Drumline (2002)

  Odds are looking pretty grim for me getting to see Whiplash before the Oscar ceremony.  Netflix doesn't have it getting released until Feb 24, two days too late.  But this is almost the same thing, right?  Young drum prodigy is pushed to achieve his fullest potential by an obsessively demanding mentor?  Totally the same movie.

It would have to be an alternate fucking universe for this movie to be nominated for five Academy awards, though.  The plot is a juvenile retread of an already worn-out tale that does nothing to elevate itself.  Nick Cannon contorts his face into various caricatures of expressions and calls it acting while Leonard Roberts glowers non-stop.  This was still very early in Zoe Saldana's career, so she can be forgiven and Orlando Jones is solid, as usual.

Devon Miles (Nick Cannon) is offered a scholarship to a prestigious Atlanta college based on his drumming ability.  Once there, however, the cocky young upstart soon finds himself at odds with his section leader (Leonard Roberts) for his inability to work within a team.  The college president (Afemo Omilami) likes Devon's flair for the dramatic, seeing it as a way to raise flagging alumni interest despite the objections of the band director (Orlando Jones), who wants to focus on musicianship instead of pandering to popular opinion.

Let's face it, nobody is watching this film for its riveting portrayal of college marching band dynamics.  They're watching for the jaw-dropping precision of the final product:  the performances.  And there are some fantastic ones in here.  Unfortunately, they are buried beneath a lead weight of bad acting, bad dialogue, and extraneous scenes that do nothing to further the plot.  Throw this title right on top of the "Avoid At All Costs" pile.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, Best Film Editing, Best Original Score, Best Cinematography, Best Costume Design, Best Hair and Makeup, and Best Production Design    I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this film, considering how indifferent I was to Wes Anderson's last offering, Moonrise Kingdom.  I am generally not a fan of quirk for quirk's sake, but it seemed to work here, conveying the zany low-brow hijinks of high-brow people.  Like an episode of Frasier shot in pastels.

A writer (Tom Wilkinson) is reflecting on having stayed at a once grand resort as a young man (Jude Law) and interviewing the mysterious owner, Mr. Zero Moustafa (F. Murray Abraham) about his life.   Zero started out as a lobby boy (Tony Revolori) at The Grand Budapest in the intermediary period between the World Wars.  His boss and mentor was the legendary M. Gustave (Ralph Fiennes), a highly cultured concierge who had a thing for wealthy ancient widows.  One such venerable lady (Tilda Swinton) wills him a very valuable painting, pissing off her son, Dmitri (Adrian Brody), who hates M. Gustave.  Dmitri sends his goon, Jopling (Willem Dafoe) to recover the painting by any means necessary.

There is a lot more running around than that but you get the gist.  In fact, there's so much going on in this movie that I'll probably have to watch it several more times in order to get all the jokes.

This is the second score Alexandre Desplat is nominated for (the other is The Imitation Game) and I think this might be the better one.  Production Design and Cinematography are both excellent.  The whole movie feels like a frosted cake.  Compared to its other nominees for Costume and Makeup, I don't feel like it's a winner, but both aspects are well done.  The only way this movie is winning Best Picture or Best Director is if the other ballots are equally divided between Boyhood and Birdman.

Selma (2014)

Nominated for Best Picture and Best Original Song    More than any other film nominated this year, Selma has sparked controversy.  Coming on the heels of riots in Ferguson, Missouri, as well as media focus and backlash on the treatment of black suspects by white police officers, there was no denying that this movie was a timely reflection of our past and present. 

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (David Oyelowo) is getting no real traction with the Equal Rights movement, despite the historic march on Washington, D.C.  His meetings with President Lyndon B. Johnson (Tom Wilkinson) aren't providing any progress and, unbeknownst to him, the FBI is tracking his every move, even going so far as to harass his family with vaguely threatening phone calls.  Dr. King decides to have a march from Selma, AL to the state's capital in Montgomery in order to raise awareness of the lack of voting rights and Jim Crow laws preventing African Americans from participating in their legal voting process.  Standing in his way is Alabama governor George Wallace (Tim Roth) and a century of oppression.

I wish I could say this was the Best Picture of the year.  Unfortunately, I think the hype surrounding its snub from the Best Actor and Best Director categories can only hurt its chances.  It is a good movie, but it is just a little too close in casting to Lee Daniels' The Butler from last year.  David Oyelowo does a phenomenal job in looking and sounding like Martin Luther King, but that's not enough to make up for the fact that the plot is trying to pull together too many elements instead of focusing on just one or two.

Drowning Mona (2000)

  Mona Dearly (Bette Midler) was not well-loved.  So when her Yugo plunges off a cliff into the river, the entire town is ready to pop the champagne.  But Sheriff Rash (Danny DeVito) doesn't believe that Mona's death was an accident.  He starts investigating and discovers numerous people wanted the caustic matriarch dead, including her husband (William Fichtner) who is having an affair with a local waitress (Jamie Lee Curtis), her son (Marcus Thomas) who is business partnered with Rash's soon to be son-in-law, Bobby (Casey Affleck).  As suspicion and fear worm their ways through the town, old secrets of all kinds begin to emerge.

This is almost exactly like the 2011 critical favorite Bernie, except that its not based on a true story.  Drowning Mona is also presented much more as a mystery comedy, even though the culprit is telegraphed almost immediately.  I generally find that boring, but it had enough comedy between the characters that I didn't want to just hit fast forward to the credits.  The weakest link is probably Neve Campbell, whose effervescent schoolgirl routine fell flat for me.

This is definitely a mid-range comedy, the kind that comes on late at night on family cable networks like USA.  I can't imagine buying it but it didn't make me want to throw myself off a cliff, so there's that.

Ida (2013)

Nominated for Best Foreign Film and Best Cinematography

"Ida (2013 film)" by Source (WP:NFCC#4). Licensed under Fair use via Wikipedia.

