Day 8 - Bring Her Back (2025)

  I know this is supposed to be the new hotness this year but I think it's wildly overhyped.  Content warning:  blood, dead animals (chicken), vomit, child endangerment

When Andy (Bill Barrett) and his blind step-sister, Piper (Sora Wong) are orphaned, they are adamant that they not be separated.  The system puts them with Laura (Sally Hawkins), a former child counselor, who seems like an ideal match.  She even had a daughter (Mischa Heywood) who was also blind so she knows the accommodations Piper needs without coddling her.  But when the kids arrive, Andy finds that Laura isn't all that she seems and the other foster child in the house, Ollie (Jonah Wren Phillips), a selective mute, is almost unbearably creepy.  The more he tries to figure things out, the more isolated he becomes from Piper, who is literally and metaphorically blind.  

This is an A24 film and it's trying really hard to be an A24 film.  Honestly, I think Hereditary ruined some people.  Like, do they know it's okay to make horror movies that aren't about the grieving process?  There is some really cool imagery here and the makeup design for Ollie is excellent but it's so sad and just drags on forever.  Very disappointing.  

It's currently streaming on HBO Max or whatever the hell it's calling itself now.

2025 Horror Watch - Day 7 - Haunted Mansion (2023)

  This is not the one with Eddie Murphy though they are both based on the same Disney ride.  Content warning:  Jared Leto

A widower (LaKeith Stanfield) takes a substantial payout from a single mother (Rosario Dawson) to do spectral photography inside her new mansion.  He thinks the job is bullshit until a watery ghost follows him home and he learns that the hauntings only stop once he returns to the mansion.  Now, trapped inside with a priest (Owen Wilson), a medium (Tiffany Haddish), and a local historian (Danny DeVito), he must discover what kind of spirit is behind the truly shocking number of murders committed on the property.

Stanfield is just one of those ridiculously charismatic actors.  Even in this shameless cash grab, he was riveting.  Far better than the movie deserved.  He almost single-handedly elevates this from "annoying, gimmicky schlock" to "mostly fun, if a little forgettable and corny."  The child actor, Chase Dillon, was also very good and has a promising career ahead of him.  There are a bunch of cameos from Jamie Lee Curtis, Daniel Levy, Winona Ryder, Jo Koy, and Marilu Henner.  Dawson never gets the credit she deserves but she put in her time here and I respect it.  

If you really, really like the Haunted Mansion ride or your kids have seen pretty much all the other family-friendly Halloween movies already, this isn't bad.  It's streaming on Disney+.

2025 Horror Watch - Day 6 - Dead of Night (1945)

  Okay, I cheated a little bit to break that weird streak.  This one is from my TBW queue.  Content warning:  ventriloquist dummy, suicide

Walter Craig (Mervyn Johns) keeps having a recurring nightmare about meeting six people at a country house and having something horrible happen.  He tries to convince them that his dreams are real, but Dr. Van Straaten (Frederick Valk), a psychiatrist, disbelieves.  So several of the guests take turns recounting their own brushes with the supernatural.  

This movie is great.  The framing device is a little weak but the cast is phenomenal.  Each story feels fully fleshed out, like its own full episode, but doesn't drag the movie down.  Now, not every story is a winner.  The golf one irritated the shit out of me, personally.  But I can recognize that it was meant to be a mood lightener.  Obviously, the final one is the standout with an incredible performance by Michael Redgrave.  And Hugo, of course.  People talk about "dream logic" in films, which never lands for me, but the nightmare sequence here is actually quite jarring.  There are some great makeup effects in the crowd scenes.  

It's streaming for free on Kanopy, if you have a library card and it's definitely worth checking out if you like your horror more atmospheric and British.

2025 Horror Watch - Day 5 - Match (2025)

  As the poster says, this is Tubi Original, so I did not have high expectations but it turned out to be really fun.  Content warning:  gore, blood, vomit, attempted sexual assault, dead animal (rat), maggots, some body horror (fingernails, toes, penis)

Paola (Humberly González) is braving the online dating scene when she finally finds what she thinks is a true match in Henry (Luke Volker), who is hot, smart, and likes all the same Turner Classic Movies that she likes.  Against her sister's (Shaeane Jimenez) advice, Paola accepts an invitation to dinner at Henry's house, only to be greeted at the door by his mother (Dianne Simpson), the first of many rude awakenings she is going to have over the course of the next couple of days.

Ah, Millennial horror!  This is a nice complement to Women's horror, which is again just stuff that happens to women.  As someone who is newly single myself, it was very easy to relate to the character early on because the dating scene has always been exactly this bleak.  Catfishing has always been a thing, as far back as Cyrano de Bergerac.  Still, this was a highly entertaining horror romp, even if it verged a little far into overt grossness for me.  There's some queer representation, a lot of disability representation, and most of the cast was people of color.  If this is checking any of your boxes and you don't mind ad breaks, give it a shot on Tubi.

2025 Horror Watch - Day 4 - CAM (2018)

  I do think it's very funny that so far I've been alternating between 2025 and 2018.  I don't know why it worked out like that but I'm not mad about it.  Content warning:  suicides (gun, knife), blood

Alice (Madeline Brewer) works as a camgirl.  As Lola, her popularity is rising, especially as she does more extreme shows, but she can't quite break into the top ranks.  One day, she opens her computer to see that her channel has been stolen by someone who looks exactly like her.  IT support is useless, the cops are worse, and Alice is growing increasingly concerned that she's not the only one being replaced.

When this came out, it was probably really interesting as a concept but now we have Tilly Norwood so the horror of real life has once again eclipsed the horror of imagination.  This future is stupid.  It doesn't ever come out and say what or who is behind the fake account, but we know.

I feel terrible saying it but Brewer will forever be Janine from Handmaid's Tale to me.  The whole time I was watching this, I was like "mmm-hmm, this is why Aunt Lydia hated you."  But bless her, she was very game, considering the entire movie rested on her performance.  

The movie is pretty positive towards the cam performers, which I am not well-versed enough in to know if it's an accurate portrayal of the industry.  Some shit seems pretty universal, though.  It's more of a thriller than straight horror.  There's no jump scares or supernatural flourishes.  If that's your bag, you'll probably enjoy this.  It's streaming on Netflix.

