Run Fatboy Run (2007)

  I seriously love Dylan Moran.  He is hilarious in every role I have seen him in.

Dennis (Simon Pegg) ran out on his pregnant girlfriend (Thandie Newton) at the altar.  Now, five years later, he regrets the decision but she has moved on.  Her new boyfriend (Hank Azaria) is rich, good-looking, and runs marathons for charity.  In a rash moment of machismo, Dennis announces that he too will run in the charity marathon but with only three weeks to train, it will take all the willpower he and his friends can muster.

This was a fun comedy that I probably would not have sought out on my own.  I like all of the assorted actors but my queue already stretches to four pages of college-rule paper in addition to the 500 Netflix allows.  Fortunately, this was already on the server I got from Rob so all I have to do is not delete it.

A Woman, a Gun, and a Noodle Shop (2009)

  Here's a total rarity:  a foreign remake of an American film. 

Mrs. Wang (Ni Yan) buys a three-shot pistol from a traveling Persian (Julien Gaudfoy) as an insurance policy against her abusive husband (Dahong Ni).  Wang finds out about the gun and also suspects his wife is having an affair with one of the employees of the noodle shop he owns.  He hires policeman Zhang (Honglei Sun) to kill Mrs. Wang and her lover, Li (Xiao Shen-Yang).  Zheng doesn't care about committing murder but he does want more than the paltry amount Wang paid, so he decides to also take a crack at Wang's safe.

This is based on the Coen Brothers' film Blood Simple, which I have not seen.  I imagine it is less funny than this one but I have no idea.  This seemed so simple on the surface and spiraled out of control so beautifully.  It was a joy to watch.  It was also incredibly beautiful.  Zhang Yimou really knows what he is doing when it comes to the interplay of colors and light.  It makes me want to watch the original film now so I can contrast the two.

Jennifer's Body (2009)

One of the good things about liking something no one else did is that you can get it for really cheap.  I got a blu-ray of this for $5.  Totally worth it.  If anything, I liked it even more this time than I did my first watch.  I also noticed a small part from Chris Pratt as Roman, the police cadet from the early bar scene.  That doesn't really have anything to do with the movie, I just thought it was neat.  Originally posted 02 Jan 12.    Myabe just because I had incredibly low expectations, but I didn't find this movie as horrible as people said it was.  It's not a great movie but it's pretty cute.

Beautiful Jennifer (Megan Fox) is inexplicably friends with gawky Needy (Amanda Seyfried).  At least, in Needy's mind.  In reality, Jennifer just needs someone lesser around to constantly be better than.  Every girl knows a girl like that and if you don't, it's because it's you.  However, there's a chance that both girls will eventually grow out of this phase until an indie emo band comes to town.  Low Shoulder wants to make it big and they figure the power of the darkside will help them.  After a fire burns down the bar, the band takes Jennifer to be their virgin sacrifice.  Thing is, she's not actually a virgin and the sacrifice turns her into a vessel for the demon they conjure.  Needy is the only one who can tell that there is just something off about Jennifer.  And then boys start showing up mutilated and partially eaten.

This movie could have been better, I'll grant you.  It just needed a little push in the right direction, either more horror or more comedy.  It had both, but not enough of either to really define it.

Faraway, So Close! (1993)

  I wasn't entirely sure whether this was a sequel or remake to Wings of Desire, a beautifully melancholy film about an angel who becomes human.  According to IMDb, it's a sequel so I'm going to go with that.

Cassiel (Otto Sander) is an angel who watches over the people of Berlin.  He is fascinated by their lives and often wishes to become one of them, which he does when he intervenes to catch a little girl (Aline Krajewski) who falls off a balcony.  Elated but now facing the issue of suddenly existing with no identification, he seeks out another angel-turned-human, Damiel (Bruno Ganz), for help.  He also meets a mysterious stranger calling himself Emit Flesti (Willem Dafoe) who is not precisely on his side.  Cassiel must navigate this familiar-turned-alien world now as a participant, not as an observer.

I'm sure that's some sort of metaphor for Berliners after the Wall came down.  All of a sudden they had a whole city again, instead of just half of one.  Plus, this was about the time when the children of Nazis had to come to grips with the legacies of their parents and having to carry the scars of something that happened before they even had memories.  That kind of national guilt has got to fuck you up inside.

