UHF (1989)

  I didn't have anything to post yesterday because I DNF'd a bunch of stuff.  I've been having a hard time finding movies to watch lately.  Probably the aforementioned burnout.  Content warning:  some gore, animal death (dogs), child endangerment

George ("Weird Al" Yankovic) keeps getting fired from menial jobs for daydreaming until his uncle (Stanley Brock) lets him run the local UHF TV station, U-62.  George stumbles upon Stanley Spudowski (Michael Richards), a janitor fired from an evil network affiliate, and gives him a chance as host of a kid's show.  Stanley is an overnight success and catapults U-62 to the top of the ratings.  Evil Network Affiliate Boss (Kevin McCarthy) vows to crush the tiny upstarts.

Like a lot of 80s movies, there are aspects of this that have aged like milk and others that have remained staggeringly current.  If you saw Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, you probably already know if this style of humor is for you or not.  I liked it but I've been a Weird Al fan since I was in middle school.  

I'm not going to get super sappy about it, but it struck me that all of George's success comes from being kind and all of the villain's nastiness contributes to his downfall.  That sounds really simple, but a lot of modern shows and movies have moved away from direct narratives and more into post-modern and fatalistic "this is just how the world works; you can win for a little while but you'll eventually be ground down" mentalities.  Again, could just be the burnout talking but it was great just letting good guys win because they're good.  

Anyway, UHF is streaming on Kanopy for free with a library card. 

Lionheart (1987)

  You ever see something as a kid and it imprints on your little brain but then no one has ever heard of it and you can't find it anywhere so you start wondering if you made it up?  That's this movie for me.  I have an intensely vivid memory of watching this at home (my town didn't have a movie theater) so it must have been a rental from the corner gas station (I am extremely old, ladies and gentlemen) but I couldn't remember the name of it and no one ever seemed to know what I was talking about when I described it.  Thank God for IMDb because I was able to look up Eric Stoltz's entire filmography and find it a few years back to add to my TBW queue.  Because of course it's not streaming anywhere.  I feel like the only person who knew it existed (with the possible exception of Mr. Stoltz).  And that is a crying shame.  Because if you are between the ages of 9- and 12-years-old, this movie fucks.  Content warning:  child endangerment, blood, mild violence

Robert (Eric Stoltz) is a young nobleman desperate to join King Richard's crusade in the Holy Land.  He runs away from home and stumbles upon two circus kids, Michael (Dexter Fletcher) and Blanche (Nicola Cowper), heading to Paris.  Michael throws knives and Blanche sees the future in her dreams.  She recognizes Robert by his golden spurs and tells him his destiny is to meet King Richard the Lionheart by the sea.  There are dangers on the way, however, in the form of the Black Prince (Gabriel Byrne, looking all kinds of evil and fine), a notorious disillusioned knight who snatches children and sells them to the Moslems (I know.  It's lazy and racist.  Just grit your teeth.)  Robert must find allies and lead his charges to safety.

I cannot emphasize enough how many boxes this checked as a kid.  You had knights on white horses, kids with magic powers, kids with bonded animals (falcon), a female knight who's too badass to be tamed, played entirely straight with the kind of urgency that is super cringy in adults but seems completely natural to children.  It is basically Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with the cast of Oliver.

As I said, it's not streaming anywhere but LookMovie.to.  I found a DVD on Amazon for less than $9.  Physical media forever.

After Hours (1985)

  I'm going to consider this a corollary to Women's Horror.  Content warning:  suicide

Paul (Griffin Dunne) is a typical 80s yuppie.  He's stuck in a job that pays well but is boring with no upward mobility, and he's lonely.  During a bout of insomnia, he meets Marcy (Rosanna Arquette) at a diner and decides to try his luck.  Thus setting in motion a series of events that results in the worst night of his life.

Okay, so we previously defined Women's Horror as "what if we just showed what women's lives are like" and believe it or not, this counts.

Paul spends the majority of the night second guessing the intentions of every woman he meets, being hounded, harassed, and at one point literally imprisoned as he grows increasingly desperate for help.  Now, because he is a man, this is played for dark humor.  If he were a woman, this would be a slasher/thriller.  Which drags us back around to dark humor, actually.

This was directed by Martin Scorsese and it is probably the biggest outlier of his filmography.  He has made movies with humor before but never an out-and-out comedy.  Now whether you consider this to be successful as a comedy or not is entirely your perception.  It's streaming on Kanopy for free with a library card.

Predator (1987)

   This movie is awesome.  Content warning:  gore, blood, animal death

An elite group of soldiers goes into the South American jungle on a purported rescue mission only to find themselves hunted by an invisible alien.

I don't love the Predator series as much as I love Alien but I do still love it.  I re-watched the original recently for Movie Club and it remains hugely fun.  Everyone has huge muscles, is lightly oiled, and carries the biggest guns they possibly can while getting absolutely merc'd by an interstellar dentist on safari.  Amazing.

Popstar: Never Stop Stopping (2016)

  Your enjoyment of this film will be directly related to how tolerable you find Andy Samberg and/or Lonely Island.

Conner (Andy Samberg) split from his boy band to go solo(-ish because he kept his buddy Owen (Jorma Taccome) on backup) and had a wildly successful debut.  But now, with his sophomore album, interest is waning and Conner is willing to do almost anything to stay in the spotlight.

It's not really a parody so much as it is a paint-by-numbers music biopic comedy.  It's basically an extended SNL skit with a massive budget.  If that is your jam, you've probably already seen this, honestly.  The original songs are fine.  I didn't find them super funny or interesting but that kind of works for the character, a paper-thin man-child on the edge of being a has-been at 22.  There are a ton of cameos from actual pop musicians, again lending to the SNL-ness of it all, and a surprisingly subdued performance from Sarah Silverman that kind of stole the show for me.

Seems like a good background movie for cooking or cleaning your house.  It's streaming on Netflix.

Never on Sunday (1960)

Happy 4th of July, Americans!  This is another Jules Dassin movie where he plays a bumbling doofus who ruins everything.  The man was working through some things.  

Homer Thrace (Jules Dassin) is an American in Greece looking for the cure for all the world's ills.  Ills he has defined as a divergence from the Ancient Greek philosophical ideals.  Ilya (Melina Mercouri) is a prostitute in a small coastal town.  She chooses her own customers, makes her own hours, is beloved by the townsfolk, and believes in making your own happy endings, no matter how sad the story.  So obviously, Homer becomes obsessed with trying to "fix" her.  

A lot of older movies don't hold up all that well but this remains a banger.  Ilya is a great character and Mercouri plays her to the hilt.  The tone is light and fun with zero judgment.  Homer is a stuck-up scold but it's played for laughs.  

It's streaming on Amazon Prime.