People have been trashing this movie left and right. Currently, it is sitting at 25% on rottentomatoes.com and is on track to show a $50 million loss. Disney is probably burning all their Lone Ranger 2 script ideas as I type.And that is a damn shame, because this movie doesn't deserve to be consigned to the bottom of the heap. It has its problems, true, but it's not nearly as bad as critics have been making out.
John Reid (Armie Hammer) is a bright, shiny new prosecutor come home to Colby, Texas. He happens to be traveling on a train also being used to transport known outlaw and suspected cannibal Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner), as well as a crazy Indian with a dead bird on his head. Reid tries to stop the inevitable escape but winds up shackled to Tonto (Johnny Depp) and crashing the train. His brother, Dan (James Badge Dale), who is better in every way, deputizes him as a Ranger anyway and they head off into the canyons to track Cavendish and his men.
Everybody gets shot.
While digging their graves, Tonto is confronted with a pure white spirit horse pawing at John Reid's feet. After trying to convince the horse he really wants to bring Dan back, Tonto gives up and accepts that he is stuck with John as his spiritwalker, the only one who can help him get vengeance for his slaughtered tribe.
This movie was a riot. It was one of the funniest movies I have seen all year. I was so pleased to see William Fichtner getting a major part like this. His villain is superbly creepy. Barry Pepper is almost unrecognizable as the Army cavalry officer behind all that blonde hair, but you'll know Tom Wilkinson's voice immediately. I haven't seen Luther, so I can't really say that Ruth Wilson was amazing but I wouldn't have known she was British if I hadn't looked it up. Also, apparently, she was Princess Betsy in Anna Karenina.
Which brings me to....Armie Hammer. God love that boy. They have been trying like hell to make him as squeaky clean as possible. We get it. He's good-looking, likeable, and has the world's whitest teeth. Between this and Mirror, Mirror, he's so sweet it gives me cavities. I want to see him get down and dirty in a role, not this pretty-boy bullshit. There is just something missing about him, and I think that's it. Ugly him up if you have to, Hollywood, but give me some R-rated Hammer.
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