The Day of the Jackal (1973)

  I have a new hero, you guys.  His name is The Jackal and he's a professional killer.  We're totally going to get married.

Sadly, he's not real and bears no relationship to actual assassin Carlos the Jackal.

In 1962, French President Charles DeGaulle (Adrien Cayla-Legrand) agreed to independence for Algeria.  This infuriated members of the armed forces who had been fighting against Algerian resistance so they formed their own group, the OAS.  They attempted to assassinate DeGaulle themselves, but when the attempt failed they decided they needed an outside player.  OAS leadership reviewed their options and finally decided on an Englishman codenamed The Jackal (Edward Fox).  He was to kill DeGaulle by any means necessary.  The French police learned of the planning from a captured OAS bodyguard and assigned Inspector Lebel (Michael Lonsdale) to head a special commission to locate the Jackal.

The story isn't real but you will be amazed at how tense and how real it feels.  The Jackal is meticulous in planning, yet flexible enough to adapt to changing circumstances as the police net closes in tighter and tighter.  He is a total boss.  I was super-impressed with this movie, even though it does take a little while to get started.  It's considered a classic of suspense and totally deserves your attention.  The only issue I had, and it's so minor I hesitate even bringing it up, is that the movie is set primarily in France but the whole film is spoken in English.  I know that was a trend back in the day but I don't approve of it.

City of Angels (1998)

  Today is my friend Kristen's birthday!  This was one of her favorite movies when we were in high school together, if I remember correctly.  I must have heard that Goo Goo Dolls song a bazillion times in her car.  If I was a good friend, I would point out how, even though I didn't personally like the movie, I will always have a soft spot for it because of the associated memories of my friend.  But I'm not, so instead I'm going to talk about how much this movie sucks.

Sorry, Kristen.  Happy birthday, anyway.

First:  a basic rundown of the plot.  Seth (Nicholas Cage) is one of the angels who escorts the souls of the dying, silently observing humanity with the other host.  He is fascinated by humans, at how quick and vibrant their lives are, but things reach a critical point when he meets Dr. Maggie Rice (Meg Ryan), a cardiothoracic surgeon.  Maggie is undergoing her own crisis after having lost a patient on the OR table so when this strange man shows up, she is actually comforted by his presence, which allows her to go forward and operate on the next one, Nathaniel Messenger (Dennis Franz).  Nathaniel is actually aware of the angel in the room because he used to be one, and he tells Seth that he knows a way for Seth and the pretty doctor to live happily ever after.  All he has to do is Fall and then he will become human.

Here's my problem.  I actually had to do a shit-ton of research on angels and their fallen cohorts for an as-yet unpublished novel.  Most of the really cool stuff never made it into the final cut of the Bible and was relegated to the Gnostic gospels.  The Book of Enoch, in particular, talks about the angels and what happened to them.  Now, I am by no means an expert in Christian theology before anybody jumps all over me, but not a single text I read had anything good to say about an angel falling from grace.  This movie blatantly ignores everything religious about an entity whose entire existence is from religion. 

Viewed in that light, it's impossible for me to see this film as anything but a horror movie about the dangers of getting too close and losing your objectivity.  Because I'm fairly sure that Dennis Franz's character is actually the devil.  Think about it.  He has previously fallen and shows up to tempt Seth by dangling a perfect solution:  give up being an angel and you can have the woman of your dreams.  And Seth falls for it, forgetting that a whole wave of angels did that way back in the day, coming down to Earth and getting it on with human women to breed a race of giants.  Goliath was a descendent of one of these unholy unions and we all know what happened to him.

So this is why I didn't like this movie.  They took a key element of Christian iconography and completely secularized it.  Gone is any indication that Seth's actions were a violation of a basic tenet in favor of the completely ridiculous notion that you can fuck an angel with zero consequences.  Dude gave up an eternity at God's side to become a starting forward on Lucifer's team, all for some Meg Ryan ass.  I don't care how cute her hair was in the 90's, that is not a good trade.

The Host (2013)

  Yikes.

I hope you guys know by now how dedicated I am to this blog.  I have my moments now and again but I really try to watch all kinds of movies and provide my honest opinion.  I never walk out of a movie unless it is just beyond garbage.  I will even finish movies when I hate them, in the interests of having a complete idea of what the movie is and give it every chance possible to change my mind.

