Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)

  It's kind of a shame these movies didn't do better at the box office.  It seems like a fun series.

Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman), the half-blood son of Poseidon is feeling a bit like a one-hit wonder after having stopped the Lightning Thief.  Fortunately, a bit of prophecy is revealed that Percy could be the only thing preventing the destruction of Olympus.  He learns that his nemesis, Luke (Jake Abel), is after the Golden Fleece in order to raise the first of the Titans, Kronos (Robert Knepper).  Percy and his friends have to beat Luke to the fleece in order to save everyone they know.

I do think this lacked a bit of the luster of the first movie but was entertaining enough to overcome that setback.  Some of the set pieces were very nice and on the whole, the entire thing was very well imagined.  Alexandra Daddario seemed to be phoning it in but Leven Rambin more than made up for her lack of charisma.  Overall, not a total waste of time but I wouldn't rush out to buy a copy right this minute.

The Rite (2011)

  I am always down to watch exorcism movies.  Always.  Too bad this was such a disappointment.

Seminary student Michael (Colin O'Donoghue) is having a crisis of faith, so his mentor (Toby Jones) sends him to a special Vatican-run school for exorcists.  Father Xavier (Ciaran Hinds) thinks Michael needs a bit more of a hands-on approach and sends him to study under the unorthodox Father Lucas (Anthony Hopkins).  Michael isn't sure if Lucas is a charlatan or dangerously unstable until a personal tragedy forces him to confront the idea that demons are real.

The first hour of this is pretty good.  Sadly, the last half is terribly predictable and therefore boring in the extreme.  I actually would have just been okay watching Ciaran Hinds give a lecture on the Vatican-approved methods of exorcism instead of the trite formula the film followed.  Oh well, hope for a decent exorcism movie springs eternal.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 (2015)

This really does work best when seen immediately after Part One.  Otherwise, you lose all of the momentum and escalation of the previous three.  It's still depressing as all get out but it stays remarkably true to the books and that's no small thing.  Happy Easter, everybody.  Originally posted 26 Nov 15.  Happy Thanksgiving!

  I saw this on Saturday.  It was supposed to go up last Monday but I wasn't able to post it.  Let's just say this has been a rough month for me at work.

Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) is more determined than ever to take down President Snow (Donald Sutherland) after what he did to Peeta (Josh Hutcherson).  But she finds her role in the rebellion increasingly marginalized by President Coin (Julianne Moore).  Undaunted, she sneaks out to the front lines anyway, intending to get to Snow's palace and assassinate him herself.  Things never quite turn out the way they are intended, however, especially in war.

I have to say, I was a little disappointed by this film.  The pacing seemed off, there were a lot of stop-and-go moments, and it just seemed like it lost a lot of momentum from Part 1.  There were a few really nice moments, though.  Joanna (Jena Malone) was a standout character for me.  The mutt attack in the sewer could have been taken straight from a horror movie.  Donald Sutherland was super villainous and sickly-sweet about it.  It was enough to make me okay with having paid for a ticket, but I still wished it could have been more polished.

Paul (2011)

  I wasn't sure if I was going to like this film since I'm not a big Seth Rogen fan.  I do love Simon Pegg and Nick Frost which ultimately carried the decision.

Lifelong friends Clive (Nick Frost) and Graeme (Simon Pegg) are visiting famous UFO sites in America when they come across a real extraterrestrial named Paul (Seth Rogen) on the run from a government agency that plans to liquidate him.  Paul convinces the two to help him get back to where he first landed in order to call for a ride home.

This film is packed to the gills with sci-fi references from the most common to the decidedly obscure.  Plot-wise, it's the same as all other fugitive movies and a lot of the jokes are telegraphed from a different continent, they're so easy to see coming.  Still, there were enough genuine moments of humor to make this worth watching at least once.

Animal Crackers (1930)

  I didn't think this was as good as Monkey Business but it's still pretty funny.