That might be the first (and possibly only) time I've ever actually sourced a poster.  Usually, I just drag and drop but I'm on a different computer right now so I had to use HTML.  

Anyway, this is my first foray into the Oscar's foreign film selections this year.  This is probably my second favorite category, behind Best Animated Film.  I always find it interesting which films are submitted by their respective countries.  For some reason, I find foreign dramas more palatable than American ones.  Maybe because so many American films fall into melodramatic tropes rather than just telling a story.  

Anna (Agata Trzebuchowska) is a novitiate, or nun-in-training, at a convent in Poland where she has lived since being placed there as an orphaned baby.  She is due to take her final vows in a week, when the Mother Superior (Halina Skoczynska) delicately informs her that she has a living relative, an aunt, and that Anna should probably go visit her before making a life-altering decision.  Anna agrees, despite her reservations against seeing a woman who refused to claim her.  Her aunt, Wanda (Agata Kulesza), is a judge under the socialist government in place after WWII.  She is also a bitter, chain-smoking alcoholic who is not terribly thrilled to see that her niece is a staunch Catholic.  See, Anna's birth name is Ida Lebenstein and she's Jewish.  That would be enough of a bombshell for anyone, but Wanda goes on to tell her that her parents were murdered by Nazis and no one knows where they are buried.  Ida née Anna must then decide who she is and who she wants to be.

Netflix referred to this movie as "understated," which translates to boring for the vast majority of people.  It is subtitled, filmed entirely in black and white, and concerns themes of grief, identity, and self-determination.  I don't want to scare anyone off the film, because I found it very accessible, but I think you should know all of this before going in.  

On a side note, it's nice to see the Academy finally moving beyond their obsession with WWII.  Yes, this does still tangentially reference the Nazi occupation, but it is set twenty years later and doesn't feature so much as a flashback.  This allows so much more freedom to deal with the long-term psychological effects of war, not just the immediate trauma.  Wanda is scarred by her experiences, burdened by grief and anger.  Ida is aware of this but cannot intuit enough to be sympathetic simply because she lacks commiserate experience.  How can she mourn people she never met?  She knows that what happened to her parents was tragic but she cannot feel their loss the way Wanda can.  But, the more she is around her aunt, the more she can imagine what her family would have been like, forging a connection to a past she never knew she had.  

Typically, I concern myself with stories and characters and not the technical aspects of film-making.  I just don't know enough about it to feel comfortable passing more than the most general of judgments.  I will say that the cinematography did jump out at me due to the fixation of the action towards the bottom of the screen.  There were vast amounts of white space arching over the heads of the characters, especially Ida, and it kept making me wonder why.  Was it conveying saintliness?  An openness of spirit?  Emotional blankness?  I couldn't decide.  But I did notice and it did make me think, so maybe that's the point.  Again, I'm not technical so I can't say with any certainty.

Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

  This is one of those comedies that just gets better with age.  For instance, when I first saw this back in 2005 or 2006, I had no idea who Amy Adams was, so I never noticed her in this movie.  Seeing it again, I am pleasantly surprised to find her there, like she just snuck in at some point in the last decade.

A documentary crew travels to a small Minnesota town to do a piece on the levels within a national beauty pageant by filming local candidates.  Among these hopefuls is unassuming sweetheart Amber Adkins (Kirsten Dunst).  Amber wants to be a newscaster like her idol, Diane Sawyer, and hopes to win a scholarship.  But she faces stiff competition from the town's reigning princess, Rebecca Leeman (Denise Richards), whose mother (Kirstie Allie) is running the pageant and whose father (Sam McMurray) practically runs the town.  The documentary crew also catches footage of strange accidents that seem to befall some of the contestants, and begin to think that a more sinister conspiracy is afoot.

This is one of those movies that I never think about buying when I'm out, but that I kind of wish I owned.  If only because it is so hard to find a good mockumentary.  Everything in this film is pitch perfect, from the main performances down to the smallest part.  Allison Janney is amazing and if you only know Mindy Sterling as Frau Farbissina from the Austin Powers movies, you really need to check her out here.

Virunga (2014)

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature    I know that the documentaries are going to either make me really sad or really angry.  This was a little of both.  Parts of this film are so breathtakingly lovely they could have been lifted from National Geographic.  Then there are shots of utter brutality against animals and innocent civilians just trying to make a living.  This dichotomy seems symbolic of the region as a whole.

Virunga National Park in the Democratic Republic of Congo is the last known habitat for mountain gorillas in the world.  The park has been doing well since a peace agreement halted the on-going civil war, opening up for tourism and raising awareness of the natural beauty that is at risk.  The park's rangers risk life and limb fighting against poachers of elephant ivory, lion skins, and baby gorillas being sold on the black market.  There is a refuge/rehabilitation area for orphaned gorillas, staffed by volunteers who care for these animals as if they were family.  In 2013, a British oil company called SOCO began sending representatives (read:  mercenaries) into the park as a precursor to assay for oil.  While they have publicly stated that their aim is not to destabilize the region, this documentary uses hidden cameras to meet with several SOCO representatives to learn that they are obliquely funding rebel groups and leveraging corrupt officials to revoke the park's protected status.

I tend to not make calls to action but I really do believe in the conservation of endangered species.    The documentary is streaming on Netflix, so you can check it out for yourself.  If, after that, you'd like to donate to the park, please go to www.virunga.org/donate.  One day, after we've reached the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes stage, maybe this kindness will be repaid.

Driving Miss Daisy (1989)

  Sometimes people ask me why I watch all the nominees for each category, instead of just the winners.  I think it's important to see the winners in context, because sometimes the Academy is retarded.  Take this movie for example, which was declared Best Picture of 1989.  There's nothing wrong with it, but when you compare it to its fellow runners-up, you wonder what the hell people were thinking.