2025 Horror Watch - Day 3- House on Eden (2025)

  Another goddamn found footage movie.  I should have known better.  Content warning:  mild gore

A trio of ghost hunters get a tip about an abandoned house off Eden Road.  When they arrive (30 minutes into a 78-minute long movie), they discover a fully furnished, immaculately clean Victorian house and immediately break in.  They deploy all their various ghost-hunting paraphernalia and make contact with something.

This is every bad found footage trope you can imagine.  It's lazy, derivative, and wastes a potentially cool demon/entity by not doing the most basic research.  And the shaky-cam!  Horrendous.  At one point, I was praying a ghost would take the camera because then it would at least be steady.  And possibly in focus.  There is zero reason to waste your time on this one, but nonetheless it is streaming on Shudder which I get through Amazon Prime.

2025 Horror Watch - Day 2 - The Meg (2018)

  There's no theme this year.  It's whatever pops up first on whatever streaming service I happen to be running.  Unfortunately, since I now have to pay for my own Hulu account, I lost all the curated recommendations and this was what the new one offered.  Content warning:  dead sea animals (inc. whales :(, sharks, and squid), moderate gore, some dismembered human limbs.

An investigative sub is exploring previously uncharted depths in the Mariana Trench and discover a prehistoric shark that they accidentally release into populated waters.  So they hire Jason Statham to rescue everyone.

I forgot he started out as a professional diver.  Every time he jumped in the water, I was like "damn, that was really clean."  

This is a big dumb action movie, not a horror movie, but it's still pretty entertaining.  It did drag in the middle, because it's trying to do that lull-you-into-a-false-sense-of-security thing, but it mostly just felt like the movie was about to be over and then it just kept going.  I checked and there was still 45 minutes left on the runtime!  

If you like Jason Statham, this is a slam-dunk.  He bounces between charming rogue and steely-eyed hero like he always does, but still has time to give Boyfriend Material vibes to the hot single mom (Bingbing Li) by being nice to her adorable moppet (Shuya Sophia Cai).  It's streaming on Hulu.

2025 Horror Watch - Day 1 - Weapons (2025)

  I thought Barbarian was good, but this is great.  Zach Creggar is who I wanted Oz Perkins to be.  Content warning:  gore, blood, cannibalism, vomit, clowns

An entire schoolroom of children vanish overnight, leaving a town's worth of parents angry and grieving.  One, Archer (Josh Brolin), is convinced the kids' teacher, Justine (Julia Garner), knows more than she's saying so he begins stalking her.  Justine is sure that the only boy left behind, Alex (Cary Christopher), is the key but she's been forbidden from talking to him directly by the principal (Benedict Wong), who is rightly concerned for her physical safety.  Neither Archer nor Justine is prepared for the truth:  something much older and darker.

Movie Club had a special group watch as soon as this dropped on digital because some people had seen it in theaters and knew there would be massive spoilers posted as soon as people could get screenshots.  And they were right.  The etiquette is that everyone mutes themselves, which is also the right decision, because no one needed to hear me absolutely cackling over this film.  It is outright hilarious, especially the last 10 minutes.  Instant classic horror comedy.

I am cheating a bit because I did watch this a couple of weeks ago but it's been a difficult year for me and I'm not entirely sure I can do an entire month of horror.  I'm going to try really hard but don't expect much of a theme this year.  

Weapons is still only available to rent or buy but it is 100% worth the rental, especially if you're planning to watch with friends.

Miami Vice (2006)

  This movie sucks.  

Miami cops Sonny Crockett (Colin Farrell) and Ricardo Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) go undercover as drug runners to try and bring down Yero (John Ortiz), only to learn that he's actually just a middleman for a much more dangerous cartel leader named Montoya (Luis Tosar).  

Haha, that synopsis makes this movie sound like it's not a chaotic mess with more loose threads than a moth-eaten poncho.  There are so many sub-plots that go nowhere, which is insane since this movie is somehow almost two and a half hours long.  Oh, but we have time for both male leads to have separate shower sex scenes.  (Not with each other.  That might have accidentally improved it.)

This is directed by Michael Mann and features an incredibly stacked cast that could do NOTHING to save it.  The Jaws of Life couldn't save it.  Not E.T.'s magic finger, not a fairy godmother's wand, not the golden ichor of the gods could have saved this movie.  And you know the worst part?  It's not even entertainingly bad.  It's a generic, poorly-written, half-assed police procedural that you could have slapped any title on and been exactly the same movie.  The show Miami Vice takes a lot of crap for being dated and cheesy but it is legitimately iconic.  The movie?  Instantly forgettable.  

It's streaming on Amazon Prime.

Total Recall (1990)

In honor of Movie Club, I'm reposting this.  Originally posted 08 Jul 2012.    I know, it's practically a crime for me to have never seen this film, especially since the remake is coming out in about a month.  I remember flipping channels when I was a kid and seeing the part where he cracks his facemask on Mars and his eyeballs bug out and it completely creeped me out so I changed the channel.  The image stayed with me, though, as my young brain filed away moments like this for a later date when I would be able to understand them.  Now I know that scene is literally right after the opening credits and is nothing more than a nightmare of the protagonist.

Doug Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is an average dude with a blue-collar job and a smoking hot wife (Sharon Stone).  He keeps having recurring dreams, however, about mountain climbing on Mars with a brunette.  His wife thinks it's a reaction to watching constant news of the Martian colonies struggling with rebellion and advises him to turn the TV off for a while.  But when Doug hears an ad for Rekall, a company specializing in implantable memories, he can't resist taking off for a little faux vacation.  He signs up for the deluxe "secret spy on Mars" package and next thing he knows is that he's been dumped in a cab with no memory of where he was.  Then a co-worker inexplicably tries to murder him, telling him that his life has just been a cover-up implanted over his real memories which had been erased.  Which are that he's a secret spy from Mars.

No wonder he sounds like he's gargling rocks.  The man's had so much brain work done it's amazing he can walk without drooling all over himself. 

Doug escapes by yelling and swinging wildly at the stunt people until they all fall over and runs home.  He tells his wife the whole story and she immediately also tries to murder him because, wouldn't you know it, she's an evil secret agent too and she's really married to some other guy (Michael Ironsides).  Doug manages to escape and pick up a briefcase containing a video message from ...himself, or the self he used to be named Hauser.  Hauser was a secret agent who turned on his boss, Cohaagen, the governor of Mars (Ronny Cox), and got caught.  But before his brain got wiped, he made this video tutorial for himself about how to stop Cohaagen's evil plans. 