This film lacks the dreamy introspective quality of the first film.  It's not terrible but I didn't feel moved by it.  Mostly I kept thinking how bizarre a cast it had with cameos from Peter Falk, Lou Reed, and Mikhail Gorbachev.

Really.  Freakin' Gorbachev.

Anyway, it's not going to kill any of your brain cells to watch this but I'd say stick with the first one if you're looking for your arthouse fix.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

  I can't believe this movie is fifteen years old.  Oh my God, what have I been doing with my life?

Existential crisis aside, I love this movie.  It's probably my second favorite of the entire Askew-niverse.

Slackers Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) want nothing more than to sling a few dime bags while slouching against the wall of the Kwik Stop but a restraining order prevents them from going near it.  In desperation, they turn to comic shop owner Brodie (Jason Lee) who tells them they should fight back with the funds they received from a movie deal about characters based on them, Bluntman and Chronic.  This is news to the less-than-dynamic duo who set out to track down the comic's creators.   Holden (Ben Affleck) points them in the direction of Hollywood, after a helpful introduction to the Internet.  Along the way, Jay falls head-over-heels for Justice (Shannon Elizabeth), a sexy jewel thief and the pair run afoul of Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (Will Ferrell) after rescuing an orangutan from an animal research facility.

There are so many cameos and movie references within references that it would take ages to list them all.  You'd be better off just watching the movie and seeing how many of them you can catch.

The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond (2008)

  I do love the Art Deco style of this poster but I can't say I enjoyed the movie that much.  It's based on a Tennessee Williams play, which should tell you everything you need to know right there.  For those of you who didn't have to suffer through The Glass Menagerie in high school, that means it's Southern and depressing.

Fisher Willow (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a spoiled heiress looking to stay in the good graces of her very rich aunt (Ann-Margaret) by attending all the debutante balls.  Fisher chooses good-looking but poor Jimmy (Chris Evans) to accompany her as a small rebellion.  Jimmy is very wary of Fisher's motives as well as the social chasm between them and matters come to a head at a Halloween party when Fisher loses a $10,000 diamond earring.

Unless you really love all things Tennessee Williams, the roaring 20's, or the petty dramas of social etiquette, I'd say give this one a miss.  It's pretty enough but under that surface lurks a well of boredom and depression.

Twin Dragons (1992)

  This was my absolute least favorite of the Jackie Chan collection.  Frankly, it was horrible and if it wasn't on the same disc as Supercop, I'd probably toss it.

A pair of twins are separated at birth by a bizarre series of events that culminate in one, John (Jackie Chan), becoming a concert pianist and the other, Boomer (Jackie Chan), becoming a mechanic and brawler.  They accidentally meet and predictable, easily avoided hijinks ensue.

This movie was so lazily written it might as well have been named Lowest Common Denominator.  Every joke is the cheapest, most obvious, the plot holes are big enough for a Lear jet, and even the action sequences seem half-assed.  Avoid.

The Rock (1996)

  I keep trying to like this movie.  I must have seen it now four times and I just can't do it.  Every time I try I just hate it more.  And it's the best kind of 90's garbage, too.  Before Nicholas Cage had tax problems, Sean Connery retired, and Michael Bay's name became synonymous with a joke about explosions.  Sometimes I'm so disappointed in myself.

FBI Agent Stanley Goodspeed (Nicholas Cage) is a chemical weapons specialist happy to live out his days defusing bombs and looking for limited vinyl records.  Then a disgruntled Army general (Ed Harris) takes over the island of Alcatraz, imprisoning all the tourists, and threatens to shoot fifteen rockets filled with an extremely toxic nerve agent into San Francisco.  Goodspeed has to go and diffuse the rockets but he can't get to the island without help.  In desperation, the director of the FBI (John Spencer) releases the one man to ever successfully escape from the Rock, a former SAS operative named John Mason (Sean Connery) who has been held without trial for the last thirty years.

The whole film is so overwrought it should be reclassified as performance art.  Harris and Connery try to see who can chew the most scenery -- a contest in which everyone loses.  Cage is a neurotic wreck and everyone else seems to be going for a certain frothing-at-the-mouth intensity.  I'm sure there are a lot of people who enjoy this movie.  They can keep it.

