Tombstone (1993)

Somehow there are still people who have never seen this.  Several in my Movie Club, even!  Obviously, being the humanitarian that I am, I had to fix that.  

Doc Holliday and Mad Martigan are the two hottest roles Val Kilmer ever took.  Do not argue; I will fight you.  The showdown between him and Ringo is the highlight of the film.  Seconded by every scene with Kurt Russell threatening people.  I love this movie so much *sob*.  Originally posted 28 Jan 12.    I shouldn't even have to describe this movie.  I should just be able to put up the poster and have everyone recognize it as badass.  But there are still people who have never seen this movie.  Up until last night, Rob was one of them.  I can't say he was anxious to watch it since he's pathologically afraid of trying new things but I persevered.  He liked it.  Not as much as I thought he should have, but he was preoccupied with thoughts of Star Wars:  The Old Republic.  What can I do?

This tells the (highly embellished) story of the shootout at the OK Corral but starts months before that with the arrival of the Earp brothers and their wives to Tombstone, Arizona, a silver boomtown.  Middle brother Wyatt (Kurt Russell) had made a name for himself as a lawman in Kansas but retired and moved out west with his family to settle down and make money.  Not long after he arrives in Tombstone, he ousts a foul-mouthed card dealer (Billy Bob Thornton) from The Oriental saloon and takes over, beginning a lucrative job and running into his old friend Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer).  But things are not all wine and roses.  The town is under the thumb of The Cowboys, a mangy group of psychopaths led by Curly Bill (Powers Boothe).  After the US Marshal in town is shot, Wyatt's brother Virgil (Sam Elliott) steps up to take his place, with all three Earps earning the enmity of The Cowboys. The movie spirals into more and more bloodshed as grudges are settled and made anew.

There are so many stars in this movie it's ridiculous.  Everybody from Michael Biehn to Billy Zane.  I can only imagine how crazy casting must have been.  Still, it is one of the absolute best Westerns of all time.

The Golem (2019)

  I wish this had been a better horror movie.  Content warning:  dead child, moderate gore

Hanna (Hani Furstenberg) has had seven years of misery after losing her son to an accident.  She seeks refuge in religious scholarship, specifically the mysticism of Kabbalah.  When her village is threatened by angry Gentiles blaming them for an outbreak of plague, Hanna decides to create a golem, a legendary protector, despite being warned of the danger by a survivor of the Golem of Prague.  See, the problem is that the creature is linked to its creator, so it responds to subconscious threats as well as overt.  

The story of the Golem of Prague is such a good one and it's a shame to see it basically stripped for parts to make a Rosemary's Baby knock-off.  It's not a good grief analogy and it's not a good antisemitism analogy.  It's not even a very good basic horror.  There just seems to be a lack of conviction or overall point to be made.  Hanna feels like a cardboard cutout so there's no emotional connection and everyone around her is kind of a drip.

I love horror based outside American Christianity and I'm pleased this was made, but I wish this had been a stronger film.  It's streaming on Peacock.

Starred Up (2013)

  I had kind of a backlog of posts for this week.  Content warning:  attempted suicide (hanging)

At 19-years-old, Eric Love (Jack O'Connell) is moved from a juvenile detention facility to actual Big Boy prison, the same facility as his father, Neville (Ben Mendelsohn).  Neville wants his son to have a better life and a chance to get out of prison but he doesn't really know how to express his feelings.  An unfortunate misunderstanding sees Eric come to the attention of a volunteer therapist (Rupert Friend), Jago (Raphael Sowole), the prisoner who runs the contraband of the prison, and Deputy Governor Hayes (Sam Spruell), who has very definitive ideas about how inmates should be treated.

This is an extremely tense movie.  There's a lot of violence and even more posturing as the build-up to violence.  If you don't like prison movies, this is going to be a hard pass.  But if you can sit with it, you'll get to experience one of the most sensitive dramas about toxic masculinity, pride, self-worth, and family that I have ever seen.

It's easy to forget that Ben Mendelsohn is an incredible actor if you've only seen him in like Marvel's Secret Invasion or bit parts in ensemble casts.  He owns every frame he's in of this movie and hangs like a shadow over the ones he's not.  O'Connell, Friend, and David Ajala are rising stars but Mendelsohn is a veteran and the difference is striking.  

I'm not saying get your dad to watch this instead of Shawshank on Father's Day, but it's definitely worth the watch.  It's streaming on the Roku Channel.

