Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)

  Our journey continues through the middle of this franchise.

Bill (Alex Winters) and Ted (Keanu Reeves) are gearing up for the San Dimas Battle of the Bands, a turning point in their future that will usher in a new age of prosperity and peace.  In the far future, however, Chuck de Nomolos (Joss Ackland) has implemented a plan to go back and time, kill Bill and Ted, and replace them with evil robot versions.  The souls of Bill and Ted manage to escape Death (William Sadler) but are stymied as how to save their band or their girlfriends from beyond the grave.  They travel through Hell, Heaven, and Death's realm in search of guidance.

I remember this being borderline unwatchable but it's not that bad.  It's not great by any stretch but it's not terrible.  It's overlong and not nearly as funny as it thinks it is, but Sadler alone is worth it.  He is a highly underrated character actor.  The special effects now qualify as kitschy and I have no idea what they were going for with the weird troll-like aliens, but at least the soundtrack is good.  Also, bonus cameos by blues legend Taj Mahal and writer Ed Solomon, as well as performance work by Michael "Boogaloo Shrimp" Chambers and Tony Cox.

Totally understand if you skip this one.  It's currently streaming on Kanopy and for free on Tubi.

On the Rocks (2020)

 Well, it's better than Lost in Translation, but that's about all I can say in its favor.

Laura (Rashida Jones) begins to suspect that her husband (Marlon Wayans) is having an affair so she reaches out to her father (Bill Murray), a known cheater, to help her investigate.

It's a bit like asking a thief if someone is stealing.

There's nothing specifically wrong with the movie; it just seems like a bunch of rich people with no real problems inventing things so they don't get bored.  It's Sofia Coppola, so I suppose that tracks.  Nobody in the film is particularly sympathetic.  Laura is the architect of her own problems because she's afraid to talk to her husband so she's already decided that he's cheating and is looking to corroborate, not absolve.  Her father is incapable of admitting that he's pathologically lonely and is willing to enact scheme after scheme to keep Laura hanging out with him.  And her husband isn't innocent, either.  He is blithely ignoring every glaring issue because he doesn't want to see them.  So nobody is right and everybody has their feelings hurt and who wants to see that in a movie?  

If for some reason you do, it's streaming on AppleTV.  Jessica Henwick and Jenny Slade have minor parts, and TV legend Barbara Bain has a small cameo.  It's not enough of a reason to watch this, though, as all of those women have better roles elsewhere.

Drive (2011)

I've softened my stance on this movie slightly.  I no longer actively hate it.  Yes, it is still slow and yes, I still think Gosling is miscast (he and Oscar Isaac should have swapped) but it's fine.  

Here's the thing, though.  I don't think my opinion changed because of the movie itself.  It was because I saw the utter nonsense men went through to praise it.  For a little while, a subset of men online lost their minds over this movie and that is extremely funny to me if you actually watch it.  It speaks to a very specific male fantasy of being Cool and being Loved but not having any actual responsibility or doing anything to make that happen.  The Driver (still stupid) is good at one specific thing, for which he receives very little recognition and almost no compensation.  His mentor/the only other man he knows (Bryan Cranston) is weak, literally disabled, and cringes constantly in the face of power while The Driver remains cool and detached.  But Cranston's character is the one managing The Driver's entire life.  He's the one who books the jobs, gets the cars, and does all the boring, administrative stuff that keeps the lights on so Driver can just show up and take the keys.  

Carey Mulligan's character is a damsel in distress so he gets to be her rescuer but doesn't have to do any of the day-to-day relationship work (i.e., what makes a relationship work) because she's married to a different, weak man.  He can babysit her cute little kid without ever having to actually be a parent.  And in the Ultimate Grand Gesture, he takes on the entire mob (okay, one guy with a knife collection from Temu) in order to free her from her husband's shitty decisions.  It's the façade of independence.  Like how every housecat secretly believes it's a tiger.

