Justice League (2017)

  I fully expected this to suck balls.  I wasn't even going to waste money to see it in theaters.  All the fuzzy warmth from Wonder Woman couldn't save it, plagued with rewrites, and Zach Snyder getting all over it, and DC having to sweet-talk Joss Whedon to coming in and salvaging the wreckage.

But salvage he did and Justice League isn't nearly the shitshow I thought it was going to be.  It's not perfect, by any stretch, and it owes plenty to Marvel's Avengers and not just in Whedon.

Superman's (Henry Cavill) death sent ripples throughout the world, awakening an ancient force known as the Mother boxes.  In turn, the boxes call Steppenwolf (Ciaran Hinds) from exile to reclaim them and turn the earth into a chaotic hellscape.  Batman (Ben Affleck) knows he can't defeat this threat by himself so he recruits Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), Aquaman (Jason Momoa), The Flash (Ezra Miller), and Cyborg (Ray Fisher) to join with him and stop Steppenwolf from combining the three boxes.

Honestly, if it weren't for Gadot and Miller, this probably wouldn't be worth watching.  She brings such a warmth and humanity to what could have been a cold, macho posturing.  Every scene with her seemed brighter.  Miller is one of the best young up-and-coming actors emerging today and I am so happy to see him in this role.

I would love to see Momoa get more comedic parts.  He has been typecast as this brooding, stoic, musclebound hero but in interviews he's very lively.  I just hope his solo outing lets us see a bit more of his personality.  Ray Fisher is a total unknown but he has some serious star potential.  I'm actually looking forward to seeing what he'll do next with the role.

And before all of you start thinking that I'm just going to gush with praise over this outing, I have to say something about The Most Expensive Facial Hair in the World.  What the actual fuck.  That has got to be the worst CGI I have seen in a movie from this decade.

For those of you who have better things to do with your lives than troll movie news sites, Henry Cavill grew a mustache for the next movie he is in (Mission:  Impossible 6) before being asked to come back and do a bunch of reshoots for Justice League.  He either was not allowed or refused to shave the mustache, which required the VFX team to remove it digitally.  They only had a certain amount of time to accomplish this so it is very obvious in the movie how many scenes were reshot.  Every time you see Cavill's mouth look like it's trying to move off the screen, it's a reshoot.  In fact, I only counted two scenes where it wasn't.  To me, this is just further proof that Warner Bros. and DC are trying way too hard to seem viable in competition with Marvel.

Serenity (2005)

  I also made Bethany the Work Wife watch this one.  They were going to go up together but I didn't have enough time last week.

River Tam (Summer Glau) is rescued from a government lab by her brother (Sean Maher), who has joined the crew of the ship Serenity, a tight-knit group of misfits and former revolutionaries who do odd jobs around the edges of the galaxy.  Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) leads his merry band through thick and thin, but even he is daunted at the level of response to get River back.  Mal has not yet left a man behind, so he is determined to get to the truth before the government's assassin (Chiwetel Ejiofor) takes them all out.

This was the first experience I ever had with a rabid fandom.  I never saw the show Firefly until after I saw the movie.  And every time I mentioned it, all I ever heard was "You should see Firefly.  It was unfairly cancelled."  Here's my unpopular opinion:  the movie is way better.  It distilled all the magic of the series into two perfect hours and presented it with a bow on top.  Short and sweet.  No wasting your time trying to figure out the proper episode order or dealing with filler bullshit.  Fuck Firefly.  Watch Serenity.

Little Monsters (1989)

  This is the second Christy pick for June.  I had seen it before but not for many, many years so it got a pass to get watched again.

Brian (Fred Savage) has just moved to a new town with his family and everything seems to be going wrong.  His little brother (Ben Savage) keeps screaming about a monster under the bed, stuff is going missing or gets broken around the house, and his parents keep blaming Brian for it all.  On a dare, he switches rooms with his brother and discovers that the monster is real.  Being a forward-thinking kid, he rigs the bed the next night to trap the monster above ground.  Maurice (Howie Mendel) is impressed and offers to show Brian the secret world of monsters under the bed.  It's all fun and games until Boy (Frank Whelan), the head monster, decides that Brian should become a monster himself and kidnaps Brian's little brother to ensure this outcome.

Surprisingly, the child actors in this are not the most annoying things.  Fred and Ben Savage were both prodigies as children, both going on to star in huge TV shows.  The most irritating thing about this film is Howie Mandel.  Beetlejuice had just come out the year prior and Mandel seems to have watched it repeatedly for inspiration, but Michael Keaton he is not.  He is way too manic with this air of forced cheerfulness.  I know the character is supposed to be a troublemaker who goes from kid's room to kid's room painting on walls, breaking things, and getting the kids blamed for it and maybe it works if you're a kid watching, but as an adult Maurice is the worst.