Morbius (2022)

  Finally getting around to another film with artificially inflated reviews.  Like Madame Web, this doesn't deserve the amount of hate it got.  It definitely doesn't deserve the amount of ironic praise, either.  

Born with a rare unnamed medical condition, Michael Morbius (Jared Leto) became a Nobel-winning biochemist.  His invention of artificial blood saved countless lives, but couldn't cure his or his rich friend Milo's (Matt Smith) fatal disorder.  With the clock running out, Dr. Morbius tries an experimental cure on himself, accidentally winding up with the powers and bloodlust of classical vampirism.  He considers it a failure but Milo sees it as the opportunity to finally live instead of just exist.

Do you know what the cardinal, unforgivable sin of this movie is?  It's not the script, the leads, or the CGI.  This movie makes vampires unsexy.  Vampires.  Completely unfuckable.  I don't know if there is a greater crime.  Hell, even TWILIGHT tried to make vampires Morman-sexy.  

I fully believe Jared Leto is an insufferable asshole in real life but I don't hate him as an actor.  So please take that into account when I say he gave a sexier performance as the Worst Joker than he did as the Living Vampire. (Yes, I did read those comics.  What?)  Matt Smith doesn't do it for me in general but I recognize that he's conventionally attractive.  Not here.  Totally neutered his appeal.  Don't even get me started on Adria Arjona.  This movie did her so dirty.  

Despite the in-universe joking, Morbius isn't trying to be Venom.  It desperately wants to be Batman Begins but much like their characters in American Psycho, Leto just winds up in a plastic tarp next to Christian Bale.  

The script is weak, feels like a second-draft written right up to deadline and cribbed from every (good) vampire film, novel, and TV show ever made.  It's not funny but it can't be horror or drama because it doesn't have the balls so it exists in a weird limbo.  Anyway, it's streaming on Disney+.

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

  This was the Movie Club pick for last week, along with The Babadook.  Content warning:  mild body horror

Owen (Justice Smith) and Maddie (Brigette Lundy-Paine) bonded over their shared love of The Pink Opaque, a paranormal fantasy TV show aimed at tweens and teens, which is mysteriously cancelled the same time Maddie disappears.  Owen tries to get on with life, feeling more and more displaced, until Maddie shows up once more with a new identity.  Is she really his friend?  Is anything real?

The trans allegory is centered prominently but this is just as impactful for anyone who felt like an outsider or that they somehow didn't belong in their life.  If you grew up in the 90s, this movie will feel like a punch in the solar plexus, but it doesn't wallow in nostalgia.  It uses that wistfulness to amp the discordant vibes until your teeth are on edge.

In other words, this movie fucking rocks.  It's not quite out on streaming yet but keep an eye out.  Until then, if you can catch it in theaters, do so.  Solid, atmospheric horror with only one quasi-jump scare.  Highly recommend.

The Bank Job (2008)

Re-watched this and it's still a solid middle-of-the-road heist film.  Absolutely worth the watch, especially  on a lazy, rainy day. I believe it is still streaming on Netflix.  Originally posted 11 Jun 11.    This turned out to be a better movie than I expected.  It could have very easily turned to crap.

Terry Leather (Jason Statham) is a petty hood running a shady car shop when he is approached by an old friend, Martine (Saffron Burrows), with a grand scheme.  She knows a guy who knows that the tremor alarms on the safe deposit room of a bank will be turned off over the course of a weekend.  Easy money for Terry and his crew.  What he doesn't know is that Martine's inside man (Richard Lintern) is inside, all right.  Inside MI5.  He's sending the team in as cover to get the contents of a particular safe deposit box belonging to a black militant named Michael X (Peter De Jersey).  See, X got some pictures of one of the royal family while they were on vacation and is using them to avoid prosecution.  It would be a great plan, if Michael X was the only bad guy who banked there.  The Porn King of SoHo keeps his little black book of police pay-offs in his box and one of the most influential madams keeps insurance pictures of MPs in hers.  So now, the entire criminal underworld and most of the government wants what Terry and his crew have and they're willing to kill to keep their secrets from coming out.

It says 'based on a true story' on the poster but, according to Wikipedia, most of it is based on urban legend.  This shouldn't deter you from seeing the film, by any means.  Just because it's an urban legend doesn't mean it's not awesome.

The Silent Child (2017)

  This is a 22-min film that won Best Live Action Short a few years ago when the Academy re-discovered deafness as a cause du jour.

