Learning to Skateboard in a War Zone (If You're a Girl) (2019)

  This was the winner for Best Documentary Short and I don't know that it should have been.  Sometimes I feel like we should be judging these films not only on technical merit and emotional impact but also on their weight in the world.  What themes are more prescient?  When we look back on the records of the Academy, how many times have truly ground-breaking films been ignored for status quo or feel-good pablum?

None of that is to say that Learning to Skateboard is a bad film or that no one should watch it.  It's a nice short about disadvantaged girls in Afghanistan being given a space to grow without fear.  This is an incalculable benefit for an entire generation of young people trying to navigate a repressive society.  I just don't know if it deserved to win.  Also, as someone who used to read Arabic (i.e., right-to-left), realizing that the names shown were just in a Semitic-looking font just about broke my brain.  It was like the worst Magic Eye picture ever.

It's currently streaming on Hulu but only with the Live TV option.

Marshall (2017)

  This is another one of those films that makes me think we should disband the Academy and just start over.  By any measure, this is a prestige drama with an up-and-coming leading man based on an American icon and it was nominated for *checks notes* Best Original Song.

Thurgood Marshall (Chadwick Boseman) is very busy as the only African-American lawyer for the NAACP in 1939.  He travels across the country, fighting against a biased court system, in order to uphold the constitutional rights of unfairly arrested and prosecuted black people.  He is summoned to Bridgeport, Connecticut to look into the case of Joseph Spell (Sterling K. Brown), a chauffeur accused of the rape and attempted murder of his employer's wife, Eleanor Strubing (Kate Hudson).  As he is not licensed in the state of Connecticut, Marshall reaches out to Sam Friedman (Josh Gad), a local lawyer with a background in civil court, for a recommendation to admit Marshall for the purpose of the trial.  It's only supposed to be a legal formality but Judge Foster (James Cromwell) denies Friedman's request and demands that Friedman try the case himself.  Thrown together by circumstance, Friedman and Marshall have to work together to save Spell from a death sentence.

I thought this was a very good movie and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.  (I'm still a little gun-shy about Important Dramas after Oscar season.)  The dialogue is snappy, the performances are top-notch, the costumes and production design are excellent, and it is moving without being melodramatic.  It is a travesty that it was not more recognized by the Academy.  It's currently streaming on Amazon Prime.

I Lost My Body (2019)

  This was nominated for Best Animated film and I get why.  It looks more hand-drawn than computer-animated.  It's also French and the Academy likes to highlight non-English animation.

Naoufel (Hakim Faris) loses his hand in an industrial accident.  The hand comes to life and scuttles around the streets of Paris to be reunited with its owner, reliving Naoufel's life in flashbacks as he is orphaned, made a foster child in a new country, meets a girl, lightly stalks her,  learns a new trade, confronts her with his stalking, leading to the accident and subsequent separation.

I was on board with this movie despite the stalking right up until the ending.  I didn't like the stalking angle, and I'm tired of shit like that being portrayed as romantic when it's actually really creepy, but I was willing to see where the movie went.  And it went... completely left of center.  I just couldn't get where the character's head was at in any way.  So I can't really recommend this film as anything other than pretty and kind of meditative.  It is currently streaming on Netflix.

Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020)

  This was a super fun movie and a great palate cleanser after a month of dark, depressing Oscar nominees.

Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) has broken up with the Joker and just wants to drown her sorrows.  Unfortunately, her foray into independence means she no longer has the protection of being the Joker's girl and disgruntled foes start coming out of the woodwork to hunt her down.  One of those being Roman Sionis (Ewan McGregor), a former trust fund kid ostracized by his family for his penchant of cutting people's faces off.  Roman is looking for the Bertinelli diamond, a gem said to be inscribed with the bank accounts and secrets of the Bertinelli crime family, all tragically mowed down in a bloody coup some years back.  The diamond is stolen by Cassandra Cain (Ella Jay Basco), a teenage pickpocket.  Harley makes a deal with Roman to recover the diamond, unaware that a Gotham detective (Rosie Perez) and Roman's driver/nightclub singer (Jurnee Smollett-Bell) are also looking for Cain.  Meanwhile, completely unrelated but growing ever closer, is a mysterious woman in black killing people with a crossbow (Mary Elizabeth Winstead).  These five women must put aside their differences and band together in order to save all their lives.