Quartet (2012)

   Man, little old British people are the best.  What would we do without them?

Beecham House is a retirement community for musicians.  Every year, they perform a gala on the anniversary of Verdi's birth to raise money to keep the place operating.  This year, an operatic trio are dismayed to learn that the estranged fourth member of their group is joining their home.  Jean (Maggie Smith) is adamant about not singing again.  Reginald (Tom Courtenay) is just as adamant about not speaking to her.  Cissy (Pauline Collins) and Wilf (Billy Connolly) still believe that the four of them should perform together for the gala and mend decades of ill feeling.

This movie is so charming and witty; it's an absolute joy to watch.  There's no grand drama, just heartfelt interactions between very gifted people.  Sometimes all you want is something pleasant but not saccharine.  This is a lovely meringue of a film.

Supercop (1992)

  Apparently, this is the third entry in the Police Story franchise.  Miramax has a lot to answer for with regards to their treatment of foreign properties.

Kevin (Jackie Chan) is one of the best cops in Hong Kong so naturally he is chosen for a special mission to go undercover on the mainland.  His liaison, Inspector Yang (Michelle Yeoh), is very strict and by-the-book but as she and Kevin get drawn deeper and deeper into the web of crime, they form a real bond of partnership.

No one should care what this movie is about.  It's Michelle Yeoh and Jackie Chan kicking ass together.  That is what is important.  So much ass-kicking.  So many explosions.  So many really dangerous stunts.  It's awesome.  This is my favorite out of the entire collection.

Robot Jox (1989)

  This was the worst movie I have seen in a while.  At first, I was working myself up into a pretty good rage about the blatant misogyny and casual racism but then I had to just laugh at how horribly dated and awful it is.  It's been a while since I've had one you could add to the "So Bad It's Worth Watching" pile.  For God's sake, don't do it sober.

In a far future that is nonetheless 1989, the world is split into two factions.  Wars are a thing of the past so disagreements are settled periodically by duels between giant mecha warriors.  Achilles (Gary Graham) wants to retire after a horrific accident but comes back for One Last Fight to save the new generation of robot pilots's champion, Athena (Anne-Marie Johnson), from the evil clutches of his Russian nemesis (Paul Koslo).  Despite the fact that she is younger, faster, has better reflexes, beat out twenty other candidates for the position, and literally trained her entire life for this moment, she's a girl ergo she must need saving.

I don't think I can overstate how terrible this movie is.  Pacific Rim looks like Citizen Kane next to this piece of garbage.  For all of you who consider that a challenge, you have been warned.  I take no responsibility for your reactions to this.

Descendants (2015)

  This is the Christy pick for June, also her birthday.  Yay!

In the Disney universe, Belle (Keegan Connor Tracy) married the Beast (Dan Payne) and banished all the villains to the Isle of the Lost, surrounded by a magical barrier from which they can not escape.  All is well and good until their son, Ben (Mitchell Hope), decides to extend a goodwill gesture toward the children of the island and invites four of them to attend the same school as the "good" children.  Maleficent (Kristin Chenoweth) sees this as the perfect opportunity to get some revenge and tells her daughter, Mal (Dove Cameron), to steal the wand belonging to the Fairy Godmother (Melanie Paxson) as soon as she can.  Mal and the other three children are initially committed to the plan but soon learn that the outside world is not exactly what they have been told by their parents.

This is a Disney Channel original movie, with all that entails.  Obviously, it has been many years since I had an inclination to watch anything  on that channel and I'm not the target audience by any stretch.  It's a cute concept, and I understand the reasoning.  Most of the classic Disney movies came out either before I was born or during my childhood.  Kids today need something of their own, a fresh way to connect to these characters.

That being said, I found myself nonplussed by the film.  It just felt so half-assed.  They didn't even give the kids real names, just shorted versions of their parents'.  And no one explained exactly how the villains ended up with children.  Who lines up to fuck Maleficent?  Well, okay, me but that's just so I can steal her power.  And who lets Jafar have custody?  The female characters I get, the baby comes from them so they just keep it, but who slept with Jafar and thought "you know, my child should be with his father"?

The plot is very predictable and the musical numbers were a little lacking in imagination but the choreography was excellent and so were the costumes.  Kenny Ortega directed so these are givens.  He also did the directing for Newsies and is most famous for the choreography of Dirty Dancing.  If you have teens, they probably enjoyed this.  I just wish it had a little more to offer.

