Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Hope everyone who celebrates had a great Christmas.  I didn't watch a single thing except this movie and the last two episodes of Hawkeye the entire week and a half I was gone.  I'm going to do my best to post a spoiler-free review.  

After having been outed as Spider-Man by Mysterio, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) finds himself the most famous person in the world.  Legally, he's covered, but public opinion is divided and it affects not just Peter's future but MJ's (Zendaya) and Ned's (Jacob Batalon) when the three of them are rejected from MIT.  In desperation, Peter turns to Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) for a spell that will make everyone forget that he is Spider-Man.  As you may have guessed, this is a terrible idea and immediately backfires, pulling everyone who knows Peter Parker is Spider-Man from all across the multiverse.  

Okay, so this movie does a lot of things and does them well.  This is good and bad.  Good because who doesn't want a great Spider-Man movie that successfully combines fan service and new lore?  Bad because now everyone is going to want to try it, and very few are going to get it right.

If you've finished Hawkeye, this won't be a spoiler, but if you haven't, it might be so I'm going to put it in white and you can highlight it to see.  The Netflix MCU shows are canon now.  Daredevil is Peter's lawyer and I'm so fucking excited to see all of them show up in the next Avengers movie.  Honestly, if you've spent a lot of time online, you'll have seen the breathless speculation about this movie, so the three Spider-Men might even feel old hat, but theres'a huge difference between fans guessing wildly and actually seeing all of them on screen.  

I've never been that big a fan of Spider-Man as a character but this is a ridiculously fun movie that works even better when you allow it to just happen to you instead of aggressively predicting everything about it. There is a mid-credits sequence that ties in a Sony character, and then a post-credit which is basically just a trailer for Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.  

Sony and Disney are reluctant bedfellows here so don't expect to see this on Disney+ any time soon, if you're still hesitant about going to the theater (valid).  Sony has an agreement with Starz so it'll hit there first for streaming after the theatrical window closes.  Disney will pick up sloppy seconds after that.

Two Week Hiatus

 Hey, everyone.  There won't be any posts this weekend.  I've had a death in the family and I'm taking this time to be at home, supporting my family.  And next weekend is Christmas, so don't look for any posts then, either.  It's been a bleak couple of years and we are going to celebrate harder than usual to try and beat back the darkness.

I will be back for the new year with a top ten countdown and a review for Spider-Man: No Way Home.  Stay safe, be well, and watch movies.

27th Critics' Choice Nominations (2022)

 Okay, so I wasn't sure if I was going to post this. 

There was a big thing earlier this year about how the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA), the group that determines the Golden Globe nominees and winners, wasn't diverse, actively fought against adding new members, and potentially used kickbacks and bribes in its selection.  NBC dropped its coverage of the ceremony, a bunch of stars are protesting, as well as major studios like Warner Brothers and HBO.  Now, I've posted the Golden Globes nominees for years here and it sucks that they are like this, but I really can't (even with my small-ass platform) condone corruption on this level.  

The HFPA has stated that they are taking steps to improve, hiring more members, hiring a diversity consultant, implementing new rules for receiving gifts for members over the next 18 months.  So maybe I will resume coverage in 2023.  But for now, I'm going to instead give you the Critics Choice nominations for movies and TV.  They probably have equal weight as far as Oscar predictions and they're not as morally ambiguous (yet.  Don't forget that we are in the Worst Timeline.)

So here we go.

Best Picture
Belfast
CODA

Don't Look Up

Dune

King Richard

Licorice Pizza

Nightmare Alley

The Power of the Dog

tick, tick...Boom!

West Side Story

Best Actor

Nicolas Cage - Pig

Benedict Cumberbatch - The Power of the Dog

Peter Dinklage - Cyrano

Andrew Garfield - tick, tick...Boom!

