The Brothers Grimm (2005)

  This is still a terrible movie.  You know how sometimes you watch something and it sucks, but then you go back and watch it again and it's at least funny the second time?  Didn't happen here.

I remember seeing this when it came out, not in theaters but on HBO or something, when I was living in Georgia.  I thought it was awful.  Bad CGI, a ridiculous plot, and hammy overacting from everyone involved.  I remember thinking "What the fuck is Monica Belucci doing here?  She's better than this." 

After being suckered by a charlatan over 'magic beans' as children, Will (Matt Damon) and Jake (Heath Ledger) Grimm have grown to become massive charlatans themselves.  Their advance team goes in, sets up a place to appear to be haunted, then the brothers ride in, charge and exorbitant fee, and dispel the evil spirit.  This is quite lucrative until they are caught by General Delatombe (Jonathan Pryce).  Facing the gallows for their crimes, the brothers are granted a reprieve if they go to the city of Marbaden and calm the local populace.  Almost a dozen local girls have gone missing and the theory is that a witch is responsible.  But when the brothers arrive, they find that some legends are better left alone.

This movie tried so hard.  It shoehorned in every fairy tale it could think of, bribed actors far above its caliber to be in it, and poured in as much CGI as the frames would hold.  Only to have it flop like a dead fish.  There's no love shown to the fairy tales, no respect to the source material.  They've just been mined ruthlessly for stuff people remember.  A red cloak, a wolf, ravens, children dropping breadcrumbs, a dark forest, a tower.  Without the story, those are just nouns.  I think the real brothers Grimm would be horrified to have their names associated with this.