Libby (Maisie Sly) was born deaf to a hearing family and has struggled to communicate.  Joanne (Rachel Shenton), a social worker, begins to teach Libby some sign language, opening an entire new world for the six-year-old.  But Libby's mother (Rachel Fielding) wants Libby to focus on fitting in to the hearing world around her.

This is not a happy movie.  It is a sad PSA about understanding the need for accommodation even if it means disrupting the nice, orderly view you have about the world.  If it were any longer, it would be masochistic but it skates right under that limit.  It's currently streaming on Kanopy.

All the Way (2016)

  Everything I've read about Lyndon B. Johnson paints him as a loud, crass, blustery asshole.  This HBO Original tries to ameliorate that by also claiming that he was genuinely trying to improve the lives of Black people in the Civil Rights debate instead of just using them for political points.  Content warning:  racism, racial murder, homophobia

Thrust unexpectedly into the Presidency, Lyndon B. Johnson (Bryan Cranston) has to scramble with pushing legislation from his predecessor, including the 1964 Civil Rights Act.  His Southern Democrat compatriots vehemently oppose the Act but Johnson knows that the South must change or be left behind.  He tries to walk a fine line between appealing to Civil Rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. (Anthony Mackie) and not pissing off his oldest supporters, like Senator Dick Russell (Frank Langella). Then there's a re-election campaign and a looming war in southeast Asia to consider.

I feel like history has judged LBJ already and it was not a positive legacy but I'm not a presidential scholar.  This biopic is pretty decent.  Stephen Root plays J. Edgar Hoover and Bradley Whitford is back in the West Wing as Herbert Humphrey.  Cranston kind of disappears under the makeup but Melissa Leo quietly steals the show as Lady Byrd.  All the starry performances can't quite get it out of the shadow of JFK, though.  As always, your mileage may vary.  It's currently streaming on Max.

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

  I got busy yesterday and forgot to post.  This is what happens when I think "Oh, you don't need to schedule posts.  You'll be fine."  Will I learn from this?  No.  Content warning:  multiple gang rape scenes, some blood, suicide attempt

Alex (Malcom McDowell) is a teenaged hooligan who tools around with his cohort of other hooligans, robbing, raping, and assaulting people until he is betrayed by his gang and arrested.  He is chosen to be the pilot program for a new government-funded anti-crime measure which is just aversion therapy and some mild brainwashing.  Thus declawed, Alex is released back into society to face justice in the form of consequences from his victims.

Eh.  This is not one of Kubrick's best.  It feels low-budget somehow, tacky and cheap where it should have been full spectacle.  Maybe it seems so dated because it tried way too hard to be neo-futuristic.  

Content-wise, I was pretty bored.  The violence doesn't seem shocking or visceral.  McDowell tries to give "young sociopath" a go but is missing the edge somehow.  Maybe the narration softens it.  I think it might have been better to just see Alex's actions instead of hearing his rationalizations.  Like the movie tried too hard to bring in elements of the book.  Which, very famously, had the last chapter (in which the character expresses remorse and shows growth and maturity) cut for an American release.  Possibly the most American thing ever.  Kubrick was aware of the missing chapter but thought it ruined the character so he deliberately filmed the American version.  The term "edgelord" hadn't been invented in his lifetime, but I think we can apply it posthumously.

This is considered a Cinema Classic but I found it overrated.  It's currently streaming on the Criterion Channel if you want to give it a shot.

Out of Sight (1998)

  This was last week's Movie Club pick, along with Jackie Brown as an Elmore Leonard double feature.  It was an interesting juxtaposition of two different directors handling similar source material.  So let's talk about Steven Soderbergh.  Content warning:  attempted rape, moderate gore

Jack (George Clooney), a bank robber, breaks out of prison but has the bad luck to be spotted by U.S. Marshal Karen Sisco (Jennifer Lopez) in the parking lot.  He takes the Marshal hostage and the two experience a brief moment of mutual attraction.  Sisco then makes it her mission to track Jack down and foil whatever plan he has.  Jack finds his schemes further complicated by an accomplice who can't keep his mouth shut (Steve Zahn) and a psychopath (Don Cheadle) intent on taking over the score: uncut diamonds held by Richard Ripley (Albert Brooks), a white collar criminal himself.