Will Smith - King Richard

Denzel Washington - The Tragedy of Macbeth

Best Actress

Jessica Chastain - The Eyes of Tammy Faye

Olivia Colman - The Lost Daughter

Lady Gaga - House of Gucci

Alana Haim - Licorice Pizza

Nicole Kidman - Being the Ricardos

Kristen Stewart - Spencer

Best Supporting Actor

Jamie Dornan - Belfast

Ciaran Hinds - Belfast

Troy Kotsur - CODA

Jared Leto - House of Gucci

J.K. Simmons - Being the Ricardos

Kodi Smit-McPhee - The Power of the Dog

Best Supporting Actress

Caitriona Balfe - Belfast

Ariana DeBose - West Side Story

Ann Dowd - Mass

Kirsten Dunst - The Power of the Dog

Aunjanue Ellis - King Richard

Rita Moreno - West Side Story

Best Young Actor/Actress

Jude Hill - Belfast

Cooper Hoffman - Licorice Pizza

Woody Norman - C'mon C'mon

Saniyya Sidney - King Richard

Rachel Zegler - West Side Story

Best Acting Ensemble

Belfast

Don't Look Up

The Harder They Fall

Licorice Pizza

The Power of the Dog

West Side Story

Best Director

Paul Thomas Anderson - Licorice Pizza

Kenneth Branagh - Belfast

Jane Campion - The Power of the Dog

Guillermo del Toro - Nightmare Alley

Steven Spielberg - West Side Story

Denis Villeneuve - Dune

Best Original Screenplay

Licorice Pizza - Paul Thomas Anderson

King Richard - Zach Baylin

Belfast - Kenneth Branagh

Don't Look Up - Adam McKay, David Sirota

Being the Ricardos - Aaron Sorkin

Best Adapted Screenplay

The Power of the Dog - Jane Campion

The Lost Daughter - Maggie Gyllenhaal

CODA - Sian Heder

West Side Story - Tony Kushner

Dune - Jon Spaihts, Denis Villeneuve, Eric Roth

Best Cinematography

The Tragedy of Macbeth - Bruno Delbonnel

Dune - Grieg Fraser

West Side Story - Janusz Kaminiski

Nightmare Alley - Dan Lausten

The Power of the Dog - Ari Wegner

Belfast - Haris Zambarloukos

Best Production Design

Belfast

Nightmare Alley

The French Dispatch

West Side Story

Dune

Best Film Editing

West Side Story

Belfast

Licorice Pizza

The Power of the Dog

Dune

Best Costume Design

Cruella

Nightmare Alley

West Side Story

Dune

House of Gucci

Best Hair and Makeup

Cruella

Dune

The Eyes of Tammy Faye

House of Gucci

Nightmare Alley

Best Visual Effects

Dune

The Matrix Resurrections

Nightmare Alley

No Time to Die

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

Best Comedy

Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

Don't Look Up

Free Guy

The French Dispatch

Licorice Pizza

Best Animated Feature

Encanto

Flee

Luca

The Mitchells vs the Machines

Raya and the Last Dragon

Best Foreign Language Film

A Hero

Drive My Car

Flee

The Hand of God

The Worst Person in the World

Best Song

"Be Alive" - King Richard

"Dos Oruguitas" - Encanto

"Guns Go Bang" - The Harder They Fall

"Just Look Up" - Don't Look Up

"No Time to Die" - No Time to Die

Best Score

Don't Look Up - Nicholas Britell

The Power of the Dog - Johnny Greenwood

Spencer - Johnny Greenwood

Nightmare Alley - Nathan Johnson

Dune - Hanz Zimmer

Best Drama Series

Evil

For All Mankind

The Good Fight

Pose

Squid Game

Succession

This is Us

Yellowjackets

Best Actor in a Drama Series

Sterling K. Brown - This is Us

Mike Colter - Evil

Brian Cox - Succession

Lee Jung-jae - Squid Game

Billy Porter - Pose

Jeremy Strong - Succession

Best Actress in a Drama Series

Uzo Aduba  - In Treatment

Chiara Aurelia - Cruel Summer

Christine Baranski - The Good Fight

Katja Herbers - Evil

Melanie Lynskey - Yellowjackets

MJ Rodriguez - Pose

Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Nicholas Braun - Succession

Billy Crudup - The Morning Show

Kieran Culkin - Succession

Justin Hartley - This is Us

Matthew Macfadyen - Succession

Mandy Patinkin - The Good Fight

Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Andrea Martin - Evil

Audra McDonald - The Good Fight

Christine Lahti - Evil

J. Smith-Cameron - Succession

Sarah Snook - Succession

Susan Kelechi Watson - This is Us

Best Comedy Series

The Great

Hacks

Insecure

Only Murders in the Building

The Other Two

Reservation Dogs

Ted Lasso

What We Do in the Shadows

Best Actor in a Comedy Series

Iain Armitage - Young Sheldon

Nicholas Hoult - The Great

Steve Martin - Only Murders in the Building

Kayvan Novak - What We Do in the Shadows

Martin Short - Only Murders in the Building

Jason Sudeikis - Ted Lasso

Best Actress in a Comedy Series

Elle Fanning - The Great