I didn't do that with this movie.  I made it halfway and had to pull the plug.  It is that bad.

Worse than Twilight.  Yes!  I said it.  I watched all five of those goddamn wastes of film but at least I could watch them all the way through.  This movie sucked ass.

In the future, aliens come to Earth and they take over people's bodies.  Usually, the alien completely supplants its human host but one girl, Melanie (Saorise Ronan), ends up sharing a consciousness with her alien, Wanderer.  Melanie is useful because she can pinpoint a pocket of human resistance which another alien named Seeker (Diane Kruger) wants to know, but Melanie's alien starts to feel sympathy for the captive soul inside her and runs away to reunite Melanie with her family.

Apparently, in the future all cars are made of chrome and there are no ugly people.  Dialogue is stilted and unnatural and love triangles are mandatory.  This is the Stephanie Meyer future.  Suddenly, Skynet doesn't sound too bad, does it?

Pepe le Moko (1937)

  I don't remember why I added this to my queue ages ago.  I read about it on some top 100 list somewhere, I'm sure. It's a good movie, but pretty depressing.

Pepe le Moko (Jean Gabin) is a wanted fugitive after robbing a bank in Paris and fleeing to Algeria.  The cops know it was him and that he has also committed dozens of other robberies but cannot arrest him.  Pepe and his crew are firmly ensconced in the Casbah, the center slum of Algiers, and the police don't have the manpower to cover all the nooks and crannies.  However, Pepe knows that if he should ever set foot outside the Casbah he is done for good and he is effectively in prison already.  Then he meets beautiful Parisienne Gaby (Mireille Balin), who represents all of the freedoms he cannot have.  Slimane (Lucas Gridoux), a policeman assigned to the Casbah, knows that all he has to do is wait for Pepe to slip up.  It's only a matter of time.

I think this is a bit early to classify as a noir which just makes it even more impressive.  There was some dark shit going on in the 30's.  Even though you can kind of tell how the movie is going to go, something about it hooks you in.  I never lost interest the entire running time, which is rare enough lately.  Plus, it was sad, which I usually hate.  This balanced out nicely, though. 

Cinderella (1950)

  If you're not aware, Disney releases classics from their vault every couple of years, but only for a limited time.  If you don't grab a copy then, you're stuck waiting for the next anniversary to roll around unless you're willing to pay obscene amounts of money on Amazon.  I've been trying to convert all my old VHS for a few years now and I only have about three left to do.

I picked up Cinderella a couple of years ago but I just got around to watching it the other day.  Man, this thing looks amazing on blu-ray.  Every color is incredibly vibrant and the soundtrack has been completely remastered.  Of course, because the blu-ray is so good, now you can see every single time the animation doesn't match the recorded track but that's easily forgiven.

Cinderella (Ilene Woods) dreams of going to a ball at the King's castle but her evil stepmother (Eleanor Audley) has other plans, namely her own two daughters Drizella (Rhoda Williams) and Anastasia (Lucille Bliss).  But with the help of her animal friends and a boost from her fairy godmother (Verna Felton), Cinderella discovers that dreams do come true.

Horrible Bosses (2011)

  I try not to use this blog to talk about my personal life but I feel like I should let you loyal readers know what's going on, since I seem to be flakier than usual lately.  I recently started college and I have a summer class four days a week now.  This has eaten up more of my time than I would have initially suspected, despite the fact that I no longer have a regular job.  Being unemployed is stressful enough, add school, and the fact that my boyfriend of three years (Rob, you guys know him by his tag here) is moving to Virginia Beach.  So for the last month, I have been helping him pack and try and separate three years worth of stuff into "his" and "mine".  Hopefully, you guys will cut me some slack on there not being as many posts recently.  I will keep you guys updated if anything major comes up, now let's get to the movie.

Three college best friends, Nick (Jason Bateman), Dale (Charlie Day), and Kurt (Jason Sudeikis), get together periodically to talk about how awful their jobs are.  Nick's boss, Dave Harken (Kevin Spacey), is a manipulative psychopath intent on wringing every drop of productivity from Nick and taking all the credit.  Dale works as a dental assistant for Dr. Julia Harris (Jennifer Aniston) and is constantly sexually harassed.  Kurt's beloved boss (Donald Sutherland) died and left his company to his cokehead son, Billy (Colin Farrell), who is systematically running it into the ground.  The three men decide that the world would be better off without their bosses and decide to pull a Strangers on a Train type scheme, where each man will kill one of the other one's bosses, thus giving the one with motive a solid alibi. 

