Seventeen-year-old Marie Antoinette (Kirsten Dunst) is delivered to France to marry Louis Auguste (Jason Schwartzman). She dislikes the constant intrigues and gossip of court and lives in terror that she will be the undoing of the treaty between France and Austria because her marriage remains unconsummated. To assuage her inner turmoil, she indulges every pleasure she can find from food, wine, and fun companions to shopping and gambling. Bearing a child, even if it's a girl, brings Antoinette a measure of security. Bearing an heir even more so. But debts are mounting, people are starving, and revolution is on the horizon.
I cannot describe to you how bored I was during the entire two hour and three minutes runtime. The costumes are magnificent, the music is good, and it was filmed on location at Versailles. None of that matters because the script is dull as wallpaper paste. There's not a single line worth repeating from the whole thing. I've just finished watching it and I have already forgotten large parts. By tomorrow, nothing but this blog post will remain to prove I watched it.
It's currently streaming on Hulu. Don't do it.
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