Monday, December 16, 2019

Blancanieves (2012)

  This movie is stunning in every sense.  First, it's a fake silent film, like The Artist, so you're probably thinking easy double feature, right?  No, friends.  You should pair this gorgeous, crisp black-and-white with Tarsem Singh's The Fall for maximum impact.  Yes, he also did Mirror, Mirror, a take on Snow White but the less said about that film the better.  This is the only Snow White adaptation you will ever need again.

Carmen (Macarena Garcia) grew up a lonely little girl, relegated to serving in her father's house by her evil stepmother, Encarna (Maribel Verdú).  Her father (Daniel Geménez Cacho), a famous bullfighter paralyzed by an unfortunate accident, loves her but is powerless against the cruel yet fabulous Encarna.  After securing the bullfighter's fortune with murder, Encarna sets her chauffeur (Pere Ponce) to kill Carmen.  She is presumed dead but secretly rescued by a troupe of traveling dwarf toreadors.  Now amnesiac and reinvented as Blancanieves, she begins making a name for herself on the bullfighting circuit, which brings her back around to Encarna's evil grasp.

I cannot stress to you what a boss bitch Encarna is.  Verdú is all camp here, rocking some flapper glamour.  Like, she could definitely be BFF with Cruella DeVil and Cate Blanchett's Lady Tremaine.  How boss is this bitch?  That's her on the poster, instead of the heroine.  When I say she steals a scene, she. steals. the. Film.  I would buy this movie for her performance alone.  If you're in the mood, it is streaming on Criterion.  Warning, the ending will come out and punch you right in the dick.  Just sayin'.

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