Okay, real talk time. If this movie hadn't taken twelve years to make, nobody would be talking about it. On a technical level, yeah, it's impressive that Richard Linklater was able to put together a script and a cast and keep everyone coming back to shoot a couple of scenes a year until he could tell the story he wanted. No one is denying that. My problem is that for all of that effort, it's an incredibly boring story. Like "watching a neighbor's home videos of their kid for three hours" boring.Mason (Ellar Coltrane) is a kid growing up with divorced parents. He and his sister (Lorelei Linklater) live with their mom (Patricia Arquette) in Texas, while their dad (Ethan Hawke) visits from whatever job he has at the time. The film follows him through his childhood all the way until he goes off for college.
Total fucking snoozefest. Why the fuck would anyone volunteer to watch someone else's kid grow up? Is this designed for aliens? So they know our life cycle? Is...is Richard Linklater an alien? Is that why he makes movies, to beam back to his home planet?
Oh my God.
It all makes sense now. The Before trilogy (Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Before Midnight) were to teach his alien brethren about relationships, Dazed and Confused and Slacker were PSAs about drugs and School of Rock...
Admittedly, that's where it breaks down but I think I'm on to something here.
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