Mrs. Rittenhouse (Margaret Dumont) is hosting a party for famed explorer Captain Spaulding (Groucho Marx) where she will also unveil a famous painting.  However, her social rival (Margaret Irving) has plans to embarrass her by switching the painting for a bad forgery.  Mrs. Rittenhouse's daughter (Lillian Roth) also plans to swap out the painting for a copy by her boyfriend (Hal Thompson) to show the world his work is indistinguishable from the real thing.  She convinces Chico and Harpo to switch the artworks during a storm but when the police are called, it's up to Captain Spaulding to sort this mess out.

This is based on a musical play and I don't know if the play is any better, but this film felt very stilted and the musical numbers mostly fell flat, with the notable exceptions of Harpo Marx playing the harp and Chico on the piano.  It felt very tame, I think is the word I'm looking for.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part I (2014)

There's a lot going on in this movie.  I don't necessarily believe they had to divide it into two parts, but it does allow for a lot more of the action sequences and time with the massive roster of side characters.

As an aside, I recently binge watched season two of Daredevil on Netflix.  I say that because I didn't realize that the actor who plays Foggy Nelson also plays the avox cameraman Pollux in Mockingjay until I re-watched the film.  Originally posted 17 Jan 15.   This is not nominated for anything at the Oscars this year, though it did get a Best Original Song nomination from the Golden Globes for "Yellow Flicker Beat" by Lorde.  I had the soundtrack for a couple of weeks before I saw the movie and the whole album is pretty decent.

I've been trying to see this since November but didn't actually accomplish it until last weekend.  I had read that the main criticism seemed to be the pacing.  People said it was slow and lacked the energy of the first two films.  I didn't notice any issues like that, though.  It is a deliberate story, yes, with less emphasis on a rush for survival but I didn't feel like it lagged.

Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) has been transported from the Hunger Games arena to the relative safety of District 13.  The leader, President Coin (Julianne Moore), wants her to become a symbol of the rebellion but Katniss is too traumatized by her experiences and guilt-ridden over leaving Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) behind.  She changes her mind after seeing the devastation President Snow (Donald Sutherland) has wreaked on her home district, committing to starring in propaganda films for Plutarch Heavensbee (Philip Seymour Hoffman).  But as she becomes the mouthpiece of the oppressed, so Peeta becomes Snow's weapon against her.

I read the books right about when the first movie was being announced and I have been more and more impressed with the films as each one as come out.  Because of my prior knowledge of the plot, I was curious how they were going to divide it into two movies.  There was one particular scene (and I won't describe it because it is a major spoiler for people who have not read the book) that I wasn't sure if they were going to show, but it looks like they are saving it for Part II.  I approve and I am looking forward to the final installment because I enjoy hearing a theater full of people cry.

Patriot Games (1992)

  From Hunger Games to Patriot Games, what fun times we are having!  This marks my official completion of all Jack Ryan movies.  I'm not sure who keeps track of that sort of thing, but they can check me off the list for Ryans, Bonds, Bournes, and Hunts.  Boom.

Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford) is on a speaking tour in London with his wife (Anne Archer) and daughter (Thora Birch).  While minding his own business, he happens to see the IRA attempt to assassinate a British peer.  Ryan leaps into the fray, fatally wounding one of the gunmen and capturing the other.  The survivor, Sean Miller (Sean Bean), vows vengeance against Ryan for killing his brother.

As an added benefit, I have actually read this book as well.  I'm not a huge Tom Clancy fan (I got totally bogged down in Debt of Honor and never pulled through) but I really enjoyed Patriot Games.  The film adaptation is pretty close; the only major difference is that in the book it's the Prince of Wales and in the movie it's the Queen's cousin.  Makes sense, I guess, since the Prince and Princess of Wales were such huge celebrities in the 90's.

