Monday, July 3, 2023

Assassin's Creed (2016)

  Christy gave me the digital copy of her DVD when she bought this and I've finally got around to watching it.  It was not worth the wait.

Callum Lynch (Michael Fassbinder) is executed by lethal injection for murder.  That would seem to be the end of the story but Cal wakes up in a secret facility in Spain, run by the Abstergo Foundation.  Dr. Sophia Fikkin (Marion Cotillard) is nominally in charge as she has created the Animus, a machine that maps subjects' DNA and uses it to regress to their ancestors.  In reality, her father (Jeremy Irons) is a high-level member of the Templars and his goal is to find the lost Apple of Eden, supposedly the cure for violence.  As Cal spends more time in the flesh and mind of his distant assassin progenitor, Aguilar, he begins to realize that the Templars are looking to do much more than philanthropy.  

I only played Assassin's Creed: Odyssey so I have no idea if this is close to the original game story, but it was pretty awful.  The editing was choppy, especially during the fight scenes, which usually means it's covering shitty choreography, the plot made no sense, and the actors were completely wasted on this script.  Everyone involved has done better work so I hope they got paid an assload of money.

Reader, I deleted my copy.  Once was enough.

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