Bank robbers Terry (Billy Bob Thornton) and Joe (Bruce Willis) find more trouble than they asked for when they take depressed housewife Kate (Cate Blanchett) hostage.
This is a cute heist film, even if it is extremely predictable. It's before Willis started really phoning in his roles, too. Keep an eye out for Azura Skye, January Jones, and two of Willis' daughters (Scout and Tallulah) in small roles.
It's currently streaming on HBO Max.
I was searching all over the internet for the original Chinese/Vietnamese version of this but all I could find was a dubbed version so bad I put the entire movie on mute and watched it with English subtitles (which did not match the dubbing in any way, either). It was very annoying.It's available on Peacock but their subtitles cut off on the right side for some reason, so I ended up watching it on Tubi.
Kidane (Ibrahim Ahmed) lives a quiet traditional life herding cattle in the desert outside the city of Timbuktu. An argument with a neighbor over a dead cow turns into a fistfight, then a murder. He must now face the judgment of the corrupt jihadists in control of the city, one of whom (Abel Jafri) has already been making overtures at Kidane's wife, Satima (Toulou Kiki).
The whole point of this movie is "religious fundamentalists are bad" and yeah. It's almost never about religion and almost always about petty people having power over others. I didn't need a whole ass movie to tell me that.
"Visually beautiful" it definitely is, but "searing and brilliant"? I don't think so. It's currently streaming on Tubi with ads or Kanopy with a library card.
Pip (Tony Wager) is just a scrawny marsh boy until he is chosen by noted eccentric Miss Havisham (Martita Hunt) as a playmate for her ward, Estella (Jean Simmons). Bullied and cut down by Estella's sharp tongue, Pip longs to be a gentleman and thus worthy of her regard. At 20, Pip (John Mills), is contacted by a lawyer (Francis L. Sullivan) about a mysterious bequest from an unknown benefactor. He joins the ranks of British gentry, aided and befriended by Henry Pocket (Alec Guinness), learning mostly how to spend money and be useless to society, but finds that money alone isn't going to win Estella's (Valerie Hobson) cold heart.
This is a very good, faithful adaptation of the novel until it isn't. Specifically, the ending is changed to be happier, which is fine. I frankly think it's an improvement on the book. (Which also had an ending change to improve it from the much bleaker original.)
This is not my favorite Dickens adaptation but it is very good and the speaking role debut of Alec Guinness (he was an uncredited extra in a movie from 1934). The film introduces Jean Simmons, but she has credits from two years prior, so this may have just been her biggest role at the time.
It's currently streaming on the Criterion Channel and HBO Max.
I've watched a couple of very thematically heavy films in the last couple of days. Sue me if I want something fun and stupid as a break.
Anthony (Anthony Hopkins) has dementia and he's the only one who doesn't know it. His daughter, Anne (Olivia Colman), does her best to cope with his increasing paranoia and mood swings but there's only so much she can do.
This is a much better film than I thought it would be going in. I knew from the Oscar clips that it was going to be depressing as fuck, but it's extremely watchable nonetheless. It's cleverly written and shot from Anthony's perspective, so you can also feel like you're losing your mind. Fun! Now, you would think the pairing would be Still Alice, but I think it's too similar, so you should double feature this with Amour instead. And then call your grandparents if they're still living, Jesus, fuck.
Look, being a caregiver is excruciating and thankless. It's horrible to watch someone you love decline before your very eyes, especially if they can't see that you're there to help them. If you've never had to experience that, this movie can give you a window. If you have, you don't need to watch this. Which is good, because it's still only available for rent through Vudu or Netflix disc.
God, this movie was so boring. Great soundtrack, though.
Charlie (Mickey Rourke) wants to be a good person. But he has a soft spot for his immature cousin Paulie (Eric Roberts), even when Paulie's bad decisions blow back on him. Case in point: after Charlie is fired from managing a restaurant for turning a blind eye to Paulie's thievery, Charlie still backs Paulie when the latter tells him about an easy score. Paulie knows a trucking company that holds its cash deposits in an old safe over the weekend, and sure enough, a decent safecracker can open it. What Paulie doesn't mention, however, is that the safe and the trucking company belong to Bed Bug Eddie Grant (Burt Young), a local mobster. Now Charlie has to do enough thinking for the both of them in order to get out alive.
I hated nearly every minute of this movie. I hated the hammy, stereotypical characters, the glacial pacing, and complete lack of resolution. The only thing I didn't hate was Geraldine Page as the mother of one of the crooked cops. She was a powerhouse and totally wasted in this film. There are great mob movies. There are great heist movies. This is neither. But I will say this is the youngest (and dumbest) I've ever seen Eric Roberts. It's currently streaming on HBO Max but do not waste your time on it.
This biopic follows boxer Muhammed Ali (Will Smith) as he rises from an unknown to Heavyweight Champion of the World at 22, only to be stripped of his title for refusing the Vietnam War draft, the legal battles up to the Supreme Court, and multiple attempts to regain the Heavyweight belt.
This would be a good companion piece to One Night in Miami. It's less of a boxing movie and more about the internal struggles of a man trying to carve his own place in a world desperate to use him. Jamie Foxx puts in a great performance as Ali's ringside hype man, and there are great supporting turns from Mykelti Williamson, Giancarlo Esposito, Mario Van Peebles, and Nona Gaye. Jon Voight is damn near unrecognizable in makeup as Howard Cosell, and it's obvious Will Smith studied Ali extensively to get the mannerisms, the voice, and the expressions down.