And none of that is the movie's fault.  It's just underwritten, probably to make more room for car chases.  If you are into style over substance, though, this is probably a decent enough watch.  It's currently streaming on PlutoTV with ads.  Originally posted 06 Feb 2012.  Nominated for Best Sound Editing   I do not understand how a movie this violent can be this boring.  The violence is very thorough but I just didn't believe Ryan Gosling as a badass.  His voice is too soft.  Romantic lead?  Sure, no problem.  Quiet political thriller?  Ok, I'll buy that.  Ruthless getaway driver?  Not so much.

He doesn't even have a name.  He's just listed as Driver.  People!  It is only cool when Clint Eastwood does it!  Anyway, 'Driver' is a part-time stunt man, a mechanic and moonlights as a getaway driver for petty larceny.  He's like The Transporter but with less personality.  His pretty young neighbor, Irene (Carey Mulligan), has car trouble so he strikes up a friendship with her.  Her husband, Standard (Oscar Isaac), gets out of jail and plans to go straight.  Unfortunately, he owes some people protection money and they want him to rob a pawn shop.  Of course, Driver steps in to be his...driver.  The heist goes horribly wrong and Standard gets killed.  Driver goes after the people behind the heist in order to protect Irene and her son.

This movie had a ton of talent in it from Albert Brooks, playing way against type, to Christina Hendricks, who's in it for a hot minute.  She is a very pretty woman and they do not show her to advantage.  Honestly, I thought everyone in the movie did a great job except Ryan Gosling.  He's just not hardened enough for me.  I thought the soundtrack was like an 80's remix and didn't really suit the movie at all.  As far as sound editing, I don't know enough about the technical aspects to really judge.

Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2026)

  I could tell in the first fifteen minutes that I was not going to be the target audience for this movie but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying it.

Jay (Jay McCarol) and Matt (Matt Johnson) have been trying for years to book a show at The Rivoli, a nightclub in Toronto, but after Matt's latest stunt --parachuting from the top of the CN Tower-- nearly gets them both killed, Jay has had enough.  He secretly books an open mike night as a solo artist in Ottawa, planning to sneak out while Matt is asleep.  Meanwhile, Matt is blithely continuing with his latest plan to turn their RV into a fake time machine and falls asleep inside, waking up when Jay is driving them to Ottawa.  In the confusion, they discover it is actually a real time machine and accidentally travel back to when they were first starting out in 2008.  

It's an odd mixture of guerrilla filmmaking and scripted plots.  You don't need to have seen either the previous web series or the TV show to follow it, although I'm sure it's a richer experience if you have.  Maybe they explain why some of the cursing is censored, and some isn't.  I found the characters irritating so it was never going to work for me.  Matt, in particular, reminded me of the guy from Creep.  It's not the style of humor I like and one of my biggest pet peeves is when a mediocre movie's plot hinges on showing a better film.  In this case, that's Back to the Future.  But if this is something that you like, it's currently streaming on Hulu.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2008)

  This took ages to find.  I tried a couple of different times to watch it but the subtitles were messed up so I had to wait until it cycled back onto HBO Max.  Not 100% sure it was worth the trouble.

Makoto (Riisa Naka) was a normal high school girl until an accident gave her the power to jump through time.  At first, this seems like an easy way to fix all the minor inconveniences in her life.  Fail a test?  Do it again.  Accidentally set something on fire?  No, you didn't.  Best guy friend asks you out and you don't know how to respond?  Go back and avoid that whole conversation.  But when the changes begin to have consequences for the people around her, she begins to truly understand the cost of knowledge.

It's fine.  It's a very slight film that doesn't have anything profound to say, but it was entertaining enough for a Sunday.  Everything stays very localized around Makoto which makes it more digestible.  It's kind of funny that I managed to watch two films about high schoolers traveling through time this weekend.  I feel like Masoka would have gotten on with Bill and Ted like a house on fire.  They're all equally stupid.  It's currently streaming on HBO Max.