The best performance in the movie has to be Frank Whelan.  He only gets a limited amount of screen time as the big bad but he packs every moment with creepy menace.

If you're looking for a way to introduce your kids to monster or horror movies, this isn't a bad place to start.

The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996)

  I am shocked that I haven't posted about this movie before.  I know I've been through the M's already.  I probably skipped it, now that I think about it.  I have to be in a very specific mood to watch this film and really enjoy it.  Or be showing it to someone new.  Bethany, my ex-work wife (I got laid off but she and I are still friends), had never seen it despite being raised mostly on chick flicks.  Long time readers know that I almost never watch chick flicks but this happens to be one of, if not my absolute, favorites.

Professor Greg Larkin (Jeff Bridges) is tired of constantly falling for and getting dumped by hot women so he takes out a personal ad looking for someone a little less attractive and more grateful.  Rose (Barbra Streisand) is a Literature professor mostly resigned to living the rest of her days in the shadow of her younger sister (Mimi Rogers) and mother (Lauren Bacall).  Her sister answers Larkin's ad on Rose's behalf in a condescending attempt to be nice.  They meet and find enough common ground to begin a totally platonic relationship.  The difficulty arises when Rose violates their agreement by falling for Larkin.

This movie feels very dated in terms of gender politics but the story itself is pretty solid.  What I love is how snappy the dialogue is between Streisand, Bacall, and Rogers.  That will never get old to me.  Obviously, your enjoyment of this is going to be based on your Streisand tolerance level.  She directed, starred, and sings the final song of the film.  That's a lot of Babs and not everyone's cup of tea.  But if you're okay with her, this is a nice rainy-day movie to watch when you're feeling particularly hopeful about romance.

The Aristocats (1970)

  This is one of those classic Disney movies that everyone should see around the age of six or seven.  Any older than that and it will seem too saccharine, any younger and they probably won't remember.

Duchess (Eva Gabor) and her three kittens live in a beautiful house in Paris with Madame (Hermione Baddeley), their devoted owner.  Madame is getting on in years so she amends her will to leave everything to the cats, in the care of her butler, Edgar (Roddy Maude-Roxby).  Edgar sees a future of servitude to animals and decides it's better to just get rid of the cats, so he drugs them and dumps them in the French countryside.  They are chanced upon by Thomas O'Malley (Phil Harris), a roaming alley cat, who hooks them up with a ride back into Paris.  But they still have to face Edgar before they can be reunited.

This is calculated to offend precisely zero people (except for the super racist portrayals of the jazz cats).  The story is mild, the villain is relatively bumbling, and the songs are catchy but fairly spread out through the film.  Completely appropriate for all ages.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

  I saw this last weekend but didn't end up getting to post it.  This is definitely the best Thor movie.  I'd have to rewatch all the Marvels to see where it ranks overall, but that is a project for next summer perhaps.

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) discovers that Loki (Tom Hiddleston) has been impersonating Odin (Anthony Hopkins) after having hidden him away on Earth.  With some help from Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), they find a much diminished Odin in Norway.  He warns them that with his death, Hela (Cate Blanchett) will rise and seek to claim the throne of Asgard.  Which she does.  Being older and more powerful than both Thor and Loki combined, she immediately kicks their asses and they end up separated and fallen through the rainbow bridge onto the planet Sakaar.  Loki ingratiates himself with the Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum), while Thor is tagged by a former Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) to fight in the gladiatorial arena.  He is at first pleased to know his opponent, the undisputed champion, is the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) but soon discovers that Hulk has no desire to ever become Bruce Banner again.  Thor must convince Hulk and Valkyrie to reject their unhealthy coping mechanisms so they can escape from Sakaar and stop Hela before she destroys the universe.

This was a highly anticipated film, in no small part because it represented the first entry from New Zealand director Taika Waititi.  He encouraged the actors to improvise and said in at least one interview that 80% of the script was off-the-cuff.  I don't know how to describe it, but there is a very particular energy in improvisational films.  Anticipation, maybe?  There always seems like a split-second of hesitation between each line.  That may or may not work for you.  You may not even notice it.  For this film, it works.

There's a great camaraderie between the main actors, probably from having worked so closely with each other for so long.  Blanchett is a pro.  You could probably drop her in without a script and she'd blow you away.  Tessa Thompson was a very pleasant addition.  She is a fast rising star and I hope to see more of her in everything.

I loved this movie.  It was a candy-colored arcade-game-themed roller coaster and it rewards my faith in being a Marvel fangirl.

