The Guest (2014)

  I wasn't expecting to like this so much but it's a fun little slasher with 80s throwback overtones.

The Peterson family lost their son Caleb in the military, so when a man named David (Dan Stevens) shows up at their home purporting to be a friend of Caleb's, they welcome him.  Mom (Sheila Kelley) has no questions but everyone else is a little more cautious.  David is friendly and helpful, a problem-solver, and soon puts everyone but daughter Anna (Maika Monroe) at ease.  Anna does some digging into David's background which sets off alarms at a private military facility.  

It was marketed as a thriller, not as horror, but it's definitely the same vein as Halloween.  It's even set during Halloween.  Honestly, this was like a breath of fresh air for someone who's seen the classics too many times.  It's by the same team behind You're Next, which was also very fun.  It's a little skeevy with regard to the female characters which takes some points off for me, but Stevens and Monroe are both very good in it.  It's worth a watch and is currently streaming on Netflix.

Spring (2014)

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day!  Awww, it's a love story!  With monsters!

After a series of personal tragedies, Evan (Lou Taylor Pucci) decides to take a trip to Italy.  He is melancholy and at loose ends until he meets Louise (Nadia Hilker), a beautiful biochemistry student who is very much not interested in a relationship.  Evan's openness and honesty win her over against her better judgment, but time is not on Louise's side.  

This is like the spiritual opposite of Midsommar and would actually make a great double feature.  In fact, you could do a whole Year of Horror with Spring, Midsommar, Trick'r'Treat, and Krampus.  That would be a hella fun night.

Benson and Moorehead are rising stars in horror and I look forward to seeing their other works based on the strength of this debut.  The script is sharp, I like the mix of science and magic, and it's a really fun overall experience.  It's currently streaming on Tubi and IMDbTV.

Big Bad Wolves (2012)

  I wouldn't necessarily call this horror, more of a psychological thriller, but I guess that's close enough for government work.

Micki (Lior Ashkenazi) is an Israeli police officer on the trail of a serial killer.  He's pretty sure it's a school teacher named Dror (Rotem Keinan) but after a video of "enhanced interrogation" goes viral, Micki is forced to cut the suspect loose.  He has a plan, though.  He'll just kidnap Dror and force a confession.  Only one problem: the father of the latest victim, Gidi (Tzahi Grad), has the same idea.  Now Micki and Dror find themselves both at the mercy of a man willing to go to extreme lengths to get vengeance.

This reminded me of M and also Hard Candy.  The film does a good job of eliciting sympathy and suspicion in equal measure even if it doesn't offer any decent resolution.  It's billed as a black comedy and I guess the idea of two people kidnapping the same guy to torture information out of him is kind of funny but I wouldn't say it's filled with dark humor.  But I could just be jaded.

Anyway, it's currently streaming on Amazon.  Totally worth watching if you're in the mood for a thriller with low gore and high suspense.

Thale (2012)

  Today's horror comes from Norway!

Two crime scene techs, Elvis (Erlend Nervold) and Leo (Jon Sigve Skard), are cleaning out the house of a dead man when they find a secret room in the basement.  Inside, they find a mute woman (Silje Reinåmo) and a bunch of cassette tapes detailing her past.  They immediately call it in and settle in to wait for backup.  The girl doesn't seem dangerous, just weird, but as they listen to the tapes, they slowly start to realize how weird.

This was refreshing on a number of levels.  No sexual assault!  Any other movie with a naked girl in a hidden basement room it would be a given, but not here.  In fact, Thale's nudity is not lingered on or male gaze-y.  She happens to be naked but it's not treated as titillating.  Wholesome!  It's low-budget with only about four speaking roles but it never feels cheap.  The CGI on the monsters is a little dodgy but the movie saves the close-up shots for when they'll do the most good so it still works.  New mythological creatures!  Well, to me at least.  Meet the Hulda, Scandinavian forest spirits like a mix between dryads and succubi.  Yay!

