Escape Plan (2013)

Rob and I went to see this on Saturday.  I wasn't in the mood to see anything heavy like 12 Years a Slave or Gravity.  I figured this would be a mostly fun, fluffy movie and I was right.

Ray Breslin (Sylvester Stallone) makes his living breaking out of prisons.  He literally wrote the book on security.  So when a woman from the CIA (Caitriona Balfe) hires him to break out of a blackbag prison, he doesn't think anything of it.  His business partner (Vincent D'Onofrio) loves the idea since it's worth $5 million, but his other two team members (Amy Ryan and 50 Cent, yes, really) are not convinced.  Something doesn't smell right to them.  Sure enough, Ray is abducted and thrown into lockup.  He meets the warden (Jim Caviezel) but it's not the warden he was briefed to expect.  This one has no intention of letting Ray go.  Ray has no choice but to break out of the most secure prison ever designed.  Fortunately, he immediately makes a friend inside:  Emil Rottmayer (Arnold Schwarzenegger), henchman to a financial terrorist named Muller.

Like I said, it's a fun movie.  It's not Lockout levels of fun but it's entertaining. 

A Prophet (2009)

  This was like a how-to for taking over a prison underworld.  Not that any of you fine, upstanding people would ever need to know how to do that, but just in case.

Young Malik (Tahar Rahim) is sent to prison in France for six years.  He falls in with the Corsican mob, run by Luciani (Niels Arestrup), after they need him to do a favor for them and murder a witness (Hichem Yacoubi).  As an Arab, Malik is treated like shit by the Corsicans and ostracized by the other Arabs for associating with them.  But, when the majority of the Corsicans are transferred for political reasons, Luciani comes to rely more and more on his little helper.  Malik is a fast learner and soon sets up his own drug-running operation with his friend, Jordi (Reda Kateb).  He figures out very quickly that the only side you should take in prison is your own.

This was way more engrossing than I thought it was going to be.  One of my favorite things about foreign cinema is the random surrealist touches.  Here, the man Malik kills haunts him when he is alone, bearing the scars of his death and sometimes partially on fire.  No explanation is given for this whatsoever.  The title refers to prescient dreams Malik has a couple of times.  Again, that's just the way things are. 

I'd have to think about buying this one, even though it's not really my style of movie.  If somebody gave it to me, I'd keep it but I don't think I'd rush out and buy it tomorrow.  It's good, but it's not the kind of movie you can watch repeatedly.  It was nominated for Best Foreign Film but lost to The Secret in Their Eyes, which is the only one I have left to see in this category.

Return of the Musketeers (1989)

  Based on Dumas' story Twenty Years After, Return of the Musketeers finds D'Artagnon (Michael York) still only a lieutenant, and an impoverished one at that.  He is hired by Queen Anne's (Geraldine Chaplin) new lover, the Cardinal Mazarin (Philippe Noiret) to go find his three companions and enlist their aid in killing the Duke of Beaufort (Eusebio Lazaro), one of Mazarin's political opponents.  D'Artagnon finds that all of his friends are in markedly better circumstances than he:  Aramis (Richard Chamberlain) is in charge of an abbey and the Queen's personal confessor, Athos (Oliver Reed) retired to his country estate and adopted a son, Raoul (C. Thomas Howell), and Porthos (Frank Finlay) married an incredibly rich woman.  Only Porthos is bored enough to join D'Artagnon.  The other two are working for Beaufort.

Meanwhile, young Raoul is lovestruck the first time he sees Justine du Winter (Kim Cattrall), which happens to be while she is murdering the headsman that killed her mother with his own axe.  She tells him her sordid tale, her version of it anyway, as they spar.  He repeats it to his father, not knowing that is the nobleman she seeks.  But it doesn't matter, because the four musketeers are summoned by the queen for a rescue mission.  Her fellow monarch across the channel, Charles I (Bill Patterson) is being tried for treason and facing execution.  She sends the four over with the express intent of smuggling Charles out of the country.  Three guesses who they run into.  If you said Justine du Winter, congratulations!  You've been paying attention.

