What is with all of these depressing movies lately? This is the worst by far.David (Haley Joel Osment) is a robot in the shape of a small child. He was created to be a surrogate for childless couples in the wake of global population limits. Once David is imprinted, his software tells him to love that person unconditionally and can never be reprogramed. Given to a couple whose biological child is in cryostasis, David imprints on Monica (Frances O'Connor) and she is happy for a while. But when her actual child comes home, the stress of trying to care for a robot boy is too great. Instead of returning him to the company for destruction, Monica leaves him in the woods to fend for himself. David latches on to the idea of finding the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio so he can be a real boy and win Monica's love again. He sets off with some help from a talking teddy bear (Jack Angel) and a sexbot named Gigolo Joe (Jude Law) to the drowned island of Manhattan to find his answers.
You know how Into the Woods is known as "no one's favorite Sondheim"? Well, I petition to make A.I. known as "no one's favorite Spielberg". It's slow, it's creepy, and it's bleakly depressing. The only good thing I can say about it is that the special effects are still mind-blowingly good. Industrial Light and Magic really knows their shit. There are some seams, especially around the bear, but most of it is pretty flawless. That's not enough of a reason to watch this, though, not when there's literally an entire world of other movies out there.
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