Catherine (Margot Robbie) grew up with Heathcliff (Jacob Elordi) in that weird, English caste system where she had status and he did not. Upon learning that her father (Martin Clunes) has wasted all the family money on alcohol, Catherine sets her eyes on her rich neighbor, Edgar (Shazad Latif), which infuriates Heathcliff in that mediocre-white-dude-who-has-never-had-to-reckon-with-social-status kind of way. He disappears for multiple years, has a glow-up, and comes back specifically to terrorize and punish Cathy for her perceived lack of regard.
These are the most toxic people you have ever seen and they are exhausting. Emerald Fennell has been on my shitlist ever since she tripped over her dick with Promising Young Woman and this has not redeemed her. I don't mind loose adaptations of literature, but this is Cliff's Notes turned fan fiction. You, madam, are no Guillermo del Toro. I said good day.
It somehow manages to be both incredibly horny and the most deeply unsexy thing I have ever seen. Horrendous. Granted, I don't think Elordi is particularly attractive as a human specimen but he is done no favors as a petulant stalker. Robbie actually enjoys "uglying" beautiful women and that's fine.
Costumes, production design, cinematography are all gorgeous, which only throws the godawful script into sharper focus. Also, there are only two POC actors in this and one is played as a total sap and the other a spiteful jade. This does not feel like "color-blind" casting; more like "I don't see color" racism.
I didn't even like Crimson Peak all that much but I'd watch it every day and twice on Sundays before I'd even walk by this movie again. Avoid.
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