This movie was severely lacking in the amount of fun compared to the previous two, The Three Musketeers and Milady's Revenge.  I've never been impressed with Kim Cattrall's acting ability and she certainly is no Faye Dunaway.  The production was also hindered by the death of supporting actor, Roy Kinnear.  They did the best they could with the footage they had and used body doubles and voice overs for the rest, but it shows.  It just seemed like everyone involved had found better things to do with their time but they were contracted for one more movie.  Phoned in is the phrase I'm looking for, I guess.

And apparently, I have misspelled Musketeers in every single other post I have written.  Awesome.  All of those have been fixed now.  Thank you for not eviscerating me in the comments.

Flame and Citron (2008)

I'm really surprised this didn't get nominated for more awards.  It seems like Oscar candy.

Based on real people, this is the story of two Dutch WWII resistance fighters, code-named Flame (Thure Lindhardt) and Citron (Mads Mikkelsen).  They typically work as assassins of Dutch collaborators under their handler, Aksel Winther (Peter Mygind).  When Winther decides to send them after German targets, the threat of reprisal becomes much higher.  That doesn't really bother Flame and Citron, though, since each man has his own reasons for seeing it through whatever the cost.  However, when Winther names Flame's girlfriend (Stine Stengade) as an informer, it throws everything they had previously known into doubt.

Despite the Art Deco poster, the movie is fully in color, in case you were wondering.  Visually, it's a beautiful film, even though it is horribly sad because it's set during WWII.  There were not a lot of happy times to be had during that period.  Like I said, Oscar candy.

I wouldn't call it a modern masterpiece but it was a well-done film that illustrated a different slice of the war than I was previously familiar with.  Worth a rental.

Marathon Man (1976)

  Talk about a horror movie.  Watch this and tell me if you can look at your dentist ever again without breaking into a cold sweat.  Jesus.

Babe Levy (Dustin Hoffman) is working on his graduate thesis at Columbia University and training to enter a marathon when he is drawn into a dangerous international web of diamond smuggling involving his brother Doc (Roy Schider), shadowy government personnel (William Devane), and a dental tool-wielding Nazi (Laurence Olivier).

This was made before I was born but it still holds up remarkably well as an edge-of-your-seat movie.  Sir Laurence Olivier is absolutely chilling as the White Angel.  Now I know why people speak his name with such reverence.  The man disappeared into that role.  I was totally blown away.

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

  I didn't come to enjoy this version of the story until two or three years ago.  Now it's one of my favorite adaptations.

Young solicitor Jonathan Harker (Keanu Reeves) heads to the far reaches of Transylvania to finalize some property purchases for a mysterious nobleman, Count Dracula (Gary Oldman), after his predecessor Mr. Renfield (Tom Waits) is committed to an asylum.  Little does Harker realize that his host is actually an immortal blood-drinker who just wants the young man out of the way so he can seduce his lovely fiancee, Mina (Winona Ryder).  Mina is the spitting image of the Count's dead wife and he is willing to tear apart all of London to get her back.

This is definitely one of the most sympathetic portrayals of the classic monster, brought to life by a phenomenal cast and top-notch costumes and makeup.  I just bought it on blu-ray and it looks amazing, even two decades later. 

Bloodsport (1988)

  Christy came running in all excited the other day because she had gotten a package from Amazon.  Inside were Sleepwalkers, a book, and Bloodsport.  So, today we watched this awesome piece of 80's nostalgia.

Frank Dux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is an American Army Captain who takes leave in order to attend the Kumite, a no-holds-barred full-contact martial arts tournament held in Hong Kong.  He is going to honor the teachings of his master, Senzo Tanaka (Roy Chiao).  The Army isn't exactly thrilled with this image and sends two investigators (Norman Burton and Forrest Whitaker) to bring him back.  There's also a nosy reporter (Leah Ayres) trying to get Dux to give her an exclusive on the super-secret Kumite.  Not to mention the current champion, Chong Li (Bolo Yeung), has decided Dux has to be taught a lesson. 