Project A 2 (1987)

  This film takes place immediately after Project A, with Dragon (Jackie Chan) being promoted to take over an entire precinct of police.  Unfortunately, they are completely corrupt and before he knows it, he has been framed for the theft of a diamond pendant by the man he replaced, Inspector Chun (David Lam), the pickpocket (Carina Lau) who slipped him the jewels is kidnapped, and there's also a subplot about a group of revolutionaries trying to drum up sympathy for their compatriots on the mainland.  Plus, the pirates are still after him in revenge for killing their leader.

This one is a much more serious affair than the first film but still manages to incorporate a lot of silliness.  The stunts and chase sequences are full-out insanity, which is only to be expected from a Jackie Chan feature.  Personally, I liked this one better than its predecessor.  It seemed more polished and with more of an eye for plot and character development instead of just a series of loosely connected gags.

To Have and Have Not (1944)

  This was the first pairing of Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, who went on to have their own storybook romance.

Ship captain Harry (Humphrey Bogart) is quite happy to take rich jackasses fishing off the coast of Martinique but he finds himself drawn into the war effort despite himself when a friend (Marcel Dalio) asks him to smuggle a pair of Free French revolutionaries onto the island.  Harry finally agrees, partly to thumb his nose at the unctuous Vichy representative (Dan Seymour), and partly to help beautiful pickpocket Marie (Lauren Bacall) get back to America.

This feels very much like Casablanca and is almost as famous, if only for the exchange between Bogey and Bacall about whistling.  If you're at all interested in films from the 40's, this is a stunning example.

There is an accompanying cartoon from Merrie Melodies in the special features called "A Bacall to Arms" which spoofs the film and the times in which it was made.  I didn't check out any of the others because I'd already made up my mind to acquire this and complete my Bogey-Bacall collection.

Project A (1983)

  This poster is adorable.  And I think it perfectly captures the cartoon-like quality of this movie.

Sergeant Ma Yuen "Dragon" Long's (Jackie Chan) naval unit is reassigned to the Hong Kong Police Force after a spectacular failure in capturing pirates that are terrorizing the shipping industry of the port.  After some initial discomfort, Dragon is transferred to an elite unit under Captain Tzu (Biao Yuen) to hunt for the pirates' land connections.  He also runs into his old friend, Fei (Sammo Hung), who has become a thief.  Fei tells him that a shipment of rifles intended for the police is going to be rerouted to the pirates.  Dragon and Tzu investigate but are told to back off by their superior.  Dragon throws down his badge and decides to go after the pirates on his own.

Of course this is filled with fight choreography.  This is the youngest I've ever seen Sammo Hung but he is instantly recognizable.  The movie itself is kind of a mishmash of Stripes, Lethal Weapon, and The Pirates of Penzance.  Without the singing.  If you're in the mood for something maxed out on silliness and minimal in making sense, this is for you.

1500 Blogs Ranked!

Okay, well not all 1500.  That would be weird.  But here are a selected number, about every fifty, based on your views from least to most popular.  Maybe you'll see something new and click on it.  Maybe you'll just marvel at how one woman has this much time on her hands.  I know I did!

1500 - Paris 36 -- An Oscar nominee from my very first attempt to see them all.  Published 04 Feb 2010.

1450 - Killshot -- I didn't remember anything about this movie, to be honest.  Published 21 May 2011.

1400 - Death at a Funeral -- This is the original British film, not the American remake with Chris Rock.  Published 22 Aug 2011.

1350 - Ocean's Twelve -- Published 06 Sep 2011.

1300 - Le Samourai -- Published 20 Jul 2010.

1250 - For Your Eyes Only -- A little Roger Moore as James Bond.  Not one of the better films, however.  Published 02 Jan 2013.

1200 - Micmacs -- 24 Oct 2015.

1150 - Reign of Fire -- 23 Oct 2013.

1100 - Catwoman -- Still one of the worst movies ever made.  Published 13 Apr 2014.

1050 - Galapagos -- 14 Jul 2015.

1000 - Jaws -- 07 Sep 2010.

950 - The Five-Year Engagement -- 15 Dec 2013.

900 - Drumline -- 31 Jan 2015.

