Miami cops Sonny Crockett (Colin Farrell) and Ricardo Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) go undercover as drug runners to try and bring down Yero (John Ortiz), only to learn that he's actually just a middleman for a much more dangerous cartel leader named Montoya (Luis Tosar).
Haha, that synopsis makes this movie sound like it's not a chaotic mess with more loose threads than a moth-eaten poncho. There are so many sub-plots that go nowhere, which is insane since this movie is somehow almost two and a half hours long. Oh, but we have time for both male leads to have separate shower sex scenes. (Not with each other. That might have accidentally improved it.)
This is directed by Michael Mann and features an incredibly stacked cast that could do NOTHING to save it. The Jaws of Life couldn't save it. Not E.T.'s magic finger, not a fairy godmother's wand, not the golden ichor of the gods could have saved this movie. And you know the worst part? It's not even entertainingly bad. It's a generic, poorly-written, half-assed police procedural that you could have slapped any title on and been exactly the same movie. The show Miami Vice takes a lot of crap for being dated and cheesy but it is legitimately iconic. The movie? Instantly forgettable.
It's streaming on Amazon Prime.
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