I had seen this before, probably when it came out or shortly thereafter but all I remembered was the chemistry between the leads.  Watching it this time, I was surprised by how depressing it actually is.  **SPOILERS** Jack is a career criminal adamant about Not Going Back to Prison.  So much so that the climax of the film is him attempting to have his law enforcement lover kill him as Suicide by Cop rather than be arrested.  **END SPOILERS**  There are cute, flirty elements but the crux is two people who can never be together without violating their principles.  And some laws.  

Clooney is excellent with every other cast member.  He is Charisma Personified, a fact that Soderbergh took full advantage of in every film he made with the actor.  This is early in Lopez's film career, just a couple of years after her star-making turn in Selena, and you can see the bones of what could have been a solid indie character actor that unfortunately, Soderbergh doesn't seem to know what to do with here.  Every Sisco scene without Clooney is flat.  It's clearly written to show that Sisco is a dedicated LEO but the camera can't stop tripping over her ass or legs or lips as she bounces around the screen in designer clothes.  That's not Lopez's fault.  

Soderbergh has always been much better directing men than women.  Compare Ocean's 11 with Erin Brockovich.  I'm not saying he can't direct women (although Side Effects would lean towards that), he's just much better at directing men.  

Out of Sight is currently only available for rental unless you have a VPN.  

Searching (2018)

Okay, it's a day late but this is much more of a Dad Movie than Eaten Alive, so Happy Father's Day.  This was a neat concept and I know there's a follow-up that is similar but not a sequel, but I don't know if it's worth it.  I think this plays better as a one-off gimmick.

David (John Cho) has had trouble connecting with his teenaged daughter Margot (Michelle La) after the death of her mother (Sara Sohn) but he has no idea how much trouble until Margot goes missing.  He is suddenly faced with the realization that Margot has become a stranger as he begins to comb through her online life to help the lead detective (Debra Messing) establish a timeline of her last known whereabouts.

The movie is told exclusively through the screens of computers, smartphones, and digital cameras.  It mostly works, although as an audience member, I never felt immersed.  The screen becomes a shield, another layer between the viewer and the actors, which may have been what the director was going for, that dispassionate sense that we as internet users have, that it's less real somehow.  Maybe not.  Maybe it was just a gimmicky thing like Smell-O-Vision.  

I think it worked even better than Unfriended but that's a personal opinion.  Your mileage may vary.  It's currently streaming on Starz, which I get through Amazon.

Eaten Alive (1976)

  It's summertime!  Don't forget to feed your gators!  Content warning:  attempted rape, dead animal (monkey), mild gore

People come to the Starlight Inn and if the owner (Neville Brand) doesn't like their vibe, he tosses them to his imported Nile crocodile.  Look man, they can't all be Citizen Kane.

This is a B-grade creature feature with shitty prosthetics, a rubber alligator, and a soundtrack of creaky country music that rips through your ears like a buzzsaw.  The music is so loud in this whoever mixed the sound should have been fined and/or given jail time.  It also features a young, fresh-faced mangenue (real word!) named Robert England.  And for some ungodly reason, Carolyn Jones, Mel Ferrer, and Stuart Whitman.  Reality show fans will also notice Kyle Richards as six-year-old Angie.

Having now seen this, I'm left wondering if Quentin Tarantino deliberately modeled his personality after Englund's character, or if it was subconscious.  Because ho damn.  

I'm not going to lie to you, this isn't a good movie by any stretch.  But it is exactly what it says on the tin and sometimes that's enough.  It's currently streaming on Peacock and Tubi.

Stagecoach (1939)

  This Western is 85 years old and still feels completely modern.  And that's why John Ford has 4 Oscars for directing.

Nine strangers board a stagecoach bound for Lordsburg, by choice like Mr. Peacock (Donald Meek) the whiskey salesman, by happy coincidence like Doc Boone (Thomas Mitchell) the drunk, because they're running away like Mr. Gatewood the banker (Berton Churchill), because they're running towards something like Mrs. Mallory (Louise Platt) the soldier's wife, or Hatfield (John Carradine) the gambler, for vengeance like the Ringo Kid (John Wayne), for justice like Marshal Wilcox (George Bancroft), because they were paid to like Buck (Andy Devine) the driver, or because they were run out of town like Dallas (Claire Trevor) the prostitute.  Nine people in cramped conditions under the constant threat of attack by famed Apache warrior Geronimo, each with their own secret.