If I said Born on the Fourth of July, you'd say "That movie was so controversial.  People talked about that for years."

Field of Dreams.  "Oh my God, I can watch that over and over."

Dead Poets Society.  "Robin Williams was amazing!"

My Left Foot.  "Isn't that the one with Daniel Day Lewis?"

All four of those movies could be argued as having more of a lasting impact than Driving Miss Daisy.  Sure, hindsight is 20/20 and it's probably a crapshoot to try and determine what is going to be a classic while it's happening, but I think you could make a strong case that any of the other movies would have been a better choice.

Boolie Werthen (Dan Ackroyd) decides to hire his mother (Jessica Tandy) a chauffeur after she crashes her car into a neighbor's yard.  His mother strongly objects but Boolie is insistent.  He hires Hoke Colburn (Morgan Freeman), an even-tempered easy-going man to deal with his mother's temper.  While resistant at first, the old lady eventually starts to warm to her new employee and over the course of a quarter century, they become friends despite their different social circumstances.

Like I said, there's nothing wrong with the movie but there's just not a lot to it.  I'd be amazed if anyone even remembered that it won Best Picture as well as Best Actress, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Makeup.

Drive Angry (2011)

This movie really is the perfect break from Oscar season.  After the real-life trauma of American Sniper, I really needed some good, old-fashioned brain candy.  You'll note in the forthcoming few posts that I have continued to do this as the Oscar nominees seem determined this year in particular to destroy me.  So there will be an Oscar nominated film, and then something suitably fluffy and innocuous.

This is now the second time I have seen Drive Angry and I fully expected to come to my senses.  Surely, it couldn't have been as entertaining as I obviously originally found it.  I was wrong.  It's still ridiculous fun.  Still ridiculously, gratuitously violent.  And William Fichtner is still a joy to behold.  Oh hell yes, I bought this.  On blu-ray even.  What?  Christy doesn't have a patent on owning stupid films.   Originally published:  26 Feb 11    Warning:  Kind of spoilery

So this one isn't going to be nominated for an Oscar any time soon, but even cinephiles like myself need a break.  I will say that it was better than I expected it to be, especially given that it stars Nic Cage (and his hair).

I really expected it to be a crapfest like Ghost Rider but it was surprisingly more so-bad-it's-good than so-bad-I-want-to-destroy-something-beautiful.  I think that's due to the tongue-in-cheek humor of the whole thing, down to the title being from Groundhog Day.  Also, they don't beat you over the head with supernatural effects.  It's handled very quietly, which makes it much more effective.  Although it does seem to borrow heavily from the first season of Supernatural.

The plot of the movie is fairly simple.  John Milton (Cage) is chasing after a cult leader who killed his daughter and plans to sacrifice her baby to Satan in order to bring about Hell on Earth.  He runs into Piper (Amber Heard) who has a sweet ride and a propensity for violence and drags her along.  Milton has a secret which causes him to be pursued by The Accountant (William Fitchner).

The Accountant is easily the most badass character of the movie and will be the main reason I will end up buying this POS.  Plus, I love a good revenant movie.

Side note:  I thought that towards the end, they really beat you over the head with his true nature but maybe that's because I tend to be interested in vengeful spirits.  The girl next to me didn't seem to be burdened with knowledge on the subject so maybe the heavy hand is necessary.

At its heart, this is a movie about cars, supernatural things aside.  There's a '69 Dodge Charger, which even I recognize as being from Vanishing Point, and a host of other beauties.  I don't know shit about cars but I can recognize them in an aesthetic sense and these are beautiful machines.  So if you like cars, naked chicks, lots of violence and you don't mind that the lead performances are weak, you'll probably at least enjoy this movie.  Wait for the DVD though, since it's not something for which you should pay $15 for a 3D "experience".

American Sniper (2014)

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Film Editing, Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing    Ok, so this is the first real contender on my Oscar docket with six nominations.  It was extremely difficult for me to watch and I'm glad I got it out of the way early.

Chris Kyle (Bradley Cooper) starts out as a cowboy, but finds himself at loose ends with no real purpose in his life.  That changes when he sees the aftermath of the hotel bombing in Saudi Arabia, and he decides to join the Navy SEALs.  During SEAL training, he meets his wife, Taya (Sienna Miller).  After 9/11, Chris's team is activated and sent into Iraq.  There, his innate ability as a marksman is honed until he is dubbed "The Legend" by his teammates.  However, the constant pressure and trials of war begin stripping away everything that makes him able to connect with people outside of a rifle scope.

We all have our scars.  Some are on the outside and some we bury deeply.  It takes a great deal of effort to address the darker parts of our nature, the pieces that allow us to do and see terrible things.  Things we wouldn't wish on anyone.  And even more effort to allow other people to see that side of us.  It's so rare that people understand what it means to have faced real combat if they haven't done it themselves.  And, on the one hand, that's good.  You don't want them to have the nightmares that you have, the fear and the sudden rage from that burst of adrenaline triggered by a noise.  A noise that means nothing because you're not over "there" anymore.  But your body can't let it go.  Because not that long ago, that noise meant death for you or your people.  You have trained it into a survival instinct but you don't need it anymore and that's confusing.  And irritating, because now you look like a total lunatic when you say that you don't want to go out and watch the fireworks on the 4th of July because you don't know what will happen and you don't want to be responsible for hurting someone.  You can see the pity and the scorn in their faces because they don't understand why you just can't "get over it" because "you're safe now" like you'll ever feel safe again.  It makes you want to beat the shit out of them and have them live with the threat every day so they know.  So they don't take their lives for granted.  Because every day is a gift.  A gift you sometimes feel you don't deserve because you know somebody paid for it in blood and flesh and shattered dreams.  It feels weak to say that you need help, like you're devaluing that sacrifice, that it would be better if you just kept it to yourself.