This is one of those movies where you either embrace the goofiness and just roll with it or you hate it.  I don't think there's an in-between. 

The Eagle (2011)

  This wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, despite the presence of Channing Tatum.  Having Jamie Bell there helped a lot.

Marcus Flavius Aquilla (Channing Tatum) is a Roman centurion in charge of the 4th Gauls legion.  When he is wounded in action and honorably discharged, he thinks his life is over.  His uncle (Donald Sutherland) presents him with a Brigantii slave named Esca (Jamie Bell) after Marcus petitions for Esca's life during a gladiator bout.  Claudius Marcellus (Dakin Matthews), a legate, mentions that the eagle standard of the 9th Legion was spotted somewhere north of Hadrian's wall.  Marcus' father was commander of the 9th when all 5000 men went missing.  Marcus decides to take Esca and go searching for the eagle to restore his family's honor.

If you absolutely had to watch a Channing Tatum movie, this would be the one to see.  Plus, there's one scene where some random highland guy walks by and just kicks him in the face.  I wanted to rewind and watch that part about eight times.

The Purge (2013)

  This movie sucked.  No pussyfooting around, no soft pitch, I'm just going to give it to you straight.  Do  not watch The Purge.  It is ham-handed, cliché-ridden, and a waste of your time.

America has instituted a 12-hour annual Purge, where all crime, including murder, is legal.  People that can afford it lock themselves inside their houses and wait it out.  The Sandin family was planning on doing just that when their son (Max Burkholder) hears a man outside calling for help.  He opens the security system to let the stranger (Edwin Hodge) into their house on the most dangerous night of the year.  Then the people chasing the stranger show up and demand that he be returned to them for purging, or they'll come in and kill everyone.  James (Ethan Hawke), the father, intends to do that, if he can just find the guy in his enormous house.

This is possibly the stupidest family in America and, frankly, I think they deserved what they got and more.  I could go on a long diatribe about how dumb they are and all the mistakes they made but that's giving this movie more press than is justified.  Do not watch this movie.  It is terrible.

Sleepwalkers (1992)

  Apparently, this is one of Christy's favorite movies.  I had never even heard of it, but as I said previously, I am not a big Stephen King fan.  The man sure does have a thing about cats, though.

Charles Brady (Brian Krause) and his mother (Alice Krige) are sleepwalkers, a race of shapeshifting creatures that feed on the life force of virgins and can only be killed by cat scratches.  Nowadays they're all but starving.  So when Charles spots Tanya (Madchen Amick) in his Creative Writing class, he thinks he's hit the jackpot.  Except he maybe kinda sorta likes her enough to keep from sucking her dry like a Capri-Sun.  But Mommy dear reminds him that, uh, they need to eat and he should stop screwing around.

This is a fairly silly movie that falls squarely into the so-bad-it's-good territory.  The acting is over-the-top, especially from Krause, the dialogue is very Stephen King (i.e. stilted and weird), and the creature effects are just bizarre.  Seriously, imagine Ron Perlman (who is in this movie, by the way) from his Beauty and the Beast days but hairless.  It's gross looking.

  See what I mean?  They're competently done but there's no real horror there.  It's more like "ugh, who put Nair in the cat shampoo?"

Jason and the Argonauts (1963)

  Another piece of wonder and magic from Ray Harryhausen.  I thought this was made in the 70's, like a couple of years earlier than Clash of the Titans.  For the early 60's, this was pretty amazing.

Jason (Todd Armstrong) barely escapes with his life after his kingdom is invaded by King Pelias (Douglas Wilmer).  He grows up in seclusion and, upon reaching adulthood, decides to go back and take his birthright.  First, he accidentally saves Pelias from drowning and then spills his entire plan to the man, which consists of sailing to the end of the world in search of the Golden Fleece, a gift from the gods, and returning with it to bring a sense of wonder to the people, restoring their faith in the gods and ousting Pelias.  The king pretends to think this is a great plan, but urges Jason to go ahead and sail for the Fleece before confronting the king.  He even volunteers his own son, Acastus (Gary Raymond) to go with him.  After putting together a crew of the finest warriors, including Hercules (Nigel Green), they board the Argos and set sail.  The goddess Hera (Honor Blackman) takes a personal interest in helping Jason and guides him in the form of a figurehead on the ship.