Doug/Hauser goes to Mars and meets up with the rebellion in the form of Melina (Rachel Ticotin), a prostitute who looks remarkably similar to the woman he keeps dreaming about.  They get shot at a lot but such is the business of trying to stop an evil corporate overlord, right?  Except that there's no guarantee that this is anything other than the stay-cation Doug paid for. 

When I heard they were remaking this movie, I thought "oh, great, Conan wasn't enough?  We gotta have another Total Recall too?" but after seeing it, I think it's ripe for a reboot.  This version did the best it could with practical effects (by the legendary Rob Bottin) and some early blue screen but we can take it so much further now.  From what I've read, it looks like the new one is dropping the Mars angle completely, and also going back to the original source ("We Can Remember It for You Wholesale" by Philip K. Dick) for inspiration. 

I can see why this version has its fans because it's fun in a completely campy way but I'm now looking forward to seeing what the new one will be like.

Wilson (1944)

  This has been in my queue for ages as unavailable but fortunately, someone put the entire thing on YouTube.  Content warning:  blackface portrayal of Teddy Roosevelt for some ungodly reason

This is a lavish, borderline hagiographic biopic of President Woodrow Wilson (Alexander Knox) that follows his political career from President of Princeton University to Governor of New Jersey to President of the United States, but also as a Wife Guy and a Girl Dad.  Turns out having three daughters amply prepares you to stand against Congressional hawks and foreign military engagement.  But Wilson is no mere shrinking violet.  He only wants what's best for the country, in a sternly paternal and professorial way.

I don't know if I can adequately express how bizarre this movie feels.  It's so morally upright and virtuous it's almost a miracle Knox didn't achieve apotheosis during filming.  Between the tearful martyrdom of his first wife (Ruth Nelson) and the whither-thou-goest puppy eyes of his second (Geraldine Fitzgerald), there's enough stand-by-your-man energy to power Tammy Wynette like a dynamo.  And the inspiring stump speeches!  Hope you don't get sick of hearing "Hail to the Chief" every 15 minutes.  But it is surprisingly progressive for 1944.  There's Black people in it!  One of them even has a speaking role!  He's a butler waxing nostalgic about how his family served the First Lady's family, but you know.  You can't have everything.

This won five Oscars, which makes sense, but it didn't win Best Picture (lost to Going My Way) and according to Wikipedia, producer Daryl F. Zanuck was livid.  Apparently, he spent a fortune on promotion only to see it lose out to Bing Crosby in a Roman collar.

Watching this in the Year of Our Dumpster Fire 2025 is especially surreal.  Every single one of Nobel Peace Prize-winner Wilson's policies, ideals, and principles has been eroded, gutted, or sold to the highest bidder.  It's funny in a ha-ha-we're-all-going-to-die kind of way.

Anyway, it's a cool 2 hrs and 33 minutes long so pack a snack but it's free on YouTube if you want to absorb some great costumes and righteous propaganda.

Pokemon the First Movie (1999)

Happy Labor Day!  Here's a movie about gladiatorial combat with cute, fuzzy creatures!  I am not the target audience for this movie.  I was too old when Pokemon came out.  But my partner is a huge fan.  He collects the cards, has all the games, goes to conventions, all the things.  Everything I know about Pokemon, I have learned through osmosis.  It's a surprising amount, though, because I was well-prepared to watch this movie.

Junior Pokemon trainer Ash Ketchum (Veronica Taylor) is having a picnic with friends when a mysterious invitation is delivered.  Someone calling themselves The Master is holding a grand tournament on a private island to see who can Be the Very Best, Like No One Ever Was.  Ash is very excited and heads out right away, only to be told that a massive storm has disrupted the ferry to the island and no one can cross.  Several other trainers see it as no obstacle, using their Pokemon to brave the hurricane.  Ash, Misty (Rachael Lillis), and Brock (Eric Stuart) do the same.  When they arrive at Kindergartner Kumite, they learn their host is actually a genetically engineered Pokemon named Mewtwo (Philip Bartlett) who has become obsessed with world domination.  He has staged this tournament in order to isolate the best Pokemon genetic sequences that he plans to clone and turn into his own private army.  The children are very upset by this because apparently forcing Pokemon to fight their clones is bad, despite it being the basis of their entire society.  Unsporting because it's an existential crisis, maybe?  Anyway, a literal actual demigod named Mew shows up, and everyone learns about the power of friendship.

This movie has a 17% on RottenTomatoes, which isn't really fair.  I don't know shit about Pokemon and I thought it was okay.  Actual fans probably really enjoy it.  I know my partner remembers seeing it in theaters at 10-years-old.  You can't tell him this isn't a cinematic masterpiece.  Anyway, Pokemon is a cultural juggernaut and you probably know at least one child who is super into it.  This is for them.  It's not currently streaming anywhere but the Blu-ray triple-feature with all the movies is like $10 on Amazon.

Blind Vaysha (2016)/4.1 Miles (2016)

  Here's a couple more shorts.  

First up is Blind Vaysha, an eight and a half minute long animated film based on a short story of a girl whose left eye can only see the past and whose right eye can only see the future.  She can never experience happiness because she has no present.  

I found it overly moralizing and not nearly as clever or provocative as it thought it was being.  Would rather read the folklore, honestly.

  4.1 Miles is a documentary short produced by The New York Times.  It follows a Greek Coast Guard captain who rescues Afghani refugees trying to cross the Mediterranean Sea in overcrowded crafts not designed for the journey.  

I want you to open another tab on your browser and pull up a map.  Find Afghanistan.  Now find Greece.  Consider the level of desperation you have to have to consider crossing that amount of distance with absolutely nothing but a backpack.    

There was a different doc short called Lifeboat from 2018 that covered the exact same thing, except they were a German non-profit.  It was a whole-ass humanitarian crisis and I have no idea if it is still happening because there have been like 20 other whole-ass humanitarian crises since then.  I'm so tired, y'all.

Both films are available on YouTube.

Pear Cider and Cigarettes (2017)

  Finally getting around to some of the Oscar nominated shorts from 2017.  Still working through my burnout.  

A narrator (Robert Valley) recounts the story of traveling from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada to China in order to get his childhood friend to stop drinking long enough to have a black-market liver from a death-row prisoner transplanted.  