While it does have funny moments, overall I found the film to be very bland.  Your mileage will vary depending on how much you like seeing Jennifer Aniston and Colin Farrell play against type.  For me, it was a solid meh, the type of movie you catch on cable and leave on because the remote is just out of reach.

Ginger Snaps (2000)

  Don't worry, it's not French.  Just Canadian.

Ginger (Katherine Isabelle) and Brigette (Emily Perkins) Fitzgerald are awkward teens who hate their boring small town life.  As weird and morbid as they are, things get even stranger when Ginger is attacked by a werewolf.  She soon starts to notice disturbing changes with her body, including weird hair growth, strange urges, and oh yeah, a tail.  Soon, Brigitte realizes that she may have to save her sister from a fate worse than high school.

Minus the tail and all the murdering, this is pretty much exactly what going through puberty is like for a teen girl.  I had never made the direct correlation between puberty and lycanthropy before, but once I saw it, it was impossible not to recognize it as truth.  I think anyone who's been a teen girl or been in a house with one knows I'm right.

Most of the effects work is pretty good.  Things get a little wonky near the end but by then you're either strapped in for the ride or you've already turned it off so it shouldn't matter.

I totally spaced on posting on Monday and I'm really sorry about that, you guys.  I'll try not to screw up again.

Curse of Chucky (2013)

  We have now reached our final entry in the Child's Play series.  Round of applause.  After the gory goofiness of Seed, Curse of Chucky takes us back to the horror roots.

Nica Wayne (Fiona Dourif) is a paraplegic living with her controlling mother, Sarah (Chantal Quesnelle), when she receives a package containing a red-haired Good Guy doll.  Soon after that, Sarah dies in an apparent suicide.  Nica's sister Barb (Danielle Bisutti) comes to help handle their mother's assets and brings her husband, nanny, and daughter along.  Alice (Summer Howell) is immediately drawn to Chucky (Brad Dourif) even though he says bad words that she get in trouble for repeating.  Nica starts to notice that wherever Chucky goes, death follows, but it's not soon enough to keep the body count down.

Rob didn't like this one because it wasn't funny (at least, not until the last ten minutes or so), but I appreciated the tonal shift.  I've been impressed with the continuity over all six films especially since this franchise has lasted 30 years.  You can really see the love people had for this character with the way that his story has been treated.  No reboots, no retcons, just building upon established points to create a well-realized evil killer doll.  We could learn a lot from Chucky.

Gene Kelly: Anatomy of a Dancer (2002)

Happy Father's Day, everyone!    This man is a legitimate legend and if you've never really explored his work, you owe it to yourself.

This documentary is actually an episode of the PBS series American Masters.  I got it through Netflix but it's also on YouTube.

Gene Kelly was an American dancer, actor, and director from the 1940's until his death in 1996.  A notorious perfectionist, Kelly demanded the best from everyone he worked with, from Debbie Reynolds to Frank Sinatra to Cyd Charisse.  This practice paid off in dividends, however, with some of the greatest musicals to ever be filmed.  The documentary is fairly short, only about an hour and a half, and features interviews with some of Kelly's contemporaries, his co-stars, and his daughter.  It's a good inside look at one of the titans of entertainment.

Seed of Chucky (2004)

  This was, by far, the funniest entry in the series.

Chucky (Brad Dourif) and Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly) are back to being unanimated dolls starring in a Hollywood slasher movie when they are awoken by their son, Glen (Billy Boyd).  Glen has spent his entire life on a British puppet circuit, believing himself to be an orphan, when he happens to catch sight of an entertainment piece on the "urban legend" of the killer doll and his evil bride.  Being reunited as a family causes Tiffany to long to be human again and she sets her sights on actress Jennifer Tilly as a host.  Tilly is trying desperately to boost her career by petitioning for the role of the Virgin Mary in a new Redman movie while her long-suffering assistant, Joan (Hannah Spearitt), tries to keep everything else in check.  Meanwhile, Chucky tries to bond with his son the only way he knows how --murder-- but Glen doesn't quite have the stomach for it.