It's not a weakness.  People still need you.  They count on you every day.  They need you to be here, to be connected, to feel.  Because you're important.  You have value.  And no amount of scars can take that away.

Ahem.  Well, as for the movie itself, I think it might have a chance in the Sound Mixing and Editing categories.  I did not enjoy the film editing.  I thought there were several scenes that felt shoehorned in and it was not nearly as crisp as it could have been.  I'm a little surprised Bradley Cooper got in the Best Actor field and I don't think he's a frontrunner, but he has been nominated like three years in a row.  As far as Best Picture, it will take a lot to unseat Boyhood as the one to beat.  I haven't seen it yet but it has a lot of momentum.

The Runaways (2010)

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!  This movie has nothing to do with him or his message, unless you want to count an all-girl rock band as striving for equality.      This isn't a bad movie.  I know it has Kristen Stewart in it.  I was surprised too.  It's not a great movie, but it's not bad.  It made me curious about the band, which it was supposed to do and was otherwise competent.

In the late 1970's, teenaged Joan Jett (Kristen Stewart) is tired of being told that "girls don't play electric guitar."  She doesn't want to be Farrah Fawcett, she wants to be a badass.  So when she spots music producer Kim Fowley (Michael Shannon) hanging around her favorite club, she seizes the opportunity to introduce herself.  Fowley is mildly interested and pushes her off onto Sandy West (Stella Maeve), a drummer, and tells them to practice.  He likes their sound but feels like they need more sex appeal, so he recruits jailbait bombshell Cherie Currie (Dakota Fanning) to be the lead singer.  With the addition of Lita Ford (Scout Taylor-Compton) and Robin (Alia Shawkat) the bassist, The Runaways is complete.  They even start to see real success, including a tour to Japan, but Cherie's increasing drug use as well as Fowley's decision to make her the focus of the band's marketing begins to alienate her from the others.

It's a tale at least as old as rock-and-roll.  Balancing all the personalities in a band is a tricky thing and sometimes they just implode.  As always, the music is what is important and the soundtrack to this movie is fantastic.  The movie is a rental, at best.  It depends on how much you enjoy Dakota Fanning and a makeup-wearing, scenery-chewing Michael Shannon.  He is outstandingly despicable in this.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

Nominated for Best Visual Effects    I loved this movie!  I bought it sight-unseen on the strength of its predecessor, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, but I was waiting until I got to R so I could watch them back to back.  I still might do that because neither of these movies is a one-and-done.  They are fantastic blockbusters that also manage to make me care about characters that aren't even real in the sense that they're more than fictional, they also have no proxy except by digital means.  Andy Serkis is so beyond words in terms of describing his talent.  The man deserves more than empty platitudes.  He brought Caesar to life, not just to motion.  He is the beating heart of this film and I wish there was more at stake here than just a Visual Effects Oscar.

After the ravages of the simian flu, Caesar and his tribe have built a home for themselves in the forest outside San Francisco.  There, he and his family can live in peace with the other hyper-intelligent apes.  That is until his son, Blue-Eyes (Nick Thurston), accidentally runs into a group of human survivors.  Violence is narrowly avoided and both groups are thrown into a tizzy of fear.  Koba (Toby Kebbell) argues that the apes should just kill all the humans and be done, but Caesar hesitates.  On the human side, Dreyfus (Gary Oldman) wants to kill all the apes so they'll be safe, but Malcolm (Jason Clarke) disagrees.  He sees a spark of something in Caesar and wants to try diplomacy.  The humans need to pass through the apes' territory in order to jumpstart the hydroelectric facilities and restore their power.

This is beautifully done, and might have made my top 10 list if I had seen it last year.  Thank God for the Oscars' token inclusion of summer crowd-pleasers.  Do I think it will win?  I don't know.  It's facing some stiff competition from Days of Future Past and Guardians of the Galaxy.  I think we can rule out The Winter Soldier but I haven't seen Interstellar, so I have no idea.  It's my front-runner for the time being, though.

Dreamgirls (2006)

Update:  I didn't even really feel like watching Dreamgirls again.  I just wasn't in the mood for a musical.  I put it on mostly for background noise while I was doing other things.  I kept getting sucked in by the performances and the music, though, so about halfway through, I gave up trying to do anything else.  It's such a great film, head to toe.  I think this will be one of those musicals that becomes a classic film.  I can't imagine another cast that could have done a better job with it.
Originally published:  01 Jul 13    I'll end up owning a copy of this one.  It's not that it was particularly moving to me, but it has a great amount of re-watchability.

In early 1960's Detroit, a girl group called the Dreamettes auditions for a local talent competition.  They don't win but do manage to pick up a manager:  a used car salesman named Curtis Taylor, Jr. (Jamie Foxx).  Taylor gets them a job as backup singers for an established R&B performer named Jimmy Early (Eddie Murphy).  He also starts pushing for a more pop-friendly style, angering Jimmy's long-time manager (Danny Glover).  However, the change works and Jimmy starts moving up the charts, eventually headlining at the Crystal Room in Miami, a previously white-only position.  However, Jimmy is found to be too threatening to white audiences, so Curtis focuses on making the renamed Dreams into a star vehicle.  He replaces lead singer Effie White (Jennifer Hudson) with thinner, more commercial Deena Jones (Beyoncé Knowles), infuriating Effie who sees it as a betrayal.  As the 60's come to a close, Curtis is after a "new sound" but will it cost him everything he's built?

How many people forgot that Eddie Murphy used to be considered a great actor?  I did.  It's been a long time since I saw his name on a poster and didn't immediately cringe.  He is amazing here.  I hadn't seen Beyoncé in a movie since Goldmember where she was awful, but she's much improved here.  The music is great, and I'll probably end up getting the soundtrack at some point, but it's not as "musical"-ly as I thought it would be until the second half.  That's when they start singing portions of dialogue at each other.