This is a decent Harrison Ford action film, even if you're not into the whole Jack Ryan/Tom Clancy thing.  It's also nice to see a really young Sean Bean.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

I really think this is my favorite out of the entire series.  I enjoyed watching it again just as much as I did the first time, maybe more since this time I could just relax and feel the movie instead of constantly comparing it to the book in my head.  I still think the ending was too abrupt but it was really the only place to end and still have enough left to power through the next film.  Originally posted 30 Nov 13.    This is one of those rare sequels that isn't completely overshadowed by its predecessor.  It also stayed much closer to the book than I was expecting.  I found myself checking boxes in my head at every major event.

It has been a year since Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) scammed their way into winning the Hunger Games but life has not gotten much easier.  Katniss is definitely starting to feel the strain of maintaining her public persona for the cameras, i.e. her "love" for Peeta, with her possible feelings for Gale (Liam Hemsworth).  President Snow (Donald Sutherland) is also seriously pissed at her for accidentally fomenting rebellion in the districts.  He warns her that consequences will be severe should she deviate from the prepared script along her Victory Tour.  For a little extra insurance, Snow announces that the 3rd Quarter Quell will be a special All Stars edition of the Games, with only surviving victors eligible.  As the only surviving female Victor for District 12, Katniss is definitely going back in the arena and, of course, Peeta is going to trail after her like a puppy.  This time around, Haymitch (Woody Harrelson), tells them to court the other Victors for alliance, avoid the Careers, and try to not get killed by the landscape itself.

Although it ends with a bit of an abrupt stop, I enjoyed watching this.  What I'm really going to enjoy is the dismayed crying in the theater during the third film, Mockingjay.  A particularly beloved character bites the big one and I just want to be there when all those tweens see it happen on the screen in front of them. 

Parkland (2013)

  I wasn't alive when JFK was assassinated so I don't have any personal grief about it.  I understand that it was a very dark time for America with the simmering Cold War, the recent Cuban Missile Crisis, and the looming horror of Vietnam.  This movie doesn't deal with any of those things.

In November, 1967, President John F. Kennedy was shot during a motorcade in Dallas, Texas.  He was rushed to Parkland Memorial Hospital, where doctors and nurses tried in vain to save his life.  Several days later, suspected gunman Lee Harvey Oswald (Jeremy Strong) was also brought to Parkland after being shot by Jack Ruby.  The film also follows bystander Abraham Zapruder (Paul Giamatti) and the fateful video footage he shot purely by chance.

I'm not really sure what the point of this film was.  It's like making a movie about a housewife in New Jersey on 9/11.  Affected, sure, but not directly involved.  Still, I guess there are so many movies about Kennedy's presidency, connections, politics, and family members there aren't that many angles left to choose.  It was interesting in an academic way and the filmmakers drew some nice parallels between Kennedy's funeral and Oswald's but this was too much of an anomaly to enjoy.  Maybe for younger generations it will mean more.

Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)

  You guys know that Easter is a pagan holiday, right?  That's where the eggs and rabbits and maypoles come from.  In the spirit of Ostara, here's a movie about witches.  But, because life is confusing and generally lacking in pastel softness, it's a Danish silent film from the 20's illustrated by medieval woodcuts.  You're welcome.

Filmmaker Benjamin Christensen takes us back through the dark times of witch burning to draw parallels between the mania of religiously-condoned murder and "modern" psychotherapy.  Modern being a relative term when more than half the diagnoses consist of labelling a woman hysterical and locking her in an institution for her own good.  But, hey, it's better than thumbscrews and drowning, amirite, ladies?

The Criterion Collection blu-ray also includes the 1968 re-release, with a nifty jazz score and a rather boring voiceover.  Skip it and watch the silent version instead.  It's trippy and insane, therefore much more entertaining.

The Hunger Games (2012)

Seeing as all four movies are now available on video, I thought I'd do a little mini-marathon.  Don't worry, though, there will be plenty of original posts in between.

This was the first time I actually watched the original since the theatrical release.  I had forgotten what a game-changer (no pun intended) it really was.  This launched Jennifer Lawrence into A-list status and reminded us that there's more than one hot Hemsworth.  Beyond that, I had forgotten that it's a very enjoyable movie in and of itself.  The shaky cam still annoys me, especially in the cornucopia scene, but I'm much more tolerant of it at home than I am in a theater.