This is not a fun or happy story.  The animation is slick, anime-inspired, and completed entirely in Adobe Photoshop.  It is an adult animation, so there's some nudity but nothing super egregious.  It's about half an hour long and available on YouTube or Vimeo.  I'd never watch it again but it was very pretty to look at.

Barbarian (2022)

  For my birthday week, I got to pick the selections for Movie Club and I picked The Adventures of Prince Achmed and Barbarian.  Didn't have a theme in mind, but they worked pretty well together anyway.  Content warning:  sexual assault (off-screen), violence, some gore

Tess (Georgina Campbell) booked an AirB&B in Detroit for her job interview, but when she arrives, she finds that it has been double-booked and a strange man (Bill Skarsgaard) is inside.  A tense night is made worse by strange occurrences in the house, leading to the discovery of a hidden door in the basement.

I laughed so hard during this movie.  I don't want to spoil anything for you but this was one of the most delightful movies I've seen this year.  Wildly entertaining.  It has a triptych-style story with tonally jarring edits at the breaks that could have felt like being bludgeoned but if you just go with it, I promise it's worth the whiplash.  Cannot wait to inflict this on everyone I know.  

It's currently streaming on Netflix but they are taking it off at the end of the month (31 Aug) so hurry or you'll miss your chance.

Thunderbolts (2025)

  It's my birthday weekend!  And I have spent it going on ghost tours, wearing incredible outfits, watching aerial silk performers, and having a great time with all kinds of friends, near and far.  I also watched some movies.

Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh) has been just existing since her sister Natasha died.  She's been doing freelance "cleanup" work for CIA director Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) but feels like she's drifting without purpose.  She takes one final job, catch a thief at a top-secret research facility, and then she plans to quit.  But the job is a trap to tie up all of Valentina's loose end covert operatives that she's been running like her own private death squad:  John Walker (Wyatt Russell), the disgraced Captain America replacement, Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen), who can barely stay on this plane of existence without technological help, and Taskmaster (Olga Kurylenko), the tragic Red Room experiment.  While arguing over how to escape, they also discover Bob (Lewis Pullman), who has apparently been stuck in the facility for however long.  Turns out Valentina had a plan for a new post-Avengers world by creating her own superhero, Sentry, and Bob was the only test subject that survived.  Barely limping away from the trap, the misfit antiheroes are "rescued" by Alexei, the Red Guardian (David Harbour), and then almost immediately captured by freshman congressman and permanently tired dude Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan).  Bucky has been trying to get Valentina removed from her position but the wheels of justice are moving a little slowly.  And his resources consist of a team of fuck-ups and war criminals and an inside source with a wavering conscience.  But hey, everybody's got problems.  Especially when Valentina's control over Bob isn't as strong as she thought.

Marvel has been on a decline in popularity but this was a solid entry and I'm a little sad it's not getting the levels of praise it would have in a pre-Endgame world.  I get it.  It's hard to build a replacement team after your all-stars but --Oh holy shit, have I just discovered why sports people are they way they are??  Oh no.  I...have to go re-evaluate some things in my life...

Currently, it's only available for rent, but it's dropping on Disney+ Aug 27.

Divines (2016)

  This is a super cute female friendship movie right up until the Trauma.  Content warning:  sexual assault, violence

Dounia (Oulaya Amamra) and Maimouna (Déborah Lukumuena) are best friends in the Paris projects.  They idolize Rebecca (Jisca Kalvanda), a hardcore girlboss drug dealer, for her flashy lifestyle and badass demeanor.  Dounia especially sees Rebecca as a stand-in maternal figure and becomes ever more desperate for her approval.  

I have straight up not been having a good time this month so the whole time I was watching this, I kept anticipating something bad happening to one or both girls but I didn't guess the specific thing which still sucker punched me.  I'm not going to do spoilers but FYI, not a happy ending.  It definitely lessened my enjoyment of the film, which sucks because the three actresses were phenomenal.  Kalvanda was menacing and charismatic and Lukumuena's face was so expressive.  I hope both have incredible careers ahead.  But this was Amamra's movie and she took every scene.  A tiny powerhouse.  

So if you're in the mood for a depressing, feel-bad character drama, Divines is streaming on Netflix.

Fargo (1996)

  I didn't post last week because I had a couple of deaths in the family.  I can't believe I've never posted a review of Fargo but it got picked for Movie Club so I re-watched it.

Car salesman Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy) has a problem:  he has committed fraud and needs almost half a million dollars or he'll get caught.  He knows his father-in-law (Harve Presnell) has the money, so he comes up with a scheme to hire two criminals (Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare) to kidnap his wife, Jean (Kristin Rudrüd), and hold her for ransom.  Things do not go to plan and as the body count rises across multiple jurisdictions, police chief Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) begins pulling apart the various strands leading back to Jerry.

This was pretty much an instant classic when it came out and it continues to be held in high regard.  I have had my ups-and-downs with the Coens but I can't deny that Fargo is a great movie.  It's got the alchemy of a great cast, great writing, and great direction.  Sometimes you can have all three and still not work out, but when you do, it really is movie magic.  There are still some things I would change (because I'm an asshole) but not enough to even talk about.  If you've never seen it, you definitely should.  Also, the TV show is very good as well.  It's streaming on Kanopy with a library card or Tubi and Roku for free with ads.

Superman (2025)

  I wasn't going to see this but my friend got tickets and I'm glad she did.  This was much better than I thought it would be.

Three years after revealing his existence to the world, Superman (David Corenswet) has engaged in his first globo-political controversy.  He intervened in the annexation of poor, underdeveloped Jarhanpur by its overpowered neighbor, Borovia, going so far as to threaten the Boravian president (Zlatko Buric) with bodily harm.  Superman knows Borovia has nefarious intentions, but doesn't know that they are being bankrolled by billionaire whiny man-baby Lex Luthor (Nicholas Hoult).  Luthor has poured uncounted amounts of money into this scheme, which involves tearing small holes in the fabric of reality because fuck everyone on the planet if it means he can kill Superman.  

Thank God it's not another origin story.  Also, it is in very bright colors!  Like it was filmed in daytime and everything!  

