Turandot (2005)

This is not the official poster for the movie I saw, which was the 2005 production of Opera Australia, but you have to admit it's pretty cool looking.

Turandot is an opera set in China, sung in Italian, and played by Australians.  That always cracks me up.  Giacomo Puccini really liked setting his operas in new far-flung places like Imperial China, Japan, and even the Wild West.  This was his final opera and he died before he could finish it.

The story itself is based on a Persian folk tale about a Princess who demands that her suitors must answer three riddles to win her hand in marriage.  If they fail, they are killed.  A deposed king, his son, and a slave girl arrive right about the time her latest would-be-husband gets the axe.  First the new prince decries such cruelties and then he catches a glimpse of her and decides it might be worth it.

He rings the gong and announces his candidacy.  The princess is not impressed.  He has no kingdom, no money, and possibly a new government looking to kill him.  Hell, I wouldn't marry him either.  But the conditions have been set and there's no going back now.  She asks her questions and, unbelievably, he gets all of them right.  Then he turns the tables, seeing that she's not a gracious loser by any means (frankly, she's kind of a raging bitch which means she's both filthy rich and drop-dead gorgeous otherwise nobody would have bothered).  He tells her that she can still have him killed if she figures out his name before dawn.

This is really the only part of the opera that I like.  "Nessun dorma" is probably one of the most beautiful pieces for a tenor ever written.  I only wish Kenneth Collins had done it a bit more justice.  The last crescendo is supposed to be sweeping and epic and he sounded like he was reaching a little too hard for that top note.  But then, I sound like a cat shitting a rusty tin can when I sing so I really shouldn't judge.

Anyway, he completely misjudges how much she doesn't want to get married when he makes his little offer because the first thing she does is haul in his old blind dad and the slave girl to have them tortured.  Unnamed Prince probably should have thought that one through.  The slave girl volunteers to be tortured to death so they don't go after the old man because she's in love with the prince.  Turandot really doesn't understand that concept but instead of being impressed with her devotion, orders that the name be torn from her.  Slave Girl falls on a dagger rather than betray her love...who feels bad but not enough to say "fuck it, I don't want to marry you" before she dies.  Actually, immediately following that scene, he spends about 20 minutes trying to feel up Turandot so I guess he doesn't feel bad about it at all.

Royalty are a bunch of bastards.

She falls in love with him after they make out and even though he tells her his name she doesn't have him killed.  Because what independent women who resist marriage and other socially-mandated roles really need is some hot lovin'.  That'll change her ways!

The production wasn't the best.  The sets were too dark, and (although I am aware that opera is about the voices and the people are really just space-holders) Ealynn Voss was way too old to be playing a nubile princess.  Still, I encourage people to get out and see the actual opera if you can find it.