Yeah, the dudebros can suck a dick on this one.  Birds of Prey is funny, colorful, and not interested in the male gaze at all.  If you're butthurt about none of the characters getting naked or having to rely on a male character for fulfillment or help, you are not the target audience and kindly die in a fire.  For everyone else, this is so much better than Suicide Squad and paves the way for more Harley movies as well as the soft reboot by James Gunn coming out next year.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Original Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Production Design, Best Costume Design, Best Sound Mixing, and Best Sound Editing    I was really hoping for Joe Pesci to win Best Supporting Actor.  I don't think Brad Pitt did a bad job; I just didn't think it was as good as Pesci.  Pitt is essentially playing a laid-back version of himself here and I've seen him do better in other roles.  Plus, the entire segment with Bruce Lee (Mike Moh) was gross.

Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) has been circling the drain in Hollywood for a while.  Once on a leading man track with a successful TV show, his drinking and general high-strung behavior have seen his career falter, despite unwavering support from his stunt double/driver/handyman/best friend Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt).  Dalton has a chance for a comeback playing the villain in a new Western and is motivated by seeing his new neighbors, Roman Polanski (Rafal Zawierucha) and Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie).

This is a revisionist take on the Manson Family murders of 1969, so knowing what is going to happen doesn't really help you here.  That's really the strongest point the movie has going for it.  I've seen it described as a "hang-out movie" and if that's your bag, I'm not here to judge.  I found it a little boring.  I think certain things could have been trimmed down a little further but this is the movie Tarantino wanted to make, unwashed bare feet and all.

Oh my God, people, there are so many gross feet in this film.  For no purpose!  Other than Tarantino's well-documented fetish.  Again, not out here to kink-shame but it is most certainly not my favorite thing.  There's a lot of gratuitous violence directed at women, another Tarantino trademark, but if you're a fan of his work, chances are you've forgiven him that already and a little more won't hurt you.  It barely squeaks by with the Liked It tag because Robbie is adorable and DiCaprio really seems like he went for it.

NEFTA Football Club (2019)

Nominated for Best Live Action Short    This was the only outright comedy nominated and I'm a little sad it didn't win.  It needed a little more time, I think, to truly be a contender.

Two boys find a drug-laden donkey wandering the desert and relieve it of its product.  The older boy (Lyás Salem) wants to sell the drugs for cash but the younger (Hichem Mesbah) has a slightly different idea.

This is pretty cute but I think it could have added an extra couple of minutes just to not feel so rushed.  It's currently streaming on filmshortage.com if you're interested.

The Cave (2019)

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature Here's your obligatory "everything is still horrible in Syria" update.

This documentary centers on Doctor Amani, a hospital administrator and pediatrician in the embattled region of Ghouta.  All she wants is to be able to care for patients but constant threats of bombings and chemical weapons attacks have driven the remaining hospital staff underground to a network of connected tunnels.  They are dangerously low on supplies with no shortage of victims to treat, but these doctors and nurses fight everyday to provide life-saving medical care.

One day Bashar al-Assad will die and Hell will be a little more full.  I don't know that his death will fix anything, but it will remove him from this earth and that can only be positive.

The Cave is currently streaming on Hulu.

American Factory (2019)

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature    This actually ended up winning, which was kind of a surprise to me.  I only saw two of the category this year but I was not impressed by this.

A General Motors factory in Dayton, Ohio closed, putting hundreds of people out of work.  It was then bought by a Chinese company and refitted to make automobile glass.  Workers are initially excited for the renewed opportunity but friction soon begins between the Chinese management and American workers.

The documentary does a very good job of identifying individual voices among both nationalities of workers and presenting their lives and attempts at community.  I just kind of feel like it didn't go far enough.  There's a larger point to be made here about how the upper management exploits the workers and spends so much money trying to frighten them into giving up their rights to organize that's alluded to but not explored.  It's very much not a "Chinese vs US" problem but a "1% vs 99%" problem.  Maybe I'm just in an Eat the Rich kind of mood.

Anyway, it's on Netflix if you want to check it out.

92nd Acadamy Awards Ceremony

Well that was nuts, wasn't it?  I have to say, the ceremony was better than I expected even if some of the speeches dragged out past the point of good manners.  I thought the musical numbers were great and there was a good amount of energy.  It looked like choices were made for the ceremony regarding diversity and ensuring everyone got a seat at the table that probably should have been carried over into the voting but you can't turn back time.  Anyway, here's the winners.