It is recognizably a James Gunn film.  Your mileage may vary on that depending on how burned out you are after the sheer volume of work Gunn has produced within the superhero genre on film and TV, for Marvel and DC.  I enjoy the banter, snappy action scenes, deep-cut soundtracks, and style of humor.  For me, the standout performance was Edi Gathegi as Mr. Terrific.  His line delivery was so perfect.  Also, Rachel Brosnahan made a great Lois Lane.  She was smart, determined, and reminiscent of Margot Kidder's performance without the neurotic edge.  The whole movie felt like a throwback to Richard Donner's Superman down to using the iconic original score (complimentary).  It's currently playing in theaters.

Kpop Demon Hunters (2025)

  This movie is so fun.  Even if you're not into K-Pop.  

Huntr/x are pop stars by day and demon slayers by night, the latest in a long line of singers that maintain a magical web keeping the Demon King, Gwi-Ma (Lee Byung-hun), from stealing the souls of mortals.  But Gwi-Ma has a plan to destroy the girls before the web becomes permanent.  He sends Jinu (Ahn Hyo-seop), a human turned demon, to form a rival boy-band to steal all of Huntr\x's fans.  Lead singer Rumi (Arden Cho) is pissed but believes there's still some good in Jinu, especially after he refrains from revealing her own terrible secret.  

I found the animation a little off-putting.  There's just something about it that doesn't gel for me.  But the whole movie is so freakin' cute, I stopped caring about a third of the way in.  It is fizzy bubblegum for your brain.  Utterly charming.  And the soundtrack is phenomenal.  I'm not a big K-Pop person (I like BLACKPINK and that's about it) but I immediately bought this one.  So good.  It is streaming on Netflix.

UHF (1989)

  I didn't have anything to post yesterday because I DNF'd a bunch of stuff.  I've been having a hard time finding movies to watch lately.  Probably the aforementioned burnout.  Content warning:  some gore, animal death (dogs), child endangerment

George ("Weird Al" Yankovic) keeps getting fired from menial jobs for daydreaming until his uncle (Stanley Brock) lets him run the local UHF TV station, U-62.  George stumbles upon Stanley Spudowski (Michael Richards), a janitor fired from an evil network affiliate, and gives him a chance as host of a kid's show.  Stanley is an overnight success and catapults U-62 to the top of the ratings.  Evil Network Affiliate Boss (Kevin McCarthy) vows to crush the tiny upstarts.

Like a lot of 80s movies, there are aspects of this that have aged like milk and others that have remained staggeringly current.  If you saw Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, you probably already know if this style of humor is for you or not.  I liked it but I've been a Weird Al fan since I was in middle school.  

I'm not going to get super sappy about it, but it struck me that all of George's success comes from being kind and all of the villain's nastiness contributes to his downfall.  That sounds really simple, but a lot of modern shows and movies have moved away from direct narratives and more into post-modern and fatalistic "this is just how the world works; you can win for a little while but you'll eventually be ground down" mentalities.  Again, could just be the burnout talking but it was great just letting good guys win because they're good.  

Anyway, UHF is streaming on Kanopy for free with a library card. 

Lionheart (1987)

  You ever see something as a kid and it imprints on your little brain but then no one has ever heard of it and you can't find it anywhere so you start wondering if you made it up?  That's this movie for me.  I have an intensely vivid memory of watching this at home (my town didn't have a movie theater) so it must have been a rental from the corner gas station (I am extremely old, ladies and gentlemen) but I couldn't remember the name of it and no one ever seemed to know what I was talking about when I described it.  Thank God for IMDb because I was able to look up Eric Stoltz's entire filmography and find it a few years back to add to my TBW queue.  Because of course it's not streaming anywhere.  I feel like the only person who knew it existed (with the possible exception of Mr. Stoltz).  And that is a crying shame.  Because if you are between the ages of 9- and 12-years-old, this movie fucks.  Content warning:  child endangerment, blood, mild violence

Robert (Eric Stoltz) is a young nobleman desperate to join King Richard's crusade in the Holy Land.  He runs away from home and stumbles upon two circus kids, Michael (Dexter Fletcher) and Blanche (Nicola Cowper), heading to Paris.  Michael throws knives and Blanche sees the future in her dreams.  She recognizes Robert by his golden spurs and tells him his destiny is to meet King Richard the Lionheart by the sea.  There are dangers on the way, however, in the form of the Black Prince (Gabriel Byrne, looking all kinds of evil and fine), a notorious disillusioned knight who snatches children and sells them to the Moslems (I know.  It's lazy and racist.  Just grit your teeth.)  Robert must find allies and lead his charges to safety.

I cannot emphasize enough how many boxes this checked as a kid.  You had knights on white horses, kids with magic powers, kids with bonded animals (falcon), a female knight who's too badass to be tamed, played entirely straight with the kind of urgency that is super cringy in adults but seems completely natural to children.  It is basically Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with the cast of Oliver.

As I said, it's not streaming anywhere but LookMovie.to.  I found a DVD on Amazon for less than $9.  Physical media forever.

After Hours (1985)

  I'm going to consider this a corollary to Women's Horror.  Content warning:  suicide

Paul (Griffin Dunne) is a typical 80s yuppie.  He's stuck in a job that pays well but is boring with no upward mobility, and he's lonely.  During a bout of insomnia, he meets Marcy (Rosanna Arquette) at a diner and decides to try his luck.  Thus setting in motion a series of events that results in the worst night of his life.

Okay, so we previously defined Women's Horror as "what if we just showed what women's lives are like" and believe it or not, this counts.

Paul spends the majority of the night second guessing the intentions of every woman he meets, being hounded, harassed, and at one point literally imprisoned as he grows increasingly desperate for help.  Now, because he is a man, this is played for dark humor.  If he were a woman, this would be a slasher/thriller.  Which drags us back around to dark humor, actually.

This was directed by Martin Scorsese and it is probably the biggest outlier of his filmography.  He has made movies with humor before but never an out-and-out comedy.  Now whether you consider this to be successful as a comedy or not is entirely your perception.  It's streaming on Kanopy for free with a library card.

Predator (1987)

   This movie is awesome.  Content warning:  gore, blood, animal death

An elite group of soldiers goes into the South American jungle on a purported rescue mission only to find themselves hunted by an invisible alien.

I don't love the Predator series as much as I love Alien but I do still love it.  I re-watched the original recently for Movie Club and it remains hugely fun.  Everyone has huge muscles, is lightly oiled, and carries the biggest guns they possibly can while getting absolutely merc'd by an interstellar dentist on safari.  Amazing.