Renee Elise Goldsberry - Girls5eva

Selena Gomez - Only Murders in the Building

Sandra Oh - The Chair

Issa Rae - Insecure

Jean Smart - Hacks

Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Ncuti Gatwa - Sex Education

Brett Goldstein - Ted Lasso

Harvey Guillen - What We Do in the Shadows

Brandon Scott Jones - Ghosts

Ray Romano - Made for Love

Bowen Yang - Saturday Night Live

Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Hannah Einbinder - Hacks

Kristen Chenoweth - Schmigadoon!

Molly Shannon - The Other Two

Cecily Strong - Saturday Night Live

Josie Totah - Saved by the Bell

Hannah Waddingham - Ted Lasso

Best Limited Series

Dopesick

Dr. Death

It's a Sin

Maid

Mare of Easttown

Midnight Mass

The Underground Railroad

WandaVision

Best Movie Made for Television

Come From Away

List of a Lifetime

The Map of Tiny Perfect Things

Robin Roberts Presents: Mahalia

Oslo

Zoey's Extraordinary Christmas

Best Actor in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television

Olly Alexander - It's a Sin

Paul Bettany - WandaVision

William Jackson Harper - Love Life

Joshua Jackson - Dr. Death

Michael Keaton - Dopesick

Hamish Linklater - Midnight Mass

Best Actress in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television

Danielle Brooks - Robin Roberts Presents: Mahalia

Cynthia Erivo - Genius: Aretha

Thuso Mbedu - The Underground Railroad

Elizabeth Olsen - WandaVision

Margaret Qualley - Maid

Kate Winslet - Mare of Easttown

Best Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television

Murray Bartlett - The White Lotus

Zach Gilford - Midnight Mass

William Jackson Harper - The Underground Railroad

Evan Peters - Mare of Easttown

Christian Slater - Dr. Death

Courtney B. Vance - Genius: Aretha

Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie Made for Television

Jennifer Coolidge - The White Lotus

Kaitlyn Dever - Dopesick

Kathryn Hahn - WandaVision

Melissa McCarthy - Nine Perfect Strangers

Julianne Nicholson - Mare of Easttown

Jean Smart - Mare of Easttown

Best Foreign Language Series

Acapulco

Call My Agent!

Lupin

Money Heist

Narcos: Mexico

Squid Game

Best Animated Series

Big Mouth

Bluey

Bob's Burgers

The Great North

Q-Force

What If...?

Best Talk Show

The Amber Ruffin Show

Desus & Mero

The Kelly Clarkson Show

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Late Night with Seth Meyers

Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen

Best Comedy Special

Bo Burnham: Inside

Good Timing with Jo Firestone

James Acaster: Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999

Joyelle Nicole Johnson: Love Joy

Nate Bargatze: The Greatest Average American

Trixie Mattel: One Night Only

I did look over the Golden Globes nominations (which also came out today) and there's a lot of overlap in who is up for what.  I have no idea if the Critics Choice show is as fun as the drunken shenanigans of the Golden Globes but I guess we'll find out January 9th.

NCIS: Westeros

 Okay, no, but can you imagine a police procedural in Game of Thrones?  Madness.

Anyway, my quest to watch ancient TV continues through season six of the aforementioned, widely considered to be the Last Good Season before the abrupt drop in quality.  I have to say, I found it kind of a slog to get through.  Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is up and down in Mereen, Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) is offered a new Hand, somebody finally kills Ramsey Bolton (Iwan Rheon), and Arya (Maisie Williams) sheds faces like she's wanted for tax evasion.  A lot of stuff happens but I found it really hard to care about any of it.  This will not stop me from watching the rest of it eventually.  Save your breath warning me off.  I know the last two seasons suck.  I'm going to watch them anyway.  Game of Thrones is streaming on HBO Max.

I have also just finished watching season three of NCIS, a piece of copaganda now running into its 19th year.  I'm just praying the quality goes up at some point in its near two decades worth of episodes.  This season introduces Ziva David (Cote de Pablo), an Israeli operative working as a liaison officer.  She is replacing Kate Todd (Sasha Alexander), a move that might have meant more if anybody had bothered fleshing out either one of their characters beyond "brunette says flirty banter".  Yeesh.  

