Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Nominated for Best Sound Mixing, Best Sound Editing and Best Visual Effects 

  I don't even know where to begin.  Yes, I do.  Christy picked this one. You'll notice from the tags that I watched Rob's copy rather than sully my Netflix queue with it.  I have never liked the Transformers in any incarnation.  I was a My Little Pony and She-Ra kind of girl as a kid so I never watched the cartoons.  I saw the first movie in theaters when it came out and swore I'd never spend that kind of money on that kind of garbage again.  Just a few months before I started this blog, I signed up for Netflix and the very first two movies I ever got were G.I. Joe:  The Rise of Cobra and Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen.  Two of my co-workers were arguing over which one was a better movie and I was enlisted to make a decision.  I thought they both sucked pretty badly but I gave the ribbon to Joe because a) Joseph Gordon Levitt and b) at least it had real humans.  On my best day, I can barely muster up enough empathy for my fellow man to not get hunted down by the FBI.  Do not ask me to pretend to give a shit about robots from outer space.

This is the point where my cousin's eyes get huge and start swimming with tears so let me soften the blow by saying that I do think that this is definitely the best of the three as far as having a plot.  They also made the robots different colors which made it way easier to tell them apart.  They got rid of Megan Fox and at least got a girl who can be trusted to say more than three lines and pout.  Not that Ms. Victoria's Secret is the next Meryl Streep but at least she didn't make me want to drill a hole in my forehead like Toe Thumbs did.  I'm running out of praise here.  Oh, there are lots of pretty cars.

Sam (Shia LaBeouf) has a medal from the President and a smokin' hot new British girlfriend (Rosie Huntington-Whitely) but what he doesn't have is a job.  Or a car, since his friend Bumblebee and the rest of the Autobots are part of a top-secret black ops team run by Lennox (Josh Duhamel, God love him.  At least he's working).  Then word gets out about a secret mission NASA flew during the first moon landing, where they found a lost Autobot ship that had crashed there.  All the people who were involved with anything to do with that mission or anything after that have been eliminated by the Decepticons.  When one of the last few gets killed right in front of Sam, he knows he has to do something.  The Autobots decide to go to the moon and revive the guy who was piloting the crashed ship:  Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy.  Seriously).  From there it's basically a huge wave of explosions and shouting and robots fighting.  Thank God one of Rob's speakers has been going in and out lately because it probably kept me from going deaf.

If you're already a fan of the series, nothing I say here is going to convince you otherwise.  If you're not a fan, then you weren't going to see it anyway.  Because you have good taste.