Popstar: Never Stop Stopping (2016)

  Your enjoyment of this film will be directly related to how tolerable you find Andy Samberg and/or Lonely Island.

Conner (Andy Samberg) split from his boy band to go solo(-ish because he kept his buddy Owen (Jorma Taccome) on backup) and had a wildly successful debut.  But now, with his sophomore album, interest is waning and Conner is willing to do almost anything to stay in the spotlight.

It's not really a parody so much as it is a paint-by-numbers music biopic comedy.  It's basically an extended SNL skit with a massive budget.  If that is your jam, you've probably already seen this, honestly.  The original songs are fine.  I didn't find them super funny or interesting but that kind of works for the character, a paper-thin man-child on the edge of being a has-been at 22.  There are a ton of cameos from actual pop musicians, again lending to the SNL-ness of it all, and a surprisingly subdued performance from Sarah Silverman that kind of stole the show for me.

Seems like a good background movie for cooking or cleaning your house.  It's streaming on Netflix.

Never on Sunday (1960)

Happy 4th of July, Americans!  This is another Jules Dassin movie where he plays a bumbling doofus who ruins everything.  The man was working through some things.  

Homer Thrace (Jules Dassin) is an American in Greece looking for the cure for all the world's ills.  Ills he has defined as a divergence from the Ancient Greek philosophical ideals.  Ilya (Melina Mercouri) is a prostitute in a small coastal town.  She chooses her own customers, makes her own hours, is beloved by the townsfolk, and believes in making your own happy endings, no matter how sad the story.  So obviously, Homer becomes obsessed with trying to "fix" her.  

A lot of older movies don't hold up all that well but this remains a banger.  Ilya is a great character and Mercouri plays her to the hilt.  The tone is light and fun with zero judgment.  Homer is a stuck-up scold but it's played for laughs.  

It's streaming on Amazon Prime.

Melvin and Howard (1980)

  This did not win Best Picture at the Oscars, in case you can't read that tiny print.  It won with the National Society of Film Critics.  Content Warning:  domestic violence

Melvin (Paul Le Mat) is an average guy with maybe more optimism than brains.  The kind of guy who would help an old man (Jason Robards) out in the desert get to Vegas, but also the kind that can't stop himself from spending every dime he has on a boat when his wife (Mary Steenburgen) wins on a game show.  Years later, Melvin sees that the old man he helped was actually Howard Hughes and a mysterious stranger (Charles Napier) leaves him a Last Will & Testament handwritten by Hughes bequeathing Melvin $156 million.  

This is based on a true story.  A handwritten will purportedly by Howard Hughes showed up at the Church of Latter-Day Saints temple in Salt Lake City, Utah, naming Melvin Dummar a beneficiary.  It was eventually ruled a forgery.

This was directed by Jonathan Demme and won Steenburgen a rightly deserved Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.  It's not a bad film, although it really does highlight how ubiquitous domestic violence was in society.  Break out your VPN if you want to watch it, though, because it is not streaming anywhere.

A Woman Under the Influence (1974)

  Yeesh.  Content warning:  physical abuse, emotional abuse, child endangerment

A housewife (Gena Rowlands) slowly goes mad from neglect and boredom while her idiot husband (Peter Falk) flails ineffectually.

Shocking no one, I hated this movie.  It's long, boring, and interspersed with domestic violence that has aged like milk.  Somehow, it's considered a classic.  

Rowlands is very good but it almost feels like a wasted performance because I will never watch this movie again.  As always, your mileage may vary.  It's available on the Criterion Channel.

Sinners (2025)

  I was worried this wasn't going to live up to the hype but it definitely does.  Content warning:  violence, some gore

Sammie (Miles Caton), a young blues player, gets his big break playing the opening night at his cousins' new juke joint.  Smoke (Michael B. Jordon) and Stack (Michael B. Jordon) made some money in Chicago before returning to their Mississippi hometown and are looking to build up (and profit off) the Black community.  Sammie has a gift but gifts draw attention and that attention comes in the form of Remmick (Jack O'Connell).

No one spoiled this twist for me and I encourage all of you to go in as blind as you can but I can't not talk about it.  **SPOILERS FOLLOW**  Vampires.  Irish folk-playing, step-dancing vampires.  I hath screamed the loudest screm that has ever been scrummed.  Ryan Coogler said From Dusk Til Dawn can eat his entire ass and he was correct and right to do so.  Whew.  **END SPOILERS**

Everyone in this is phenomenal.  It was a bloody, fun ride all the way through.  The soundtrack is also great.  I immediately bought both it and the movie.  This is going to be one I re-watch a bunch of times. Just solid, incredible work.

Sully (2015)

  This would have been a great Father's Day post.  Oh well.

In the days after a forced water landing on the Hudson River, airplane pilot Captain Chesley Sullenberger (Tom Hanks) must defend himself in an inquiry by the NTSB to determine what, if anything, could have been done better.  

My brother recommended this to me a long time ago.  It's a little hagiographic for my taste but this is a solid Dad-movie directed (of course) by Clint Eastwood.  Tom Hanks has the appropriate amount of gravitas, Aaron Eckhart radiates charm, and it's stuffed to the gills with character actors whom you'll recognize even if you have no idea what their names are.  If you're looking for a nice quiet movie to put on so your dad can nod off while he swears he's just resting his eyes, look no further.  It's engaging but not so much so that you'll be irritated if someone texts you while you're watching.  

Currently streaming on HBO Max.

Captain America: Brave New World (2024)

  Finally got around to seeing this.  

Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie) is still having trouble settling into his role as the new Captain America.  He wants to be independent of the political machine of new President Thaddeus Ross (Harrison Ford) but knows he can't operate in a vacuum.  Matters come to a head when Wilson's mentor, Isiah Bradley (Carl Lumbly), attempts to assassinate Ross at a White House function.  Wilson believes Bradley was somehow brainwashed and begins looking for the culprit, while Ross is under immense pressure from the Japanese who accuse him of manufacturing this attack as a false flag so America can get out of an agreement to share a newly discovered resource, adamantium.  

This was a filler movie.  No question.  It exists to set up the Fantastic Four and by extension, the X-Men for future movies.  I get it.  This brings back the 2008 Incredible Hulk characters, minus you know, the famous ones, furthers the Celestial plotline from Eternals which most people have forgotten about, and introduces the new Falcon (Danny Ramirez) and a new Widow (Shira Haas).  To use a sports metaphor, these are team-building years.  The MCU lost its major players and is trying to pull new talent and build the fanbase back up.  From what I've seen of sports enthusiasts, no one likes this.  But it is necessary.  People age out.  People get tired of playing the same role.  Hell, several major players actually died.  There is no such thing as an unchanging ever-winning team.  

