This movie is only 45 minutes long but it manages to have about 7 musical numbers, which is kind of impressive. It's set in rural Mexico and, surprisingly enough for the times, almost all of the cast is Hispanic. It's about a woman named Cholita who returns to her family hacienda after some time living in the capital. Her family is all excited because she's supposed to marry local good guy Jose, but instead, shows up with some radio nancy-boy named Fernando. So Jose hatches a plot to pretend to be a bandit, scare the interloper, and kidnap the girl until she loves him again. It doesn't work, but Cholita finds out that her new beau is a gold-digger and dumps him anyway. The comic relief does rely heavily on the stereotype of the perpetually sleepy dumb guy in a poncho and his equally stupid slap-happy friend but they can mostly be ignored. And it's in glorious Technicolor.
This one manages to have both horrible stereotypes of blacks and Asians. It's about two guys on crew club in college who have just discovered that their star rower got drafted right before the big race. So they find themselves a ringer, in the form of some big dumb truck driver and commit academic fraud in order to win a race. Even to the point of obstructing justice by impeding (and mildly concussing) a law enforcement official so he can't arrest the ringer, who happens to be an escaped bank robber. To win a RACE. This is one of those things that has always simultaneously fascinated and repulsed me about the Sport culture. I don't get it, and I don't think I ever will. It's a game. Ultimately, it doesn't matter who wins. And yet, people risk life and limb over this crap. That's amazing to me.
This might as well be the sequel to the above movie. It's got three of the same cast members, two of them didn't even bother to change names. This time it's a murder mystery, though it's really more like "somebody gets shot and this idiot does everything he can to stick his nose in it". The local radio diva gets popped during rehearsal and pretty much everyone has a motive. The local police are always a couple of steps behind a page and his friend, the janitor (three guesses as to which one he is in the poster). Frankie, the page, is trying to solve the murder so he can impress the new receptionist which seems fairly standard. I judge my prospective mates by how they do guessing whodunit during Law & Order reruns. Anyway, the killer gets caught and everybody is happy. Apart from the people who got shot. Their day was pretty much ruined.
This was an Oscar nominated film, for Best Musical Score at the 17th Annual Academy Awards and lost to Cover Girl, starring Rita Hayworth and Gene Kelly. It's about a guy who makes his big debut as the star of a minstrel show, meanwhile his beloved wife dies in childbirth. He blames himself and leaves the baby with his two friends to raise while he gambles internationally for five years. He shows back up only to have his friend's wife tell him to GTFO for being a deadbeat. He goes to Cuba but can't stand the idea of doing all the songs that remind him of his dead wife. During a fortuitous shipwreck (not the same one), he seizes the chance to reinvent himself. He lives in complete obscurity until his daughter decides to star in a revival of his debut musical. Then he shows up to meet her, on stage, in full makeup, during her big break. This is possibly the worst introduction of an absent father that could be arranged. The only way it could be worse would be if he had pushed her into the orchestra pit and just taken over.
This is another old movie glorifying fraud. Young Judy is an aspiring songwriter who is about to be a homeless songwriter. She gets a rejection notice from a big shot, Paul Hale, and decides not to take that shit laying down. She immediately bleaches the letter, except for the signature, and retypes it giving herself free reign of Hale's apartment. Through lying her cute face off, she manages to get her songs heard by a radio sponsor, cajoles a notoriously cagey and hot lyricist into a partnership, and even gets his ex-girlfriend (and current paramour of Paul) to sing them on the radio. Everything is going swimmingly until the poor bastard gets word of what's going on. This is a musical, so instead of getting arrested or even called out for her shenanigans, the lyricist steps in and paints Paul into a corner during a live broadcast, so he can either take the humiliation privately or risk looking like an asshole. We're never told what Paul did to be treated so badly. Presumably, he ate live kitten sandwiches or something.
So this is the story of a drunk songwriter who ruins his career to promote his girlfriend, a faded actresss, as a radio star who then almost ruins her career salvaging his. But who gives a shit about that? This is the LAST movie in the collection. I'm free! I'm freeeee!!!!/does victory lap around living room
/eye falls on cellophane wrapped box of 50 Mystery Films on the shelf
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, you know what, they can wait until next year.
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