Monday, December 16, 2024

The War of the Rohirrim (2024)

  Wish I could say this was good.  Content warning:  dead animals, some blood, war violence

Héra (Gaia Wise) is the only daughter of Helm Hammerhand (Brian Cox), King of Rohan, and has grown up fighting and riding alongside her two brothers.  Helm wants to marry her to a prince of Gondor, to solidify alliance with that kingdom, but one of his nobles, Freca (Shaun Dooley), wants Héra to marry his son, Wulf (Luca Pasqualino), and challenges Helm in front of the entire court.  Helm kills Freca and banishes Wulf, who swears to tear Rohan apart until he gets Héra.

This was a lot of bloodshed over a dude not being able to hear the word No from a woman.  Also, a lot of patriarchal bullshit about how her only role is to bear heirs.  Very lame.

The character animation is beautiful.  The background animation is beautiful.  I just wish there had been any effort made to bring the two together.  There were scenes where characters didn't touch the ground while riding or moving and it was very jarring to the eyes.  And this movie cost a gazillion dollars!  It should not look like a shoestring budget, broke-as-shit Miyazaki knock-off.  

It goes on way too long, tries too hard to hammer in its Lord of the Rings setting, and tries to overcomplicate an extremely simple plot.  I love that someone tried to make an original story using the established universe.  I hate that it was this Gucci-with-a-Y ass movie.

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