I'm seriously beginning to wonder if Madonna is actually a leanan sidhe, a type of vampire from Irish legend that fed on talented human men until they died. Guy Ritchie must just be recovering from his "marriage" to her because Sherlock Holmes is the first movie he's made since Snatch that hasn't sucked donkey balls.Sadly, this poor piece of shit movie is yet another victim of The Material Girl's nefarious hungers. It's just terrible. Not quite Revolver levels of suckitude, but nowhere near as good as Snatch or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. You can tell he was really trying to recapture that magic, though.
Set in the London Underworld, the plot revolves around a core group of characters. Lenny (Tom Wilkinson) is a crime boss who has made tons of money doing shady real estate deals. Archy (Mark Strong), his second and also the narrator, disapproves of Lenny getting in on a scam with a Russian billionaire (Karel Roden). Lenny's step-son Johnny (Toby Kebbel), a rock star and crackhead, steals a painting from his dad's house that belongs to the billionaire. Also involved in a side plot is the Russian's accountant (Thandie Newton) who is tipping off a group of petty crooks called The Wild Bunch (Gerard Butler, Idris Elba, and Tom Hardy) to rob his money transfers.
There is a lot of homophobic crap throughout, as well as very negative portrayals of homosexuals, which I do not care for at all. Even leaving that out, this is just a shitty movie. Too many characters trying to distract you from the fact that there is almost no plot holding this thing together.
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