I can't imagine at this point that there are people who still haven't seen at least one of the films but if you are one of these unicorns and you held out on seeing them to see how they would do, or because you hate cliffhangers, or YA adaptations, or movies that intentionally split a book in two to make more money..., you know, now that I think about it, there are probably a lot of reasons why you wouldn't see this movie.  Watch it anyway.  It's a damn decent film.  Originally posted 25 Mar 12.    So this has become a huge thing.  I went to see it because I had read the books (reluctantly, since I have a policy of not reading things meant for children) and I wanted to see what they would cut out to make it PG-13 (almost all of the blood and, in many cases, the actual moment of death) but I was not prepared for how many people would be in the theater.  I didn't go to the midnight premiere, either, I went late in the afternoon on the day after it came out.  Still, the two shows before mine were completely sold out and I couldn't even get my seat-on-either-side comfort bubble. 

I rose above my trials, however, to watch this movie and bring my thoughts to you.  Here they are:  you should probably read the books.  I'm not saying you can't go to the theater tomorrow and watch this movie and not be able to understand anything.  You totally can.  But the books provide so much more in the way of context.  This is one of those rare times for me that the book isn't so much better than the movie that seeing the film makes me angry.  Whether that's a compliment to the movie or a dig on the book, I'm not sure.  I found the narration of the main character a little choppy at times but she's basically a teenager with PTSD so that makes sense.

The one fatal flaw I found with the movie version is shaky-cam.  So much shaky-cam.  It made me want to throw things at the screen.  I'm guessing it served to minimize some of the graphic violence that is supposed to be going on but, as a fairly bloodthirsty adult, it irritated the shit out of me.

In a future dystopian America, twelve districts are under the control of The Capitol.  After a failed rebellion,  the districts are forced to choose by lottery a boy and a girl between 12 and 18 to participate in a fight to the death called The Hunger Games.  The winner's district receives comfort and food and the winner gets a life of luxury.  Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) is a hunter from district 12, a poor coal-mining region, who volunteers to take the place of her 12-year-old sister when her name is called.  Joining her is Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson), the baker's son.  Once they arrive at the Capitol, they are handed over to a team of stylists, led by Cinna (Lenny Kravitz), and trained by their mentor, a drunk named Haymitch (Woody Harrelson), all while trying to come to grips with the fact that they will most likely die in the Arena.

These movies are going to make so much money that the two sequels are pretty much a given.  Of the three books, I found Catching Fire to be the most entertaining of the three and The Mockingjay to be the most depressing.  It will be interesting to see how they'll make the transition to the big screen and if they'll be able to get everybody back.

I, Robot (2004)

  I remember seeing this movie back when it first came out but it's been about a decade and I couldn't recall what it was about really.  I got a copy in the box that the Bowen so kindly gifted me which seemed like the perfect opportunity to watch it again.

In the year 2060, robots have become mainstays in the American home.  Their operating systems follow three ironclad rules, stating that robots cannot cause a human being harm, must obey all commands given by humans unless it conflicts with rule #1, and can only defend themselves if it does not conflict with the first two.  Only police officer Del Spooner (Will Smith) remains suspicious of the devices.  When leading robotics pioneer Dr. Alfred Lanning (James Cromwell) is murdered, Spooner suspects Lanning's last project, a robot named Sonny (Alan Tudyk) had a hand in the matter. This starts Spooner on a path to full-blown revolution.

There's a reason I forgot everything involved with this movie.  It's just not very memorable.  Even the color palette is muted and drab.  It's entertaining enough the first time but not one that you're going to want to see over and over.  There's just not enough to it.

Pain & Gain (2013)

  I haven't laughed so hard at a movie in weeks.  And it's by Michael Bay, of all people.