Michael Mann is a great director and he paired here with Emmanuel Lubezki, an excellent cinematographer, to create a truly timeless portrayal of an icon. It's currently streaming on Amazon Prime or for free on Peacock with ads (if you have a subscription to Peacock, there is an ad-free version).
Claire (Jennifer Aniston) struggles in the aftermath of a suicide in her chronic pain support group. Despite never being close to Nina (Anna Kendrick) when she was alive, Claire now sees her everywhere as she contemplates taking her own life.
Living with constant pain is exhausting. Physical, emotional, it's all the same. It's a burden you can't put down, because if you do, you're just transferring that burden to someone else.
Jennifer Aniston doesn't play very many unlikeable characters but I'm happy to see her branching out into more of them later in her career. This movie in fact has an incredibly stacked cast for how indie it is. It was pretty clearly awards bait but I'm not going to hold that against it. I actually enjoyed this movie. It didn't feel pandering or overly sentimental. It will not be for everyone, however, and that's okay.
Cake is currently streaming on Amazon Prime, or for free on Tubi with ads.
You might have guessed that the theme of the weekend was werewolves. I wanted to show a couple of the less well-known (but still highly regarded) films to further Bethany's horror experiences. We watched The Howling in between, but I've already reviewed that one.
This is a made-for-TV movie that I saw sometime in the mid-90s. It is a surprisingly decent werewolf movie.
What do you do when you have a prison full of overpowered supervillains? If you're Amanda Waller (Viola Davis), you slap an explosive to the back of their skull and send them out to do your bidding as Task Force X, aka the Suicide Squad, and take 'the greater good' to its most Orwellian level. Like sending a group of them to Corto Maltese, a small South American island and current home of the Thinker (Peter Capaldi), to investigate something known only as Project Starfish. Two teams, one led by Rick Flagg (Joel Kinnerman) and the other reluctantly by Bloodsport (Idris Elba), infiltrate the island only to discover that Project Starfish is actually Starro the Conqueror, an alien who feeds on people's consciousness. The disparate members must cooperate if they are to have a chance at survival.
This was a highly anticipated movie since its announcement. The 2016 version had its moments but it severely underwhelmed the majority of audiences mostly because it didn't know what it was. James Gunn's version suffers from no indecision whatsoever. He knows a thing or two about taking relatively unknown characters and crafting just enough backstory to garner interest in a limited amount of time.
But this is no Guardians of the Galaxy rip-off. For starters, everybody gets to say Fuck, which is great. Even King Shark (Sylvester Stallone). Secondly, almost every character dies. Also great! Because you don't know who will survive* it gives a real sense of anxiety to caring about them. Thirdly, these characters are way more ridiculous. Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney)? So dumb. Weasel (Sean Gunn)? Ludicrous. Polka-Dot Man (David Dastmalchian)? Are you kidding? It is legitimately hard to pick a favorite.
It is fast, it is fun, and a lot of stuff blows up. What more could you ask from a summer film? It's currently available in theaters or streaming on HBO Max until Sep 6.
*you mostly know, based on star power/follow on projects
CW: dead child, dead baby animals, graphic sex (full penetration), genital mutilation, brief torture
After the accidental death of their child, a couple (Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg) go to a cabin in the woods to recover and work through their grief. The husband soon discovers that science and rationality don't really count for a lot in the face of tragedy.
This is billed as a horror movie but it really isn't. Unless you are afraid of women. In which case, maybe. And you should probably get therapy.
Anyway, I hated this. At first, it put me in mind of Midsommar but by the end, it definitely reminded me more of The Witch. If you liked The Witch, hey, good news!
Dafoe and Gainsbourg are game for all the bullshit this movie puts them through and I can't fault them for that even as I actively loathed their characters. The cinematography ranges from gorgeous to interesting to fucking shaky cam. It is very obviously deliberate, which just makes me hate it more. This now makes the second of von Trier's films that I've seen and I am not forming a positive impression of him.
It's currently streaming on the Criterion Channel.
This movie baffled me so much I had to put an open call on Twitter for people to explain it to me.
Brian Moreland (Timothy Hutton) is a cadet at a private military academy. He is looking forward to his senior year when the Commandant (George C. Scott) reveals that the school has been sold and is scheduled to be torn down and turned into condos after the next year. Then a tragic accidental firearms discharge sees the Commandant arrested and the school shut down bumped up to "immediately". Moreland decides to rally the other children, occupy the school, and refuse to hand over the armory until their demands are met.
First of all, I cannot imagine any world where I would be invested so much in a school I'm willing to engage in armed insurrection. And that's the goal here. There's been no travesty of justice, no wrong committed against the students. A private institution was sold in a perfectly legal manner to the chagrin of the minors inhabiting it. This isn't Red Dawn where someone invaded their homeland. This is a spoiled teenager with access to mortars and grenades throwing a tantrum because his school is being closed down before he's ready to let go of it.
I have no idea what audience this movie is for. (The internet's consensus seems to be "teenaged boys in the 80s," a category I am wholly unfamiliar with.) I was in the military and these boys made me want to slap them all with a wet copy of the UCMJ. The only reason I can see to watch this is the cast. It features three very young actors before they became household names: Sean Penn in his debut, Tom Cruise bringing his trademarked insanity intensity to his role of That One Douche Who Takes Everything Way Too Seriously, and Giancarlo Esposito. And maybe to marvel at how many people in Hollywood have had their teeth fixed.
It's currently streaming on Starz, which I have through Amazon Prime. Do not bother.