850 - Ex Machina -- This is the only movie from this year to make the list and I'm happy to see it already this high in the ranks.  Published 25 Jan 2016.

800 - Beginners -- 26 Mar 2012.

750 - Bernie -- 02 Aug 2014.

700 - The Great Mouse Detective -- 21 Nov 2015.

650 - Bunraku -- 20 Oct 2012.

600 - The Act of Killing -- 15 Feb 2014.

550 - Little Shop of Horrors -- 02 Oct 2010.

500 - Bottom 11 for 25,000 -- Well, that's kind of meta.  A list on a list.  Published 11 Aug 2013.

450 - Angel of Death -- I didn't remember this one either.  Published 17 Oct 2011

400 - Happy Accidents -- 01 Dec 2013.

350 - Raging Bull -- 29 Apr 2013.

300 - Moonraker -- Another Roger Moore Bond.  You guys must have loved this one.  Published 23 Dec 2012.

250 - Beetlejuice -- 28 Jul 2013.

200 - True Grit -- This is the Coen Brothers remake.  Not the original.  Published 27 Dec 2010.

150 - City of Angels -- 29 Jun 2014.

100 - Red Dawn -- This is the original, not the remake which is much further down the list.  Published 20 Aug 20112.

50 - The Sorcerer's Apprentice -- 08 Jan 2011.

10 - Golden Globes Nominations 2010 -- Published 15 Dec 2010.

And, finally, the most popular post after all this time is...

1 - 2012 Golden Globes Nominations -- Published 19 Dec 2011.

Robin Hood (2010)

I had forgotten how funny this movie was.  Also, Jesus, this is a terrible write-up.  You can easily tell that this was one of my earliest attempts at movie blogging.

I didn't even say who was playing who.  Ugh.

For the record, Russell Crowe is Robin Hood, Cate Blanchett is Marian, Oscar Isaac is King John and the villain is Mark Strong.  I feel like this is an adaptation that will continue to grow on me in future viewings.  Originally posted 22 May 10.   Ah, Robin Hood! One of my all time favorite legends, much more so than lame-ass King Arthur. We haven't had a really good Robin Hood movie since I was in the third grade. Even then, you didn't watch Prince of Thieves for Robin Hood. You watched for Alan Rickman and Michael Wincott.

In this Robin Hood, to paraphrase Cary Elwes, unlike other films, everyone has an English accent.

Ooooooh.

Well, except for the French. They sound French.

Ridley Scott decided to go for realism over some of the more fantastic elements of the legend, a move that has earned him some backlash from the critics. I'm going to give it to him, though, because for every bile-spitting angermonger bitching that Russell Crowe isn't wearing tights, there would be an equally vociferous nerd complaining that in the 12th century tights hadn't been invented yet. So everything is dirtier and grimier, although everybody is surprisingly literate.

The characters are still the same, boiled down to the bones just waiting for a reapplication of flesh. Robin Hood is an archer with a heart full of noble ideas, his merry men are loyal to him, Maid Marion is his lady love, and Friar Tuck likes to get down with some mead.

For me, King John was the standout performance. Talk about a guy you love to hate. He puts the capital D in Douchebag. He bangs the sister of his mortal enemy (King Philip of France), lives with his mom whom he disrespects at every opportunity, wears too much jewelry, oils his hair, and thinks that the world exists for his amusement. He could have been on Jersey Shore in a heartbeat.

Now, I do want to warn you: there is very little "robbing the rich to feed the poor". In fact, there's only one scene...and he's actually ripping off the church. Again, more historically accurate (the church did demand tithes in addition to people being taxed by the state, which they were exempt from). That's why future English kings took such a dim view of religion. Like I said, I'm a big fan of this time period. I've read biographies on Eleanor of Aquitaine, I've seen both versions of The Lion in Winter (and you thought your family Christmas was a trainwreck...), and read tons of fiction based around the legends. I think that probably prepared me a little bit more for this version, which is less frolicking-in-Sherwood and more establishment-of-constitutional-law. Like I said, John was such an epic d-bag that he set historical precedent.

Some people have called this Gladiator-lite, but I would say that's unfair to the movie. You can see Ridley Scott's hand all over this film but his presence is relegated to the background, where it should be.

Take Me Home Tonight (2011)

  I was really hoping this would be a great movie.  It's not horrible, but it falls well short of great.