Dreamcatcher (2003)

  This is not a good movie.  It's pretty terrible, in fact.  I attribute a lot of its suckiness to the original story by Stephen King.  It most likely doesn't have anything to do with the movie, but I really don't like Stephen King's works.  Biased?  You betcha!  But you'll note that my name is at the top of this blog, not some corporation's, and I seriously doubt Stephen King is going to personally track me down and complain that I don't like his work. 

Four childhood friends (Thomas Jane, Damian Lewis, Jason Lee, and Timothy Olyphant), now adults, gather at a remote cabin for a vacation.  Unfortunately, the cabin happens to be in the middle of a quarantine zone.  But this is no mere infection, oh no, this is an alien invasion.  The four men must use the supernatural talents given to them by their other childhood friend, Duddits (Donnie Wahlburg), to defeat both the aliens and the elite military unit, led by Col. Abraham Curtis (Morgan Freeman), called in to eradicate all traces.  Col. Curtis is a little bit too eager to put regular people down like rabid dogs and his second-in-command (Tom Sizemore) starts to become wary of his boss's motives.  

I love all of the actors in this movie but they are so much better than this.  Timothy Olyphant is charming in just about anything, but his character is so grating here.  Ditto for Jason Lee.  I know he's generally the wisecracking sidekick in Kevin Smith movies but that schtick just falls flat.  The only one rising above this horrible script is Damian Lewis, who pulls double duty as Jonesy and an alien parasite.  As for Morgan Freeman...well, he did what he could.

Essentially, this movie boils down to Stand by Me + Slither - all comedy + a lot of ass jokes.  That does not equal an entertaining experience for me, but maybe you like that sort of thing.

Oscar Nominations 2015

It's here! It's here!  The nomination list is here!  And I have got a LOT to see before Feb 22.  Crap.

Best Picture

American Sniper
Birdman
Boyhood
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game
Selma
The Theory of Everything
Whiplash

Best Director

Wes Anderson "The Grand Budapest Hotel"
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu "Birdman"
Richard Linklater "Boyhood"
Bennett Miller "Foxcatcher"
Morton Tyldum "The Imitation Game"

Best Actress

Marion Cotillard "Two Days, One Night"
Felicity Jones "The Theory of Everything"
Julianne Moore "Still Alice"
Rosamund Pike "Gone Girl"
Reese Witherspoon "Wild"

Best Actor

Steve Carell "Foxcatcher"
Bradley Cooper "American Sniper"
Benedict Cumberbatch "The Imitation Game"
Michael Keaton "Birdman"
Eddie Redmayne "The Theory of Everything"

Best Supporting Actress

Patricia Arquette "Boyhood"
Laura Dern "Wild"
Keira Knightley "The Imitation Game"
Emma Stone "Birdman"
Meryl Streep "Into the Woods"

Best Supporting Actor

Robert Duvall "The Judge"
Ethan Hawke "Boyhood"
Edward Norton "Birdman"
Mark Ruffalo "Foxcatcher"
J.K. Simmons "Whiplash"

Best Adapted Screenplay

Paul Thomas Anderson "Inherent Vice"
Damien Chazelle "Whiplash"
Jason Hall "American Sniper"
Anthony McCarten "The Theory of Everything"
Graham Moore "The Imitation Game"

Best Original Screenplay

Wes Anderson and Hugo Guinness "The Grand Budapest Hotel"
Dan Futterman and E. Max Frye "Foxcatcher"
Dan Gilroy "Nightcrawler"
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Nicolas Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris and Armando Bo "Birdman"
Richard Linklater "Boyhood"

Best Foreign Language Film

Leviathan
Ida
Tangerines
Timbuktu
Wild Tales

Best Documentary Feature

CITIZENFOUR
Finding Vivian Maier
Last Days in Vietnam
The Salt of the Earth
Virunga

Best Animated Feature

Big Hero 6
The Boxtrolls
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Song of the Sea
The Tale of Princess Kaguya

Best Film Editing

American Sniper
Boyhood
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game
Whiplash

Best Original Song

"Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie
"Glory" from Selma
"Lost Stars" from Begin Again
"I'm Not Gonna Miss You" from Glen Campbell:  I'll Be Me
"Grateful" from Beyond the Lights

Best Original Score

Alexandre Desplat "The Grand Budapest Hotel"
Alexandre Desplat "The Imitation Game"
Johann Johannsson "The Theory of Everything"
Gary Yershon "Mr. Turner"
Hans Zimmer "Interstellar"

Best Cinematography

Roger Deakins "Unbroken"
Emmanuel Lubezki "Birdman"
Dick Pope "Mr. Turner"
Robert Yeoman "The Grand Budapest Hotel"
Lukasz Zal and Ryszard Lenczewski "Ida"

Best Costume Design

The Grand Budapest Hotel
Inherent Vice
Into the Woods
Maleficent
Mr. Turner

Best Hair and Makeup

Foxcatcher
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Guardians of the Galaxy

Best Production Design

The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game
Interstellar
Into the Woods
Mr. Turner

Best Sound Editing

American Sniper
Birdman
The Hobbit:  The Battle of the Five Armies
Interstellar
Unbroken

Best Sound Mixing

American Sniper
Birdman
Interstellar
Unbroken
Whiplash

Best Visual Effects

Captain America:  The Winter Soldier
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Guardians of the Galaxy
Interstellar
X-Men:  Days of Future Past

Best Live Action Short

Aya
Boogaloo and Graham
Butter Lamp
Parvaneh
The Phone Call

Best Animated Short

The Bigger Picture
The Dam Keeper
Feast
Me and My Moulton
A Single Life

Best Documentary Short

Crisis Hotline:  Veterans Press 1
Joanna
Our Curse
The Reaper
White Earth

Wow.  So there are some serious upsets this year.  Who thought American Sniper had a chance in hell?  And Interstellar must have made too much money because it got relegated to the Visual Effects and Sound Editing categories, which is where the Academy traditionally dumps the blockbusters so they can pretend they are above such trashy entertainment while recognizing that these are the ones that most people have actually seen.  Looks like they are also continuing the trend of snubbing the fuck out of Angelina Jolie's movie.  I was a little surprised Jake Gyllenhaal didn't get a nod for Best Actor but I guess the race is pretty tight this year.  Also, we now live in a world where you have to say "Oscar nominee Steve Carell" but, thankfully, not one where Jennifer Aniston or Channing Tatum are mentioned in the same breath as Robert Duvall and Meryl Streep.

