A team of Navy SEALs discovers a cache of U.S. military Stinger missiles in the possession of a terrorist group during a rescue mission. In their subsequent attempts to locate said missiles, their alcoholic hothead team member (Charlie Sheen) goes off-piste and gets their reluctantly-engaged team member (Dennis Haysbert) killed. The team leader (Michael Biehn) reaches out to a reporter (Joanne Whalley) for inside information about the terrorist leader (Nicholas Kadi) and everyone learns an important lesson in diplomacy and extending empathy. Just kidding. They blow the fuck out of like an entire city block in Beirut.
This is a whole bunch of stereotypes wrapped in jingoistic paper with a big ironic bow. The jokes are terrible, Sheen is walking cringe, and Whalley is given absolutely nothing to do. Biehn excels at playing the straight man, utterly earnest with a little bit of righteous anger, but it comes off flat here because the script is so bad. And the worst part: all the bureaucracy is 100% accurate. That's why this movie sucks. It's too real. Give me Commando or Rambo III any day over this. I don't want to see people hamstrung by a committee of REMFs looking to cover their political asses. I want to see a dude take down a helicopter with a bow and arrow. That's some good shit.
Navy SEALs is streaming for free on Tubi but I think it's leaving at the end of the month, so you might want to hurry.
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