Danny Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) believes that attaining physical peak is the first step to achieving the American dream but he never seems to be able to get ahead.  His client at the gym, Victor (Tony Shaloub), is a total asshole but is able to buy and sell Danny ten times over.  So Danny gets the bright idea to kidnap Victor and force him to sign over all his assets.  To do this, he recruits his longtime friend Adrien (Anthony Mackie) and a recent parolee (Dwayne Johnson) to assist.  Victor proves to be a much tougher hostage than any of the men are really prepared to handle.

The fact that this is based off a real case is hilarious.  Wahlberg is playing a total idiot but he sells it like it's going out of style.  He commits to this role.  Johnson is amazingly comedic and always has been.  I have not seen Mackie in much other than the Marvel films, and he's not really been allowed to shine the way he is here.  I really wish Michael Bay would stop making his giant robot fetish films and go back to directing action comedies like this one.

Carol (2015)

  This was nominated for six Oscars this year but didn't win any.

Therese (Rooney Mara) is a shopgirl desperate to find herself.  A chance meeting with a beautiful woman named Carol (Cate Blanchett) shows Therese that there are more paths in the world than the bare few she has been offered if only she has the courage to take them.  Carol's life is not all wine and roses, however.  Her husband (Kyle Chandler) is not above using their child as a bargaining chip to keep Carol from divorcing him despite knowing that she prefers the company of women.

There has been a long-standing trend in mainstream movies about homosexuals that they must end with either violent death or quiet despair as the character forces him/herself to conform to society's expectations.  The unspoken message is that society still considers homosexuality to be a deviation, something that must be overcome.  **SPOILER-ISH**  Carol is the first film that struck me as being deliberately hopeful. The character stands up to her husband and refuses to claim that being a lesbian is a mental disorder, even though she knows she will lose custody of her daughter.  She reaches out to Therese, who has become confident and successful in her career, and offers a chance to resume their relationship openly.  **END SORTA SPOILERS**  These are huge strides forward.

Movies show thinly-veiled metaphors for the values of our society in most cases.  I feel like it's a very positive trend that we have moved beyond the stock "gay" stereotype characters to 3-D representations of real people and now we're even letting them have happy endings, instead of relegating them to "tragic cautionary tale" symbols.

Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)

  I absolutely hated this movie.  And not just because of my irrational hatred for James Franco.  That's part of it, but not the whole thing.

Oscar --called Oz-- (James Franco) is a magician with a traveling carnival who dreams of making it big.  When his hot air balloon ends up in a magical realm that shares his name, he feels that destiny is afoot, especially after he meets a beautiful witch named Theodora (Mila Kunis) and learns about a prophecy that names him king of the entire land.  Theodora and her sister, Evanora (Rachel Weisz), are more than happy to crown Oz just as soon as he rids the kingdom of the evil witch.  Oz discovers that his target is actually the rightful heir, Glinda the good witch (Michelle Williams), and that the two sisters are out to rule for themselves.

Here's my problem:  every bad thing that happens in this movie is because Oz the wizard is a venal, untrustworthy, narcissistic little shit.  He has no appreciable arc from beginning to end credits, remaining a complete douche throughout.  That's not a story.  Add that to Franco's anti-charisma and a total lack of humor and you have an interminable slog of a movie.  No wonder this didn't get a sequel.

Wing Chun (1994)

  I know this is super late in the day to be posting.  What can I tell you?  I went to a winery with my friend, Megan, and it turned into five wineries and a Mexican restaurant.  These things happen.  Not often, but they do happen.  It was either that or (continue) binge watch(ing) season 2 of Daredevil on Netflix.

First things first.  I really enjoyed this movie.  It was fun, well choreographed, and showcased a more comedic side to Donnie Yen.

Female kung fu master Wing Chun (Michelle Yeoh) has a lot to deal with.  There's a whole gang of bandits trying to kidnap her pretty employee (Catherine Hung). she can't get any respect from the other kung fu masters, and the guy she was betrothed to (Donnie Yen) thinks she's a dude.  Life is hard.  The only thing left to do is kick as much ass as possible.