On a personal note, can I say that I am flabbergasted at the exclusion of The Lego Movie from the Best Animated Feature category?  What the actual fuck, Academy?  At least they're recognizing "Everything is Awesome" and I cannot wait for that to be performed during the ceremony.  I am looking forward to watching Song of the Sea, though.  It was done by the same team who did the stunning The Secret of Kells a few years back.  And The Tale of Princess Kaguya looks like it was done completely in watercolor.  It looks beautiful and I'm glad it got a nod.

Well, looks like I better get started loading my Netflix queue and tracking down which films are still in theaters.  It's going to be a busy month.

72nd Annual Golden Globes Awards winners (2015)

Did everyone tune in last night for the Golden Globes?  I know I did!

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted for the second time as a pair.  I thought this go-around fell a little flat but this was not a good week to be light-hearted what with the tragic shootings in Paris, the unrest here at home, and the multiplying allegations against a beloved comedic icon.  It was clear from the audience reactions during their monologue that it is still far too soon for Bill Cosby jokes on national television.  They did manage to resurrect Margaret Cho, though, so good for them.

Plunging necklines seemed to be the order of the day, fashion-wise.  Best of the best was probably Kate Hudson.  Worst dressed for the second year in a row was Lena Dunham.  Someone get that girl a clue.  Maybe Allison Tolman can help her out.  She managed to dress for her size and look completely elegant and appropriate, whereas Dunham looked like a freshly painted barn door.  Red satin is not forgiving.

Men's fashion I usually don't pay much attention to, since they typically just wear a variant on a tux and call it a day but I do want to have a special shout-out to David Oyelowo's sparkly shoes.  They were amazing and I want a pair.

Best Comment of the Night (scripted):  When Amy and Tina blistered George Clooney over his supposed accomplishments in comparison with his wife's.
Best Comment (unscripted):  When Jeremy Renner said what we were all thinking in regards to Jennifer Lopez's barely concealed boobs.
Best Presenter:  Ricky Gervais.  I really want him to host again.  I need that level of malicious snark to go with my self-aggrandizing award shows.
Worst Presenter:  Kevin Hart.  Usually, I like him but he was freakin' irritating, plus he made Salma Hayek look bad and that is a huge faux pas.

But I guess you probably want to know who won the actual awards.

Best Motion Picture - Drama - Boyhood

Best Motion Picture - Comedy - The Grand Budapest Hotel

Best Director - Richard Linklater for Boyhood

Best Actress - Drama - Julianne Moore for Still Alice

Best Actor - Drama - Eddie Redmayne for The Theory of Everything

Best Actor - Musical or Comedy - Michael Keaton for Birdman

Best Actress - Musical or Comedy - Amy Adams for Big Eyes

Best Supporting Actress - Patricia Arquette for Boyhood

Best Supporting Actor - J.K. Simmons for Whiplash

Best Screenplay - Alejandro Inarritu for Birdman

Best Foreign Language Film - Leviathan (Russia)

Best Animated Film - How to Train Your Dragon 2

Best Original Song - "Glory" from Selma

Best Original Score - The Theory of Everything

Best TV Comedy or Musical - Transparent

Best TV Drama - The Affair

Best Actress in a TV Drama - Ruth Wilson for The Affair

Best Actor in a TV Drama - Kevin Spacey for House of Cards

Best Actress in a TV Comedy - Gina Rodriguez for Jane the Virgin

Best Actor in a TV Comedy - Jeffrey Tambor for Transparent

Best Miniseries or TV Movie - Fargo

Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie - Maggie Gyllenhaal for The Honorable Woman

Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie - Billy Bob Thornton for Fargo

Best Supporting Actress in a TV Show, Miniseries, or TV Movie - Joanne Froggatt for Downton Abbey

Best Supporting Actor in a TV Show, Miniseries, or TV Movie - Matt Bomer for The Normal Heart

I was surprised at how many first-time nominees won and even more surprised that Kevin Spacey got his first win out of eight nominations, though possibly not as surprised as he was.  Ruth Wilson seemed the most non-plussed by her win while Amy Adams was the most affected.  Also, now I can say the sentence "I wonder if Golden Globe winner Common will collaborate with Oscar winners Three-Six Mafia" and be completely accurate.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Nominated for:  Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Picture    I finally got around to seeing this little gem from last year's nominations.  It's a good thing, too, because the 2014 crop of hopefuls is being announced this Thursday.  I know I have completely fallen apart on my posting schedule, at least with regards to Mondays, and I appreciate the ones of you who have stuck with me despite my failures. 

Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) took Wall Street by storm using charm, nerve, and a host of illegal measures.  He built a virtual empire for himself and his friends and made more money than he could know what to do with.  He had a beautiful wife (Margot Robbie), houses, cars, a yacht, and a secret Swiss bank account.  And drugs.  So many drugs.  ALL the drugs, in fact.  Until the FBI, in the person of Agent Patrick Denham (Kyle Chandler), began investigating him for securities fraud.  Consumed by paranoia and rampant drug addiction, Jordan spirals down into an inevitable crash.