Unlike the majority of Westerns that came after, this is not a homogenous narrative of White People Good, Indians Bad.  It's a story of outsiders, people on the fringe of society.  Geronimo is a boogeyman here, a name on the wind.  Yes, the main cast is all white, but all the Native Americans are played by actual Native Americans, and all the Mexicans are played by actual Hispanic people which is better than most productions from that time.  I'm not going to sit here and say it's not racist because how could it not be?  But it was at least making an effort.

John Wayne is the big name but this was early enough in his career that he mostly has a supporting role in the ensemble.  Claire Trevor is the powerhouse in this film and she carries the vast majority of the emotional connection with the audience, but no one is miscast here.  Every story has weight and every character feels fully realized.  That is really hard to do in a nine-person ensemble without pacing problems but the script is so tight, it never feels like it's rushed.  The denouement does lose a little momentum but your tolerance for that may vary.

It's currently streaming on (sigh) Max and the Criterion Channel for money, Roku, Crackle, and Tubi for free, and Hoopla with a library card.  Give it a shot, even if you don't typically like Westerns or John Wayne.

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

  This week in Movie Club was Mrs. Doubtfire, a 90s comedy that has not aged all that well.  Content warning:  transphobia

Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) is an out-of-work voice actor who is suddenly, from a clear blue sky, confronted with a divorce by his wife, Miranda (Sally Field), after 14 years of constant complaint.  Due to his current state of job- and homelessness, Miranda is awarded full custody with an option for Daniel to be re-evaluated after 90 days.  Daniel decides that is too much injustice and instead has his makeup/VFX artist brother, Frank (Harvey Fierstein), make him a full-face latex mask and bodysuit, transforming Daniel into Euphegenia Doubtfire, English nanny.  Thus equipped, he infiltrates his ex-wife's house in order to still be around his unwitting children.  

If, like me, you grew up in the 90s watching this on repeat, you will still have fond nostalgia attached to it but that does not exculpate the film from being dangerously insane.  In much the same way as Fifty Shades of Grey being one billionaire away from a Criminal Minds episode, Robin Willians' charisma is all that saves Mrs. Doubtfire from being a Dateline special.  But it is Robin Williams and therefore no one is clamoring for Daniel Hillard to do jail time for the litany of crimes he commits in this film, including attempted murder.

God, the 90s were so weird about women.  This film was based on a novel written by a woman with two female scriptwriters and it's still horribly misogynistic.  Every woman in this is either a shrew or eye candy with no lines.  There's a heart buried in there and a fairly decent message of "Sometimes it just doesn't work out and it's nobody's fault" but you really have to dig.  

To its credit, the film does normalize Frank's relationship with his partner and none of the characters bats an eye over two gay (if heavily stereotyped) men in a committed family.  Which makes Chris's (Matt Lawrence) reaction to finding out his dad is cross-dressing as the housekeeper make no sense.  If you already know Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack do drag, why are you being weird about touching your dad's hand in drag?  (It comes right after a scene where Daniel uses the bathroom and doesn't wash his hands but that's not given as the reason for Chris's reluctance.)  I understand confusion, alarm even, but not the weird transphobia.

Anyway, your mileage on this will vary but it is currently streaming on Disney+.

The Last Time I Committed Suicide (1997)

  This movie was so 90s-dude-bro, I instinctively covered my drink.  Content warning:  suicide attempt, sex with a minor

Neal (Thomas Jane) is having trouble coming to terms with the attempted suicide of his girlfriend, Joan (Claire Forlani), so he's avoided seeing her in the hospital.  Instead, he spends all his time at the pool hall with his buddy Harry (Keanu Reeves) and hitting on underaged girls.  He finally gets a chance to start over and have the life of his dreams, only to discover that past decisions have far-reaching consequences.

God, this movie was insufferable.  It felt very amateurish, a fresh-out-of-film-school pretentiousness in editing, music, and direction.  The acting was frenetic without being dynamic, with a brittle cokehead quality clearly meant to be profound.  

It is based on a letter from the collection of Neal Cassady, who the movie will tell you was a major influential figure on Jack Kerouac and the beatnik set, even though Cassady was a minor player in terms of published volume compared to his peers.  That appeals to a certain set of men, the kind that think Catcher in the Rye is the Great American Novel in middle school only to become full-blown Hemingway stans by high school before devolving into generic Rand-spouting parrots by the end of their undergrad and taking a job in daddy's investment firm where they'll never have to read another book as long as they live.