It's been a long time since I read the story of Jason and his crew so I didn't remember a lot of the detail.  I think I kept getting it confused with The Odyssey.  It's a fun watch, though, and the stop motion effects are great if you squint a little bit.  Sadly, blu-ray lets you see every crack and crease in the models so you have to work a little harder to suspend your disbelief.  I probably won't own it but it was definitely worth the rental.

Carrie (2013)

  In general, I am not a huge fan of remakes.  Horror films I give a little more leeway to because in many cases they could do with some polishing.  The years are not kind to red corn syrup. 

Carrie is mostly okay as an updated version of the 1976 Sissy Spacek version.  Chloe Moretz is a fast-rising star and I hope she keeps making movies for years to come.  My problems with this remake stem from the decision to stay closer to the source material, Stephen King's novella. I have never been a fan of Mr. King's books.  They're too overwrought for my tastes and his dialogue is usually shit.  They need to keep making movies because he does have great ideas, just poor execution.  A strong director and screenwriter can curb some of that. 

Carrie White (Chloe Moretz) is a lonely teen with a fanatically religious mother (Julianne Moore).  She is terrorized and traumatized by her classmates, led by mean girl Chris Hargensen (Portia Doubleday), after getting her period for the first time.  The gym teacher (Judy Greer) suspends Chris from the upcoming prom for her behavior.  Fellow classmate Sue Snell (Gabriella Wilde) feels guilty about the bullying and convinces her boyfriend Tommy (Ansel Elgort) to take Carrie to the prom.  Meanwhile, Chris and her boyfriend (Chronicle's Alex Russell) plan one last prank.  What they don't know is that meek little Carrie White has had just about enough abuse from everyone in her life.

It's nice to see Judy Greer getting more dramatic roles.  She's usually a comedienne and I like seeing her branch out.  Julianne Moore gives great crazy-face in this but the horrible stilted dialogue kills it for me.  Dirty pillows?  Really?  You can do better.

Blood and Bone (2009)

  This violent little gem came to me courtesy of Netflix streaming suggestions.  While not an awards contender by any means, it was an enjoyable romp through the underground fight club world.

Bone (Michael Jai White) is released from prison.  We don't know what he did and, frankly, we don't need to know.  He beats people's asses.  That is usually enough in our society to warrant a little jail time.  He finds a room for rent and immediately goes looking for an underground fight promoter, finding a foul-mouthed little scamp named Pinball (Dante Basco).  Pinball is strictly small-time so he thinks he's hit the lottery when stone-cold BAMF Bone wants him to start organizing fights.  Bone builds up a reputation around town, leading up to a fight with Hammerman (Bob Sapp), who is owned by smooth operator James (Eamonn Walker).  Once James sees Bone in action, he realizes that there is his ticket to the big leagues and entrance into the Consortium:  a high-powered crime ring led by Franklin McVeigh (Julian Sands).  But Bone has his own agenda to pursue.

Yeah, as if I wasn't going to be sold the minute I saw Julian Sands in the credits.  But for you hard-to-please types there's also Rufio from Hook and a special little cameo by Gina Carano, before she got Hollywood famous and was just fight famous.  There's also a lot of ass-kicking.  Did I mention that?  So much ass-kicking.  If you wanted to buy it, you could probably get it for cheap since I don't think a lot of mainstream people heard about this one.  I'm not going to judge you.  I was entertained throughout the entire movie.

Sin City: Recut (2005)

  I can't believe I haven't reviewed this before.  This isn't even my copy; it's the recut, extended, unrated version from Netflix.  I'm pretty sure it was a bonus disc on the blu-ray, which I will be upgrading to posthaste.

