The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)

  You know I was going to see this.  How could I not?  In addition to building me a new computer for my ever-expanding digital media, Tyler and I went to see Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson team up for some ass-kicking.

Former Belarusian leader, Vladislav Dukhovich (Gary Oldman) is being tried at The Hague for war crimes but all witnesses to his atrocities mysteriously disappear.  As a desperate last effort, leaders of Interpol cut a deal with notorious assassin Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson).  In exchange for his testimony, his wife Sonia (Salma Hayak) will be released from prison.  Unfortunately, the convoy plans are leaked and only Kincaid and Interpol agent Amelia Roussel (Elodie Yung) escape the ensuing bloodbath.  Amelia knows that she can't trust anyone on the inside so she calls on her ex-boyfriend, Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds), a former elite bodyguard who has been disgraced since losing a client, to escort Kincaid to give his testimony.

This is a pretty standard buddy comedy elevated by Jackson and Reynolds being loose versions of themselves.  Salma Hayak is surprisingly hilarious as Kincaid's equally loud, violent wife, while Oldman seems like he's playing in a totally different movie.  His character is extremely serious, just a straight megalomaniac with no exaggerated or comedic affectations.  Don't get me wrong, he's excellent in the part, like he is in everything he does, it just seems like an odd choice considering that every scene without him in it is liberally spiked with the word "motherfucker."

You already know if this movie is for you based on your level of enthusiasm looking at the poster.  It's a popcorn flick for sure, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the hell out of it.  After my recent run of Oscar nominees, I needed some empty mental calories.