None of the Ninja Turtle movies are great, but this one has got to be the dumbest as far as plot goes.April O'Neil (Paige Turco) is trying to cheer the turtles up by bringing them flea market finds when she accidentally transports herself back in time to feudal Japan with a magic lantern. (Told you it was stupid.) In her place is transported Kenshin (Henry Hayashi), the rebellious son of Lord Norinaga (Sab Shimono). The turtles get the bright idea to go after April by transporting four random people who just so happened to be handling the magic lamp at the same time. They find themselves caught in the middle of a battle between Norinaga, the rebels, and an opportunistic English arms dealer (Stuart Wilson).
Seriously, this is one of the dumbest movies that ever got made. It makes no logical sense on any level, especially once you start thinking about the time travel aspect. My advice: don't. Don't think about it and don't watch this movie. Unless maybe your life isn't complete without seeing Elias Koteas in a grubby pirate shirt and bad English accent. In that case, maybe reevaluate your priorities and goals. You're better than this. Just believe in yourself and you can achieve great things. Tell yourself that you deserve more than a shitty three-quel literally no one asked for, and know that it is true.
I pretend this movie doesn't exist, it is easier that way.
ReplyDeleteAgreed.
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