Best Supporting Actor - Brad Pitt
Best Animated Feature - Toy Story 4
Best Animated Short - Hair Love
Best Original Screenplay - Parasite
Best Adapted Screenplay - Jojo Rabbit
Best Live Action Short - The Neighbor's Window
Best Production Design - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Costume Design - Little Women
Best Documentary Feature - American Factory
Best Documentary Short - Learning to Skateboard in a War Zone (if You're a Girl)
Best Supporting Actress - Laura Dern
Best Sound Editing - Ford vs Ferrari
Best Sound Mixing - 1917
Best Cinematography - 1917
Best Film Editing - Ford vs Ferrari
Best Visual Effects - 1917
Best Hair and Makeup - Bombshell
Best International Feature - Parasite
Best Original Score - Joker
Best Original Song - "I'm Gonna Love Me Again" from Rocketman
Best Director - Bong Joon Ho
Best Actor - Joaquin Phoenix
Best Actress - Renee Zellweger
Best Picture - Parasite

Hustlers (2019)

  This wasn't nominated for any Oscars but it probably should have been.

Dorothy (Constance Wu) works as a stripper to provide for her grandmother (Wai Ching Ho).  After the financial crash of 2008, she and her stripper mentor Ramona (Jennifer Lopez) decide to get revenge on the Wall Street fat cats who suffered zero repercussions for causing the crash.  They put together a small band of gorgeous women and work out a system of singling men out, drugging them, and maxing their credit cards.

This is based on a true story.  I'm not going to debate about the morality of what they did or whether or not the dudes had it coming.  (They did and worse.)  I am not going to talk about how a female-led and female-directed film was unfairly shut out at the Oscars.  (It was.)  I am going to talk about how good JLo and Constance Wu were, though.  (So good!)  And Lili Reinhart!  This is the second film from last year to have a character vomit from sheer stress.  That was not a thing I expected to become trendy.

Honestly, this was a really good film about women, friendship, and empowerment that also includes a lot of really gorgeous women stripping.

Brotherhood (2019)

Nominated for Best Live Action Short   

Mohamed (Mohamed Grayaâ) is a simple shepherd.  His loves his wife and children but when his eldest son (Malek Mechergui) returns unexpectedly from Syria with a pregnant teenaged wife in tow, Mohamed finds it difficult to accept.  He is still angry about his son's decision to fight on behalf of ISIL and does not see his return as anything but a recruitment opportunity for his other two sons.

This really takes the story of the prodigal son and flips it in a modern way.  It's only 28 minutes long but there's a lot of story packed into that half hour.  It's currently streaming on Vimeo.

The Two Popes (2019)

Nominated for Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Adapted Screenplay    Now this was a great movie about religion.  I have to admit, I thought all the nominations for Netflix were a bad sign.  That the company was just throwing money at the Academy to buy legitimacy.  And that still might be what's happening, but they are also producing some great films.

Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio (Jonathan Pryce) is tired of seeing the constant scandals plaguing the Catholic Church.  He hopes to elect Cardinal Martini (Achille Brugnini) at the Conclave after the passing of Pope John Paul II because Martini is a reformist, but the Conclave chooses Cardinal Ratzinger (Anthony Hopkins), a staunch traditionalist, instead.  Bergoglio submits his resignation and is summoned to an audience with the new Pope Benedict XVI.  He finds a terribly lonely, spiritually conflicted man carrying the mantle of 1.2 billion believers.  What follows is probably the worst job interview of all time.

Honestly, this is a film where two old dudes talk about morality for two hours.  That will not be for everyone.  It is still a great movie.  And surprisingly funny if you like Dad jokes.  Pryce is excellent at portraying the humor and humanity of Pope Francis, but if I'm honest, I never lost sight of the fact that Hopkins was Hopkins.  I kept thinking that he was going to go all Hannibal Lector and eat Pryce's face.  I don't think Pryce is going to win the category.  I'm pretty sure Joaquin Phoenix has it on lock, even though I personally disliked Joker.  I'm still hoping Joe Pesci is going to get the Best Supporting Actor.  So that leaves Best Adapted Screenplay and I think they'll give it to Little Women as a sop for not being nominated for Best Director.  But we'll find out tonight.

The Two Popes is currently streaming on Netflix.

Missing Link (2019)

Nominated for Best Animated Feature    I was really rooting for this one but after having seen four of the 5 nominees so far, I don't think it's the winner.  It hurts my heart to say it but this is not Laika's best story.