Big Night (1996)

  I swear, I remember seeing trailers for this movie from the 90s but it had Andy Garcia instead of Stanley Tucci.  Weird.

Two brothers run an Italian restaurant in 1950s New Jersey.  Secondo (Stanley Tucci) is desperate to get more people in to keep the restaurant from failing but his brother and chef, Primo (Tony Shaloub), refuses to compromise by making Americanized Italian food.  Across the street, Pascal (Ian Holm) has no such compunctions and his place is packed every night.  He offers to help boost the brothers by inviting jazz musician Louis Prima to eat at their restaurant, so they go all out to prepare an evening no one will forget.

One of my pet peeves is a movie not translating non-English dialogue.  You probably don't need it to get the gist of what's happening, but it would be nice.  If you do speak Italian, this might be a fun service you can provide to your friends.  

Tucci and Shaloub are great, as always.  It's good to see Isabella Rosselini, Allison Janney, and Minnie Driver in things, and if you like Latin music, it is very odd to see singer Marc Anthony playing a waiter.  It's a solid character drama that feels very 90s, but the real star here is the food.  Holy crap, you will be so hungry after watching this.  And/Or feel a real need to hop on Expedia and start looking for vacations in Tuscany.  It's currently streaming on Paramount+.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

This continues to be a surprisingly smart "stupid" movie.  This time I noticed that they made Napoleon seem like a total dick, but so did Ridley Scott, so...  Originally posted 01 Feb 2012.    I hadn't seen this movie in ages.  Probably not since middle school. 

Bill (Alex Winters) and Ted (Keanu Reeves) are high schoolers convinced that their band, Wyld Stallyons, will be the Next Great Thing.  As soon as they can get Van Halen on guitar.  Oh, and possibly learn how to play themselves.  But things do not look rosy as they are about to fail their history final and if they do, Ted's father (Hal Landon, Jr.) is sending him to a military school in Alaska.  Not to worry, though, because the boys are getting a little help from the future in the form of Rufus (George Carlin) and his time-traveling phone booth.  See, if Wyld Stallyons gets broken up, the future he comes from will not exist.  So the guys zip across space-time, kidnapping historical figures like Socrates (Tony Steedman), Billy the Kid (Dan Shor), Napoleon (Terry Camilliari), and Joan of Arc (Jane Wiedlin).  But will time run out before they can give their report?

I never noticed when I watched it as a kid that all the "historical" figures were restricted by language.  Socrates only speaks Greek, Napoleon only speaks French, Freud speaks English and German and so forth.  It's a small detail but a cute one and bravo to the film-makers for including it.  Granted, this movie is just a harmless piece of 80's frippery and you should definitely not expect mind-blowing things from it but it is still fun to watch.  There were a couple of lines that startled a laugh out of me but I'll admit that I'm not the target audience, nor have I ever been.  This was purely nostalgic for me.

Obsession (2026)

  Content warning:  dead animal (cat), suicide, blood, self-harm, vomit

Bear (Michael Johnston) has a crush on his co-worker, Nikki (Inde Navarrette).  Rather than confess his feelings to her, he buys a novelty item from a spiritualist shop called a One-Wish Willow.  Breaking the wand grants the user one wish and Bear wishes that Nikki would love him.  So she does.  But as her behavior grows more and more unhinged, Bear begins to wish that he'd read the fine print on the box.

This movie was hilarious.  Five stars.  All credit to Inde Navarrette, who really can't be praised enough.  Her performance makes this movie.  I hope she gets so much work.  Also, shout out to Curry Barker who wrote and directed the film.  For a sophomore feature, this is incredibly polished.   

This would be such a good double-feature with Weapons.  I know Companion seems obvious, but you're wrong.  Tech versus magic.  Completely different vibes.  Watch it with Weapons.  It has been a while since I have been this excited after seeing a horror movie and I am thrilled.  It's streaming on Peacock but I am probably going to buy a copy so I can make people watch it.