Martin Scorsese directed this film with an eye towards the absurdity of extreme wealth and handled it with his usual impeccable skill.  DiCaprio is good here, but I wouldn't say great.  I honestly think he gave a better performance in Django Unchained.  Margot Robbie was an incredible find, however, and I am pleased to see that her career is taking off.  She managed to give the character of Naomi --who could have been a stock trophy wife-- so much personality, just through her expressions.  It was absolutely delightful to watch her work.

Most of the movie is hysterically funny, with the only emotional turn coming near the end of the third act.  With a less capable director, that would feel tacked on and false but Scorsese manages to make it almost too real.  I had a friend who grew up in an abusive household who told me that it reminded her too much of her family, to the point where it took her out of the movie.  Without that peek behind the curtain, it would be easy to dismiss this as a drug-fueled crime caper, instead of remembering that this is a memoir.  Jordan Belfort did insane things but he is still a person.  Just a morally bankrupt one.

Son of Dracula (1943)

  This is not the greatest sequel to Dracula, but it is an interesting one.  Horror veteran Lon Chaney took over as the Count and they moved the setting to a Louisiana plantation.  I think they could probably remake this since I haven't seen another vampire film tackle its particular arc before.

Katherine Caldwell (Louise Allbritton) has invited a very special guest to the Dark Oaks plantation.  Count Alucard --yes, really-- (Lon Chaney) is tall, dark and forbidding.  Katherine is committed, however, and immediately breaks her engagement to Frank Stanley (Robert Paige) to marry the Count.  Longtime family friend Dr. Brewster (Frank Craven) notices the Count's name on his luggage and begins to wonder if the accent-less European noble could have anything to do with the 19th Century Count Dracula who supposedly terrorized London.  He calls up a professor (J. Edward Bromberg) and is told that Katherine is in grave danger and it may even be too late to save her.

This was made when Universal was still taking horror properties seriously.  The movie could have benefited from a little more light-heartedness, I think.  It verges dangerously into camp because it takes itself so seriously.  I mean, Alucard?  Really?  Who were they kidding?  Unless it was meant to be a criticism of how the European elite thought of Americans as stupid, which ultimately contributed to their loss of power on a world scale.  In which case, it was still not subtle.  Regardless, this movie was interesting, as I said, because it took steps away from the source material and tried to branch out. Maybe not successfully, but it paved the way for other entries to be declared canon.

The Amityville Horror (1979)

  I have got to find somebody who enjoys horror movies.  I have burned through all of my friends and family.  Somebody has got to be out there who is willing to watch these movies with me because, I am telling you, other people are missing out.

At over 30 years old, the original Amityville Horror is a fantastic movie that holds up surprisingly well.  Christy wouldn't even walk through the living room while it was playing, just in case she accidentally saw something that would give her nightmares.  I actually agreed with this course.  Based on the subject matter, what she would have seen probably would have kept her up all night.  I was fine, but stuff like that doesn't bother me.

George (James Brolin) and Kathy (Margot Kidder) Lutz think they have found their dream home in a Long Island property.  It should be wildly out of their price range, but because the previous residents were murdered in their beds, the Lutz's get the house for a song.  Kathy, a devout Catholic, asks Father Delaney (Rod Steiger) to bless the house and clear it of all negative influences.  The good priest isn't in the house fifteen minutes before he is overcome by the amount of sheer evil contained within those walls.  From that point forward, the house begins to work its sinister spell over George, filling his head with terrible thoughts revolving around the proper use of a double-bladed axe.

This movie ramps up the tension every progressive moment, not giving the audience a single frame of lag in which to catch their breaths.  That is impressive.  Plus, 98% of the movie is just atmosphere so there are no dodgy special effects that would date it.  It feels like it could happen tomorrow, if you were unlucky enough to move in to that house.  The only slightly goofy moment is when Kathy goes to look out the window and sees a pair of red glowing eyes.  The idea is terrifying.  The execution looks like someone holding up a Furby.  Just roll with it, don't let it take you out of the right headspace.

Sudden Impact (1983)

  So this rounds out my Dirty Harry collection, even though there is a fourth sequel called The Dead Pool that I'm going to have to pick up at some point.

Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) is getting real tired of being told that his methods of police work are too violent and too antiquated.  His boss (Bradford Dillman) is even more tired of telling him.  When Harry causes a suspect under surveillance to have a heart attack, Cpt. Briggs assigns him background work on a murder case in a tiny town outside San Francisco.  The local chief (Pat Hingle) tells him in no uncertain terms that he is not welcome, even when another body turns up murdered the exact same way.  Smelling something fishy, Harry investigates anyway.

This is one of his final collaborations with Sondra Locke, who got her big break in The Outlaw Josey Wales.  I straight-up did not recognize her so I looked her up on IMDb.  Holy crap, you guys.  If you want to read some trashy tabloid-style deconstruction of her relationship with Eastwood, look no further.  I don't typically concern myself with who actors are as people.  That's less important to me because it's not like I'm ever going to meet them.  Also, you can't really judge someone by what is reported about them.  That's not the totality of who they are.  That being said, Locke and Eastwood had a nasty bitter break-up, culminating in two lawsuits which effectively ended Locke's career in Hollywood.  That's the kind of break-up that gets made into a Lifetime network movie.

Since I am not in the business of celebrity gossip, I will say nothing more about it and instead focus on the more important issue:  the movie itself.  This was definitely the darkest in tone of the series.  Harry is much more worn-down, on the verge of burn-out even.  This also shows more brutalization of the victims.  I know all of the previous films have been violent, but this one feels much closer, like you're right on top of the action, or at least in the same room.  A lot of that comes from Eastwood taking the directorial reins on this outing.  He has always had a very specific vision for the films he takes on and while that has run to maudlin in recent years, this is a very precise work well deserving of the tagline "the Dirtiest Harry of them all."