Sir Lionel Frost (Hugh Jackman) is desperate to prove the existence of a missing link between apes and man, but his single-minded quest and raging narcissism have pushed everyone in his life away.  He receives a letter promising to conclusively prove that Sasquatch is real and travels to Washington State, only to find that the Sasquatch (Zach Galifinakis) wrote the letter himself.  Mr. Link, as he is christened, is lonely and wants Lionel to help him find his long-lost cousins, the Yeti.  Lionel knows that there's a map to the possible location of the Yeti but it is in the possession of his former flame, Adalina (Zoe Saldana).

There just wasn't enough characterization, I think.  It felt really stripped down and not in a good way. Like character development was sacrificed for dumb visual gags.  After Kubo and the Two Strings, it just really feels like a letdown.  It's currently streaming on Hulu.

Parasite (2019)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, Best Foreign Film, Best Production Design, and Best Film Editing    This was the top of all the 2019 film lists.  Every critic raved about it.  Family members, even ones that don't watch subtitled films, told me to see it.

And I think it's only okay.

KIM Ki-Woo (CHOI Woo-Sik) is offered a position as a tutor for rich high schooler PARK Da-hye (JUNG Ji-so) by his buddy who is leaving to study abroad.  Ki-woo quickly realizes that the Park family is ripe for the picking and it is not long before his family has supplanted all of the Park's help.  But when the former housekeeper (LEE Jung Eun) returns one dark and stormy night, the Kims discover a dark secret in the house.

This reminded me a lot of Shoplifters from last year.  Same kind of thing where a family grifts to survive but they're adorable and shockingly photogenic but it all ends in tragedy and tears.  The mid-film twist is pretty good, as in I was unprepared for what I was seeing, but the rest of the film falls fairly predictably after that.  I feel bad because this was so overhyped and there was no way it could have lived up to it.  It is still a very good movie and you should definitely see it as soon as it makes its way to a streaming service near you.

Klaus (2019)

Nominated for Best Animated Feature    Holy shit.  This was amazing.  I really thought the Academy was just blowing smoke up Netflix's ass but this movie was legitimately stunning.

Jesper (Jason Schwartzman) had a plan.  All he had to do was fail out of being a postman, a position secured for him by his father (Additional Adult Voices), and he could go back to his cushy life of lazing around, drinking espresso, and sleeping in on silk sheets.  Unfortunately, his father anticipated Jesper's resistance and issued an ultimatum:  somehow make the worst post office in the country functional or be cut off.  Jesper is unceremoniously ferried off to Smeerensburg, an island dominated by a continuous feud between the Krums and the Ellingboes.  Things are looking grim until an unexpected act of kindness introduces Jesper to Klaus (J.K. Simmons), a reclusive toymaker.

The animation in this is so beautiful, like panes of stained glass layered over watercolors.  The story is super cute and presents the legends of Santa Claus in a whole new way.  This is an instant classic and the only thing I'm mad about is that it didn't also get nominated for Best Original Song.  It definitely deserved it over Breakthrough.

The Lion King (2019)

Nominated for Best Visual Effects    There is no reason for this movie to exist.  Full stop.  If Donald Glover and Beyoncé had released a cover album on the 1994 film's anniversary this year with selected dialogue, it would have been just as good.

Simba (JD McCrary) is born to privilege as the only son of King Mufasa (James Earl Jones), much to the ire of Mufasa's brother and former heir, Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor).  Scar manipulates Simba into feeling responsible for Mufasa's murder and chases him out of the Pride Lands.  Alone and forlorn, the lion cub meets a friendly warthog (Seth Rogen) and meerkat (Billy Eichner) who basically raise him to be a self-centered slacker.  Meanwhile, the lioness Nala (Beyoncé) has had it with Scar's mismanagement and leaves to find the now-adult Simba (Donald Glover) to convince him to return and regain his rightful place.

Sure, the photorealistic CGI is impressive.  It also completely removes any expression from the animals' faces and renders them totally interchangeable.  Turns out it's really difficult to distinguish one lioness from another if they aren't cartoons.  The music is fine, but again, unnecessary in conjunction with the movie.  It is currently streaming on Disney+.  But so is the better animated film. Make good choices.

In the Absence (2019)

Nominated for Best Documentary Short    It's getting a little easier to find the short films.  It used to be virtually impossible unless you lived somewhere they were released theatrically.  This one is on Vimeo for free and is also on the Field of Vision website.

In 2014, a ferry capsized between the South Korean mainland and the island of Jeju.  A distress call was put out at around 8:30 AM local time.  The ferry had turned on its side but no passengers were harmed and with a little luck most of them could make it to safety.  Except that's not what happened.  The government refused to send rescue boats until they could get a film crew for bureaucratic oversight.  The lone Coast Guard boat that responded was told to stand down and wait.  Only civilian fishing boats managed to rescue anyone at all.  Then the ferry flipped upside down, trapping 291 people, mostly kids on a school trip, inside.