I have to give it to Jennifer Tilly, she has a great sense of humor.  She makes jokes at her own expense about being a C-list actress, about her voice, about being considered "fat" in Hollywood, and pretty much everything else.  This film also references every other horror film from Universal classic monsters to Psycho and The Shining.  Even Ed Wood's transvestite horror Glen or Glenda makes the cut.  As a horror film, it doesn't always work, but as a comedy it's pretty decent.

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

  I wasn't planning on seeing this movie in theaters, much less IMAX 3D, but Rob wanted to go and it had gotten really positive reviews.  If that's enough for you, by all means go and see it.  If you're hoping for something spectacular, it's probably better to wait for the rental.

MAJ William Cage (Tom Cruise) is a media relations specialist for the United Defense Forces in their battle against invading aliens called Mimics.  When the commanding general (Brendan Gleeson) tells Cage that he will have the honor of filming on the front lines of their major offensive operation, he runs, gets Tased, and wakes up a buck private in handcuffs under the not-too-gentle supervision of Master Sergeant Farell (Bill Paxton).  His first day of battle does not go well and Cage dies, after killing only one of the aliens.  Then he wakes up in handcuffs again.  Forced to relive the same day over and over again, Cage slowly tries to make sense of what has happened to him.  He learns that war hero Rita Vertasky (Emily Blunt), the Angel of Verdun, might know something about the phenomenon.  To defeat the Mimics, Cage is going to have to train harder than he has ever worked in his life.  He also has to die, a lot.

This is a sci-fi version of Groundhog Day, I don't care what anybody says, but it mostly works.  I wouldn't call it astounding or a breakthrough in any way, but it's a fun popcorn flick.  It was directed by Doug Liman, so the action sequences are tight and don't feel repetitive, even when they are supposed to be.  Instead of doing the exact same shot on the multiple iterations of the day, Liman shoots from a different angle or focuses on a character, trusting the audience to believe.

The supporting cast, with the exceptions of Paxton and Gleeson, are under-characterized and seem more like stock photos of futuristic soldiers.  This is very much the Tom Cruise-Emily Blunt show so don't go in hoping for a plucky sidekick to root for.  Cruise gets to be funny, which he does well enough, plus he dies a lot, for all you haters.

Hollow Man (2000)

  I think this is the most unlikeable character Kevin Bacon has ever played.  Sci-fi with a sleazy edge seems to be a specialty of director Paul Verhoeven.  If I were scaling his movies, I'd say Total Recall has the most sci-fi, least amount of sleaze and move all the way down to Showgirls, for most sleaze, least sci-fi.  I would put Hollow Man after Starship Troopers and before Basic Instinct.

Scientists working at a top-secret lab somewhere in the middle of Georgetown in Washington, D.C. have created a serum to turn living animals invisible to the naked eye.  Turning them back seems to be the stickier issue.  The head of the project, Dr. Sebastian Caine (Kevin Bacon), wants to make the leap to human trials over the objections of his colleagues, Dr. Linda McKay (Elizabeth Shue) and Dr. Matt Kensington (Josh Brolin).  He decides to use himself as a guinea pig and becomes completely transparent.  Unfortunately, the prototype re-visible serum doesn't work, and the longer Caine is stuck as the Invisible Man, the more psychotically unstable he becomes.

This was an interesting movie, as far as where we thought science would be in 2000, but it was ultimately soured for me by the lurid glee with which they showed the villain taking advantage of different women.  I'm not going to say there isn't something appealing about the idea of an invisible lover (who also doesn't speak and cleans my apartment on the way out), but this crossed that fantasy line pretty quickly.  Obviously, this was more about voyeurism and power, but as a woman, that kind of adolescent rape fantasy just doesn't do it for me.

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

  This is the first great mock-umentary and I'm sad that it's taken me this long to see it.

Spinal Tap is a 70's hair band from the UK who had middling success in America and are blissfully unaware of how outdated they really are.  Their manager, Ian (Tony Hendra) is coping with cancelled gigs, a label company irritated with the cover art for the new album, and mounting pressure between the lead singer, David (Michael McKean) and lead guitarist, Nigel (Christopher Guest).  All of this is being chronicled by documentarian Marty DiBergi (Rob Reiner) as Spinal Tap embarks on what would be their final American tour.

You really can't describe this movie and do it any justice.  It has to be seen, probably multiple times.  Keep a sharp eye out for the many cameos littered throughout the film, as well.  Everyone is so young and baby-faced. 