Yuen Woo-Ping is an absolute legend as far as fight choreography goes.  He's not as well known as a director, but that shouldn't scare you off.  If you like martial arts movies, this is definitely worth finding.  It's a little more light and fluffy than I'm used to but I'll watch Michelle Yeoh in anything.

Outlander (2008)

  Another day, another shitty action film.  This is the fourth one in a row that I have scrubbed off the server, along with an anime called Otogi Zoshi, a TV show called Outcasts, and Our Idiot Brother.

An alien (Jim Caviezel) crashes on Earth, specifically in Iron Age Norway.  He is captured by the locals before he can hunt down the dragon-like creature that killed his people and wrecked his ship.  The Vikings don't believe him when he tells them there is a monster on the loose until their settlement is attacked.  Then they all band together to fight the evil beast.

The plot is ludicrous.  The cast is actually pretty decent and the creature is well done.  Maybe if you have one of those "so bad it's good" lists, you could throw this in there but there really isn't another reason to dig this up.  It can just sink back into the bog of obscurity.

Hugo (2011)

My friends, the Bowen's, gifted me with a whole box of movies after they digitized their collection.  (I've promised Christy first crack at mine when I get around to it.)  A blu-ray of Hugo was included.  It's nice to have seen it again.  I didn't think I was going to, since I wouldn't have bought it.  I enjoyed it the second time around, maybe more than the first because I wasn't looking to be super analytical about its Oscar chances.  It won five out of the 11 nominations it received, by the way, in Cinematography, Art Direction, Visual Effects, Sound Mixing, and Sound Editing.  I was also very pleased to see Michael Stuhlberg (whom I have recently espoused admiration for) had a very important role in this film that I had not otherwise noticed.  It's funny how much recognition you can have seeing movies another time.  Originally posted 29 Jan 12.

Nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Editing, Best Art Direction, Best Costume Design, Best Original Score, Best Sound Mixing, Best Sound Editing and Best Visual Effects    Man this movie is up for a lot of Oscars.  Cinematography and Art Direction are definite yeses for me; the film was beautiful.  Adapted Screenplay I don't know because I never read the book, Costume is iffy since there weren't really a lot of stand-out looks and I don't know enough about technical stuff to say on Sound Mixing or Sound Editing.  I doubt it's the Best Picture of the year and I don't think Scorsese is going to cinch Best Director but I've been fooled before.

Hugo (Asa Butterfield) is a young orphan who lives in the walls of a Parisian train station.  His father's notebook is confiscated one day by an irascible toymaker (Ben Kingsley) which begins his friendship with the toymaker's god-daughter, Isabelle (Chloe Moretz).  The two children must discover the truth behind the toymaker's secret past and avoid the clutches of the Station Inspector (Sacha Baron Cohen) and his Doberman.

But that's really not what this movie is about.  At its heart, it is a story of film restoration and preservation.  I know Mr. Scorsese is very involved with the American Film Institute and his love for old movies comes through clearly.  I have no idea if that's what the book is about but if you've ever sat down and watched a movie from the '20s or been interested in the history of film, this is a good movie to watch.

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

This time around, the pacing didn't seem so jarring to me.  I was struck more by how much more emotional this film was over its predecessor, like they were really aiming for the gut.  I also watched the accompanying short, Dawn of the Dragon Racers, which was incredibly disappointing.  I found myself spacing out during it and it's only 26 minutes long.  Maybe if you have really little kids, they'll be amused but it doesn't hold a candle to the feature.  Originally posted 22 Jun 14.    Christy's birthday was this past week and she asked us to take her to see How to Train Your Dragon 2.  It was one of her better ideas.

This sequel works hard to channel the magic of the original, picking up five years after the events of the first.  The island of Berk has been transformed into a human-dragon paradise but Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) cannot help searching ever farther afield.  His partnership with Toothless is stronger than ever but he wants his dragon to possibly find his own kind, maybe even a mate.  There's also the fact that Stoick (Gerard Butler) is grooming him to take over as Chief, which Hiccup doesn't feel ready to do just yet.  Then he runs into a set of dragon hunters, led by Eret (Kit Harrington), looking for conscripts to the army of Drago (Djimon Hounsou), and suddenly his personal problems diminish in stature.  With help from an unexpected ally named Valka (Cate Blanchett), Hiccup and his friends must save their dragons and their community from enslavement.