Based on Frank Miller's graphic novel, Sin City tells the interconnected stories of Marv (Mickey Rourke), an ex-con dealing out vengeance after his lover, Goldie (Jamie King) is killed; Hartigan (Bruce Willis), a hardboiled cop who went to prison in order to protect a young girl's (Jessica Alba) identity from a serial rapist (Nick Stahl); and Dwight (Clive Owen), who is just trying to get rid of his new girlfriend's (Brittany Murphy) abusive ex-boyfriend (Benicio del Toro) before he starts a war in Old Town. 

This film was AMAZING on blu-ray.  It looked brand-new.  The recut version presented the vignettes in chronological order, which did disrupt the flow quite a bit, but also allowed a lot more extended footage.  They ended up being separate little mini-movies instead of one complete film.  There were a lot of special features as well, including behind-the-scenes looks at the makeup, the costumes, and (my favorite) even a little cooking session with Robert Rodriguez.  It's totally worth buying this movie again if you only have it on DVD.

Machete Kills (2013)

  I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking that the Grindhouse phenomenon is over, a flash-in-the-pan from 2007 that should never have been continued now, five whole years later.

You're wrong.

This movie was awesomely, gloriously, stupidly violent and packed wall-to-wall with celebrity cameos.  Every frame had some sort of self-referential humor, courtesy of Robert Rodriguez. 

Machete (Danny Trejo) is recruited by President Rathcock (Carlos Estevez aka Charlie Sheen) to stop a Mexican revolutionary with a missile aimed at D.C.  Machete infiltrates cartel territory in Mexico with the help of his handler, Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard) to find Mendez the Madman (Demian Bichir) and all his other personalities.  Mendez has wired the missile's launch to his heartbeat and only the manufacturer, Luther Voz (Mel Gibson) can disarm it.  To make matters interesting, Mendez has also placed a $10 million bounty on his own head, calling out every assassin on the continent, including the elusive El Cameleon (Lady Gaga).  Machete must rely on friends old (Michelle Rodriguez) and new (Vanessa Hudgens) if he wants to save the free world.

I thought this was going to be a lame attempt at a sequel, filled with boobs and blood splatter.  I was wrong about the boobs.  My favorite part of the movie was probably the Grindhouse trailer for the threequel at the beginning, which I seriously hope gets made.  I didn't buy Machete but I will own Machete Kills.

Fun fact:  Rob and I re-watched Machete in preparation for the sequel (well, I re-watched it.  He had never seen it).  In high-def, you can totally tell that it's not Lindsey Lohan in the waterfall scene.  She's missing the freckles on her arms.  However, when she wakes up from her drunken stupor in the church, you can see a nipple slip a couple of times.  You're welcome.

Dredd (2012)

  For a big, dumb action movie, this wasn't half bad.  I don't remember seeing the old 90's Judge Dredd with Stallone.  I keep getting it confused with Demolition Man.  

Judge Dredd (Karl Urban) is assigned rookie partner Anderson (Olivia Thirlby) on a test basis.  Anderson was just shy of passing the Judge exam but is being granted a conditional pass because of her strong psychic ability.  They are called to the Peach Trees mega-complex, a kilometer-high building with 75,000 residents, over a triple murder.  Three men were skinned and thrown from the 200th floor.  Dredd and Anderson trace them back to a dealer (Wood Harris) of a new kind of narcotic sweeping Mega City One:  Slo-mo, which makes the imbibers feel as though time were moving at a fraction of its speed.  The drug's distributor, Ma-Ma (Lena Headey) is based out of Peach Trees and determines that the judges cannot be allowed to interrogate their captured dealer.  She seals the building and puts a bounty on Dredd and Anderson's heads.  From there, it's all bullets.

I can't deny that the film is hyper-violent.  I'll probably end up owning it, or at least burning a permanent copy from the server.  That's pretty much the only allure here, since there's not much in the way of nuance or character development.  The good guys are strictly defined and the bad guys are even more so.  There's a little interest in Anderson's psychic abilities, since those are explored pretty decently in the film and Karl Urban gives a great frowny face.  Seriously, he's like a human grumpy cat with a helmet in this.  It's awesome.  Your mileage may vary but it's definitely worth a watch.