It's a good thing this documentary is only 28 minutes long because it is a hard watch.  All I could think was if I had been on that ferry and died, my mom would have burned down every government building she could find.  The level of negligence shown by everyone in charge is stunning.  I had never heard anything about this, not even about the impeachment and removal of their president in 2016.  So I definitely think people should watch this as a cautionary tale.

Bombshell (2019)

Nominated for Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Makeup and Hair    The year is 2016 and longtime anchor Gretchen Carlson (Nicole Kidman) of Fox is fed up with the constant low-grade dismissiveness and outright sexual harassment from her co-workers that goes unchecked.  She meets with lawyers to begin bringing a case of sexual harassment against Roger Ailes (John Lithgow), the network head, for the culture of misogyny he allowed to spread unchecked.  Anchor Megyn Kelly (Charlize Theron) is also feeling the sting of being left out to dry by her network after her spirited attack on presidential candidate Donald Trump over his many, many derogatory statements about women goes viral.  Meanwhile, Kayla (Margot Robbie), a former intern of Carlson's, sees her future in the network glowing bright until she is invited into Ailes' office.

My mom asked me if this movie made Megyn Kelly seem sympathetic.  I have to say no.  I don't think there's anything that would make me like Megyn Kelly as a person, but no matter what someone's politics are, nobody deserves to be sexually harassed at work.  If anyone comes out of this thing smelling of roses, it's Gretchen Carlson who seems like a powderpuff right up until she goes for the jugular.  I've never watched her show and everything that Fox has touched is tainted by association, but she's the only one I thought was worth celebrating.  And of course it's the one performance not nominated for an Oscar.

Theron does an incredible job as Kelly.  The makeup and hair help, but even her voice patterns and expressions are dead on.  Robbie is a great actress but she's not given a whole lot to do here and her character was a little too one-dimensional for me.  It would be interesting to contrast this against The Loudest Voice, a miniseries also on the same topic. 

Joker (2019)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Costume Design, Best Makeup and Hair, Best Original Score, Best Film Editing, Best Sound Editing, and Best Sound Mixing    So this is the top nominee with eleven chances to take home an Oscar.  We'll see.

Arthur (Joaquin Phoenix) is just trying to get by in the cold, unfeeling streets of Gotham City.  He loves his job as a clown but makes barely enough to support himself and his mother (Frances Conroy), a one-time employee of Thomas Wayne (Brett Cullen), while dreaming of becoming a stand-up comic like his idol, late night host Murray Franklin (Robert DeNiro).  After a subway altercation turns violent, Arthur discovers a new outlet for his frustration that mirrors a city on the tipping point to anarchy.

I just...  What is the point?  This isn't a great origin story.  It's trying so hard to be Taxi Driver meets The Dark Knight that it loses any sense of its own identity.  Phoenix is working overtime to move out of the shadows cast by Heath Ledger and Jack Nicholson but if there's one distinct difference, it's that he's... not funny.  And that's what really sucks about calling this a Joker movie.  He's not the Joker.  He's just some sad clown.  Cesar Romero leaned into the camp.  Jack Nicholson embraced the narcissistic chaos.  Heath Ledger was a broken bottle top giggle.  Even Jared Leto was unintentionally funny.

There is no humor in Joker at all.  And there are places where it could be!  Arthur reading his mom's letter and confronting Thomas Wayne could have been a hilarious comedy of errors.  Instead, it's just mean-spirited and ultimately pointless.  Having a mental illness is not funny.  There are people who are funny with mental illnesses.  Every stand-up comedian has depression or anxiety or worse.  But just having schizophrenia isn't a punch-line.

I read some think piece about how the point was that Arthur wanted to be just like his idol but became disillusioned after seeing how Murray punched down at less fortunate individuals from his ivory tower.  Maybe.  There's really only one instance of that and that's when he invites Arthur on his show.  Otherwise, Murray is just an old man in the same comfortable groove he's been in most of his career.

Overall, I found this movie disappointing in a way I can't really describe.  It was like a mash-up of other, better films microwaved into blandness with violence standing in for intelligence.  Really, the only funny thing I've even heard about this movie is that the song playing for the stairs dance ("Rock and Roll part 2" by Gary Glitter, a convicted pedophile) is specifically written into the script.  That's some cringe right there.