69th Annual Golden Globe Awards (2012)

Well, the Hollywood Foreign Press' annual dinner party went off last night with only a very few hitches.  Ricky Gervais abided by the rules he was given (mostly) and as the alcohol flowed freely, you realized who was actually funny (George Clooney) and who only thought they were (Jimmy Fallon).

It was a night of mermaid dresses, penis jokes, and the French.  Some people looked amazing (Jane Fonda) and some people looked horrible (Piper Perabo).  Idris Elba, who won Best Actor in a Mini-Series for Luther, wore bedazzled Keds proving that Ricky Gervais was absolutely spot-on when he said the Golden Globes were to the Oscars as Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton.  We also saw once again that being a great actor/actress does not translate into having teleprompter-reading skills, although props to Julianne Moore and Rob Lowe for cold-reading off the script when their prompter had problems.  Still, the best presentation had to be Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy who sang a little song to the Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy or Musical TV Show nominees.

So who won what?

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, "Beginners"
Best Actress TV Series - Comedy: Laura Dern, "Enlightened"
Best Miniseries: "Downton Abbey"
Best Actress - Miniseries: Kate Winslet, "Mildred Pierce"

Best Actor TV Series - Drama: Kelsey Grammer, "Boss"  --He was one of the very few people who got on stage and didn't seem completely flustered.  
Best TV Series - Drama: "Homeland"
Best Original Score: Ludovic Bource, "The Artist"
Best Original Song: "Masterpiece," Madonna from "W.E."  --I wish I could say Madonna showed better but, except for her robot arms, she didn't really stand out at all.  Apparently, fellow nominee Elton John didn't give much for her chances.  Catfight?
Best Actor - Miniseries: Idris Elba, "Luther"
Best Actress - Musical or Comedy: Michelle Williams, "My Week With Marilyn"
Best Supporting Actor - TV Series, Miniseries, Movie: Peter Dinklage, "Game of Thrones"
Best Animated Feature: "The Adventures of Tintin"
Best Screenplay: Woody Allen, "Midnight in Paris"
Best Actress TV - Drama: Jessica Lange, "American Horror Story"  --I was really disappointed in how bad Jessica Lange looked.  Holy crap.  She looked like she had parachuted into the hotel from a funeral and didn't have time to fix her hair.
Best Foreign Language Film: "A Separation"
Best Actress TV - Drama: Claire Danes, "Homeland"  --She completely fell apart on stage and the longer she talked, the more worried I was that she was going to hyperventilate.
Best Actor TV - Comedy: Matt LeBlanc, "Episodes"  --Is it just me or is Matt LeBlanc looking more like Jerry Lewis now?
Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, "The Help"
Best Director: Martin Scorsese, "Hugo"
Best Comedy Series: "Modern Family"
Best Actor - Musical or Comedy: Jean Dujardin, "The Artist"
Best Actress - Drama: Meryl Streep, "The Iron Lady"  --She was the only winner who had to be bleeped and they very nearly didn't make it.  She apparently forgot her glasses and couldn't read her notes.  George Clooney tried to pass them up to her (he's such a gentleman) but by then she was on a roll.
Best Picture - Musical or Comedy: "The Artist"
Best Actor - Drama: George Clooney, "The Descendants"  --Apparently, Michael Fassbender has a really large penis and George likes it.  Or something like that.
Best Picture - Drama: "The Descendants"

Cecil B. Demille Award: Morgan Freeman

Only two more weeks til the Oscar noms come out!