So I'm willing to extend a little grace here.  Is this a good Captain America movie?  No.  But I hope it's building up to one.  (Oh no, does that mean I'm a Mets fan?)

Wrath of Man (2021)

  Man, Guy Ritchie really hates women.  Content warning:  violence

A gangster (Jason Statham) goes undercover at a private armored car company to discover the inside man who killed his innocent bystander son (Eli Brown) in a shootout.

It's not a mystery.  Get real.  It's a Guy Ritchie Jason Statham movie.  It barely has a plot.  It's one violent set-piece after another, interspersed with whatever bro-speak Ritchie thinks is cool now.  And normally, that would be enough for a good time but for whatever reason, this somehow lacks the alchemy of fun.   It takes itself way too seriously for a movie with a Post Malone cameo.

The only good thing about this movie is the tailoring.  Shout-out to the costume department.

It's streaming on Tubi for free and it's still overpriced.

Rififi (1955)

 A group of low-level criminals hatch a plan to rob a jewelry store but are betrayed by their human impulses.  This is kind of an anti-Ocean's movie.  Content warning:  violence, child endangerment

Tony (Jean Servais) has just gotten out of prison and needs quick cash.  His friend, Jo (Carl Möhner) knows a couple of guys with a score in mind.  They take a few days to recon and plan the heist but Tony is distracted by trying to find Mado (Marie Sabouret), the woman who left him while he was in prison, discovering that she's now the moll of a low-level gangster named Pierre Grutter (Marcel Lupovici).  

This is a black-and-white French crime noir and I feel like you probably already know if that's your jam or not.  Personally, I thought it was very good.  The heist is immaculate and I dearly love seeing people do something well.  It's awesome that a 70-year-old movie can still be this riveting.  The second half suffers a little in comparison but I was still on board.

Unfortunately, it's not streaming right now but keep an eye on Criterion and Kanopy.  If it does show back up, it'll probably be there.  

Heart Eyes (2025)

  I took a little hiatus from posting that turned into a much longer hiatus than I expected, but I'm back now.  And it seems fitting that the first post after an absence would be a horror rom-com.  My favorite and least favorite genres smashed together in defiance of God.  Content warning:  blood, gore, violence

Marketing executive Ally (Olivia Holt) created a morbid ad campaign for her boss's (Michaela Watkins) jewelry company because she was still reeling from a breakup.  Now she has to deal with the hotshot --emphasis on hot-- freelancer her boss brought in to make changes.  Jay (Mason Gooding) is a hopeless romantic and eager to get on Ally's good side, inviting her out on Valentine's Day to the most romantic restaurant in Seattle, and inadvertently making them a target for a serial killer.  The Heart-Eyes Killer has been moving from city to city, killing couples on V-Day in gruesome ways.  Ally and Jay are not a couple, but it's hard to explain the circumstances when you're running for your life from a crossbow-wielding anti-Cupid.

If you like horror and hate rom-coms, this is hilarious.  If you like horror and rom-coms, this is hilarious.  If you hate horror and like rom-coms, this might be too much.  If you hate both, why are you here?  Go back to watching sad character dramas, freak.

The ending does kind of drag on but the majority of this movie is a rollicking good time filled with excessive gore and every rom-com trope known to man.  And for my 90s kids, it's got supporting turns from Jordana Brewster and Devon Sawa.  It's streaming on Netflix.  

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (2023)

  Another easy watch.  Content warning: blood, clowns

Sasha (Sara Monpetit) has a moral imperative not to eat human beings, which is a problem because Sasha is a vampire.  Her parents, dad (Steve Leplante) especially, have tolerated it as a quirk --the cryptid equivalent of being a picky eater-- but at 68, it's time for some tough love.  They send Sasha to live with her cousin, Denise (Noémie O'Farrell), in the hopes that she will learn a killer instinct.  Instead, she meets Paul (Félix-Antoine Bénard), a suicidal teen willing to be Sasha's first victim.

Longtime followers of this blog (or really, anyone who's ever mistakenly engaged me on this subject in real life) know that self-hating vampires are one of my biggest narrative pet peeves.  It's hard to see someone live out your dreams, much less be ungrateful about it.  Nevertheless, this is a very cute movie.  It's a little Amelie, a little Girl Walks Home Alone at Night with some Only Lovers vibes.  It toes right up to the line of being twee but the supporting characters save it.  It's currently streaming on AMC+ and Shudder, which I get through Amazon Prime.  Check it out if you like cozy horror.

The Taste of Things (2023)

  Are you overwhelmed by *gestures broadly*?  Do you like watching highly competent people cook things?  Do you like beautiful presentation in food?  How about genial anecdotes delivered in soft-spoken French?  Try The Taste of Things!

Dodin (Benoît Magimel) is a retired professional chef who now only cooks with Eugénie (Juliette Binoche), his loving co-chef who refuses to give up her independence by marrying him.  They prepare beautifully balanced multi-course meals for a small circle of gourmand friends and mentor a young prodigy (Bonnie Chagneau-Ravoire) in their country home in the late 19th century.

This is a very easy watch.  There's no villain, no real conflict, just lovely food being prepared by gifted people.  Currently streaming on Hulu and Kanopy if you have a library card.  It would make a good companion piece with Chocolat, if you want a double dose of Binoche.  

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

  We continue the martial arts trend with Crouching Tiger, the OG for a lot of people (including myself) for an introduction into the genre.  I saw this in theaters my first year away from home and it was a transformative experience for me.

Li Mu Bai (Chow Yun-Fat) has decided to give up his quest for vengeance against the murderer of his master.  To symbolize his resolve, he makes a gift of his sword, the Green Destiny, to a long-time patron, Sir Te (Sihung Lung), trusting his friend Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh) to deliver it.  Unfortunately, the sword is stolen the first night.  Shu Lien believes the culprit is the governor's daughter, Jen (Ziyi Zhang), rebelling against her upcoming marriage, but has no proof.  The truth is both stranger and darker.