Bride of Chucky (1998)

  This is the British poster.  I liked the tagline better than the American one, which is "Chucky gets Lucky".

Here we are on installment number four of the Child's Play franchise.  It had been seven years after the third film and people were ready for a reboot.  No more hunting down the same old kid over and over, it was time to find fresh blood.

Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly) bribes a cop to get her the destroyed remains of a Good Guy doll from an evidence locker.  She then uses a Voodoo for Dummies book in order to reconstitute the soul of her old boyfriend, Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif).  But when she finds out that Chucky never intended to marry her, she locks him in a baby cage.  In revenge, Chucky traps her in the body of a doll as well and tells her that they need an amulet that was buried with his human body in order to transfer their souls to human hosts once more.  Tiffany calls on her teenaged neighbor Jesse (Nick Stabile) to deliver the two dolls to a New Jersey cemetery for cash.  Jesse really needs the money so he can run away with his girlfriend, Jade (Katherine Heigl), so her psychopathic chief of police uncle (John Ritter) will stop using his municipal authority to harass them.  The pair soon find that killer dolls is a way worse problem to have than an overbearing family member.

This is like a time machine back to my high school days.  The 90's were not a good decade.  We went from grunge to goth and it was not an improvement.  Because the trends were so identifiable, however, this movie will always be dated.  Which is a shame because it's actually not bad.  It's funny, gory, and verging into silliness, but retains just enough of an edge to be re-watchable.  I was never a huge Jennifer Tilly fan, but her acting runs rings around Katherine Heigl.  It's like the only thing she's ever mastered is being shrill on command.

The next one doesn't look as promising, but I'll give it a try.

Beaches (1988)

  Christy made me watch this.  That should probably go without saying.  What might surprise you is that I didn't hate it.  It didn't make me all weepy and emotional but I didn't want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon either.

Meeting by chance on the Atlantic City boardwalk, Hillary (Marcie Leeds) and CC (Mayim Bialik) decide to become pen pals at age 11.  Hillary is the daughter of a rich San Francisco lawyer and CC is a born entertainer trying to become a star.  They don't meet again for ten years, when Hillary (Barbara Hershey) finally escapes her father's control and becomes a lawyer for the ACLU.  She moves to NYC and lives with CC (Bette Midler), still struggling to be a legitimate singer/actress.  Their friendship goes through some lows over the next ten years as CC's career finally takes off and Hillary becomes stuck in an unfulfilling marriage but when they really need each other, they find their way back.

This is definitely a movie about Girl World, so gentlemen may want to bow out.  There is nothing here for you, unless you want a quick primer on the subtle insults women reserve for their best friends.  There were points during the second half of the movie where I winced at one line or another, because you don't say things like that unless you want a fight, and if it's someone who has known you since you were a child, you will bleed for it.  No one knows how to twist the knife like your best friend.

The timeline is a little hard to pin down because all the clothes are so 80's but I think it's supposed to cover at least thirty years.  Barbara Hershey's face looks weird to me, like she still needed to grow into it, and this is long before the days of constant tooth-whitening so everyone's smile looks a little too natural.  Trust me, you'll see.  I'll never own it but I can see why people like it.

The Secret in Their Eyes (2009)

  This is another from my very first Oscar nominations post, so you can see how long it's been in my Netflix queue.  I was shocked at how much I actually enjoyed watching it.  I don't know that I could ever see it again, so I probably won't buy it, but I totally understand why they're trying to do an American remake.

Benjamin Esposito (Ricardo Darin) is haunted by a particular case he worked when he was a lawyer.  (I don't know enough about the Argentinian legal system, but I would guess the equivalent would be state's attorney, even though they're treated more like judge's clerks.)  Liliana Coloto (Carla Quevado) was a beautiful young newlywed who was found raped and murdered in her apartment while her husband was at work.  Benjamin can't let this case go, even though it's been twenty years, and decides to turn it into a novel, flashing back to the events that shaped his future.

If I say any more about it, I'll probably tell you the entire movie because that's the kind of film this is.  There was at least one point where I growled at my TV because a character did something so fucked up out of sheer pettiness, but I don't want to ruin it for you.  Let's say instead that this movie is about consequences, intended and not, and about the paths we fear to tread.  This won the Oscar for Best Foreign Film and completely deserved it.