Priest (2011)

Shhh!  Don't tell anyone.  I'm in New Orleans!  Christy is here for work and she invited me to come do the touristy thing so while she is slaving away, I'm going to tour cemeteries, bone up on my voodoo, and eat beignets until I sweat powdered sugar.  I didn't forget about you guys, though.  I'll be posting on my regular schedule, just not as many since I won't be seeing any movies.  And they're not all reposts like this one.  I just happened to have watched this after five years.

I really wish this had been better received.  It's got such a cool world, it seems a shame that it didn't get more love.  I would have liked there to be a follow-up, if not the full trilogy effect.  It's based on a graphic novel, however, so that might be worth picking up.  The only other thing I have to note is that my early posts were kind of crap.  I didn't even try to present them as worth reading.  Ugh.  Thank God you guys stuck with me past these annoying growing pains.  Originally posted 15 May 11.    This was better than I thought it would be.  Way better than Legion, that's for damn sure.

It is a little weird, especially what with the animated opening credits.  (Done by Genndy Tartakovsky, the guy who did Dexter's Laboratory and Samurai Jack.)  I couldn't help but make connections to Christian eschatological symbolism the whole time I was watching it.  Let me show you what I mean.

So, in this world, there was a huge war between the forces of men and vampires.  The tide is only turned with the development of supernaturally advanced warriors priests trained by the Church.  The vampires are confined to small reservations, in what I can only imagine was a misguided effort by hippie liberals.  Seriously?  In what way could that possibly end up a good thing?  But whatever.  After the war, the Priests are disbanded and forced to work menial jobs, discriminated against due to the facial tattoos they have.  One in particular, Paul Bettany, finds it hard going since he has recurring nightmares about losing his friend in the last assault.  Then his brother's farm (played by Stephen Moyer, who is the main vampire in TrueBlood) is attacked in the outlands and the local sheriff, Cam Gigandet, comes to tell him that Lucy (Lily Collins), the daughter, has been kidnapped.  So the Priest turns his back on the repressive politicized church (think V for Vendetta levels of theocracy) and sets out to rescue the girl.

This is where it gets all Revelations-y.  And maybe SPOILER-ish.  Use caution.

See, the guy behind all of this (a scenery chewing Karl Urban) is the guy that Priest couldn't save.  Surprise!  He is turned by the Vampire Queen (Whore of Babylon) and sets out to destroy the world, becoming the Antichrist.  See, because he's basically just like Priest, only in negative...and with a better hat.
Priest (the Father) and the Sheriff (the Son) are joined by the Priestess, Maggie Q, who never lost faith in the righteousness of their mission (the Holy Spirit).  Need more?  Okay.  Priest and Priestess are known only by their titles and they share superhuman abilities.  The Sheriff is named Hicks and is fully human, elevated only by his willingness to risk himself in order to save the girl.

Now all of this may be a little heavy-handed for some of you, depending on your feelings about religion.  I enjoyed it but then, I enjoy weird takes on things.  I saw it with my friend, Joe, whose only complaint was that the foley artist should have been fired.  He thought that the sound effects during the battle scenes were muted.  I didn't notice.  There are lots of explosions and slo-mo spinning kicks so I was entertained.