Three Amigos (1986)

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!  Here's an unrelated movie!  This was a Movie Club pick.  I had seen this movie years ago and dismissed it as not funny, but I thought maybe if I revisit it as an adult...  It's still not funny.

In 1916, a small village in Mexico is being terrorized by a gangster named El Guapo (Alfonso Arau).  One of the villagers, Carmen (Patrice Martinez), sees a silent film starring the Three Amigos, Lucky Day (Steve Martin), Dusty Bottoms (Chevy Chase), and Ned Nederlander (Martin Short).  She writes to them, believing that they are actual heroes, and asks them to come to her village and stop El Guapo.  The three actors, having recently been fired by their studio, agree, believing it's a performance with a local star.  Hijinks Ensue.

This was desperate to be the Blazing Saddles of the 80s and reader, it is not.  It is a loosely connected series of half-baked SNL ideas that barely get off the ground.  There are elements of parody, sure, but they are so broad you'd be hard-pressed to name a single reference.  And because it's so generic, it just looks like its aping its betters.  

Steve Martin and Martin Short are game for anything but Chevy Chase looks bored as hell.  I don't think he had a single line worth mentioning, just a lot of smarmy smiles and wiggled eyebrows.  The 80s really tried to push Chase as some kind of sex symbol, and sure, if the symbol is a STOP sign.  I get how this could be a nostalgia pick for people but it was not for me.  The humor was too broad, the performances too manic, and the plot too basic for me to enjoy.  It's currently streaming on HBO Max if you want to give it try.

Roxanne (1987)

  The bar is so low, people.  

C.D. Bales (Steve Martin) is a hyper-competent fire chief of a sleepy Colorado town.  He falls immediately for Roxanne (Daryl Hannah), an astronomer in town to prove her theory about a new comet, but he is self-conscious of his enormous nose.  When he finds out Roxanne likes Chris (Rick Rossovich), a good-looking idiot who can't talk to women, he steps in to woo her on Chris' behalf.  

This is Steve Martin's version of Cyrano de Bergerac, based on the play.  In some ways, it is an improvement in that it gives Roxanne a brain and a personality and changes the ending from tragedy to comedy.  I didn't find it funny but other people have.  The problems I have with this and the source material is that the plot still revolves around exploiting Roxanne's feelings and gaslighting her.  This isn't "being a wingman."  He props up a man bound to fail far longer than the initial encounter as a show of ego.

The problem I have specifically with this version is that the makeup doesn't do enough to make Steve Martin look unfuckable.  Sure, they added a prosthetic to his nose but it's honestly not that bad.  It's supposed to be a deformity.  This is the same issue I have with people trying to make the Phantom of the Opera hot.  Let bad people be ugly if that is what is driving their character!

Oh, did you not think that Cyrano is the villain?  You are wrong.  He totally is.  He just also ruins his own life as well as others'.  That's my 19th Century hot take.

Anyway, it's better than Three Amigos.  Currently only available to rent or buy, but free with a VPN.