Saturday, April 15, 2023

The Storm Warriors (2009)

  Hey, remember back in 2012 when I watched a movie called The Storm Riders and hated it?  There's an even shittier sequel!

A Japanese warlord named Lord Godless (Simon Yam) has invaded China and imprisoned all the most renowned martial artists.  The greatest of them, Nameless (Kenny Ho), stages a prison break and a handful escape, including our old buddies Wind (Ekin Cheng) and Cloud (Aaron Kwok).  Realizing they are going to need more training if they are going to defeat Lord Godless, they flee to the domain of Lord Wicked (Tak-Bun Wong).  Wicked cut both his arms off rather than become evil and chooses to only train Wind, as his more gentle demeanor will keep him from succumbing to the desire for power.  Cloud, snubbed again, heads back to Nameless to train.  Meanwhile, Lord Godless has taken the emperor (Patrick Tam) and forced him to show Godless the secret Dragon Tomb where the power of China resides.  

Half this movie was a training montage.  And it's the better half.  

This wanted to be 300 so bad.  And it could have been really cool!  The concept isn't bad, the performances are sincere, costumes, makeup, and choreography are all good.  But the over-reliance on CGI for backgrounds, the extreme slo-mo shots, and sepia color palette scream rip-off.  

It's currently streaming for free on the Roku Channel.

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