I hate this movie, is what I'm saying here.  It's misogynistic garbage masquerading as philosophy and everyone involved went on to better things so it can safely be consigned to the toxic waste section of the ash heap of history.

It's streaming on the Roku channel for free, which is still too high a price.

Bambi (1942)

It's taken me damn near exactly 11 years to come around back to Bambi in my alphabetical watch.  And I still need to re-read the book.  This time I couldn't remember what the name of the other stag who challenges Bambi for Faline was.  Probably not the worst crime in the history of reading but it bugs me. 

Having just watched Lightyear, going back to hand-drawn cel animation was kind of a shock but no less of a technological marvel.  The depth of field demonstrated in this film was revolutionary for its time.  You can look up videos about how the animators accomplished it and be in awe.  Anyway, it's a good movie and a better book.  You can find it on Disney+ but this is probably one you should own.

Originally published 6/15/13.    I thought it was time to bring some wholesomeness to this blog.

Just kidding, I'm up to B in my collection.

Bambi is a fawn born in the forest.  He frolics with his mother on the meadow and plays with his friends Thumper, a rabbit, and Flower, a skunk.  Just past his first winter, he learns what tragedy is when his mother is killed by hunters.  Afterwards, he is raised by the Great Prince, a wise but aloof stag, until his antlers come in and he goes forth to seek a mate.  It's not all dancing on puffy clouds, though, as hunting season comes around again.

Watching this makes me want to go back and re-read the book.  I don't think I have ever noticed that Bambi makes a miraculous recovery after being shot and forced to run from the fire.  In the book it's not as abrupt.

Lightyear (2022)

Here's a movie banned in China for one (1) same-sex kiss between two consenting married adults.  Who are animated.  Another one for the Lucy-is-Too-Late files!  We have got to stop using the box office as a metric for success because on paper, this under-performed, which means we're probably not getting a sequel.  It doesn't necessarily need a sequel but it would be a shame if the concept was trashed because people aren't going to theaters.

Buzz Lightyear (Chris Evans) takes being a Space Ranger very seriously.  So seriously that he refuses to ask for help, inadvertently stranding his entire research vessel on a hostile planet.  Desperate to make up for his mistake, Buzz volunteers to test a new fuel, attempting to reach hyperspace.  But due to time dilation he loses four years on the planet every time he goes up, even though it only feels like four minutes to him.  He is a man outside of time, watching as the people he knew as peers grow old, marry, have children, and generally live life.  When the new commander (Isiah Whitlock, Jr.) cancels the program for lack of interest, Buzz snaps, steals a ship, and with the help of his robotic cat, Sox (Peter Sohn), makes one last attempt to crack the fuel formula.  It works, but now there's a new problem.  Buzz is far enough into the future that evil robots are attacking the planet and the only people available are the Colonial Defense Forces:  a weekend warrior named Mo (Taika Watiti), a parolee (Dale Soules), and the granddaughter of Buzz's best friend, Izzy (Keke Palmer), who is afraid of space.  They have no training and no concept of teamwork, but they've got heart.

The movie opens by saying that it is the film Andy from Toy Story watched that inspired him to want a toy based on the main character.  I am not an expert in Toy Story lore and my eyes glazed over trying to read about it on Wikipedia so I'm just going to take it at face value.  Lightyear is a "real" movie that a "real" child saw and liked enough to want a "toy" that had it's own real four-movie saga, and at least 2(?) spin-off TV shows.

The animation is completely stunning.  And best of all, it looks like animation, not creepy photo-realistic uncanny valley human mimicry.  Buzz Lightyear the "human actor" looks like Buzz Lightyear the toy and not like Chris Evans.  I feel like a snake eating my own tail typing all this out.

Anyway, the point of the story is that sometimes you need help and also you can't just sit on the sidelines of life.  It's super cute and there's a cat.  10/10.  Go watch it on Disney+.

Frida (2002)

Here's some Bi rep for Pride month.  You know that feeling when you just don't want to watch anything?  I must have DNF'd a dozen things last week, but good news:  I am back on my bullshit.  Content warning:  miscarriage

Frida Kahlo (Salma Hayek) grew up admiring and being surrounded by art but never considered herself an artist until a major injury and the resulting medical bills forced her to look into the commercial aspects of her "little paintings".  She asks renowned muralist Diego Rivera (Alfred Molina) for his professional opinion and is introduced to major players in the artistic and political spheres.  Their love and mutual admiration are inspirational but Rivera's constant womanizing threatens to come between them.

