Machete (2010)

This is my first re-watch since the sequel came out.  I kept meaning to buy it but I never got around to it.  Luckily, I have a copy on the server.  There really isn't a lot more I can add to my original review, except that it holds up surprisingly well to a second watch.  As of three months ago, the third film, Machete Kills in Space, was still on track for production.  I have no idea if it's actually going to happen but I hope it does.  You know I'll be there to see it.  Originally posted 26 Sep 2010:     So I went out on a date last night with a new guy. He suggested we see Machete which automatically earned him mad props.

You may remember this movie as one of the fake trailers from the Planet Terror/Death Proof Grindhouse double feature. Robert Rodriguez took the idea and just ran with it, God bless him. The aesthetic is pure exploitation-film, with lots of bare boobs, hasty cuts, and growled one-liners. And of course, massive amounts of violence.

The message is extremely heavy-handed politically so, if you are on the other side of the immigration debate, you may find yourself irritated or downright offended. The trick is to just brush that aside and let the movie wash over you like seafoam. Otherwise you will miss gems like: Don Johnson as an armed vigilante.

Cheech Marin as an armed priest.

Michelle Rodriguez as an armed taco truck driver.

Jeff Fahey as an armed mullet-wearing lawyer.

and Robert DeNiro as a heavily armed state senator.

Lindsey Lohan makes her triumphant return to the screen as a drugged-out famewhore. What can I say, she's a method actor. There was some minor debate between my date and I about whether she actually got topless for the waterfall threesome scene or if it was a bait-and-switch with a body double. I maintain that I never saw her face and boobs in the same shot. He's willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I'm not sure how much longer it's going to be in theaters. Readers with sharp eyes, this is your mission: Go. See Machete. And then come back and tell me yes or no on the Lohan boobs.