The Enforcer (1976)

  Dirty Harry is back!  This time he's chasing down a bunch of domestic terrorists that shot his partner (John Mitchum) while they were robbing an armory.  But his long-suffering lieutenant (Harry Guardino) tells him that he needs to get with the times.  It's almost the 80's after all, and Harry's intolerance of damn near everyone can no longer be ignored.  So he is assigned Inspector Kate Moore (Tyne Daly), a bright-eyed records manager just itching to prove herself.  Of course he hates her, but Harry needs all the help he can get when the terrorists kidnap the mayor of San Francisco (John Crawford).  

This definitely felt more fun than the second film.  Young Tyne Daly is adorable, playing off Eastwood's crabby detective.  The plot is thinner but it's enough to propel the action and that's really all I was looking for.  Fun fact:  I came across part of this on TV a while ago and looked it up because it wasn't familiar.  That's how I found out Dirty Harry even had sequels.  I might have gone the rest of my life without knowing had it not been for a moment of channel surfing.  

Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)

  This came with the first one as a double feature and I'm really glad because I would not have wanted to wait for as long as it takes a movie to get to the top of my Netflix queue.  If you're wondering why I wouldn't just move it up, hi, you must be new here.  Welcome to my blog.

Master organist, biblical scholar, and vengeful killer Dr. Anton Phibes (Vincent Price) emerges from suspended animation in order to retrieve a magical cure from Egypt that will bring his beloved wife back from the dead.  His faithful but silent handmaiden, Vulnavia (Valli Kemp), is right there to assist him.  Unfortunately, while he was checked out, his house was destroyed and all his possessions carted off, including the priceless scroll showing the path to the Egyptian temple.  Phibes realizes that the only other person who could have been interested in the scroll is Darrus Biederbeck (Robert Quarry), a millionaire with a secret of his own.  The two men race across the desert, each determined to be the one to drink from the River of Life.

The deaths in the first movie were elaborate, over-the-top affairs but they made sense because Phibes had a decade or more to plan it all out.  Here, he and Vulnavia are out in the middle of the desert with things like a gold chair shaped like a scorpion and a giant thumbscrew.  Obviously, we've thrown plausibility completely overboard and are just going for the visual.  Which is fine.  It works.  It's weird and campy, with a twisted sense of humor and it totally works.  You just kind of have to let go and let it happen.

Into the Woods (2014)

  I heard this described as "no-one's favorite Sondheim."  That is awesome.  Still, I suppose it was inevitable considering the number of fairy tale movies making a resurgence.

A baker (James Corden) and his wife (Emily Blunt) discover that the witch next door (Meryl Streep) has cursed them with childlessness because of a slight the baker's father had done her years ago.  She agrees to remove the curse if the couple can procure five items before the full moon.  They venture into the woods to search and run into various other stories happening at the same time.  A little girl in a red cloak (Lila Crawford) learns about stranger danger, courtesy of a big bad (and terribly dressed) wolf (Johnny Depp).  A young boy (Daniel Huttlestone) takes his beloved cow to market to be sold only to wind up with a handful of beans.   A girl (Anna Kendrick) may have met the man of her dreams (Chris Pine), if she could just stop running away every time she sees him.  And another girl (Mackenzie Mauzy) grows her hair in a tower and dreams of a prince of her own (Billy Magnusson).

This movie is 47 hours* long.  At least with a play you get an intermission.  Without the break, the movie feels discordant, like someone electrocuted a copy of the Brothers Grimm and created a Frankenstein's monster out of the stories inside.  Some of the performances are excellent --Emily Blunt is a particular stand out, as well as the duet between the two princes-- but they're overshadowed by how long you have to wait to get to them.  I love Johnny Depp, I do, but he is awful in this.  Even as camp, it's bad.  But then you have the marvelous Christine Baranski as the evil stepmother with daughters Lucy Punch and Tammy Blanchard.  They are bitchy and hilarious.

I also think a PG rating was a bad call.  Trust me, nobody under the age of 13 is going to enjoy this movie.  Hell, most people under the age of 30 probably won't like it.  When I first saw the play, many years ago, I turned it off after about half an hour and I love musicals.  It has some great light-hearted moments but mostly it's about taking responsibility for the choices you make and learning to live like an adult.  That's hard to make entertaining.

As a side anecdote, this was one of the worst theater-going experiences I have ever had.  I had gone with my mother on Christmas Day in the small town I grew up in.  The theater was packed and the two women behind us talked non-stop.  Seriously, from the time the previews began until the credits rolled, these two old biddies chattered like blue jays.  About nothing.  About what was happening on screen.  About their theories on what was happening next.  My mother is next to me, laughing her ass off because of how inane and stupid these two women are and I'm about to blow a gasket.  I hate telling people to be quiet in a theater.  I don't feel like I should have to, that etiquette is pretty established, and now it seems like you risk death every time you ask someone to put away their cell phone.  With that in mind, I turned around TWICE to tell the deaf old bats to pipe down.  The first time, they did nothing.  The second time, I appealed to their handler? caretaker? unlucky bastard next to them? and asked him to please shut them up.  He told the woman to stop kicking my chair.  At that point, I just gave up.  My mother then tells me, after the movie is over and I can scream my rage to the stars instead of disturbing those around me, that one of those two hags had her BARE FEET resting on the back of my chair.

People.  Please.  For the love of all that you believe holy, stop treating the theater like it's your living room.  We go out to movies because we want a good experience and find ourselves surrounded by people with the same intention.  Can we not recognize that everyone in this hushed, darkened space has been summoned there with the same amount of joy we feel when we buy a ticket?  There's a reason the theater is not broken into individual screens.  It is a communal experience.  Please stop acting like you are the only fucking person that matters.  If you don't want to watch a movie with other people, stay home and watch it there.

*Ok, fine, the actual runtime is 125 minutes, but it feels like 47 hours.