Ghost World (2001)

  What the fuck was this movie supposed to be about?  If it's not a metaphor for suicide, then I just didn't get it at all.  

Enid (Thora Birch) is a disaffected young artist, disaffected being a polite word for bitchy in this case.  She hates everyone and everything for not living up to the standards she feels are necessary but is unable to articulate.  As one last high school prank, she and her friend Rebecca (Scarlett Johansson) respond to a personal ad for a missed connection.  However, when the poor schlub (Steve Buscemi) shows up, Enid feels unexpectedly guilty.  She decides to continue following Seymour, eventually befriending him.  Rebecca just wants to move on with their lives, getting a job and an apartment, but Enid just can't commit.  She makes Seymour her proxy, using the excuse of getting him a date rather than confront her own inabilities to connect with other people.

Maybe this was a big deal when it first came out, but a dozen years later, it just feels emotionally stunted.  Everyone goes through periods of ennui, and being a teenager is hard.  It's a time when everyone around you starts to expect adult decision-making, when the choices you make matter.  It can be paralyzing to make those choices on your own, and to face the consequences thereof.  But you still do them.  It's the only way growth is possible.  Otherwise, you might as well just kill yourself. 

Departures (2008)

  At first blush, this does not seem like it's going to be a fun watch.  

Daigo (Masahiro Motoki) is a concert cellist who has finally gotten a place at a Tokyo orchestra... only to have it fold.  Disconsolate, he and his wife Mika (Ryoko Hirosue), move back to his hometown.  Searching the papers for work, he comes across an ad for "departures".  Thinking it's like a travel agency, he applies, and is hired on the spot.  Then he's told it's actually a typo, and it was supposed to say "the departed".  He has just signed up to be an apprentice Nokanshi, one who prepares bodies for cremation.  In the U.S., the equivalent would probably be a mortician, but the Nokanshi's role is almost like that of a priest, highly ritualized and meant to give comfort to the living.  Initially embarrassed, Daigo soon finds the work to be more rewarding than he had ever imagined.

This film suckers you in by being quite funny, mostly due to Motoki's highly expressive face, and then, when it hits you with the sad cello music, you're completely unprepared. 

Everyone handles death differently.  Most people find their inevitable mortality too overwhelming to think about from day to day.  When it comes, it is often bewildering.  The urge to revile those who work with the dead, to see them as unclean, stems from the fear that one day we too will end up as nothing more than an empty vessel.  But it is a necessary and honorable work, capable of relieving some of the burden of grief by ensuring that the deceased are treated in death as they perhaps would not have been in life, with great dignity and respect. 

This movie won Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars in 2009, which is probably how it ended up in my Netflix queue.  I probably wouldn't own it, but it's a great film and I encourage everyone to seek it out at least once.

The Conjuring (2013)

  This has been a good year for horror fans.  It has not been a great year for me getting to see stuff in theaters, but thankfully, I have people who are able to acquire things for me.  Rob is in the final stages of getting his RAID back up and running, but for now I have Christy's new beau to provide me with the scary cinematic treats I crave.

The Perron family thinks they've got it made when they move into a lakeside house.  It's definitely a fixer-upper, but with five daughters running around, Roger (Ron Livingston) and Carolyn (Lili Taylor) need all the space they can get.  What their realtor failed to inform them, however, is that the house is already occupied by the lingering spirits of the dead.  After a series of manifestations, Carolyn seeks out renowned demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga).

I really enjoyed this film.  The make-up work was outstanding, I appreciated the use of practical effects over CGI (even though there were a couple), and the set design was super-creepy.  I don't know whose job it was to make the Annabelle doll look like the most evil thing imaginable, but they went above and beyond.  Excellent work.  It is ostensibly based on a true story, which made Christy hyperventilate.  I think it scared her more than Sinister.

The only thing that threatened my enjoyment of the film was that I couldn't stop counting the references to other horror movies.  I don't think any of it was overt, but there were a number of things that reminded me of other movies, from Halloween to Paranormal Activity.  It was like Cabin in the Woods without the meta-humor. It is a damn good movie, however, and I will be adding it to my Christmas wish list.

