Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

  I hate this fucking pandemic.  I also hate greedy-ass companies that put profits ahead of people's lives.  I don't want this movie to tank.  There is a lot riding on this in terms of representation for Asian-Americans.  Plus, it's just a very good movie.  But it's exclusively in theaters and that is just the Worst.  I have invested a considerable amount of time into the Marvel Cinematic Universe and I even paid the (ridiculous) $30 fee to see Black Widow at home.  I would have liked to have had the option to do the same with Shang-Chi.  Instead, I had my first cinema visit since Birds of Prey.  (More on that actual experience later.)

Shaun (Simu Liu) and his best friend, Katy (Awkwafina), work as valets for a pricey San Francisco restaurant.  It's low-stakes and that's the way they like it.   Until five assassins, including a dude with a machete for an arm (Florian Munteanu), show up on their morning bus ride and Shaun has to whip all their asses.  The assassins are after a pendant Shaun received from his mother (Fala Chen) before she died.  His sister (Meng'er Zheng) has the twin and Shaun realizes that her life is in danger.  He has to give up his safe, comfortable life as Shaun and become Shang-Chi, son of Xu Wenwu (Tony Leung), an immortal warlord and actual leader of the Ten Rings terrorist organization, not that weirdo British guy (Ben Kingsley).  

It's so good, you guys.  For starters, it might be the most beautifully shot MCU film ever.  That scene with Fala Chen and Tony Leung in the magical forest?  Ugh.  Gorgeous.  William Pope was not a cinematographer I was familiar with and that's my fault.  It's funny.  Like, all MCU films are funny, but Shang-Chi is hilarious.  Meng'er Zheng!  This was her first film and she learned a shitload of martial arts for it!  Trevor and Morris!  A fully platonic relationship given center stage and not shoe-horned into romance!  So many good things!  Tony Leung and Michelle Yeoh!  Legends!

Okay, so before we went into the theater, my sister-in-law turned to me and said "I haven't seen a Marvel movie since Winter Soldier.  What do I need to know?" and after I finished silently screaming into my mask, I told her to save all her questions until the end and I would do my best to sum up 22 movies.  If you are like my SIL, congratulations, you're a monster.  (Just kidding, love you.)  The good news is that you really only need to catch up on Iron Man 3 and Doctor Strange.  You can watch Incredible Hulk if you want for the Abomination cameo, but you really don't need it.

As for the theater experience itself...  What a fucking nightmare.  People talked through the entire goddamn movie.  From the previews until some other irate lady screamed at them to be quiet about 2/3 of the way through.  I absolutely shushed the people next to me, but I did it quietly.  I know we're in recliners but this is not your fucking living room.  Honestly, my last few theater experiences (that I can remember) have not been ideal.  And if streaming releases continue to shorten theater exclusivity and even premiere into my TV, where I have subtitles and a pause button and all the snacks I want, I may never go back.  There's no upside to the theater for me now.  People can talk about community but one of the big things about community is a shared adherence to rules.  Like don't talk.  Don't bring your crying baby/young children into a rated R movie.  Don't leave your trash on the floor.  Don't --and I can't believe this even has to be said except I witnessed it with my own eyes-- take a goddamn selfie in the middle of the film.  In fact, don't take your cell phone out at all while the lights are down.  Critics and directors can bitch all they want to about how streaming is destroying movies and films aren't designed to be watched on a small screen, but as long as the experience of going to a theater sucks more than watching it in 4K on a 60-in flatscreen with a cat on my lap and perfectly popped popcorn, I know which choice I'm going to make.  

Please see Shang-Chi.  If you don't feel comfortable going to a theater, that is a completely valid choice.  But don't miss out when it inevitably comes to Disney+.  And of course, there's a mid-credits and a post-credits scene.