Treasure Planet (2002)

  I vaguely remember this coming out.  I wasn't blown away by it, but there's apparently a large underground of fan art so clearly some people liked it.

Jim Hawkins (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) comes into possession of a map that leads to the treasure of the notorious pirate, Captain Flint.  He and his loyal friend Doctor Doppler (David Hyde Pierce) hire a ship to travel to the planet.  Captain Amelia (Emma Thompson) doesn't care for the rather seamy crew and forbids mention of the treasure, relegating Jim to cabin boy and putting him in the care of the ship's cook, John Silver (Brian Murray).

This is obviously an update/reimagining of Treasure Island and it's not horrible, but it has a number of issues.  One of the things that made Long John Silver such a compelling character in the novel is his ambiguity.  He takes care of Jim, sure, but his motives are never 100% clear and by the end Jim is the stronger for having to question this authority figure.  The movie removes all gray areas, portraying Silver as a gruff, crusty figure with a heart of gold, who clearly sees Jim as a surrogate son.  It just felt like the stakes were so much lower.

Ava's Possessions (2015)

  I hope everyone had a fun and happy Halloween.  It's been a rough year for me, on balance, so I kept it simple.  Just kicked back for the evening and watched a horror movie with my sugar dumpling, Tyler.  As far as horror films go, he's not the biggest fan so I wanted to skew a little lighter, more comedic.  You have to ease them into these things.  I had read about this a couple of years ago on Ain't It Cool News' recurring feature of reviewing 31 of the best horror films each year but it hadn't made it onto my queue just yet.  (I think it was in the high 700s).

Yes, there is a spreadsheet.

Shut up.

Ava (Louisa Krause) awakens to find herself surrounded by her family and a priest (John Ventimiglia), who kindly informs her that she has just been exorcised.  Her lawyer (Dan Fogler) advises her that there are a lot of people pressing charges for her demonic escapades and that her best bet to avoid jail time is to attend Spirit Possessed Anonymous.  She is told to track down and make amends to everyone she hurt during her possession, but this sets her on the course of a deeper mystery.

This has some plot problems, especially the ending, and it's pretty low-budget for effects but it's extremely entertaining.  The parallels between possession and addiction are explored in a tongue-in-cheek way and the whole film feels like a breezy, good-time romp through your local cemetery.

No one else does that?

Moving on.

It's on Netflix and you should take a look if you like your horror movies to be more comedy than gore.

The Voices (2014)

  I know it's been a while, but we're finally back on the Christy Experiment.  This is one of two films she chose for June, her birthday month.

Jerry (Ryan Reynolds) is trying his best to fit in at the bath fixtures factory.  He sees his court-appointed psychiatrist (Jacki Weaver) at regular intervals and tries to embrace his crush on the office hottie, Fiona (Gemma Arterton).  But after (mostly) accidentally killing Fiona with a hunting knife after she stands him up for a date, Jerry realizes that the only advice he can trust is from Bosco, and Mr. Whiskers, his dog and cat.  As the body count starts to rise, however, Jerry starts to wonder if Mr. Whiskers might possibly be a psychopathic serial killer.

Normally, I am very opposed to films or shows that make light of mental illness.  There's just enough of a sympathetic glimpse into this tortured soul to make it fall on the right side of the scale.  Marjane Satrapi deftly mixes humor, surreality, and genuine pathos into this tale of a deeply disturbed man.  She is helped in this endeavor by the chameleonic presence of Ryan Reynolds, and a top-notch supporting cast including Anna Kendrick, Ella Smith, and the aforementioned Weaver and Arterton.

Antz (1998)

  Woof, this movie has not aged well.  This was back in the day when DreamWorks was still struggling a bit competing with Pixar.  A Bug's Life came out the month after this and everyone promptly forgot it existed.  I had it on VHS and finally transferred to DVD back in like 2012, so this is the first time I've watched it in years.

Z (Woody Allen) is a worker ant who dreams of something more.  A chance encounter with Princess Bala (Sharon Stone) impels him to try and change his life, first by becoming a warrior, then leading an ill-fated expedition to the fabled promised land of Insectopia.  Along his personal journey, he runs afoul of General Mandible (Gene Hackman), who believes in a rigidly stratified society and who will stop at nothing to achieve his ends.

It's a very straightforward narrative and it could have worked.  It just didn't know if it wanted to be geared towards children or adults and couldn't find that balance.  Also, the animation betrays it nowadays.  It doesn't look nearly as sleek or polished as its Pixar counter and doesn't hold a candle to the animation being churned out by DreamWorks today.  This is another one for the ash heap of history.