It's not super gory and there aren't a lot of jump scares.  It's just a nice, atmospheric, rural horror with a good story and few, if any, cheap tropes.  Currently streaming on Tubi.

A Monster in Paris (2011)

See, this is why I didn't want to try 31 days.  Two in and I've already fucked it up.  

  Last year I didn't include any animated or horror-comedies but this year sucks so we're throwing everything in the basket.  A Monster in Paris is cute, family-friendly animation that is perfect for low-stress Halloween viewing.  

Delivery driver Raoul (Adam Goldberg) is showing off to his best friend Emile (Jay Harrington) when he accidentally mixes two potions and turns an ordinary flea into a giant.  The monster (Sean Lennon) runs into cabaret singer Lucille (Vanessa Paradis), who is impressed by his voice and names him Francoeur.  Things would be good if the Prefect of Police (Danny Huston) weren't looking for a suitable distraction from his mishandling of the recent floods.  He seizes upon the idea of a monster hunt, assigning his best inspector (Bob Balaban) to investigate.  Now Raoul, Emile, Lucille, and Francoeur must outwit the Parisian police to find a happily ever after.

I would have liked to have seen this in its original French but the English dub isn't bad.  It's currently streaming on Tubi and IMDb TV, both of which are free with ads.  I am more familiar with Tubi, so that's what I went with.  Their ad breaks aren't as intrusive as some of the other free streamers.

Girls Against Boys (2012)

  Well, I guess they couldn't all be winners.  It didn't help that my first three choices were no longer available (except for money) so even picking this one felt very much like standing in front of my fridge waiting for my standards to lower enough to find something to eat.

Shae (Danielle Panabaker) is assaulted after going out for drinks with a co-worker, Lu (Nicole LaLiberte).  Fortunately (?), Lu is a cop-killing, casually-murdering kind of girl and very quickly sets Shae on the path to vengeance, if not justice.  But when Shae is ready to move on, she discovers Lu isn't so much the let-go type.

Honestly, the biggest crime in this movie is how boring it is.  The first thirty minutes are excruciating and the rest isn't much of an improvement.  Shae is basically a pin-up doll with a gun while Lu falls into the insulting trope of "jealous lesbian."  It's lazy and homophobic.  The writing is lackluster, there are no surprises and no thrills to be had.  Even the deaths are boring and unoriginal.  

This is the stale Pop-Tart of horror films.  You can do better.  But if you're just standing in front of that fridge, it's streaming on Hulu.  Thankfully only for the month of October, then back to obscurity where it belongs.

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)

  You might have guessed by now that I'm not doing my 31 Days of Horror feature this year, seeing as it's Oct 3 and I haven't started.  This year has been hard enough without trying to push myself to watch a movie a day.  I want this to be a hobby not a stressor.  But that doesn't mean I'm not going to watch horror movies.  I love them.

A vampire (Tilda Swinton) tries to get her immortal husband (Tom Hiddleston) to remember his joie de vivre but a sudden visit from her chaotic little sister (Mia Wasikowska) may spoil everything.

It's intensely rare for a film to be so perfectly cast but this is.  Swinton and Hiddleston don't even need makeup to play pale and perfect.  Plus, it has performances from the late Anton Yelchin and John Hurt, as well as a small bit for Jeffrey Wright.

I didn't watch this movie last year for my feature because it's not precisely a horror film.  It's just a vampire film, which is not the same thing to me.  I watched it this year, though, because I frankly need a good vampire film every once in a while.  They soothe me.  And this was like a balm to my weary Gothic little soul.  This basically just reaffirmed my commitment to vampirism as a way of life.  Honestly, creatures of the night, hit me up.  I'd be so good at it.  Like, I would be an okay werewolf but I would rock the shit out of being a vampire.

Only Lovers Left Alive is currently streaming on Starz, which I get through Amazon Prime.