Iron Sky (2012)

  Space Nazis.  I'm not even kidding.  I had read about this movie probably a year or so ago on Twitch.com and thought it sounded hilarious.  Rob agreed and, as soon as it was available, he got it online.  

Holy shit, this is a terrible movie.  Like oh my God terrible. 

In the year 2018, the President of the United States (Stephanie Paul), a woman who is not called Sarah Palin but who is obviously Sarah Palin, is up for re-election.  She attempts to win votes by sending a team of astronauts back to the moon.  Unfortunately, the two stumble across a hidden Nazi base on the dark side of the moon.  One of the astronauts is taken prisoner and interrogated as to whether he is the first wave of shock troops from the Earth.  But it turns out that James Washington (Christopher Kirby) is just a male model hired by the President's PR lady for the publicity of being the first black guy on the moon.  The Moon Nazis have never seen a black person.  Their resident Earthologist, Renate (Julia Dietze), is intrigued but her fiance Klaus (Gotz Otto) is disgusted.  But, in the spirit of charity because that's what Nazis are known for, they decide to "fix" Washington by turning him white.

That's right, people, we are deep into White Chicks territory now.

Washington is less than appreciative of the gift of whiteness but is convinced by Renate to play along for his own safety.  They go back to Earth and Washington takes them to the President's campaign manager, Vivian (Peta Sergeant).  Far from believing that they are actually Nazis from the dark side of the moon because it's laughable, Vivian recruits them as speechwriters for the President's re-election.  Because Nazis love speeches.  Get it?  In the intervening time, Washington has become a crazy hobo.  Renate, fresh from her makeover as a Fascist Fashonista, runs into him on a street corner and attempts to tell him that the People's Party is all about peace and love.  She makes her point by taking him to see what she believes is a ten-minute short film by Charlie Chaplin called The Great Dictator.  Let's just say that the version she was used to was heavily edited. 

Meanwhile, Vivian is trying desperately to see Klaus' little soldier but he will not be swayed from his goal of world domination by something as meaningless as heaving bosoms.  Especially after the Fuhrer (Udo Kier) himself comes down to execute him for treason.  Klaus prevails, killing the one named actor you might have heard of, before flying back to the moon in preparation for a full scale invasion.  We're talking zeppelins towing meteors.  I will say that again.  Zepplins.  In Space.  Towing.  Meteors.  We have reached a point of whatthefuckery that can no longer be measured.

Fortunately, the President is prepared with a suped-up spaceship loaded with nuclear weapons.  She just so happened to have it lying around in case the moon just so happened to have a supply of helium-3 that might need to be defended.  From watching the (far superior) movie Moon, I can tell you that it does.  Renate and Washington also have a dog in this fight as they are trying to shut down the Gotterdammerung super-weapon being powered by Vivian's stolen iPad. 

That is actually a plot point.  I did not make that up.

The whole movie is ridiculously over-the-top and so close to cheesy greatness it could almost touch it.  It falls short by being too on the nose.  A little more subtlty and innuendo would have seen this movie improve by a lightyear.  Instead it crashes and burns...like a zeppelin-towed meteor.