Matt Franklin (Topher Grace) has limitless potential and a degree from MIT but no real desire to apply those things to any career.  It is the middle of the 80s and Matt is working at Suncoast Video in the mall instead of pursuing anything he really wants.  One of those things is his high school crush, Tori (Teresa Palmer), in town again for the annual Labor Day party.  Matt decides this is the year that he will work up the nerve to talk to her, mostly by lying his face off to get her to like him.  Meanwhile, Matt's twin sister Wendy (Anna Faris) is on the cusp of a new step in her relationship with hot but stupid Kyle (Chris Pratt) and is starting to wonder if it's all worth it, and Matt's best friend Barry (Dan Fogler) is trying to party hard enough to forget that he's been fired and his life is essentially over before it's even begun.

The only thing this movie was missing in its homage to 80's comedies was the obligatory "this is where the characters are after the credits roll" blurbs.  The filmmakers clearly had a love for movies made in this decade and went to a lot of trouble to recreate that feeling.  I'm really sad it didn't work for me.  I wanted to like this.  I just couldn't do it, though.

The Armour of God (1986)

  And we're back to the Jackie Chan collection.

In this adventure, Jackie is happily minding his own business --that of a treasure hunter-- when he is approached by an old frenemy, Alan (Alan Tam).  They used to be in a band together with a woman named Lorelei (Rosamund Kwan) but their friendship soured when she left Jackie to be with Alan.  But now Lorelei has been kidnapped by an evil cult who want to force Jackie to locate all the pieces of the legendary Armor of God.  Destroying the restored armor will give the cult unlimited power.  Jackie and Alan team up with a expert on the armor, May (Lola Forner), to infiltrate the cult, rescue Lorelei, and steal what pieces the cult already possess.

This is obviously lower budgeted than Operation Condor.  It's also not as funny.  It tries but it's just too all over the place.  It doesn't really matter since the entire movie is meant to be a vehicle for Jackie Chan's martial arts.  In that respect, it performs admirably.  I could have done without him also performing the end credits song, however.

Road Trip (2000)

  This wasn't as gross as I thought it was going to be.  I remember people talking about it but I was never interested in seeing it.  If it hadn't been on the server, I probably would never have since it's not the type of comedy I respond to in any way.

Josh (Breckin Meyer) and his only girlfriend, Tiffany (Rachel Blanchard), are at separate colleges but still trying to stay together.  After a week of missed calls, Josh believes Tiffany has broken up with him and gives in to the temptation to bang Beth (Amy Smart), the girl who's been eyeing him all semester.  They film their tryst but the tape accidentally gets mailed to Tiffany, who has been away at a relative's funeral.  So instead of realizing that he is just a giant asshole, Josh decides to round up his three best friends and make a mad headlong dash to Austin, Texas to retrieve the tape before Tiffany can see it.

There is no reason to watch this film.  It is just a mass of bad decisions.  No one is funny.  No one is clever.  Everything they do is stupid and that's somehow supposed to be hilarious.  If I want to see people make stupid decisions that ruin lives, I'll watch CSPAN.  If I want to see people being disgusting, I'll go to Wal-Mart.

This is my 1500th post.  I'm sorry it had to be on such a shitty movie.  I'm going to do a big ranking thing for my whole blog but that's going to take some time to put together so stick around for that.

Who Am I This Time? (1982)

  This is actually an episode of a TV show that aired on PBS called American Playhouse but it plays like a movie, was directed by Johnathan Demme, and stars Susan Sarandon and Christopher Walken.  We're going to call it a movie.

Local amateur theater director George (Robert Ridgely) has a problem.  He needs a Stella for their production of A Streetcar Named Desire and none of the regular actresses are right for the part.  In desperation, he turns to a newcomer, Helene Shaw (Susan Sarandon), who has come to town to train the telephone operators on a piece of new equipment.  Helene has never been invited to participate in any local events and auditions for the part.  She reads against the group's Stanley, a hardware store employee named Harry (Christopher Walken), and the chemistry is undeniable.  So much so that Helene starts to develop feelings for Harry off-stage.  She doesn't realize, however, that Harry is cripplingly shy and only able to emote when he's wearing someone else's words.