There is a lot going on in this movie.  It is very operatic in its themes, balletic in its movements.  I normally hate this descriptor, but it has a very dream-like feel, especially in its transitions between present and past.  This can make it seem slow-paced if you are used to more traditional action movies.  I love it, though.  It holds up really well for being 25 years old.  It's streaming on (sigh) Max but I've literally owned the DVD since 2000.

House of Flying Daggers (2004)

This was the movie I chose to introduce people to wuxia, wire-fu, and Zhang Yimou.  I remembered it as being beautiful and sad.  I did not remember it as being borderline rapey.  There's at least two scenes of sexual assault and one of a peeping tom.  Content warning on that.  Also, as I was dragging this post back to the front page, I realized I never actually described the plot.

Jin (Takeshi Kaneshiro), a police officer, goes undercover to discover the leader of the Flying Daggers, an anti-government resistance movement that has eluded capture, by ingratiating himself to Mei (Ziyi Zhang), a blind dancer, but as the stakes get higher, Jin begins to have real feelings for Mei that complicate his mission even further.

It's very twisty, lots of shifting loyalties, lots of beautifully shot action sequences.  I stand by my choice.  Originally posted 26 May 2010.    I remember the first time I saw this movie in theaters. It was 2004 and I was living in Georgia. My (at the time) husband and I went to see this because we were both big Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fans.

I was so pissed over the ending. I felt completely cheated and I didn't understand at all, which made me hate it. And yet... The imagery and story stayed with me. I found myself mulling over it at the oddest times during the next six years. So I bought it. It's rare for me to feel anything for longer than a moment, and I always want to reward (or at least possess) things that accomplish that.

I re-watched it for the first time since on Wednesday. Maybe I'm more cynical now, but the ending made a depressing sort of sense. Don't get me wrong, I seriously doubt I would ever do the same, but it didn't feel like a betrayal. I was able now to see it as an even more highly stylized operatic fantasy than CTHD. The vividness of the colors, the shifts in season that don't correspond to reality, and of course the spectacular stunt-work combine to tell a story that I can at least respect, even if I can't identify with it.

My last boyfriend was a Chinese linguist and we had numerous discussions about Asian films. I don't think we referenced this one by name (I think we were talking about The Curse of the Golden Flower) but I mentioned how depressing it was that **SPOILER ALERT** everyone dies **END SPOILER** at the end of every Chinese movie. He said that it was just part of the style of film-making over there. Even their comedies end like that. Call me culturally insensitive, but I prefer to have at least ONE major character live to see the end credits. Still, I can't fault them. They told a story and they told it well. It may not be how I would have written it, but I can't hold that against them.

Rambo: Last Blood (2019)

  Talk about a series with diminishing returns.  Content warning:  gore, rape (off-screen), violence

John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) has settled into retirement on his family farm in Arizona, spending his time training horses and raising his niece, Gabby (Yvette Monreal).  But when Gabby goes missing in Mexico on an ill-advised attempt to find her birth father, Rambo has to dust off all the skills he thought he put away for good.

And I thought Rambo was bad.  At least that was so over-the-top it was entertaining.  This was a humorless slog.  There's nothing really new or interesting happening in it and the cinematography is so muddied you couldn't tell if there was anyway.  Stick with the original three.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (2015)

  I took last week off to adjust to having a new job. For the last four years, I have worked from home but now I'm in the office five days a week and it was kicking my ass.  Content warning:  cancer

Greg (Thomas Mann) is trying to get through high school without any meaningful relationships.  He has one friend/co-worker, Earl (RJ Cyler), with whom he makes parody films, and a teacher (Jon Bernthal) who lets him watch movies with Earl during study hall, but that's it.  All's well until his mother (Connie Britton) makes him hang out with Rachel (Olivia Cooke), a girl his age who has cancer.  

I don't have anything against the "kids with cancer discover romance" genre but it's not really my bag.  This one isn't bad, though.  The supporting performances from adults like Bernthal, Molly Shannon, and Nick Offerman really help leaven the schmaltzy overdramatic teen drama.  Cyler gets reduced to kind of a caricature and that's a shame because he's very charismatic.  

I started watching this a couple of weeks ago, right after the Oscars and it took me days to get through so pace yourself.  It's streaming on Hulu.

No Other Land (2024)

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature    The last of the nominees I managed to watch (32 in total this year!) before the ceremony and it was the winner of its category.  Content warning:  dead people, gun violence

A young Palestinian man and his Israeli friend document the ongoing destruction of Palestinian homes in the West Bank of Gaza by the Israeli army.

I'm glad this won.  Even if it feels like too little, too late.  It will be an important record in the future, the way the documentaries about Syria and Ukraine will be.  I'm not going to go on a long-ass rant about it.  

It has no distribution in the United States so dust off that VPN.  Maybe an Oscar win will overcome some cowardice, maybe not.  It's worth searching out.

Black Box Diaries (2024)

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature    Content warning:  description of rape

Journalist Shiori Ito documents her legal and social battle after publicly accusing a prominent news anchor of raping her.  

Every year we have to have this conversation.  And every year it is just as infuriating.  Please realize that women put their lives at risk to call out rapists, especially prominent ones who can weaponize police forces and have government leaders on speed-dial.  Civil suits are often the only way to get any kind of justice but there is literally no amount of money that can un-rape someone.  

Anyway, it's streaming on Paramount+.

The Six Triple Eight (2024)

Nominated for Best Original Song    The women of the 6888 deserved better than this.  Content warning:  war violence, blood, racial slurs

Lena (Ebony Obsidian) decides to join the Women's Auxiliary Corps after her boyfriend (Gregg Sulkin) is killed during WWII.  As a Black woman, the only unit available is the Six Triple Eight, led by Major Charity Adams (Kerry Washington).  MAJ Adams has been training these women but never receiving any orders to actually do anything useful until General Holt (Dean Norris) assigns them to be the new postal battalion in the European theater.  It sounds like a meaningless job until MAJ Adams realizes that her battalion is meant to organize, sort, and deliver over 17 million pieces of mail in six months.  They were set up to fail but they persisted.

This is a remarkable story that deserved better than this vehicle.  It's schmaltzy, filled with montages, poor characterization, and abysmal dialogue.  Washington, Obsidian, and Milauna Jackson do their level best to rise above the material but this could have been a Hallmark special.  It's honestly insulting but it's also the only attempt made to bring this story to a wider audience.  That is a shame on behalf of the entire film industry.  It's streaming on Netflix.