Unfortunately for this movie, the stench of Harvey Weinstein is all over it.  Director Julie Taymor does an incredible job but there's a skeevy male gaze component that just can't be shaken off.  And it's a shame because Hayek is doing some of the best work of her career in what was obviously a passion project.  Molina is great and there are star turns from Diego Luna and Mia Maestro, as well as powerhouse cameos from Edward Norton, Geoffrey Rush, and Ashley Judd.

Maybe I'll enjoy it more once Weinstein dies.  I like many of Taymor's other works; I love her use of color and how she recreates Kahlo's paintings with the actors.  I just couldn't love this one.  It's currently streaming on Paramount+.

Postcards from the Edge (1990)

Happy Pride Month!  Here's some camp!  This was supposed to go up yesterday but I got sucked in to watching like 7 episodes of Delicious in Dungeon so it didn't.  Content warning:  overdose, alcoholism, discussion of addiction

Suzanne (Meryl Streep) was born into Hollywood royalty as the daughter of legendary actress Doris Mann (Shirley MacLaine) but struggles with substance addiction and finding her own identity outside of her mother's shadow.  A near-fatal overdose sees her career jeopardized and the only way she can be covered by insurance is if she moves in with a responsible adult.  She doesn't know any so she's forced to live with her mother.

Carrie Fisher wrote the screenplay, which was based on her semi-autobiographical novel of the same name.  The movie feels so candid and realistic that it would be easy to omit the semi- part but that does Fisher an injustice as a writer.  She was immensely talented and consistently underrated.

Meryl Streep is Meryl Streep.  There's no praise that hasn't already been heaped on her.  For me, the stand-out of this movie, the star of the show is Shirley MacLaine doing the greatest Debbie Reynolds impersonation I've ever seen.  I was shocked to find out she got very little recognition for this part.  

Fisher, very famously, grew up under the scandal of her father, Eddie Fisher, leaving her mother, Debbie Reynolds, for real-life femme fatale Elizabeth Taylor.  Ironically, another famous cad, Warren Beatty, has his own six-degrees-of-separation in this.  Shirley MacLaine is his sister, his wife Annette Bening has a small role, and his ex-girlfriend Carly Simon did the music.  See, kids, Hollywood used to be so small all the actors had to rotate sexual partners.  You just had to wait your turn.

Shel Silverstein, yes, the same guy, wrote the ending song "I'm Checkin' Out" which got nominated for an Oscar.  Streep performs it in the movie, but Reba McIntyre was tapped for the ceremony and had to go out in front of a live audience and sing after learning her entire band had died in a plane crash.

We're talking Layers of Drama in and around this movie.

I caught this on the very last day it was streaming on the Criterion Channel but it's worth a rental if you can't find it anywhere else.

The Fall Guy (2024)

  This was such a fun movie!  But we have got to stop using box office to determine success, because I watched this on my couch instead of in a theater.  

After a terrible accident on set, stuntman Colt Seavers (Ryan Gosling) isn't sure he'll ever be ready to go back.  His confidence is shaken and worse, he lost his chance to be with Jody (Emily Blunt), the girl of his dreams.  But a frantic call from a producer, Gail (Hannah Waddingham), telling him that Jody's new movie is in trouble and begging him to come back gets him off the couch and back in the game.  Except Jody didn't know anything about it.  Gail manipulated him so he could double for the movie's missing star, Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor-Johnson).  Colt has to find Ryder, patch things up with Jody, solve a murder, and be the best stuntman he can possibly be.

I laughed so hard throughout this entire movie.  It has everything.  Meta commentary, insane stunts, perfectly cast roles, good dialogue, a very good dog, and hyper-competent people doing their extremely specialized jobs.  Director David Leitch used to be a stuntman and it shows.  He has always had an eye for action sequences and it is on full display here.  

If there is a weakness, it's that the movie is trying really hard to say "Fuck the Academy, We Don't Need Them" while caping for a Stunt Ensemble category.  There is not one, but two end credit songs about how cool stunt people are and how they do this incredibly dangerous job with no recognition.  For the record, I also think there should be a category to recognize stunts and voice acting, especially with the rise of full CGI films and mo-cap.  But I am not in charge of things.  

Anyway, this is a super fun summer popcorn film and you should go see it.  It's basically if Ryan Gosling's Ken got a spin-off movie with explosions and karate.  I went ahead and bought it because the digital release has 20 extra minutes of mayhem.