Burning (2018)

  This is just The Vanishing for people on their phones.

Jong-su (Yoo Ah-in) runs into his childhood neighbor, Hae-mi (Jeon Jong-seo), while running odd jobs.  She asks him to feed her cat while she is gone for several weeks in Africa.  When she comes back, she's with Ben (Steven Yuen), who is hotter, richer, and cooler than Jong-su.  But Jong-su soon becomes suspicious that Ben is hiding a dark secret, especially when Hae-mi disappears.

This movie is almost two and a half hours long, and it could have cut a solid 40 minutes off and lost nothing.  Some critics called it "slow-burn," I call it boring.  I think I would have been more okay with it not being an actual mystery --because it's not-- if the main character had any charisma whatsoever.  He just stumbles around with his mouth hanging open.  Yuen runs circles around him without even trying.  

As a sleep aid, it's fine.  It's a soft palette of blues and grays, the music isn't overbearing, and there are no sudden loud noises.  It's streaming on the Roku Channel so there are ad breaks but they weren't super disruptive because there wasn't any action or tension to disrupt.  

Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

  Content warning:  gun violence, descriptions of domestic abuse

A bank robbery turns into a stand-off with the police on a sweltering summer day in Brooklyn, New York.

I have complicated feelings about this movie and some time on my hands.    

Let's begin with the basics.  This is a great Al Pacino performance.  Sonny is clearly and distinctly the main character, both sympathetic and repulsive, a man obviously suffering from untreated mental health issues and Pacino plays him with great dexterity.  The supporting cast is also great.  Charles Durning is probably not the guy you think of when you imagine someone going toe-to-toe with Pacino at the height of his powers, but he deserves the flowers here.  Penelope Allen, Sully Boyar, and Susan Peretz all turn in great character bits here.  You might recognize Carol Kane, Chris Sarandon, and Lance Henrikson popping in as well.  Also, if you've seen Spike Lee's Inside Man, you'll recognize Marcia Jean Kurtz, by the hair if nothing else.  (It took me nearly half the running time to place her and then I was filled with admiration for Mr. Lee for his homage.)

So, good performances.  Direction is also good.  Tension gets maintained throughout; even when it dips into tedium, it feels intentional, in order to ramp up the drama and fray the nerves.  Sidney Lumet was known for taut psychological films that didn't quite cross the line into thrillers.  He's a little dry for me, personally, but I can't deny the skill.

The nice thing about Lumet is that he definitely believes that subtext is for cowards.  The film is explicitly queer but not in a Very Special Episode kind of way.  It's a story about gay people that's not a Gay Story (tm), yeah?  Sonny is a conflicted man trying to reconcile his feelings with, again, untreated mental illness.  (I have a minor quibble over the way we're told about his violent outbursts but never shown any, but that feeds into my larger issue with the film.  More to follow.)  There's no pearl-clutching or Gay Panic.  Leon's gender dysphoria is actually handled pretty well, considering the time it was made.  I'm just saying.  It could have been way worse but Lumet chooses to treat Sonny as just another New Yorker.

The problem is Sal, the other bank robber played by John Cazale.  He's not really a character; he's a placeholder to fill plot holes.  Hear me out.  We know Sonny's motivation, as ill-conceived as it is.  We see his stressors.  He's the one that interacts with the hostages, the cops, the public.  We get nothing about Sal. He has no backstory, no character development, no reveal.  He doesn't seem to be motivated by the money (he seems a little too into the apparent suicide pact Sonny agreed to before the heist), he doesn't state any relationship to Sonny like brother (*cough*Fredo*cough) or cousin so there's no familial obligation.  He's not gay, so he's not there to help Leon.  Sonny mentions that they're both veterans but not if they served together.  But if you take his character out, Sonny is caught in about two minutes.  It's a two-man job, but the story only cares about one of them.  I don't love that.

Notwithstanding my critique, this is an excellent 70s nihilistic drama.  And it's streaming for free on YouTube.