The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

 So most of my friends and family know that I take Krav Maga lessons.  Many of them suspect it's part of my plan to eventually become a ruthless dictator of a third world country.  I admit nothing.

While visiting with Christy, I had the opportunity to eat dinner over at her dad's (my mother's brother) house.  His wife, Sue, mentioned that Brendan Fraser took Krav Maga to prepare for some of the stunt-fighting used in Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.  I had steered clear of the movie because the reviews just weren't that great (13% on Rotten Tomatoes, ouch!) but since they had it on DVD, why not?

I read a review on IMDB criticizing the writing for the abysmal dialogue but I don't think that was the real problem.  I think that the writers had a decent handle on who the characters were and certain actors completely let them down.  Chiefly, Luke Ford (Alex O'Connell) and Maria Bello (Evelyn O'Connell).

In Maria Bello's case, it's not really her fault.  She took over the part from Rachel Weisz, who had really made the role her own, and I don't think she was allowed to make any real changes to the personality.  If she had been allowed to play less breathy, more jaded I think it would have worked.  But it was like seeing a bargan Stepford replacement of Evie O'Connell. 

The real turd in the punchbowl of this movie, though, is Luke Ford:  the Americanized college dropout son of Rick and Evie.  Like Sean William Scott in The Rundown but with less of a personality.  While he was adorably cheeky in the second movie (and English), his charm completely deserted him upon puberty.  He was so wooden you could have used him for a sarcophagus.   

Everybody else seems to be playing their characters the way they did in the last couple of movies.  The Chinese cast are all very professional.  Jet Li is angry and demanding as the emperor, Michelle Yeoh is graceful and serene as the sorceress, and Isabella Leong is pouty and plucky as the assassin.  You really can't ask for more from an action movie. 

Seriously, Luke Ford was so bad, every time he was on-screen I found myself pretending part of the scenery had lines so I didn't even have to look at him.

Pictured:  Luke Ford

Oh!  Before I forget:  so Jet Li can shape-shift as part of his mummification.  He turns into a three-headed dragon in order to fly down from the Himalayas and then he turns into some sort of weird-ass horned bear-thing to get through a zombie army and under the Great Wall (don't ask).  The weird-ass bear thing is a Shisa, a Chinese guardian lion.  You're welcome.