I've never seen any of Christopher Walken's early work.  He looks pretty much exactly the same, minus the wrinkles, but it was still a little weird to see him as the love interest.  He and Sarandon are great together, as you might expect, and the whole movie was just darling.  I don't go in for cutesy romantic comedies but this was charming.  It's also based on a Vonnegut story so maybe that's why.  It's on Netflix but not streaming if you want to try and find it.

The Jackal (1997)

  I realized that this was mis-shelved only after I had opened the Jackie Chan collection.  These things happen.

A Russian mobster (David Hayman) hires an assassin known only as The Jackal (Bruce Willis) to kill an influential American in revenge for the death of the mobster's brother by a joint Russian-American task force.  The lead FBI agent (Sidney Poitier) recruits the only person who can identify the Jackal, an IRA hitter named Declan Mulqueen (Richard Gere), to help them track down the killer before he can complete his assignment.

This is such a product of the 90's.  It's still entertaining but I could definitely see the socio-political strings being pulled behind it, from the "Russians are friends now" string to the "we have mixed feelings about the IRA" thread.  

I thought Gere's Irish accent would bother me more, since I don't think I've ever heard him attempt anything but American speech, but I was surprisingly okay with it.  The real draw here is Bruce Willis in every disguise you can imagine.  The rest of the film could do with some tightening but seeing as it's almost 20 year old, I think I can just chalk that up to the style of the time.

Red Tails (2012)

  It took me a couple of tries to get through this movie.  I wasn't impressed by anything except the CGI, which was flawless.

The end of WWII saw the Tuskegee Airmen, an all-black wing of fighter pilots, dealing with low-grade castoff equipment and demeaning assignments.  Their commander, Colonel Bullard (Terrence Howard) argues tirelessly for their inclusion in battle and finally gets an opportunity for them to provide cover for slower-moving bombers.  The men in the unit deal variously with their own issues from alcoholism to undisciplined showboating.

I just didn't care.  The dialogue is terribly written, all of the conflict has been done to death, and the whole thing just felt like a waste of perfectly good actors.  David Oyelowo was clearly destined for stardom, since he's about the only one in the movie that can deliver his overwrought lines naturally.

There are better WWII movies.  There are better Tuskegee Airmen movies.  Don't waste your time on Red Tails.

Words and Music (1948)

  It's been a while since I reviewed a musical, even longer one I haven't seen before.  This is not my usual style of musical but I still enjoyed it very much.

Lorenz Hart (Mickey Rooney) and Richard Rodgers (Tim Drake) were a composer and lyricist who wrote over 500 songs and Broadway musicals.  This loose biopic covers their meeting, Hart's manic stages, Rodger's eventual romance and marriage, and Hart's downward spiral.  That makes it sound kind of depressing, but the film is peppered with lavish musical numbers featuring some of Hollywood's brightest stars.

It's pretty obvious that Hart was conflicted about hiding his sexuality.  That is not covered in the film but if you have eyes, you'll see what I'm talking about.  It's really depressing how many people were forced to hide who they were in order to be successful.  This isn't a social justice blog, though, so we're not going to dwell on that.

This is a great musical with a lot of really wonderful performances, including the last on-screen pairing of Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland.

Operation Condor (1991)

  A while back, I bought a six-disc collection of Jackie Chan movies.  These are the early ones that launched him into superstardom.  According to the back of the case, this is the first movie.  According to IMDb and Google, this is actually a sequel.  I don't think it matters much but I'm putting this disclaimer so nobody from the Internet yells at me.

Agent Condor (Jackie Chan) is an operative in the vein of Indiana Jones meets James Bond.  He is contacted by the U.S. embassy in Spain to help their expert (Carol Cheng) locate a buried fortune in Nazi gold.  Jackie believes the first step is to find out more about the men who buried it, so he tracks down the granddaughter (Eva Cobo) of the leader, who possesses knowledge and an artifact that might help him.

This is a super cute, fun adventure movie despite the fact that it is dubbed with no option for subtitles.  I have a particular hatred for dubbed movies.  This is good enough to make me overlook that flaw.  It feels like a B-movie mashup of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and one of the sillier Roger Moore Bond films.

Jackie Chan has never been my favorite martial artist/actor.  I was always Team Jet Li.  But it really is something to see him when he was so young and willing to break every bone in his body to do something that looks cool.