The only reason I even started watching this show was because my brother thinks Ziva reminds him of me.  Which is not the worst thing I've ever heard.  But it does make me wish her character gets some improvement in the next season.  She's on the show for 194 episodes so maybe?  Somewhere in there?  A third dimension?  NCIS is streaming on Paramount+.

Next up is season three (?) of Supergirl, so don't get your hopes up I'll watch anything more recent than 2017 for a while.

St. Trinian's 2: the Legend of Fritton's Gold (2009)

  The rare sequel that matches its original.  

The girls of St. Trinian's are back to spread some much needed anarchy.  Our plucky heroine Annabelle (Tallulah Riley) has been promoted to Head Girl, difficult enough with a student body that worships chaos, but compounded when Celia (Juno Temple) admits a stranger offered her 20,000 pounds to steal a ring from the school archives.  The ring is half of a treasure map left by infamous Pirate Fritton (Rupert Everett), an ancestor to the school's headmistress (Rupert Everett), who stole a huge sum of gold from would-be revolutionary Lord Pomfrey (David Tennant).  Pomfrey's descendant (David Tennant) will stop at nothing to recover that treasure.  With a little help from an old love interest (Colin Firth) and an alumnus (Gemma Arterton), the St. Trinian's girls head off to find buried treasure.

I really wish the opening credits and the poster listed at least one woman, considering the film is about women.  They could have easily listed Tallulah Riley instead of Colin Firth, who is a supporting character.  It just kind of undercuts the whole "Girl Power" message when your protagonist doesn't get an above-the-fold mention.  But that's really my only complaint.

Tennant is absolutely wonderful in this as the snide, pretentious villain Pomfrey.  He just went for it like a goddamn professional.  Excellent.  

St. Trinian's 2 is currently streaming on Tubi (and this is important) under the name The Legend of Fritton's Gold.  If you look up Trinian's, it won't come up.  Dumb, but there you are.  Don't miss out.

Defendor (2009)

  This is one of those "superheroes without powers" films like Super or Kick-Ass.  They all came out within a year of each other so it's not really fair to say that they were influenced by one or another, although Defendor did get to the box office first.  It's kind of a shame that it's been eclipsed by not having as famous a director and not launching the careers of a dozen new stars.

Arthur Poppington (Woody Harrelson) is a mild-mannered, somewhat slow construction worker by day, but at night, he dons the costume of Defendor, a vigilante, and prowls the streets looking for his nemesis, Captain Industry.  He finds Kat (Kat Dennings), a plucky prostitute, being harassed by corrupt cop Dooney (Elias Koteas) and a friendship is forged.  Kat tells Arthur that Captain Industry may be local mob boss Radovan Kristic (A. C. Peterson), who is running girls, guns, and drugs with impunity.  Armed with marbles, wasps, and an ironclad sense of justice, Defendor sweeps in to save the day.

This is much less violent than either Super or Kick-Ass and it lacks the gleeful cynicism of the former, and the sophomoric sense of the latter.  It's not a bad movie in any sense, and it may hit the sweet spot for you if you were turned off by either of the other ones for the aforementioned reasons.  The cast is great, the script never feels like it's pandering, and it has a brisk hour and 41 minute runtime that doesn't overstay its welcome.  Plus, Sandra Oh and a brief appearance from Tatiana Maslany.  Defendor is currently streaming on Amazon Prime.

8-Bit Christmas (2021)

  I saw a state trooper dressed as Santa Claus pull somebody over on I-95 today so the Christmas season has officially started.

Jake's (Neil Patrick Harris) daughter, Annie (Sophia Reid-Gantzert), really wants a cell phone for Christmas.  In an effort to distract her, he begins telling her the story of how 11-year-old Jake (Winslow Fegley) was desperate to acquire the most valuable of toys in the late 80's: a Nintendo Entertainment System and the lengths he and his friends would go to get one.

This is cute, like an updated version of A Christmas Story where "you'll shoot your eye out" becomes "video games cause violence".  The words change but the song remains the same...  The nostalgia is strong here, with helpful explanations for those born three decades later.  Maybe it will resonate for you, maybe it won't.  It's only an hour and 37 minutes so give it a shot.  It's currently streaming on HBO Max.