The animation is beautiful, as always, and the characters are already established, but something about the pacing felt off to me.  It lagged in bits and felt rushed in others.  That is serious nitpicking, however, so you should feel prepared to enjoy yourself when you go see it.  We had a great time, Christy's boyfriend (who doesn't watch animated movies because he apparently hates joy) included.  I don't know if they'll make a third volume, since this one has underperformed at the box office so far, but we can always hope.

Our Idiot Brother (2011)

  I don't even know why this movie exists.  It's not funny, it doesn't have anything prescient to say, and it doesn't work as a character study.  The female characters are strident and bitchy while the male characters shuffle along with little to no interest in participating in their lives.

Ned (Paul Rudd) is a happy-go-lucky hippie who gets arrested for selling pot to a cop.  After his release, he struggles to find somewhere to live after his girlfriend (Kathryn Hahn) kicks him out of their goat farm/co-op.  He tries to live with each of his three sisters in turn, but keeps bumbling into areas of their personal lives they don't want to confront.

Nothing about this is funny and it stars some incredibly funny people.  I'm not sure how that happens.  It's like reverse alchemy.  All these golden stars turned to lead.  It's depressing if you stop to think about it.

Do yourself a favor and avoid this movie.

The LXD: The Uprising Begins (2010)

  I really enjoy watching people dance.  One of my favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance and it kills me that it is not available on DVD.  The LXD does not quite fill that void but it does show off some incredible talents.

The world is in chaos and it is up to an elite group of superpowered dancers to save us all from The Uprising, a force of darkness.  This movie is actually a collection of ten episodes of the web series.  It features dance luminaries like Christopher Scott, Harry Shum, Jr., Lil C, and more in vaguely comic book styled routines.  Some of the episodes were only so-so but there were several gorgeous ones that made it worthwhile.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

So it took me a little longer to buy this than I thought it would and even longer to actually see it again.  The good news is that I was able to show it to my godchildren, aged 7, 6, and 5, and they loved it.  This makes me feel like I'm actually doing a decent job with this godmother gig.     Originally posted 02 Jan 2011.  This is one of the best animated films I have seen in a loooong time.  And it's Dreamworks, not Pixar.  That's a shock.  That's like Mad Dog 20/20 winning a wine-tasting.

Harsh?  Maybe.  But, come on.  Dreamworks is like the slightly less accomplished younger sibling to Pixar.  You know, Pixar is the one playing a piano concerto while Dreamworks farts Mary Had a Little Lamb?  That kind of thing.  It always seemed like the studio went for more of the juvenile demographic as opposed to Pixar appealing to all ages.  And I liked Shrek.  I liked the second one better, but that's just me.  

The story is about a kid named Hiccup growing up in a village that has a dragon problem.  Instead of being burly and blood-thirsty, Hiccup is a blacksmith's apprentice and junior engineer.  Or, in Viking, a fuck-up.  His dad, the chief, is constantly disappointed by his son's clumsy attempts to join in the dragon defense.  Then one of Hiccup's amateur siege engines brings down a Night Fury, a specimen previously thought to leave no survivors.  He finds himself unable to kill the captured beast and sets it free.  An unlikely friendship is born.  

Granted, I just watched it about forty minutes ago, but it seems like one of those movies where you could watch it over and over and still find it funny.   We'll have to see.  I borrowed it from my uncle but it is definitely going on the short list of movies to buy.  ...Okay, it may be a slightly longer than short list.  The point is, this one is on it.  And you should watch it.

House of Wax (1953)

  This is the classic horror film, not that Paris Hilton bullshit.