The Borrowers (1973)/The New Adventures of Heidi (1978)

  When I was home on vacation, I saw The Secret World of Arietty, which is the most modern (so far) take on the classic English children's novel The Borrowers and which I apparently forgot to review.  This version is a made-for-TV movie from 1973.  Rob got it as a free double feature disc and gave it to me because he knows I'll watch anything once.

Pod Clock (Eddie Albert), his wife Homily (Tammy Grimes), and their fourteen-year-old daughter Arietty (Karen Pearson) are Borrowers living under the kitchen floor of an English manor.  The manor is owned by a bed-ridden old woman (Judith Anderson) who believes Pod is a hallucination she has after too much Madeira.  But when her nephew (Dennis Larson) arrives to recuperate, Pod is frightened.  Human boys are the most destructive force Borrowers have ever had to deal with, and the family begins to make plans to emigrate.  Arietty is seen by The Boy while she is borrowing and, instead of being afraid, makes friends.  However, the cook (Beatrice Straight) becomes suspicious when even more things go missing than usual and hires a local boy to let his ferret loose under the floorboards.

This is pretty much no reason at all to watch this movie now that there are more modern ones available.  The effects are really shoddy and no one can decide if they are keeping an American accent or a British one.  The only thing of note here for children of the 80's is Tammy Grimes, who voiced Molly Grue in The Last Unicorn.  

  This movie was a trainwreck.  Unlike the former, which is based on an actual book, this abomination just took an established property, Heidi, and decided to make it "modern".  And then made it a musical.

Heidi (Katy Kurtzman) lives in the Alps with her Grandfather (Burl Ives) in a time machine, apparently, since they have remained unchanged from 1880 to 1978.  Except now, Grandfather's eyes are failing.  He decides to send Heidi to live with cousins in Lucerne but then she meets a lonely little girl named Elizabeth (Sherrie Wills) whose father (John Gavin) is a hotel tycoon.  Elizabeth convinces the cousins that Heidi should come stay with her like Swiss Orphan Annie after Grandfather disappears on the mountain.  From there it becomes more about Elizabeth trying to get her father to notice her again instead of being a workaholic.  Also, for some reason, they go to New York City for Christmas.

This movie made no sense, the musical numbers were awful, and there is zero reason to watch it.  This one at least had some named actors like Burl Ives (Frosty the Snowman) and John Gavin, legit movie star who was in Psycho, Spartacus, and even Thoroughly Modern Millie.  And, in case you've ever wondered what happened to Pete from Pete's Dragon, (Sean Marshall), he moved to Switzerland to be a goatherd.

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

  This also won Best Picture, but it's from Warner Bros. not Columbia so it's not part of my box set.  I had to get this one from Netflix.  It's a good film, and a classic one, but it's not destined to be one of my favorites.

Two down-and-out Americans, Dobbs (Humphrey Bogart) and Curtin (Tim Holt), are bumming around Mexico.  They overhear an old-timer (Walter Huston) talking about the fortunes he's made and lost while prospecting for gold.  Deciding that they have nothing to lose, they talk the old guy into teaming up with them and head off into the Sierra Madre mountain range.  After a grueling couple of weeks of travel, Dobbs and Curtin are ready to pack it in when they hit paydirt.  They then proceed to basically ignore every single one of the old man's stories about how big seams of gold manage to bring out the worst in people.

This is probably Bogart's most unpleasant character, and that's including his turn on The African Queen.  Bogey is one of the most naturally laconic actors ever to be on screen, and seeing him attempt to give Dobbs a kind of manic energy was a little off-putting as well.  It just didn't feel very natural.  It probably didn't help that I was sitting there thinking "that's Humphrey Bogart, actor" instead of "that's Fred C. Dobbs, prospector" but what are you going to do?  Man's an icon.  That, and the ending is kind of a kick in the teeth.  I know it's supposed to be and I can even appreciate what it is saying.  But I don't have to like it.