Henry Jarrod (Vincent Price) is a sculptor and his passion is creating wax figures that rival real life.  He and his partner, Matthew (Roy Roberts), have a small wax museum but the money isn't really coming in.  Henry tries to court another investor but Matthew thinks it would be simpler to just set the whole place on fire and collect the insurance money.  Henry, believed lost in the blaze, reappears after a decade to rebuild his dream only this time with a whole lot more murder.

I could have sworn that I had already reviewed this one on here but I couldn't find it.  I can't believe it slipped through the cracks but it has been a few years since I went through the letter H.  I love pretty much every Vincent Price movie I've ever seen but this one is especially near and dear to my heart because it's the first one I ever bought.

It was originally intended to be shown in 3D but it's just as good without it.  The effects are all practical so they don't seem as dated as later movies.  I never really got the horror vibe but I see where other people might.  Plus, this has a very young Charles Bronson as the mute assistant so there's an extra bit of Hollywood glamor for you.

The Other Guys (2010)

  I have to be quick about this because my friend is on her way to pick me up for a wine tasting.

This was not a good movie.  I don't like Will Farrell as a leading man and the humor in this left me completely cold.

Every police precinct has a pecking order and Officers Gamble (Will Ferrell) and Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) are at the bottom.  Gamble is a former forensic accountant more than happy to sit at his desk and do paperwork.  Hoitz is still stinging from a mistaken identity where he accidentally shot Yankees player Derek Jeter.  But when Gamble stumbles upon a case involving a shady businessman (Steve Coogan) and the National Lottery, the pair manage to pull themselves together.

This is supposed to be somewhat of a buddy cop parody but it's not good.  It's not bad enough to make me get up and turn it off, but I would never watch it again.  Also, I'm fairly certain it was intended to be some sort of protest against the Wall Street bailouts but it missed the mark entirely.  The only real mention is over the end credits, where stats about golden parachutes and wage disparity roll over the cast and crew.  Seeing as most of your audience has turned the movie off at that point or left the theater, I'm not sure what that was supposed to accomplish.

Barney's Version (2010)

  I added this to my queue way back in 2010, I think.  It was nominated for a Golden Globe.  I remember that but I don't remember which one and I'm too lazy to look it up right now.  I thought it would be funny and it was, then it sucker-punched me with sadness and I was not prepared.

Barney (Paul Giamatti) is a moderately-successful producer of a Canadian soap opera and a less-than-successful husband.  The reason for that is partly because he meets the love of his life (Rosamund Pike) at his wedding reception to a totally different woman (Minnie Driver).  The other reason has to do with his inability to manage his life, his bohemian friends, and his lovable but uncouth father (Dustin Hoffman).

This movie is adorable right up until it kicks you square in the feels.  Barney isn't exactly the greatest guy but you sympathize with him, even when he's accused of murder.  Seriously, there's a little bit of everything in this.  You should give it a shot, just be aware that you might need some tissues near the end.

OSS 117: Lost in Rio (2009)

  Like most sequels, this isn't as good as Nest of Spies, but it's still pretty hilarious.

Agent OSS 117 (Jean Dujardin) is sent to Rio to deliver a blackmail payment.  An escaped Nazi colonel (Rudiger Vogler) has a microfilm with a list of French collaborators and wants 50,000 francs to keep quiet about it.  Once in Brazil, however, OSS 117 is picked up by Mossad agents who want to bring the colonel back for trial in Israel.  They team 117 up with Dolores (Louise Monot), a highly capable field agent, and order the pair of them to track down the Nazi's hippie son (Alex Lutz) and get enough intel to break into his lair and bring him to justice.

The humor is broader here, more focusing on OSS 117's ignorance of culture, race, and creed.  He's also stupider this time around, less capable of random flashes of brilliance.  Still, it's worth it if only for his costume to the secret Nazi masquerade ball and the LSD-fueled orgy on the beach.

As a warning to all my good readers, I nearly killed myself trying to watch 66 movies in the last 40 days in my Oscar fervor.  Things will probably be slowing down a bit around here but that doesn't mean quality will suffer, just quantity.  I can't sustain that kind of output and keep my day job.